17. Kieran

17

KIERAN

Gabe warned us of the strenuous flight ahead, but because I went through the portal when traveling down to the Rebellion camp, I hadn't fully grasped his meaning. Now, I was acutely aware of how hard this journey would be.

Every inch of my body felt the struggle of fighting against gravity as I shifted my wings, propelling myself into the sky toward Alfemir. My white wings moved swiftly in the air on either side of me, and I couldn't help but glance at them with a bit of confusion.

I understood when they had changed color—and even why, clearly having something to do with my rebirth—but I wasn't sure how I felt about it. I had liked the physical manifestation of the change I had gone through when becoming a fallen. Now the proof of that massive change in my life was gone, as if it had never existed in the first place.

I also hadn't missed the way the men around me had stared at them before we'd taken off, leaving the Rebellion camp. I didn't have the bravery to ask what they thought of them, especially since the white wings represented so much of what we were fighting against.

Everyone seemed in relatively good spirits, though, and I was trying to keep up the facade that I had as much energy and vigor as them. I wasn't sure how long that would be possible to maintain, though.

The grueling flight, which had already taken over four hours, was slowly zapping me of any energy I'd regained following my incident with the stars. Of course, it didn't help that each of us were carrying a sizable backpack of essentials, including the dagger that Noah insisted I bring along.

Yesterday, after laying out our plan, we visited Noah and Amelia to get approval for our proposed journey under the guise of reconnaissance, not wanting to reveal Niz's identity. I was happy to have been able to check in on her before leaving, and thrilled when Noah had brought up bringing the dagger with me.

Gabe and Ronan pushed ahead of us, leading our group, while Bastian and Niz guarded the rest of us from behind. Steele had, surprisingly, decided to stay by my side throughout the flight, and while we weren't talking, trying instead to focus on holding our direction as a group through the thick cloud cover, I found comfort in his presence.

But I also knew that if I showed the slightest weakness or hesitation in my movements, he would notice. Steele was excellent at pinpointing weak links, and I refused to be that to these men.

Yet, after another fifteen minutes passed, I began to break a sweat, tightening my fists on my backpack straps in an attempt to steady myself. My back strained with each flap of my wings as I continued to move them at a steady, albeit slower, pace than before. I didn't want to ask them to slow down, especially now that I knew what I was capable of. It shouldn't have mattered if I was in the process of regaining my strength. I should have been able to do this without a problem.

My shoulder suddenly seized, and a curse left my lips. My left wing momentarily gave out, dropping me nearly twenty feet in the air. A whoosh left me as I plummeted?—

"I've got you, Princess." Steele's rough voice tickled my ear as my eyes widened in shock, the man appearing out of nowhere. Logically, I knew he dived to grab me the moment I faltered, plucking me from the air and pulling me swiftly into a secure bridal hold against his chest before I could reach where Bastian and Niz were flying below. But my mouth still hung open in surprise as he soared upwards, making up for the lost progress and then some.

My wings retracted on their own as my body sagged in relief at finally being able to rest. I stared up into his face, the pale skies appearing to make his eyes glint like metal, as he offered me a questioning look.

"Nothing? No sass? No snarky remarks? I would have thought for sure?—"

"Shut up," I groaned, letting my head fall back as I rolled my eyes. "I was about to thank you, but now you ruined it. And here I thought you were being considerate of others for just a moment."

His muscular arms disappeared from under me as I screamed, "Steele!"

He reappeared a split second later to catch me. Adrenaline coursed through my body and I let out a frustrated growl at the deep laughter that filled the air between us. My hand clutched, white-knuckled, onto his shirt just in case he considered dropping me again.

What an asshole.

"I accept your gratitude, Kieran," Steele said smugly as I narrowed my eyes on him. There was so much I wanted to say back but considering my exhaustion and the potential of him deciding to drop me, I let it go. At least he hadn't gotten a true thank you out of me.

