20. Kieran

20

KIERAN

Just hearing her name on his tongue felt like a betrayal.

We'd never discussed what exactly we were, and there was already confusion with my pull to multiple men, but at least he'd known what he was getting into. He knew how conflicted I was and the fact that others were involved. The circumstances were so starkly different that I couldn't even find it within me to feel like I was being unfair right now.

Honesty was everything.

I came into this wanting answers, but suddenly, none of it mattered. My feet turned on their own accord, desperately trying to carry me away from this reality. The sound of splashing came from behind me as I took a step toward the hallway.

"Kieran, wait!"

Tears welled in my eyes. Maybe I wasn't strong enough to actually want the truth.

Splatters of water falling off as he moved closer made my feet stop. My chest rose and fell with deep breaths and my body trembled, feeling like I was trapped between fight or flight.

As the warmth of his hand closed around my bicep, I whirled on him, pulling my arm out of his grasp. "So you just kissed me while you've been engaged for five years?!"

Clearly my mind and mouth were at odds with each other, but the latter was winning, throwing us right into the deep end of the conversation. The fury was back, and it was winning.

"Just let me explain!" he shouted, matching my own volume when I'd lobbed the accusation at him. Despite lacking an iris with his pure black eyes, he didn't lack the ability to exude emotions through them.

The room was suddenly stiflingly hot as the steam wrapped around us, leaving my skin feeling damp and doing nothing to hide the drops of water rolling down his very naked body.

I crossed my arms in front of my chest, feeling the need to somehow have a shield of sorts. Keeping my eyes trained on his face, as to not be sidetracked with the rest of him, I arched a brow. "I'm listening."

His jaw ticked just before his lips thinned. A huff of air fell from him as he questioned, "Do you actually want to hear the truth, or did you come in here with your mind made up already? I've had enough of not being heard by those I care about today, so, please, let me know."

Ouch .

I bit down on my bottom lip to keep the first retort that came to mind from launching out of my mouth. "That's incredibly unfair to say to me when I'm standing here, giving you a chance. I could have accepted her words at face value. So don't you dare compare me to your stubborn parents who refuse to see outside of their small scope of the world."

We stood there, unmoving as our eyes clashed in a battle of wills it seemed.

Finally he relented, inhaling a shaky breath as he shook his head. "Fuck, I'm sorry, Kieran. Somehow I just can't get anything right today."

I didn't know how to respond, feeling torn between wanting to comfort him about his parents and the way it was clearly impacting him, but also not wanting to just forget about my own hurt right now. I continued to stand there in silence, unsure of what to say since I wasn't the one who needed to explain anything.

He reached out but stopped just shy of his fingers brushing along my wrist. His eyes drifted to the floor as his green hair shook with a nod. "I get why you'd feel hurt and betrayed right now." The heat emanating from his body engulfed me as he stepped closer, towering above me with his height.

"I need you to know, first and foremost, that I have never agreed to that engagement. Not for one fucking day, Kieran." His words came out dripping with equal parts sincerity and venom, and all I wanted to do was melt into them—to seek comfort for my heart in not just his words but also his arms. Yet I forced myself to remain still, knowing it couldn't be that easy. There was far more I needed to know about this.

"It was put into motion by our parents, but they will never be able to force me into saying our sacred vows…" He trailed off as his hand came up to rest his fingers gently on my jaw and cheek. "They will never be able to force me into giving my heart to anyone, because it already found a home in you."

A shiver ran through me as I gazed into the darkness of his eyes.

"Then why didn't you tell me about this before we came here, Niz?" I asked softly before swallowing the small lump in my throat. "You knew this situation was still hanging over your head. Even worse than that, why does Illia think this is still a real engagement? You owe it to her to make that clear and not play with her heart. She's clearly invested."

His nostrils flared as I watched his lips curl back into a snarl. It was such a harsh look for the wyvern man that I took a step back.

He didn't seem to even notice my retreat as he spat, "Illia knows exactly where I stand. I have never led her on. My feelings on the matter have always been clear. Just as clear as her desire for the throne and power. She doesn't hold an ounce of care for me, Kieran. It's just her path to securing a crown."

My brow rose at that revelation, and as much as I never wanted to judge a woman in the heat of the moment, her earlier actions aligned with the type of attitude he was talking about. There wasn't any concern in her voice for Niz as she demanded to be let into his chambers. Just throwing her status in the guards face in an attempt to be allowed in and then immediately trying to assault and belittle me.

A weight began to lift from my chest as her actions and his words aligned in my heart. The frantic beating of the fragile organ slowed, returning to a normal pattern of beats.

"Okay," I began, fidgeting with my hands in front of me as our eyes clashed once more. "But why didn't you tell me about this before?"

A throaty laugh fell from him as his arms flung out. "To be so fucking honest, I forgot about her. That might make me sound awful, or it might sound like a lie to save my ass right now, but it's the truth. The situation has never taken up space in my mind because I allow it no room."

He drew closer once more, and this time as he grabbed for my hands, I let him. "I wish I could go back and fix this, so you never would have had a reason to doubt me for even the briefest of moments. But I can't, and all I can say is I'm sorry for my carelessness."

