6. Hayliel

6

T he cafeteria swarms with students. It’s too damn crowded today. Or maybe it’s only me who thinks so.

Since Wingology class, I haven’t been able to shake the feeling of total worthlessness. Raphael and Theo sit on either side of me, with Dina directly across from us. Their presence helps quiet the unwanted thoughts, but it doesn’t get rid of them entirely.

I’m lost in my head, trapped there by nothing more than my own fear and ineptitude.

A figure approaches our table, spiking my adrenaline as I worry what the next insult will be from him. He might be a Fallen, but he’s also someone I feel I can count on, at least a little.

Zeke pulls out a chair, ignoring the obvious look of shock from a few of the other Fallen in the cafeteria. He never sits with us. He never really sits with anyone. So what’s he doing here now?

“Are you sure you want to do that? Seems to be causing a bit of a stir,” Raphael says, his cautious gaze roaming the cafeteria.

Zeke sighs. “I’m here, aren’t I?”

He makes a good point. If there’s one thing we all know about Ezekiel Oren, it’s that he doesn’t do a damn thing unless he wants to.

Our eyes lock, and I try to decipher the emotions I find swirling inside their green depths. Worry, maybe, and a hint of something that looks a hell of a lot like longing. That last one could just be annoyance, though. It’s too hard to tell with him and the many masks he hides behind.

“Well, I’m glad you’re joining us.” And I am. We haven’t really hashed out our shit, yet the fact that he’s here—especially on today, of all days—goes a long way in mending old wounds. I may never learn why he turned me away so cruelly all those months ago, but maybe we can find some solid ground for our friendship to grow on.

And sure, maybe I still feel this carnal fucking pull toward him, but that doesn’t matter. Yeah right, Hayles. Keep telling yourself that.

A few angels walk by in their Fallen trim-lined uniforms, gawking at Zeke. I recognize the guy in front by his mohawk, and he doesn’t even try to keep his words low as he talks to his friends. “Why the fuck is our house leader consorting with the riffraff?”

The hawk-nosed girl from class is with him too. “Maybe she can control angels once she’s fucked them. Might explain the entire table.”

Mohawk guy barks a laugh. “Like, she’s cute and all, I guess, but I don’t stick my dick into beasts.”

Zeke’s fists clench, but so do Raphael and Theo’s. They’re seconds away from getting up and telling this asshole what they really think, but I stop them.

“Drop it, please,” I whisper before taking a bite of my sandwich. “They gave me shit in Wingology class too. Just ignore them.”

“What do you mean?” Dina is the first to ask.

“It’s just been a long fucking morning. First, someone ran into me before class, then I had to listen to Cadriel in Wingology, and to make matters worse, the Fallen now seem to hate me.” I pull a bit of crust off the bread, popping it in my mouth, and do my best to focus on steadying my breathing. My emotions are too fucking strong today.

“The Fallen don’t fucking hate you. I’m here, aren’t I?” Zeke says, trying to reassure me.

“You are, but you heard their reaction for yourself. And honestly, that was tame compared to some of the shit they said earlier.” I pull at the collar of my uniform. Archangels, it’s hot in here. What the fuck is happening to me?

Raphael’s usually bright smile is gone. “Let me guess. Useless Uriel did nothing to stop them.”

The hint of a grin tugs at my lips. Useless Uriel . Now that has a ring to it. “He didn’t, but I’m not sure he even heard what was said. His focus was pretty singular on that damn obstacle course. Although, he did make some offhand remark about how my ability to continue at this school relied upon my attending the counseling sessions and doing better on that course, so it’s not like he wasn’t an asshole all on his own.”

“I fucking hate that guy,” Theo says, shocking me. He’s usually so calm, so neutral. To hear him actively hate someone is a pretty big deal.

I reach out to squeeze his hand. “Look, it’s fine. It’s not like the comments are new. And sure, I’m upset that the Fallen seem to have turned their backs on me, but I have you guys and that’s enough for me. Now, can we change the subject?”

Theo squeezes my hand back and nods. “We can. Are you still worried about Castiel?”

I sigh in relief and relax only slightly. “A little. The last thing I want is someone else trying to help me and getting hurt or in trouble.”

“He’ll be fine. I’m due back at the guild in a few days, so if he’s still gone, I can double check the logs and make sure we haven’t had any reports involving him.” Zeke pushes the food around his plate, but doesn’t eat any, and I wonder if maybe he’s uncomfortable sitting with us.

One thing at a time, Hayles. One thing at a damn time.

“Do you still think you’ll be able to collect some of those things we talked about?” Theo asks him.

Clueless, I ask, “What things?”

“Things that shouldn’t be said out loud with so many angels around,” Zeke answers. If I didn’t know any better, I’d think he was completely unruffled, but I know his tells now. The twitch in his jaw and the disinterested gaze see far more than he lets on. “But yes. I’ll do my best to gather what I can and also push Azrael more for answers. I’m sick of him keeping me in the dark.”

So they aren’t going to tell me shit, it would seem. Though I suppose they have good reason not to, given the number of angels around us. Most of whom don’t particularly like me. “Whatever it is you’re looking for, please be careful. If there’s even a possibility that you’ll be caught, it’s not worth the risk.”

Zeke flashes a small smile at my obvious worry. “I’ll be fine, humm—Hayliel. Theo, have you figured out anything more about that other thing we talked about?”

I don’t miss the way he almost called me hummingbird, but I can’t give him shit on that because I’m once again lost. What other things have they been talking about, and when ? Before now, Zeke actively avoided us. Hell, he disliked Raph and Theo with all the passions of an endless flame. But now they’re talking? Strategizing?