My head settled against his chest as I watched the clouds pass by, finding comfort in his strong heartbeat underneath my ear. Something that I found beyond confusing and was even angry at myself over. Yet, despite our playful banter, his hold on me was secure. I knew something had drastically changed between us. Steele was helping me without wanting anything in return, simply offering me aid and comfort. I couldn't deny that I savored the change, instead of feeling constantly on edge and combative around him.

Suddenly, Bastian pulled up next to us, and I saw the way his eyes narrowed on Steele before he moved toward me. "Everything okay, Darling?"

"She's fine," Steele retorted, his tone calm but his hands tightening on me almost possessively. "I've got her."

Bastian offered an arched brow as a small smile tugged on his lips, seeming to find Steele's reaction amusing.

"Hey," I warned Steele. "I can answer for myself, thank you."

Rolling his eyes, I ignored him and looked at Bash, trying to convey my truth while loving his protective nature. "I'm fine, just tired. I promise."

I offered the Archimage what I hoped was a comforting smile as he gave a faux salute and wink before looping up and around us, disappearing toward the back of the group once more with Niz.

Before I could comment on the unusual decision that Bastian, and even Niz, made to not counter Steele's decision to carry me, I heard Ronan shouting my name. Looking up, I realized both Gabe and Ronan had fallen back, waiting for us.

"She's fine," Steele repeated, his tone far grumpier this time.

"What happened?" Gabe asked over the wind rushing past us.

"I'm a bit tired from the entire 'rebirth' thing that I went through." I tried to keep my tone casual and light, but Ronan's brows furrowed deeper at my words.

"I can carry you?—"

"No." Steele's voice was hard as Ronan's gaze moved to him with challenge.

"I'm fine, really," I promised my Beast Tamer. "He grabbed me the second I fell."

Ronan held Steele's gaze for a long moment before nodding, flying ahead as Gabe moved to stay in formation with him. I deflated against Steele, barely resisting the urge to rub my temple. It felt like the others should approve of Steele's move on principal—after all, he was protecting me—but I knew he and Ronan had a long way to go until they were even amicable.

It might happen eventually… Right ?

"We are almost there," Steele assured me as I looked up at the thickening cloud cover.

It was thanks to the intel that Steele and Gabe had gathered over the past few years that we were able to navigate through a path that would take us to the northern perimeter of Alfemir with ease. The path would keep our journey as short as possible while also putting us in a position to hopefully avoid being spotted.

Our plan was to enter through the perimeter post by the Northern Forrest, located on the opposite end of the realm from where Alfemir's castle, city center, and the portal were. In theory, the only individuals who would even be there were the guards at their post and the creatures living within the Northern Forrest.

Despite knowing our plan and what to expect, when we broke through the final thick layer of clouds, my chest froze up at the sight of the fortress walls that surrounded Alfemir.

I was back in a place that had been both my home and my personal hell.

When Gabe and Ronan came to a stop high enough above the wall and far enough away that we wouldn't be spotted by guards, we joined them. I noticed Niz had shifted mid-air into his smaller form, landing on Ronan's shoulder.

Gabe's voice was purposefully quiet but carried through the air to all of us. "Hopefully we timed this right to get here with the shift change. We have to hope that it hasn't already happened; listen for the bells ringing. They signal shift change, even all the way out here."

My gaze moved across the pathway on top of the battlement, searching out the current guard, before landing on an individual slouched lazily against one of the walls. He looked bored out of his mind, even from here, which possibly meant that he was at the end of his shift. It might have been wishful thinking, but I was hanging onto it.

"And there are no patrols during shift changes, so it will be the perfect time to get past them," Steele agreed. I looked up at him to find his gaze was on me rather than the wall, moving away once noticing my attention. It almost made me smile, but a more important question tugged at my attention.

"Would the recent attack have changed that?" I questioned as my own eyes moved back to the wall, head tilting as I studied the expanse.