My tongue darted out to wet my lips as I digested the information as fast as my brain would allow. He'd owned up to his faults in this and given me the truth. Could I move past it now?

His hold on my hands tightened just before he whispered, "Please tell me I didn't fuck up whatever it is that we have between us. Please." Our joint hands raised to his lips and suddenly dozens of kisses were pressed onto my knuckles and hands. His words were muffled between each one, but it sounded like, "It's only ever been you," over and over again.

Unable to deny what my heart was telling me, I spoke up to draw his attention, "Niz."

When he didn't stop, I went up on my toes and brought my other hand up to his cheek, causing him to pause the kisses that he was brushing over my hand. "You didn't ruin anything…and I do believe you."

That dangerous heat that had dipped while he apologized to me came roaring back to life as he scooped me up, his large hands nearly circling my waist completely. I let out a surprised gasp as I wrapped my legs around his very naked body in the moments before he laid me out on his bed so I was under him. His frame dropped so we were nearly nose to nose, his naked, wet body no longer something I could ignore.

"I love those words out of your mouth—that you believe me—because it makes me believe that one day you may trust me," he whispered, brushing his nose against mine.

A small smile tugged at my lips before a gasp left them, shifting and feeling his length right against my center once more.

"Niz—"

"Yes, My Fire?" He asked, dipping his lips to my jaw as my skin flushed and caused shivers to break across my skin.

"I want you to kiss me." My heart was beating loudly in my ears but I didn't have even a moment to be unsure about my request, because the man did not hesitate. Grabbing my jaw, he melded our lips together in a devouring kiss.

His breath was minty and his lips were hot to the touch as he took his time exploring my mouth, his tongue trailing my bottom lip before he nipped it. I couldn't resist the urge to roll my hips as he groaned, the sound vibrating through me. My hands strung through his hair as I tried to pull him all that much closer.

"I could kiss you for hours," he growled softly, pulling away for a moment, his breaths panting from his slightly parted lips.

"I wouldn't complain," I promised.

Niz flashed me a smirk before running his hand down my stomach before reaching for the space where the waistband of my pants met my feverish skin. "Tell me I can make this up to you—that I can fully apologize to you."

"What do you mean?" I whispered, unable to look away from his mesmerizing obsidian gaze.

"I want to make you come, I want to feel you squeeze around my fingers as I devour these sweet lips."

His words were so damn hot that I barely got a nod in before I was searing my lips to his once more. The sound of the button on my jeans being popped echoed loudly through the room.

Pulling away only momentarily, the man flipped me over onto my stomach in a surprising and hot move, pulling my jeans over my ass but only to mid-thigh, so that I was held captive—unable to move.

"You're so perfect," he groaned, smoothing his rough large hands over my ass before crawling over me and using his other hand to wrap in the hair at the base of my neck, pulling my head up. I moaned happily as he kissed me hard and deep, whimpering at the sudden sensation of his large fingers moving from my ass and sliding over my hot slit.

"Fuck. So wet." He snarled, an animalistic purr breaking from his chest.

"Niz!" I cried his name as he slid a finger inside of me, causing me to squeeze around him. I found myself instantly pushing my ass up further in an attempt to make him move—to have more of him—but he stilled me as his hand tightened just slightly in my hair.

"I promise I'll give you what you need, Kieran." His voice was a dangerous growl between us. "My body is built to serve yours."

Fuck.

Adding another finger, the man began to fuck me in a way that had me moaning loudly, pleasure rolling through every single one of my nerve endings. The potential for euphoria building in my abdomen from the place his fingers were reaching had my clit pulsing with need. My legs shook as I made noises against his lips that didn't even sound like me. When his thumb brushed over my clit I nearly lost it.

"Fuck, I can't wait to fuck you one day—I can't wait until you let me give you every ounce of pleasure I can possibly provide," he snarled, breaking the kiss and pumping his fingers faster.

My eyes rolled with pleasure, panting breaths breaking from between my lips. Tight, tingling sensations rippled over my body as Niz continued his tortuous ministrations.

"This is just a sample of what I want to give you, Kieran," he murmured before nipping my shoulder.

The primal position we were in, paired with the way he nipped my skin, almost like he was trying to mark me, had me absolutely detonating .

My pussy contracted like a vice around his fingers and I arched, a cry of his name echoing through the room. It felt like my skin was on fire and I whimpered as he continued to pump in and out, but much slower, as if realizing I would now be sensitive to his touch.

When he finally pulled out, I dropped my head to the bed and turned my face so I could see him as he popped his fingers in his mouth. Gripping his cock, he let out a pained groan as he seemed to savor the taste of me—before shaking himself.

I felt momentarily disappointed when he fixed my jeans and then pulled on his own sweats, but it was quickly replaced by a soft affection as he pulled me onto his lap on the bed. He buried his head against my neck as he let out a long breath, brushing another kiss on the space between my neck and shoulder.

"I vow to you Kieran, that no matter what my parents decide, I will stay by your side. My loyalty to my kingdom is nothing compared to you. I choose you."