10. Kieran

10

KIERAN

"Decided to hang out with us today instead of training?" I asked Ronan curiously, gently knocking my shoulder into his muscular arm playfully.

Noah stood at the top of the stairs to his cabin, a curious tilt to his head as Bastian made his way past, already slipping off his shoes at the door. Clearly, he was energized and set on getting back to work. I understood his determination completely, feeling enthused and better rested myself.

I'd woken up this morning a bit later than I would have expected, which was something I blamed on Bastian and Gabe. Between the orgasm and tight cuddles I'd received, who could blame me for the deep sleep I'd been lulled into? This morning, when I managed to finally lift my heavy eyelids, I found myself buried against Gabe's chest, practically laying on top of him. I could have been embarrassed, because I absolutely had some drool on my face, but instead, I'd just felt refreshed and ready to tackle the day.

"Yes, actually." Ronan's lips tilted into a small smile as he slid his large hand over my waist, resting it on my lower back while leading me forward. Gabe, Steele, and even Niz had just retreated back down the path for training—leaving Noah with Bastian, me, and apparently Ronan. I was surprised by his choice to stay with us, especially with Niz going to train with Gabe and Steele, but I'd never complain about spending more time together.

"Why?" I asked out of curiosity, stepping through the doorway as Noah made his way to the office, leaving us to chat. I began to slip off my shoes, waiting for the Beast Tamer's answer as he followed me into the room.

"I want to see your powers in action," he admitted with a shrug. "I need a break from physical training, and I wanted to see if I could help you in any way."

That was actually really sweet, but I wondered if it had anything to do with taking some space from the others. While he and Niz seemed to be mending any rift remaining between them, I had to imagine that it wouldn't be smooth sailing the entire time. There were likely some lingering emotions still being worked through.

"I hate to tell you this, but you won't be able to see much." I sighed, eyebrows rising before adding, "I mean, unless you can read my mind, which is where all my current energy is being tunneled into."

Something that would be horribly embarrassing, considering my thoughts were constantly revolving between my new affinity and all the men who drew me to them like a moth to flame.

Ronan stepped in close to me and tilted my chin up, eyes lighting up with a mix of soft affection and amusement. "First, I would give more than you realize to be inside of your head, even for a few moments. Secondly, even if I can't see much of your power, I will be able to see enough to know if you're overdoing it."

Ah. I let out a sigh.

It was starting to make a bit more sense why Ronan chose to stay with us today. Yesterday, I did my best to play off my trip to the medical center after training, but all of them, Ronan especially, had fixated on that piece of information, questioning me until I admitted that my meditative state caused multiple burns to appear across my body.

The Beast Tamer was totally here to spy and try to make sure it didn't happen again.

"Hey." I slid my hand against his chest, resting it over his heart. "I promise you, even with the trip to the medical center yesterday, I feel great. It's a small price to pay to be able to tap into the powers that I have no choice but to learn to wield."

"The price is too high, especially if you're getting hurt in the process."

"Ronan, buddy!" Bastian called out to him from the center of the room where he was lounging on the mats. "You really don't have to pretend—we both know that you just wanted to hang out with the objectively cooler group of people. I mean, Niz may make training relatively more interesting, but it's still with Gabe and Steele—Kieran and I are far more fun to be around."

I stifled a laugh as Ronan cracked a smile. "That's it. You've got my number, Caster."

Bastian offered a beaming smile. "See? I knew it!" Shaking my head, I couldn't help but smile at both of them, loving the familiarity they communicated with. Despite their rough start, I had a feeling they were quickly becoming friends. Acquaintances at the very least.

"Well, I am pleased to have you here, Ronan." Noah's voice drew our attention as he walked across the floor from the office, a mug of tea between his hands. "Today, I will be heavily focused on Bastian's training while Kieran continues to work on her meditative state and connection process. I like the idea of having an extra set of eyes on her, just in case her attempts verge onto the line of danger and she needs to be pulled from that state to take a break."