I must have entered an alternate reality.

Theo shakes his head. “I’m still trying to find the book. No luck at Knowledge house yet, but I’m almost certain we have a copy at home. Are you still willing to train us?”

The book? Willing to train? Did Zeke offer to teach all of us how to fight like the guild? Fucking hell, just how much have I missed?

“Don’t think I’ll forget this entire confusing conversation later. I expect someone to loop me in eventually. And soon.” I purposefully meet each of my friends’ eyes, imploring them to take my words at face value because I mean it. As worthless as I might feel, it’s only made worse when they keep me in the dark.

“We will. I promise, sunshine.”

A few students walk by and we shovel food into our mouths to appear at least semi-normal. One of them, a Fallen guy with big ears, does a double take of our group. When he notices Zeke among us, his face falls, and he whispers, “So disappointing.”

Trying not to let it bother me, I avert my eyes to anywhere else in the cafeteria and just so happen to spot something even worse. Seraphina sits in the corner with her friends. The look she gives me is full of hatred, probably pissed off that her last attempt at separating me from Raphael didn’t work.

There really is no place for me, is there?

When the area around our table is less crowded, Zeke finally answers Theo’s question. “I’m still willing to train, yes. And the sooner we start, the better. Because I help Malik with his combat classes, he gave me a private training room for the semester. We should be able to meet there without raising suspicion.”

Dina’s eyes light at the mention of Professor Malik. A while ago she mentioned he’d be the teacher she’d hook up with if she had a choice, and something tells me there’s a bit more to it than that.

She folds her arms on the table and leans in. “This whole talking in code thing while students glare at us isn’t fucking working for me. Can we use that room Malik gave you as a meeting point or at least eat lunch in one of our rooms to talk all of this shit out instead of whispering in public? Other than things and books, I really have no idea what’s going on.”

“Amen, sister.”

Zeke looks thoughtful as he says, “Maybe. But a private room offered to me to work out in is a far cry from a safe space to talk about other things . We may want to consider another option.”

Raphael places a hand on my thigh, and the warmth of his palm grounds me. “According to Raduriel, there’s an attic at the top of the tower. I’m trying to get in touch with him for something else, but I could ask him about that too.”

“Wait,” I say, completely taken aback. “What do you need from your brother?” Their relationship is strained at best and has been for a really long time. I can’t think of a reason that Raph would willingly set aside their issues to call him. Not on purpose, and certainly not by choice.

“He has information that could help keep you safe. All of us, even. So I have to try.”

I place my hand over his where it rests on my thigh and squeeze. Just when I think I’m at the edge of my rope and there’s not a place in this entire city where I belong, he makes me believe otherwise. They all do.

As much as I want to ask for more information, I understand what they’re saying. Here isn’t really the best place for it. And Dina’s right. We really do need a safe, private place to talk openly.

An idea floats around in my head, but I’m not entirely sure it’s possible.

“What is it, firefly?” Theo asks. If it were anyone else, his level of perception would bother me. But with him, all I feel is safe. Guarded.

“It could be nothing but … that house we were in the other day. It had protection runes. Whatever location we decide on as a meeting place, could we put our own runes or wards up? Something to make the area even more secure.”

“That’s actually not a bad idea,” Zeke says, nodding. “Theo and I should be able to help, though I’m not sure how much they’d work on school buildings. It’s possible they have protections already in place to not allow silencing runes. But if we have a few location ideas, we can definitely test them.”

Raphael pushes his tray away and leans in. “Well, we have the tower attic and your training room. Does anyone have another suggestion?”

Silence falls at our table as we think, which works out well because lunch time must be almost done. Students get up from their tables and head toward the exit. We’ll need to do the same soon, too.

“What about the cave near Somersault Falls?” Zeke asks, looking more than pleased with himself.

“A cave seems a little damp and dingy, doesn’t it?” Dina replies, and I can’t stifle my laughter.

Zeke throws a dark look my way. “What?” I laugh some more. “She’s got a point.”

“If we can’t ward the others, it might be our only option. Unless you want us all to meet in your room?” Zeke raises an eyebrow at me, and I’m about to take the bait of his challenge when Dina chuckles.

“Oh, hell no. I love you, babe, but I’d rather not risk having to watch my best friend get dicked down by those three every time we meet.” She shoots them a glare.

My cheeks flame with embarrassment, and as much as I want to check their expressions, I’m too scared to look. Raphael and Theo have been more than fine to share between the two of them, but Zeke? Whatever truce they have is new enough that I’m not sure it could withstand something like sharing .

Raphael rolls his eyes. “No one will be forced to watch anything. If the others don’t pan out, we’ll spruce up the cave until neither of you recognize it as such. Deal?”

“Alright. I’ll scope out a few places after class this afternoon. It’ll be nice to feel useful for a change.” Excitement bubbles at the prospect of having our own special place. There’s still a lot to do, but the hope is enough to make me forget the bullshit I’ve gone through today.

Theo grabs my free hand, pressing a kiss to my wrist. “I’d prefer if at least one of us were with you, given the shit the Fallen have put you through so far today. Please don’t go off alone.”

I want to tell him I’m fine, that I’m not some weak little girl who needs protecting. Aside from Dina and my parents, I’ve been doing this shit alone for as long as I can remember, but I don’t have to anymore. I just need to let them in .

Smiling, I nod. “I’ll make sure someone is with me.”

“And then you’re resting, I mean it,” Dina says, standing and offering me a stern look.

“Yes, Mom,” I tell her with a giggle.

I haven’t quite figured out how I’m going to handle everything that life seems to throw my way, but with friends like this at my side, it feels like I can make it through anything.