By the furrowed brows and tight frowns that met my gaze when I turned my head back in the guys' direction, I could tell the others were confused by my question. I chewed my bottom lip before letting it pop free with a sigh.

"I'll openly admit that I never listened to much of what my father said about military scheduling, but with the recent attack at the Rebellion camp, would it be possible they changed the structure of shift change to remove that vulnerability?" I asked. When I didn't get a quick answer, I continued, "I mean, they have to be expecting some type of counterattack, right? Even if they don't believe it could be successful."

"It's possible," Gabe agreed after a moment, eyeing the wall with speculation. "Unlikely, though. This isn't the first threat they've faced, nor is the Rebellion new in their mind. Besides, they had the same process in place up until the last time I broke in ."

The sudden sound of a ringing bell had all of us snapping our heads toward the wall.

"Thank the Creator," Gabe murmured under his breath before dipping down ten feet or so and making his way toward the wall.

Steele didn't hesitate to follow him as the rest of us watched the slouching guard jump from the battlement and toward the forest before taking off into the air. The guard's white wings glinted against the sunlight shining brightly above him as he flew toward Alfemir proper. Shaking myself from the trance of the sunlight in the guard's wings, I turned my attention toward the wall, hearing the rest of the guys following closely behind Steele and me.

"I don't see any incoming guards, but we need to hurry regardless," Steele pointed out, easily dropping into his role as commander as we landed on the battlement to regroup and prepare for our flight ahead.

When he placed me down, I felt a momentary loss from his body heat but forcefully ignored it, focusing on pulling my backpack to the front of my body and retrieving the dagger from within instead. Trouble could crop up at any moment, and the jittery feeling of my heart pounding in my chest only added to the air of caution I'd felt from Steele's words.

The familiar weight of the dagger felt good in my palm, and I realized that training without it up until this point hadn't been ideal. Considering the influx of memories and knowledge I'd received regarding my powers, I now felt far more competent on how to wield the weapon effectively, utilizing it in a way that harnessed every ounce of its potential.

"Will you show us the way?" Ronan asked Niz.

The wyvern nodded before taking off toward the forest, diving from the wall before flying into the thick brush. My wings unfurled as everyone else moved to the edge of the wall, but the sound of keys jostling caught my attention.

Turning toward the patrol tower, I realized we had grossly miscalculated with our assumption that no one had arrived yet. Rather, it appeared they had arrived early, before even we had.

"Hey! What are you?—"

Before the uniformed individual could even finish his demand, moving on pure instinct as adrenaline coursed through my veins like molten lava, my dagger came up and soared out of my hand and into his chest.

With a thud, it landed right in the center of his chest, shock coloring his face as crimson blossomed from around the weapon. His body collapsed into a pile on the stone and I approached, suddenly filled with anxiety—not so much about the death I'd now caused—but about someone finding the body.

About someone knowing we had been here and potentially searching the area—which would, in turn, also put the Niz's people in danger. That couldn't happen.

My magic responded directly to that threat, and as I crouched down next to him, ignoring the calls of my name from behind me and the frantic flutter of Niz's wings as he returned to the group, the dagger began to glow golden. I felt guilty at the sight of the suffering marring his expression and for my callus analysis of the situation. That is, until I realized I recognized the individual—he was another one of my father's minions. Recognition flashed in his gaze but when his lips parted, nothing but a slow, rattling breath came out of his sagging mouth.

Runes, that once would have been unknown to me, suddenly appeared on either side of the handle. My heart beat loudly in my ears as the glow began to expand across his body before sinking beneath the surface. It lit every inch of him, an inferno building under his skin and searing his very insides. Then, with a sudden pop, he was incinerated—as if he had fallen into the surface of the sun.

"Impressive, Darling," Bastian whistled, the space around me coming back into focus as I realized I was crouching over the ashes of the incinerating guard as my men stood behind me. There was nothing resembling a body present anymore, not even the tiniest drop of blood. My magic had acted instinctively to protect us, and when a wind brushed across the battlement, the ashes flew across and disappeared over the side—removing all proof of my transgression.