"The state itself causes her injury, I would say that is already on the line of 'danger.'" Ronan's voice was rough as I stared up at him with concern before looking back to Noah. I knew he could no doubt see the tension in Ronan's jaw and the way his eyes were narrowed on him.

Noah's look was filled with understanding, his brow dipped in sympathy and his lips pressed together as he considered his words for a long moment. "I understand it is upsetting, and it will be even more so to watch it occur in person. While the texts didn't mention that specific injury occurring, they did mention that once the connection to the assigned star is made, it grows physically easier to use Star Keeper powers. I have to assume that once that happens, it will reduce the risk to Kieran."

"I guess we'll see then," Ronan rumbled.

I had a feeling that was the best we would get the man to agree to right now.

"Where do you want us?" I asked Noah, turning my attention back to training.

Considering Ronan's concern over my potential state, I was more determined than ever to make this connection happen quickly to avoid a dramatic scene.

"Ideally over to the far corner of the space. Considering the extent of Bastian's powers and their nature, I would rather err on the side of caution and have you at a bit of a distance. I don't suspect it will be an issue, but it's better to be safe than sorry."

"Works for me!" I agreed quickly before scurrying toward the corner, Ronan following me over. We sat facing one another. His back was to Bastian and Noah, naturally shielding me, and I fought the urge to smile at the sweet gesture.

Still, my gaze tracked over his shoulder to where Noah and Bastian stood in the middle of the room talking in lowered tones. I was half tempted to sit and watch Bash's training out of interest. He hadn't told me much about his experience yesterday, so I found myself beyond curious about the full range of his powers. I shook the notion from my mind, knowing I had massive leaps to make in my own training.

This needed my full attention.

"I'm going to focus in," I told Ronan before my brows furrowed. "Are you sure you won't be bored just sitting here? I could end up doing this for hours."

"Never," he promised, propping himself up by leaning back on his arms. I settled myself in a comfortable position with my legs crossed, calm flowing through me. I wouldn't lie, I felt ten times more confident going into the meditative exercise this time around.

Sure, I knew pain could come with it…but I also knew I was getting closer and closer to my goal. Taking a deep breath, I let my eyes fall shut. This time when I went to build my internal tether once more, I quickly found it there and waiting. That was progress.

Almost immediately, it responded to my touch.

Releasing it from the center of my sternum, the gold rope slackened around me on the floor of my imagined space before lifting from the ground. Focusing my attention upwards, I felt my chest squeeze with excitement and awe at the infinite skyscape above me. My tether didn't waste time, responding to my will with far more strength than the day prior as I continued to push upwards toward the stars.

It was still a slow process, with the sensation of our world's gravity trying to ground me and keep me bound. It was hard to fight against, but I was determined, and with each push, I felt myself growing closer.

As I drew nearer to the stars, reaching the same point as yesterday, I began to notice subtle details about them that I missed before. My gaze narrowed in on the star closest to me. I felt as though I couldn't push forward, but I found that I could see more clearly and could more closely study my discovery.

Runes. A set of runes vibrated around the star in a circular pattern—almost like rings around a planet. Except they weren't vibrant or pulsating with the power they should have exhibited. Instead, there appeared to be something wrong with them, their image glitching in and out, as if they were having trouble solidifying within my reality.

I wasn't sure how long I floated there, trying to study the unique pattern. When I finally realized that the runes were all the same, but drawn in slightly different variations, I had a shocking revelation.

Were these… were these runes drawn by previous Star Keepers?

Wanting a closer look, I decided to attempt to push past the barrier that had stopped me from moving forward twice now. Drawing my power into my center, the tether vibrated with energy as I focused all my will on the star directly in front of me. I pushed—hard. Every ounce of my energy and focus was completely aligned with the task at hand, and the second I shot my energy out, I went flying. Relief, victory, and a sense of pride soared through me—I thought that I had finally managed to break through another blocking point.

