Chapter 31

CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE

A fter the three of us lock Hethenos in the cells, I fly back to the castle to check on Harlum. It’s strange to call him that, and not call him my father, but the reality is he’s not. I can’t even call him my father based on him raising me, because he’s never really been there for me. It’s clear to me now that I was nothing more than an item of power to him. A goddess he could use to his advantage, just like he did with my mother.

I didn’t tell Demetros or Lacinda about that yet. Once the dust has settled, I’ll debrief them on the twisted branches of my new family tree. I’m still in shock about it myself, but also somewhat relieved to finally learn the truth.

Anxiety creeps up on me as I move through the corridor toward Harlum’s quarters. I’m half expecting to see the twins guarding his doors, but I know that isn’t possible. They’re both dead now. A shiver runs down my spine at the thought, at how easily Hethenos could take their lives, as if it was nothing.

I spot two young guards I don’t recognise standing outside his quarters, and they immediately step aside and hold the door open for me. I give them a nod in thanks when I pass them and walk into Harlum’s quarters.

The room is dimly lit as usual, and the fire is crackling away somewhere to my right. I cross the room to the double doors that lead to his bedroom.

Mikel stands guard on one side of his bed, and Amaros on the other. He scans my body, his wide eyes silently telling me he’s glad to see I’m okay.

My stomach does a little flip as nerves fly around inside me. I have learnt things about Amaros that concern me. A lot. The fact he’s really a god, for one. Despite Hethenos’s lack of clarity, I know he’s involved. I heard him speak of their plans myself, even though he said I misheard him. I didn’t, and I’m going to find out the depths of his involvement.

I shift my focus to Mikel and smile at him as I approach Harlum’s bedside.

“Zarla?” Harlum mumbles while he shifts under the covers to face me.

I take hold of his hand, his skin rough with calluses. “Yes, it’s me.”

He blinks, trying to focus on me, and he appears so much older, no doubt due to the poison weaving its way through his system.

“After I learnt of the poison, we had the healers remove it. He woke from his coma a few hours later,” Amaros explains.

I don’t look his way, but I dip my head in acknowledgement.

“Hethenos did the same to me,” I explain to Harlum. “Alaron removed it.”

Harlum’s expression hardens. “How do you know Alaron?”

“It doesn’t matter. He saved me, and that’s what counts.”

I have to be careful around Amaros. Although he and Harlum both already know I’m a goddess, I don’t believe they know Kyle is a god, and I need to keep that information to myself. I can’t risk them entrapping me within the Kingdom to prevent me from seeing him. Or worse, trying to use me against him.

Harlum shuffles until his back is pressed against the soft pillows lining his headboard. “Where have you been?” he asks though a strained voice.

Taking a deep breath, I explain what Hethenos and the twins did to me, how Amaros saved me, and how Hethenos and I fought in the Dark Forest. I tell him how she used Finlay to lead the watchers to kill Kyle, and how she’s now locked up in the cells. And finally, I tell him how she confessed to murdering my mother.

His reaction is interesting, and it’s clear he already knew, but he tries to act surprised anyway.

I don’t mention how I know Amaros is a god and was involved in Hethenos’s plans, and I think it surprises Amaros, judging by the way he’s looking at me. But I don’t do it for him; I do it for me, allowing myself time to figure out his involvement and decide what to do about it. I don’t mention the way Harlum treated my mother, the fact he isn’t my real father, or the fact both Hethenos and Astelle are goddesses, too.

“Zarla, I am so sorry,” Harlum whispers. “I had no idea she was capable of such atrocities.”

Another lie.

“I will have Amaros bring on new guards. I can’t say I’m sorry to hear of the twins’ fate. After what they did, they deserved nothing less.”

I couldn’t disagree with him there. I don’t mention my mother’s journal, which I have safely hidden in my room, for fear he will seize it, stealing my chance to learn more about her past.

Amaros takes a step forward. “I think it’s best you go. He needs time to rest before the healers return to continue their work.”

I let go of Harlum’s hand and take a step back from his bedside. “This may not be the best time, but I need my guardian markings back. I need to be able to leave this Kingdom.”

“No,” Amaros says with a stern voice, and I glare at him. “It’s not possible.”

“I was asking Har—my father,” I tell him.

