Chapter 14

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

“ N o, no, no.” I thump my fist onto the bed and sink down to the floor as tears sting my eyes.

Kyle is at my side in an instant and rubs my back while I discreetly brush the tears away. That journal could have had invaluable information about the weapons of the gods, or insights into who could be behind everything going on right now with the watchers.

“I don’t know what to do. I need that journal.” I meet Kyle’s eyes, and he caresses my cheek.

“It’ll be okay. We’ll figure it out.”

As I stare into his eyes, I feel a deeper connection with him than my memories seem to allow. I wish I remembered him the way he does me. The connection we have is clear. I can feel it deep inside me as strongly as I can read it in his perfect features.

“You’re the strongest female I have ever met. There’s this determination about you I’ve never seen before, and I remember it now from when we were young. You can do anything you put your mind to, Zarla. I know it.” His eyes search mine as I move closer to him, and then the door opens.

In the split second I have, I put my veil up, shielding us both as Amaros steps into my quarters. Kyle stares at him, his forehead creasing, and I hold my finger to my lips. We can’t risk being heard right now, no matter how secure the veil is.

Amaros glances around the room, and his gaze settle on us. It’s as if he’s staring right at me. He takes a step forward, and I all but hold my breath, but after a moment, he leaves. I wait a while to be sure he’s gone before I lower the veil.

“Who was that?” Kyle asks with a hint of protectiveness lacing his words.

“He’s my father’s first guard, and he’s very protective of me. A little over the top, to be honest.” I roll my eyes.

Kyle stands and helps me up with him, but he doesn’t move away from me. We’re so close I can almost feel his heartbeat. There’s an electricity that flows between us whenever we’re together that ignites a fire inside me, and I find myself moving into him just as he leans down and presses his soft lips to mine.

The kiss is gentle at first, then a fiery passion takes hold of us both, and I give in to it. Kyle deepens the kiss and moves us toward my bed. He lifts me and I wrap my legs around his waist as we fall back onto the covers. His body fits against mine like we are made for one another. He braces his hands on either side of my head and pulls back, staring into my eyes as we both breathe hard. There’s a deep yearning in his gaze that sends warmth through my body to where my desire burns.

“Believe me when I say I don’t want to stop, but I need you to remember me,” he says through rapid breaths.

I nod, and he presses one last kiss to my lips before he climbs off the bed and helps me up. Gods above, this male is everything. Gorgeous, respectful, and kind. I need to remember him, too, and I will. There must be another way to regain my memories, if not through the sacred golden fountain, and I’m going to find it.

Someone calls my name from outside in the corridor, and I quickly hide Kyle under the veil as the door swings open and Amaros enters.

“I’ve been looking for you. Where have you been?” Accusation laces his words and his eyes bore into mine.

Shoot. What do I tell him? “Oh, I only just got in.”

His forehead creases slightly, as if he doesn’t believe me, but he doesn’t push it. I clear my throat, waiting for him to say something.

“Your father needs to see you. Immediately.” He stares at me, waiting for me to follow him out of the room, but I don’t.

“Okay, thank you. I will come and find him soon.”

He takes a step toward me and shakes his head. “No, he needs to see you right now, actually.”

I haven’t seen Amaros this demanding before, and it surprises me he would speak to me this way. I risk a glance at Kyle behind me, silently telling him I will be back soon. Just as I wonder whether he even understands, I can sense that he does.

I turn back to Amaros, and without a word, I leave my room and stop in the corridor, folding my arms across my chest as I wait for him to lead the way.

He closes my door and walks right up to me, his features laced with concern. “Are you all right?”

I swallow the lump in my throat. “I’m fine.”

He arches a brow. “Where have you been? Did you return to Earth?”

This male is infuriating. I can’t figure him out. Sometimes he’s gentle toward me, and other times he’s rude and demanding, as if he somehow controls me. It’s none of his concern where I have or haven’t been. My father allowed me to return to Earth, and Amaros was there when he said it.

“If you must know, then yes, I returned to Earth,” I say, before adding, “which is my job, as a guardian.”

He turns away from me and runs a hand through his hair. “It isn’t safe, Zarla,” he says, turning to face me once more. “You aren’t strong enough to keep fighting if rogue watchers continue to attack.”

I drop my arms to my sides. “You know, I’m getting sick and tired of being told I cannot handle myself, or I’m not strong enough. I have fought many watchers now and survived every attack. I am more than capable of not only doing it again, but of protecting Kyle.”