A wall slammed up in front of me suddenly. A scream caught in my throat as I smacked against it, the imagined state around me shattering as the scent of burnt flesh hit my nostrils. Searing heat stretched across each of my arms and up my neck, causing me to whimper in pain. My skin felt as though it was bubbling like molten lava.

"Fuck, Kieran—open your eyes!" Ronan's frenzied tone pulled my eyes open, and I found myself looking down at my arms, tears leaking down my cheeks. My head throbbed and I shook, my arms covered in burn marks and blisters that had popped, blood and a clear liquid seeping out of them.

Suddenly, everything went cold, my arms prickling with a chill. My energy dipped, like there was something new draining me that I didn't understand—something completely disconnected from my power.

My eyebrows knit together. The room felt almost locked into place, with a distinct magic floating through it and saturating the air. The taste of copper hit my tongue and a surprised gasp left my throat. My heart beat loudly in my ears as the power began to pull on me. No. That wasn't a strong enough word for the force it latched onto me with. It felt as if I was being fed on by a ravenous entity.

I watched in horror as the blood on my arms began to lift off in small bubbles, swirling in the air. More bubbles appeared as blood began to seep from my skin, moving through the space toward… Bastian?

"Snap out of it, boy!" There was fury in Noah's voice, which was almost as unfamiliar as the hint of fear I detected there as well.

I could feel Ronan crouched next to me, his panic nearly as palpable as Noah's terror. But that wasn't what held my attention.

Bastian.

Blood seeped from his palm-up hands, like a fountain of unlimited crimson liquid. On his face was a look of euphoria and joy, his lips parted and eyes hyper focused on my blood floating toward him. My stomach churned at the sight of so much blood, and as the vacuum of power grew stronger, my head began to spin. When I heard Ronan's booming voice—his words indistinct—I realized my hearing was going in and out.

My eyes fluttered shut for only a moment, and I felt as though I was about to pass out.

A sudden eruption of a new energy had me fighting with all my might to peer through my narrowly slit eyelids. I saw a massive, dark cloud of swirling wisps blasting out of Ronan. My lips parted, and I watched in shock as the shadows converged together in a sudden sweep and formed into a mid-sized wyvern that damn near filled the entirety of the small room.

Within the span of a few seconds, it launched through the air, soaring toward Bastian with an open mouth. A roar filled the space, shaking the walls as the figure collided with the Caster and knocked him onto his back. I took a ragged breath as the drain I felt on my body disappeared.

"Holy shit," I gasped, my hand coming to my throat that was now raw to the touch, covered in burns and blisters as well. I didn't give the injuries a second thought. All I could do was stare at the wyvern that had Bastian's unconscious form trapped underneath the shadowed claw it had lifted and poised over his heart.

Ronan grunted suddenly, his hand moving to his chest as if in pain. The creature flickered out of existence, the swirls wafting along the ground before dissipating completely. My gaze moved to the Beast Tamer—he stared at Bastian's trembling form on the floor before looking toward me.

"Ronan…what was that?" I asked in a whisper that echoed loudly through the silent room. Noah stared at the three of us in shock, his mouth hanging open as his brows shot up impossibly high.

For the first time in all the years I'd known Ronan, I saw true fear shining in his eyes.

"No idea, Beauty. No fucking idea."

As the healer wrapped my left arm, the soothing balm underneath causing my skin to prickle in cool relief, Noah finished pouring himself a cup of tea. He poured four in total, but I knew one would go untouched for sure, considering it was meant for Bastian.

It had been thirty minutes since the man had woken from his unconscious state and forty since the occurrence of… well, whatever the hell had just happened. The Caster now sat in the far corner of the office, unwilling to come closer, his cold, gray gaze filled with a darkness that almost felt eerie. His skin was far paler than normal, almost chalky, and his hands were white knuckling the arm of the chair he sat in. It was like he was physically restraining himself from leaving the room.