So why didn't I feel way more guilty about it?

Picking up the dagger and turning toward the group, I kept my focus on cleaning off the weapon before putting it away, not wanting to see their reactions to what had occurred.

When Gabe finally spoke, a wave of relief rushed through my body, easing my tense shoulders and clenched fists. "We should have checked if anyone was in the patrol tower, we never should have put you in that pos?—"

"Kieran handled it." Steele's voice was full of confidence, and my eyes darted up to see him staring at me with pride. I couldn't deny that his words made me happy and softened the surprise that the others seemed to be exhibiting. Well, except for Bastian, who simply looked thrilled.

Ronan stepped forward and tilted up my chin, examining my face. "Are you okay?"

I knew he was asking more about my emotional state than physical, but if anything, this moment had reinforced the truth of what we would face going forward. I knew what was at stake, and I knew I wouldn't leave this war with unstained hands. I had accepted that during the battle at the Rebellion camp, but now I was accepting that I couldn't shy away from it.

"Yes," I promised him, infusing surety in my voice. I glanced around, nerves jumbling my stomach into an anxious mess. With a tight-lipped nod, I took a deep breath before saying, "We should get moving."

Niz didn't hesitate to jump off of Ronan's shoulder at my suggestion and fly down into the canopy of the trees once more. I followed him immediately, the adrenaline from the incident, causing me to feel almost high as my wings snapped out and I took to the air.

As we began our journey through the Northern Forrest, I noticed that Niz kept us high enough that we could fly to our destination but low enough that guards wouldn't see us if they came to patrol the area. It was difficult to navigate the forest, the greenery thicker than what existed in the rest of Alfemir, and even the Rebellion camp. At the same time, my difficulty in flying may have had more to do with being distracted by everything that came across our path.

I had overheard stories of the Northern Forrest most of my life. But all of them were tinged with a sense of fear at the wild kingdom where beasts roamed. None of the words spoken did this place an ounce of justice. I felt a sense of awe when looking around, and rather than fear, all I felt was respect for the majestic sights we came across.

The sky above, which normally shone a brilliant blue, couldn't break through the lush treetops that were shaded a vibrant, emerald green. Not only emerald though—amethyst and sapphire as well colored the canopy as well—as if each tree had sprouted from a precious stone. The trees were most likely ancient, so incredibly tall that some stood higher than the perimeter walls. The ground below us smelled of rich soil—speaking to the life that teemed everywhere within it. Small creatures, some I recognized and others I didn't showcasing all shades of scales, feathers, and hide, watched us with open interest.

"Hey, Ronan?" I called out, speeding ahead as a question occurred to me. "Where are all the creatures that Beast Tamers work with?"

I had expected to see griffons, phoenixes, pegasuses, and even dragons since I knew they made their home here.

"The area closest to the wall, where the trees thin slightly, on all sides is a neutral territory of sorts that most creatures avoid, as we move deeper you will see a change. Although, my knowledge is based mostly on hearsay—I'm not nearly as familiar with the Northern Forrest as the Southern. I've heard, however, that much like humans or angels, the beasts have created their own communities.

"Because of dominance, they tend to adhere to them pretty strictly. As Beast Tamers, we do our best to never remove populations past a certain threshold, only taking what the military deems as necessary…and honestly, usually far less than that. It tends to be an unspoken promise between beast and angel since we are the only individuals that have the power to affect their lives here."

It didn't surprise me that the military would demand more than was necessary—whether it be more beasts or more power. It also made me respect Beast Tamers even more, knowing that they went out of their way to ensure the balance of nature was kept as much as possible.

Suddenly, the sound of avian-like calls and chirps echoed through the air, almost as if in greeting.

"It seems like we're flying along the territory line between the phoenix and pegasus territories now!" Ronan shouted out to the others behind us.

