Chapter Thirty-Two

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Tabitha

Standing across from my father, knowing only one of us will see tomorrow, is a jarring thought. It doesn't hurt me the way it should. Yes, it hurts, but it's not his death causing the pain. I am not sorry that he has to die. I'm just sad it has to be this way. I'm sad that all my memories of him are tainted. That we can never make future ones. That he's ruined everything when it comes to our relationship. Even though I lost my father a long time ago, after today, he will really be gone. And that's what hurts.

He takes a few steps forward, coming out of the dark shadows and allowing the streams of light to spill over his face. He's still so young. But that's thanks to the vampire blood. We don't age as others do. He's always been a handsome man. At least, I always thought so. His features are prominent, with soft porcelain skin but dark eyes and hair.

"We could have had such a good life," I say, unsure why I speak those words at all. Emotion floods over me and for a moment, I allow myself to feel it. To start to grieve, because that is something I have never done before. I lost my father the day he threw me in those dungeons, but it's only now that I've considered it that way.

"Yes, and you had to ruin it," he says sharply.

"Me?" I bark. "You're the one who threw me in the dungeons!"

"To teach you a lesson."

"What lesson is that?" I ask, crossing my arms over my chest.

My heart pounds and I will myself to calm down before I blow this whole thing. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea. Maybe I'm not ready for this. Maybe it's too much.

"It doesn't matter any longer," he says, giving a wave of his hand.

"Of course it does," I grit out.

He shakes his head, stepping even closer to me. I hold my chin high, swallowing hard.

"You've made your choice."

"You didn't give me another one," I argue.

"Even if I had, you wouldn't have chosen correctly."

My bottom lip wobbles and I hate that I feel the need to cry. That I'm so sad right now. Of all times to be upset over this, now really isn't it.

"You don't know that," I whisper.

He gives me a sad smile, his hand tightening around the staff.

"You've done well, Tabitha. I'm proud of your bravery and commitment to this realm. You've always been a lively one."

How can he say things like that and mean it? Because I know he does. I know he means those words. But they aren't good enough. Not in his eyes. Because even though I am brave and committed, it's not to the right cause. It's not what matters to him.

"Where are Feibre and Ulusko?" I ask.

The men who eluded us must be around here somewhere. Maybe father has them hidden about the castle as a backup plan.

"I killed them," he says simply.

"Liar."

"I killed them because if I didn't, I knew you would, and that was a pitiful thought."

I grit my teeth, hating how his words cut so deep. My throat clogs, and I can't say anything to that. I can't defend myself. Nor should I want to. His opinion shouldn't matter. It shouldn't matter!

"We can do this the easy way or the hard way," he says, sounding bored.

One second he gives me a backhanded compliment, and the next he's acting as if I'm as dainty as a flower petal.

"I'll choose whichever options lands me as queen of Demtra," I growl out.

He sighs. "It's such a shame, Tabitha. You'd have made a wonderful queen had you only chosen to be on my side."

I tighten my jaw and step forward, placing my hand on my father's forearm.

"Don't make me do this," I say. "Things can be different."

"The angel blood in your veins will never allow you to be what I need you to be."

That hurts more than it should. All of this hurts more than I should. I've prepared for this for so long, but I guess I forgot to prepare the softest part of me. My heart.

"Then why did you have me?"

He purses his lips, holding my gaze. "It wasn't by choice."

I nod once. "An accident then?"

"Unfortunately."

There it is. More blackness to taint all the fond memories I have of my father. With each word we share, they get darker and darker, until eventually they will be pitch black. There will be nothing left. And maybe it's better that way.

"What if I try?" I say.

"Excuse me?" His tone tells me I caught him off guard. Good.

"What if I try to be what you need me to be?"

He yanks his arm back from mine as if I've burned him. "I'm not so foolish to believe that, Tabitha. You want no part of this."

"But I want my family," I say firmly. "You're all I have left. That is the angel talking. You know it's true."