"Bastian?" I called his name as the healer left through the office door. When Noah first called for her, to both check on Bastian and me, she assured me that my wounds would heal quickly but that I may need to return for another set of bandages. If I continued to train like this, I had a feeling the medical center staff and I would become fast friends.

"Yes?" His voice was a rough croak, and he evaded any eye contact.

Ronan made a concerned noise from next to me, his gaze focused on the corner of the room, clearly seeing exactly what I was: Bastian was losing it .

"Will you please come here?" I kept my tone patient and even, not wanting to express my own panic over his purposeful distance. I knew what this was about—it was clear by the way he kept looking at his blood-stained hands and then back at me, as if he was in an endless loop of torturing himself. Bastian's magic had escaped his control and was now causing him to be terrified that he would hurt me—I was sure of it.

When he refused to respond, I turned my gaze back to Noah and asked, "Can someone explain what the hell just happened?"

The older angel looked toward Bastian for a long moment before releasing a sigh and returning his eyes to me. "I'm not sure how much he told you about our session yesterday after you left, so I'll start there. Bastian's potential of magic usage is essentially unlimited. However, yesterday we discovered he had a…'speciality,' so to speak."

"And this has something to do with blood?" I wagered a guess considering the pool of blood that still laid on the mats in the other room.

"Precisely, blood magic."

Considering Bastian's obsession with my blood ever since we'd met, that almost made a bit too much sense.

"So his magic backfired and started pulling my blood? Drawing on it for his own use?" I asked for clarification, looking toward Bastian but finding that his gaze was still focused firmly on the floor.

"I'm not sure fully," Noah admitted, rubbing his temple. "But when you began bleeding from your injury sustained during training, it seemed to trigger his power. I think it caused him to go into an almost frenzy-like state, drawing on and conjuring as much of your blood as he could."

"Impressive," I murmured with a lifted brow, unable to stop myself from marveling at this new information. It wasn't the only thing that needed to be addressed, though. My eyes shifted to the Beast Tamer. "Okay…and what about Ronan?"

Noah offered Ronan a curious tilt of the head before asking, "Has anything like this ever happened to you before?"

"No." Ronan shook his head vehemently. "My magic has always acted in accordance with being a Beast Tamer, which just means feeling a connection to beasts and having a natural understanding and relationship with them. I didn't even mean to create or produce whatever that was, I just wanted to protect Kieran, and then it acted?—"

"On its own accord," Noah murmured under his breath before standing and walking over to his bookshelf. "Seems to be the running theme for this group."

"Is it a more advanced form of beast taming possibly?" I asked, trying to push for answers but not really understanding what questions I should be asking in order to get them.

"No, not that I am aware of." Noah grabbed a familiar book, the one about affinities, and walked back over before placing it on his desk. "I believe that the skill set Ronan possesses makes it appear that he is a Beast Tamer, when, in fact, he is something much stronger."

"What?" Ronan demanded at the same time I questioned Noah's proclamation in my head, confused by the entire thing.

As Noah flipped through the large text, I allowed my eyes to momentarily move over to Bastian, where I found him zoned out on his blood-stained hands once more. A frown pulled on my lips as I tried to refocus on the page Noah stopped on.

"Shadow Commander?" I read the name out loud.

"I've never heard of that," Ronan admitted, tracing the picture of a shadowy dragon in the center of the page. Wisps of black smoke rolled off of it.

"That's because it's a dead affinity…one I believe that you have."

Oh .

"That seems a bit far-fetched," Ronan murmured, though his eyes lit with interest and a bit of hope. My chest relaxed with the realization that he seemed almost happy about this discovery and not upset in the least. I had to assume, considering the upheaval that recently occurred with Niz, that this was welcome news.

Had I somehow…drawn a bunch of dead affinity angels to my side? Like calls to like , I suppose.

"It says that Shadow Commanders, after taming a creature of any kind, have the ability to call on its spirit in shadow form and solidify it to use their physical form or skill set," Ronan noted after scanning the text.