Elegant, avian creatures flew past us in flocks, colors ranging from crimson to sapphire flashing before my eyes as I watched in awe. Small and large alike, they filled the trees we flew through, some taking off and others following us. I was so entranced by the entire experience that when we eventually broke into a clearing, I felt a sense of loss with their disappearance.

It was only momentary, though, because the space below us was a true marvel to behold.

A pink and purple lake stood out in the center of the space, surrounded by geode stones that were covered in crystals. Pegasus of every shade of the rainbow moved across the clearing in small groupings, like families, and I found myself dipping down to see them better—completely enraptured by the whimsically fairytale-like scene playing out before me.

At that moment I promised myself, when we had time—when we weren't literally saving the world—I would come back here and explore. I would see everything that the Northern Forrest had to offer.

"It looks like Niz is landing! Is that a cave?" Ronan called out as I directed my attention to the west and the section of the mountain range we were flying toward, Niz's wings shifting up to slow his momentum. I saw the cave he was talking about, but it appeared so small that I wondered if my wyvern had led us to the wrong one. As we landed on the cliff in front of the entrance, Niz shifted back.

Resisting the urge to look over his naked frame, I scowled at the reckless, knowing smile he offered me before grabbing the clothes Ronan offered him from his bag.

"I know it seems unimpressive, but the entrance is supposed to be as inconspicuous as possible…" Niz explained, his words trailing off as his gaze moved over my shoulder and his brows dipped with concern.

Turning, I expected to see the worst—approaching angels, or a disgruntled dragon—but instead, it was just Bastian. His wings were moving in the air to hold him above the ground, but his attention was fully on the large mountainscape that separated the forest from the rest of Alfemir.

Jumping back into the air, my wings already extended, I joined him. His gaze was faced steadily forward, and I knew immediately that something was wrong. Bastian's eyes were a deep navy color and his face etched with pain that caused his jaw to clench so tightly I feared it would shatter. The suffering was a visceral emotion I could feel rolling off of him.

Normally, he covered his suffering with humor, so to see it so blatantly expressed was equal parts surprising and concerning.

"Bash?" My voice was soft as I brought my hand to his, intertwining our fingers.

"This…" He motioned with his other hand to the jagged divide in the mountain ahead of us. " This is where it happened. Where I felt my magic for the first time and lost control."

My eyes widened as the valley-like divide in the mountains suddenly took on a different meaning—no longer looking natural, but instead like a product of his wild, sometimes explosive magic. Which meant that this was where the death of his brother had happened.

"Holy shit," I murmured. Of course, I knew how powerful Bastian was, but to see the result of his raw, untrained power? A magic that could literally move mountains was insane.

"I hate seeing it—the bliss of ignorance, of forgetting, was one of the few blessings of being imprisoned for so long," he hissed, his jaw tightening with tension. Bastian's grip on my hand was almost painful, but I couldn't find it in me to do anything but squeeze him back tighter.

"I know that you blame yourself for what happened," I whispered, hoping to comfort the hurting man next to me. I tugged on his hand, but he gazed steadfastly at the mountains. Infusing my voice with sincerity, I continued, "But you were so young—your powers manifested in a way you could have never imagined—Bash, you didn't even know you had them. You have a dead affinity; nothing could have prepared you."

Bastian inhaled and nodded after a long moment. "For the longest time I did blame myself, solely . But now I don't, at least not only myself. They led me to believe I was a monster while they spent years torturing me. No one bothered to ask the question of why I was different—no one told the doctors that I might have had a powerful, dead affinity, even those that might have been aware of it. So no, I don't just blame myself, I blame every single one of them for his death. And knowing that Alfemir tried to eradicate our affinities?"

Bastian's gaze moved back toward the cave entrance where the others were watching and listening, raising his voice slightly. " That is exactly why we're going to go in there and get the wyvern's support—Alfemir's rule has come to an end."