Something flickers in Amaros’s eyes, and he closes the distance between us, his fingers grazing my cheek as he tucks a wave of my hair behind my ear. “I’m only looking out for you, Zarla. I don’t want to see you hurt.”

He stares intently into my eyes and, for a moment, I wonder if he’s expecting me to say or do something. I open my mouth to respond when Astelle appears. And she looks pissed.

“What’s going on here?” she demands, her blue eyes blazing as they practically burn a hole through Amaros.

I take a step back, realising I’m closer to Amaros than I should be. Astelle’s focus darts between Amaros and me, awaiting an answer. I look at Amaros, and as our eyes meet, I can see how sorry he is about this situation. And then he turns on Astelle.

“What’s going on here is none of your damn business, Astelle,” he says, pointing his finger as he storms toward her. “You do not speak to the King’s guard that way again. Do you hear me?”

My eyes widen while the situation unfolds. The tension in the air is thick, and I have never seen Amaros act like this. It’s a side of him that scares me a little.

Astelle pouts, crossing her arms across her chest. “May I remind you I am the King’s daughter, and you best remember that .” She glares at me before turning and storming off in a huff.

Amaros looks back at me and rubs his chin. “Are you all right?”

“I’m fine,” I say, a little confused. “Are you?”

His jaw tenses, but he nods. “Come on. We better not keep your father waiting any longer.”

And with that, he’s walking away.

I hurry to catch up to him, but I keep a slight distance. Something tells me he needs a bit of space right now. And gods above, what must Astelle be thinking after seeing us so close and Amaros caressing my cheek? I can only imagine what she will tell her mother.

My stomach knots at the thought, and I try to brush it aside. No matter what she tells her mother, she couldn’t possibly despise me any more than she already does.

We pass the corridor that leads to my father’s quarters, and I wonder where he’s leading me. It soon becomes clear as we head down the corridor that leads to the Great Library. Growing up, it was one of my favourite places in the entire Kingdom.

We enter the library, which is filled to the brim with just about every book you can imagine. It’s a masterpiece. I glide my fingers along the spines of the books as we pass by the shelves, and Amaros watches me intently.

“What is it?” I ask, blushing a little.

He laughs. “Your mother used to do the same.”

I bite the inside of my cheek, unsure whether to ask about her, but he seems to have known her reasonably well, so I do. “How well did you know my mother?”

I swear I see pain in his eyes for a moment before he looks away, composing himself. What was that about?

He clears his throat. “Not very well. Let’s go.”

There’s something off there, the way he acts when he speaks about my mother. I think he knew her better than he’s willing to admit. But why lie about it? That’s the part that doesn’t make sense. I decide not to push it with him, knowing it won’t get me very far, and follow him through the library to where my father is waiting for us, sitting at a desk with several books spread out in front of him.

“Zarla,” he says, and eyes Amaros, who nods and leaves us alone.

“Father,” I respond.

His long silver hair catches the light, shining a little. His hair is nicer than some females within the Kingdom. It suits him and matches his lengthy beard. He gives me a strange look, and a feeling of unease grows in my stomach.

“I’m worried about you,” he finally says. “I want you to remain in the Kingdom.”

Oh gods above, not this again. “Seriously? I thought we went through this. I can take care of myself. Why is everyone suddenly so worried about me?”

His brows furrow. “Who else is so worried?”

I decide not to mention how Amaros voiced his concerns earlier. Something tells me it’s more personal than it should be, and best kept secret for now. “Never mind. My powers are strong, just like my mother’s were. I can take care of myself.”

He stands from behind the desk and moves around toward me. “How did you know about her powers?”

“The Master told me. He saw the same potential in me he saw in her.”

He lets out a long breath and rubs the side of his face. “Your mother was a powerful angel, but you’re young, Zarla, with much to learn. You need to be careful who you trust.”

I move to a nearby seat and sit down. “Why don’t you ever talk about her? I barely know anything about her.”

He glances away, and for a moment, I’m sure he’s going to shut me down, yet again, the way he always does when I speak of her or ask questions. I always thought it’s because it’s too painful for him to discuss, but I’m starting to wonder if there is more to it. Like maybe he’s hiding something.

He sits on the edge of the desk and cups his hands in his lap. “Your mother was very special to me. She was everything to me, in fact. It’s been hard. Losing her left quite a gap in my life.”

I narrow my eyes, unsure if I believe a word he’s saying, especially after reading about how he treated my mother in her own journals. “You easily filled that gap.”