Harlum coughs a few times, and Mikel hands him a glass of water. He takes a sip before looking at me.

“Amaros is right. The answer is no.”

Despite my protests, Amaros escorts me back to my quarters. He explains Hethenos will remain in the cells under heavy guard until her sentencing, which takes place in two days’ time.

“I need my markings back, Amaros,” I tell him. “I need the ability to leave the Kingdom. There are no more threats, or at least I don’t think there are,” I say, giving him a side eye.

He grabs my arm and hauls me to a stop. “You and I both know that you can leave through the Gateway of the Gods if you so choose. Don’t play games with me.”

I grit my teeth. “I’m not. And yes, I can, but it’s temperamental and doesn’t always take me where I wish to go. Using my markings would be much easier.”

“I forbid you to leave the Kingdom. Is that understood? Via any means. You will remain here.”

I yank my arm away, but he refuses to release me from his iron hold. “Amaros, you're hurting me.”

His eyes bore into mine. “You are too important to lose. You are staying right here where I will guard you myself.”

I narrow my eyes at him. “What, am I your prisoner now? I don’t want you as my guard. I don’t trust you!”

He drops my arm, and hurt swirls in his eyes.

“Can you blame me? After everything I’ve just been through. You’re a god, Amaros. Astelle and Hethenos are both goddesses too, just like me. And you knew this all along, didn’t you?”

He simply looks at me and doesn’t respond.

“Did you know about him?”

His brows knit together. “Know what?”

I cross my arms as tears sting my eyes, trying desperately to stop them from spilling over. “That Harlum’s not my real father.”

He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. So yes, he knew.

I storm away from him toward my quarters. Footfalls echo in the corridor behind me as he runs after me.

“Zarla, wait,” he pleads as he grabs my wrist.

I yank myself away, but he doesn’t let go. Again. I struggle, and he uses his muscular frame to box me in against the corridor wall, bracing his hands on either side of my face while he leans in close. His breath is warm on my cheek as his gaze drops to my lips, and I can sense his lust.

I close my eyes, breathing in his delicious scent. Despite everything, I still find myself wanting him to touch me, to kiss me. Gods above, what is wrong with me?

“Please just listen,” he asks as I reluctantly meet his eyes. “Yes, I knew.”

I reach up and slap him, and he grabs hold of my wrists, pinning them above my head while his eyes search mine.

“How could you keep that from me?” My voice breaks, and the tears finally fall.

“Because I knew it would devastate you to learn the truth. I was protecting you. You may not see that now, but you will. Everything I have done has always been for you. I love you, Zarla.”

I open my mouth but find I’m unable to respond. I stare into his icy-grey eyes and find truth there. But despite this truth, what of his lies? What of his involvement with Hethenos’s plans to take over the Kingdom? After all, she said she wasn’t the only one who wanted to. Did Amaros conspire with her?

“Say something, please,” he urges, his voice gentle as he reaches down and glides his fingers across my cheek and over my lips.

I suck my bottom lip into my mouth, afraid of his reaction when I say what I’m about to say, but I have to. “I love Kyle. Despite what you think, he is my fated mate.”

Pain fills his eyes as he releases my wrists and takes a step back. He rakes his hands over his face while agony unfolds in his features.

“I will always be here for you,” he says, his voice firm, “no matter the depth of your hate for me.”

He steps in close and presses a kiss to my cheek, lingering there longer than necessary, and I close my eyes. Half of me expects him to kiss me, and half of me wants him to.

“I don’t hate you,” I admit, my voice merely a whisper when I feel him step back.

And then he walks away, leaving me alone in the corridor.

The following two days pass by in a blur. I spend most of my time in my quarters, trying to connect with Kyle. I tried to send a messenger angel, but he was intercepted at the borders and was told he could not leave the Kingdom. Why is Harlum going to such lengths to prevent me from seeing Kyle? He knows nothing about him.

I even tried sneaking into the Dark Forest to the clearing to transport through the Gateway of the Gods, but Amaros followed me. I think he got a kick out of allowing me to think I was going to escape, only to show up at the last minute and stop me.