He narrows his eyes on me, thinking it over.

"Where are those men of yours?" he finally asks. I'd expected him to do it sooner.

"I sent them away."

He scoffs. "Lies. You paid good money for those Dravens. For what? Just to send them away? I think not."

I hold his gaze and explain. "They were out of control. They were not listening. I told Theodas to let me stay and fight, but he picked me up and ran off with me. He argued with me."

"I appreciate the facade you have going, Tabitha. Truly I do. Your vampire blood runs deep. Perhaps it's even stronger than the angel blood, but I'm no fool. You will never be what I n—"

His word is cut off on a choked sound. His brow furrows and he glances down to where I have pierced his skin with my dagger.

It won't kill him, but it will stun him long enough for me to reach into my back pocket and pull out the wooden stake that I drive straight through his heart.

He blinks rapidly, until his eyes widen. My father stares deep into my eyes, his suddenly pleading. They lose all the harshness. All the anger. They fill with confusion. Remorse, maybe.

"You… You—"

"Know you well? Yes." I chuckle. "Am your daughter? Absolutely. Want to protect my people? More than anything." With all the force I can muster, I drive the stake deeper into his chest.

He groans, wincing at the pain. His grip on the staff releases and it falls to the floor with a clatter. My father stumbles back and I release the stake. He hits the wall, sliding down it, lifting a hand to reach for the stake, but it's already doing its job. He is weak. Too weak to even hold his arm up enough to grab the piece of sharp wood and pull it out. Not that it would have done anything. The damage is done.

I walk to him and look down. Too many emotions roll through me. I can't be bothered to pick through them now. Healing from this will take a lot of time and a lot of support.

"Spend your time in hell wisely, father. Remember that if you come back, I will be here. And no matter how many times you return, I will send you back. And each time will be worse than the last, I promise you that."

I step back as his breathing turns rapid. His skin goes ghostly pale and all the veins in his body turn black. He sucks in a sharp breath until he just… stops.

His body goes limp. Mouth and eyes still open. It's a horrific scene that will no doubt haunt my nightmares for months to come. I stand there watching for far too long. Just staring at him, knowing this memory of him will be my fondest one yet. And that is just really sad.

"That wasn't the plan."

The voice is soft. Calm. It comes from behind me.

"I know," I say, smiling to myself softly.

When I turn, I'm met with Theodas, which is a shock. I expected to see them all, not just him. He steps to me, stopping close enough I can look up.

"I'm sorry for what I said."

"I'm sorry for not listening to you."

I take his hand, linking our fingers together. "I wouldn't give you up for anything."

"I'll try harder to listen to your side of things."

I give his hand a squeeze. "That'll be important, because I want things to change."

"How so?" He tilts his head to the side slightly.

"I don't want this… master title any longer. I don't want you, Kozzanth, or Raisi to feel as if you have to do what I say. I want us to be a team."

"A team?" he asks, and I see the fear in his eyes. It makes me smile.

"Yes, Theodas. A team."

"That's not how things are supposed to—" He cuts off, his face breaking into a grin. His free hand scrubs down his face. "I was doing it again."

"You were doing it again," I confirm.

He pulls me to him, wrapping his arms around me. "I like the idea you've proposed, and I think we could make it work."

"I think so too. I think setting a new precedence in this realm is a good idea. For us and for your people. For the rest of the Dravens."

"Raisi will appreciate that."

Yes, he will. I already know this because we've spoken of it.

"And you?" I ask, looking up at him again.

"I will appreciate every moment I have with you, Kozzanth, and Raisi."

"Good answer," I say, lifting up on my toes. He leans down the rest of the way to kiss me. Which is when I hear soft footsteps. Then there are strong arms around me, and I'm surrounded by three large Dravens who were supposed to be nothing more than protectors for me. Warriors. Guardians. Hunters. But now? They are so much more. And they deserve all of it.

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