His eyes find mine, and he frowns. “Zarla, you know nothing of which you speak.”

I roll my eyes. “Because you don’t tell me anything. I’m left to either guess, or ask others, or find answers myself.”

My voice is louder than I expect, and I realise it’s likely because of the pent-up anger over the years. I was abandoned, much like my mother was. Left to fend for myself. I basically grew up without a father. He’s never been there for me, never around to teach me things, or to spend time with me.

Lissian stepped in to fill the void of not just his wife, but my mother, and Harlum is happy with that. He’s relieved that he doesn’t have to worry about me. Hethenos and their daughter, Astelle, are the perfect little family. I’m the outcast, the nuisance. But despite that, despite how he treats me in private, he puts me on a pedestal in public. He has to prove that his beautiful daughter is as amazing as her beloved mother was.

He doesn’t want to be seen as a failure. That is the truth.

“Zarla, I’m sorry. I never meant for anything like this to happen. It was too painful for me to face it, to face you. You remind me so much of her, it hurts just to look at you sometimes. She was my soulmate.”

Tears fall down my cheeks, and I harshly wipe them away. He doesn’t deserve them.

“I don’t need to hear your excuses. I was your daughter. Hell, I’m still your daughter. If she was so important to you, you wouldn’t have treated her the way you did. You wouldn’t have treated me the way you did. The way you do.”

I get to my feet as his features shift, mirroring the hurt and pain I have felt my entire life. Maybe now he will understand. Although I doubt that he ever will.

“I don’t know what to say, except that I’m sorry. I wish she were here. She would have done a much better job at raising you than I.”

I let out a strained laugh. “Yes, that much we can agree on.”

I leave the Great Library, sick to my stomach. The fact that he pretends to care about me makes it that much worse. He doesn’t give a shit about me. He cares about upholding appearances, nothing more.

When I reach my quarters, I hesitate outside the door. I don’t want Kyle to see me like this, but I know just being in his presence will help to soothe my pain. I take a deep breath and open the door, but he’s nowhere to be seen. My heart drops as I close the door and search for him, and then I sense the veil is still up. I lower it to find him standing before me, and relief floods my body.

“You’re hurt,” he says, cupping my face between his hands as concern twists his features.

The warmth from his touch soothes some of the pain, and I all but collapse into his arms. He carries me to the bed and holds me while I lie against his chest, tears staining his white shirt as I absently trace my fingers along the tattoos on his arm.

“What happened?” he softly asks after a few minutes.

I swallow the lump in my throat before I answer. “My father. He’s an asshole.”

My voice is raspy from crying, but I don’t care, and neither does Kyle.

He presses a kiss to my head and strokes my back, and it’s incredibly comforting.

“He doesn’t want me going back to Earth,” I say.

Kyle tenses.

“I won’t listen to him,” I quickly add. “He doesn’t know what he’s talking about. I’m in no more danger down there than I am here.”

As I look into Kyle's eyes, I roll onto my stomach and prop myself up on my elbows. “I don’t want us to be apart again. I’ve never felt more safe than I do when I’m with you.”

He leans down and brushes his lips against mine. The kiss is sweet, and it’s just what I need right now.

He pulls back too quickly. “I don’t want to be apart from you either,” he says, “but I have to go back to Earth. I need to tidy up my life down there before I dive into this one.” He must see the worry in my eyes and adds, “But I want to. Dive into this life, that is.”

I curl my lips into a small smile as a giddy feeling settles inside me. “What did I do to deserve you, Kyle Smith?”

His brows furrow. “Oh, about that. I remembered my last name is actually Laskaris. It means a kind of soldier.”

I glide my fingers across his lips. “I like it. It suits you.”

He takes my hand and presses a kiss to the back of it.

“So, does that mean you remember your parents?” I ask.

He nods, sliding an arm behind his head. “Some more memories came back while you were gone. I remember my family, and my Kingdom. Or some of it, at least.”

Warmth spreads through me as happiness tugs at my heart. Happiness for Kyle, because he deserves to remember his past. “I can’t wait to hear more about them.”

He tucks a stray lock of my hair behind my ear and gently tugs the end. “Come on. Let’s go back to Earth and figure out our next move.”

I let out a sigh. A part of me knows he’s right, but the other part wants to hide out here in my quarters with Kyle forever. But I know we can’t. Unfortunately, reality requires us to face things we may not like. Things that need to be solved before we can have any chance to rest. But first, I’m going to make it my mission to get Kyle his wings back.