I am desperate to get back to Zarquon. To Kyle. It has been far too long since I last saw him, and I miss him more than I can bear. He’s my mate. I know it in the depths of my soul; I want to be mated to him. Then I will never have to experience this agony again, of being apart, wondering why he hasn’t come, wondering if he’s okay.

I can imagine us living together in Zarquon. It’s a beautiful Kingdom, and after everything I have been through here, after everything I have learnt, it no longer feels like home. It no longer feels safe.

During the past few days, when I wasn’t in my quarters, I spent my time in the Great Library, reading up on the gods, trying to gain an understanding of who they are. How many of them are still around, and where they live.

Thoughts of who my real father is have plagued my mind ever since learning the truth. A truth I think I always knew was there. Where is he? Does he know I exist?

I stare at my reflection in the mirror as I run my hands down my turquoise silk dress, and my bright green eyes stare back at me. My father’s eyes.

Brushing those thoughts aside, I plait my hair and let it hang over my shoulder with a few loose waves framing my face. I look nice, and although it feels strange wearing a dress, all my guardian leathers are being cleaned, so I have no choice. I really have to arrange more leathers.

Moving away from the mirror, I grab my white fluffy coat and slip it on. It immediately warms me, but the warmth doesn’t distract me from the sense of dread building in the pit of my stomach. The thought of seeing Hethenos again and knowing the fate she is about to endure knots my stomach.

She deserves nothing less than what The Throne will decide for her. I visited Kastal Kallis yesterday afternoon after I worked up the courage, and I explained everything Hethenos said about Finlay and how she threatened his family if he didn’t do as she asked. He appreciated the information, but I could see the rage burning in his eyes. He planned to find his son, have his sentence reversed and his wings restored.

I open my door to find Lacinda and Demetros waiting for me. They’re holding hands, and they look so comfortable together. It warms my heart seeing the two of them. Lacinda drops his hand and pulls me in for a hug.

“Are you ready?” she asks, concern etched into her features.

I let out a long breath. “About as ready as I’ll ever be.”

We walk to The Throne room together and find seats high in the stands amongst the crowds. I feel I’m being watched and glance down to meet Amaros’s eyes. He’s standing near the front of the room, and he clasps his hands in front of himself and looks down, breaking the contact. Guilt tugs at my heart for what happened between us, but I had to be honest with him.

He lied to me more times than I can count, and I just don’t know that I can trust him. Why is he here, working as a guard when he’s a god? Is he hiding from something, or someone?

I scan the room for Astelle, but she’s not here. It doesn’t surprise me though. I wouldn’t want to watch my mother’s sentencing for her crimes either, especially knowing it’s likely to be a death sentence after what she has done. I feel sorry for Astelle, having a mother like that. It clearly rubbed off on her in all the worst ways, and I can only hope she can recover from this.

A guard steps into the centre of the room. “Please rise,” he says, and everyone in the crowd stands as the nine Throne angels walk into the room through the side door.

Once they’re seated, a guard leads Hethenos into the room. She’s wearing white loose-fitting pants and a white loose jumper. Her blonde hair is a mess, and I don’t think I’ve ever seen her so dishevelled.

The guard leads her to her seat behind the bench where she sits facing the nine Throne angels. She scans the room before settling her gaze on me.

Lacinda grips my hand as I look down at my lap for a moment. I’m thankful when I glance up to find she’s no longer looking my way.

The Throne doesn’t give Hethenos an opportunity to speak, as they usually allow, likely due to the seriousness of her crimes. They step out of the room for a while as they deliberate, and they return once they have decided upon a sentence for her. The same guard stands at the front of the room to read out her fate, and I all but hold my breath.

“Hethenos Pagonis, The Throne has sentenced you to a punishment rarely handed down because of its cruel nature. However, given your crimes against your own Kingdom, against your King, The Throne has hereby sentenced you to the fires.”

The crowds erupt into gasps and whispers. Demetros, Lacinda, and I share horrified looks.

No angel has been sentenced to the fires before, at least not that I can recall. The fires are where they burn angels alive. A shiver radiates down my spine at the thought.

Hethenos looks to Amaros and mouths, “You will pay for this.”

What does she mean by that? That she blames him?

That same feeling of dread swirls in my stomach as the guard leads her from The Throne room back out the side door.

I focus on Amaros, who meets my gaze, and there’s an intensity in his eyes that frightens me.