And thanks to Niz, he was more than familiar with wyverns.

"It knocked me unconscious and broke my magic's hold on Kieran," Bastian pointed out, his voice barely a whisper. "Whatever that creature was made of, there is no doubt it was strong. I had no intention of stopping until that happened. I…I couldn't stop."

Everything in me wanted to go to his side and reassure him. The only thing holding me back was the thought that he truly might not want my touch right now. I didn't want to make the situation worse.

"I don't understand." Ronan sat back and fixed Noah with a speculative look, a singular eyebrow arched in question. "How is this possible? How is this the first time I've called one of these forms?"

"I'm not sure, something must have triggered it." Noah frowned. "It seems I don't know nearly enough about these affinities as I need to…" His eyes moved to mine before offering me a small smile. "And, Kieran, you seem to be collecting dead affinity users left and right to fight at your side."

Apparently.

"Here's what we're going to do," Noah said, standing from behind his desk. "Before tomorrow, I will be sure to gather more information for you, Ronan, and we'll try to find out what triggered your ability to use this affinity. For the rest of today, I want both of you to go rest.

"Kieran, you need to recover before trying that connection again, and, Ronan, I imagine your body will have a reaction to that much power being used for the first time."

"What about Bash?" I demanded, looking over to find that the man was staring at me with torment in his nearly black eyes. My chest cracked open at the agony so clearly pouring out of him. Didn't he understand? I wasn't mad at him in the least, this had been an accident. I knew Bastian didn't want to hurt me.

"I need him to stay and train more," Noah said firmly. "I think he will find comfort in learning how to control his magic more than being at the house."

"Okay," I nodded with a sigh. "Bastian, can I talk to you in private before I leave?"

As I stood and left the office, not giving him a chance to say no, I felt relieved to find that he followed me, meeting me in the center of the room. I offered my hand, but he shook his head and shoved his hands in his pockets, his eyes shifting in an oscillating reflection of his mood. They cycled from the cold, disassociated gray all the way to a tormented midnight blue. It probably didn't help that a few feet away from us was the pool of blood that was part of this entire mess.

"Kieran…I am so incredibly sorry. I would never want to hurt you?—"

"I know," I cut in, trying to soothe him. "It's really not a big deal; I know it was an accident."

"But it is a big deal," he snarled, looking suddenly furious, his eyes flashing yellow as his irises narrowed into slits. "I almost killed you…I loved drawing on your blood. I could have easily drained you. I could have killed you. I could have lost you just like I lost him?—"

My mouth opened, a question on the tip of my tongue to ask who he meant, but then it hit me. I snapped my jaw shut and nodded in understanding. His brother. He was thinking about how he lost his brother to his magic lashing out once before.

I refused to hold myself back a second longer, slamming my body into Bastian's muscular form. He let out a low, wounded noise from his throat as I wrapped my arms around him and squeezed as hard as I could. My voice was uneven as I tried to comfort him. "You're trying something new. I know there's a learning curve. I'm not mad at you, and we can keep practicing. I don't care what you say, Bash, you don't want to hurt me and I know you would have found a way to stop it."

Bastian's body remained stiff within my hold, and eventually my hands fell to my sides as I took a step back. "Maybe we can talk when you get home?" I asked hopefully.

With the small distance that I had created between us, his body relaxed a tiny amount.

"Yeah, maybe," he murmured.

My gaze followed him as he turned and strode back into the office with a determined gait, Ronan passing him on the way out. I watched as Bastian sat in our abandoned seat facing Noah. Even without being able to hear them, I could tell that his words were coming out fast and harsh.

"Beauty," Ronan wrapped his arms around me and pulled my attention toward him, "he'll be okay. Let's just give him some time. Besides, both of us need some food and rest."

"Okay," I whispered, still feeling uneasy about leaving Bastian.

When he got home, we would talk—I would make sure of it. Never again would he be left alone with his pain and fears.