Chapter 12

CHAPTER TWELVE

" L et go of me!" Astelle demands as Amaros continues to drag her through the clearing toward the gateway.

I peer over the top of the fallen log I'm hiding behind and stare in shock at what I'm witnessing. What is he doing with her?

The gateway glows, and Zalore steps through it, flanked by two watchers.

Okay, this can't be good. Do I help?

I hesitate for a moment before deciding to lie low and just watch for now. I don't want to rush out and put myself in danger unnecessarily. Maybe they're just having a chat. Maybe it's nothing.

Although the feeling gnawing away inside my gut tells me that's not what this is.

"Amaros, let me go!" she begs him once more.

"Zalore," Amaros says in greeting with a dip of his head, ignoring Astelle.

"Amaros. And you must be Astelle. I remember you from the meeting I hosted in my Kingdom. I don't think I could forget a face as beautiful as yours…" His voice lingers in the air as he eyes her up and down like a piece of meat.

Gross.

"What the hell's going on here?" she asks.

Zalore lets out a deep, throaty laugh. "You didn't tell her?"

Amaros remains silent.

"You're my new mate," Zalore states.

Um, come again?

"Excuse me?" Astelle gives Zalore a death stare before turning her gaze to Amaros. "Like hell I am."

Zalore reaches out and strokes her cheek, and she rears back.

"Don't be rude," Amaros growls. "What he speaks of is true."

Astelle's mouth drops open, and then she slaps Amaros hard across the face. He simply rubs his cheek.

Zalore smirks. "I like a female with a bit of fight. Makes it more interesting."

Amaros shoves Astelle into Zalore's arms. "As promised."

Hell no. This isn't happening. I step out from behind the log and storm toward them.

The two watchers immediately shift into defensive mode, drawing their swords, but Amaros waves them off. They stand down.

"Let her be," he instructs them. "She isn't a threat."

I snort. "Oh, I think I am."

Zarla, everything okay? Finlay's voice fills my mind.

Not now, I respond.

"You can't do this. She's not your property to just give away!" I insist.

Zalore takes a step toward me. "Would you like to take her place?"

Amaros growls, and I roll my eyes. Bloody possessive males.

"What the hell do you care?" Astelle says.

"You're still my sister, Astelle," I tell her. "I know you don't want this."

Zarla, I'm not feeling good about this. I'm coming back.

No! I'm okay. I'll fill you in after, I promise. Do not come here.

His sigh fills my mind. Fine. But if I sense danger again, you cannot stop me from coming to find you.

Okay, fine.

Zalore leans down and sniffs Astelle's hair, and she glares at him.

"You're right, I don't," Astelle says. "But I'd go anywhere to get away from you. You killed my mother, and you stole Amaros. Anywhere is better than being here, in your shadow, for another minute."

Amaros reaches out and touches my back.

"Don't touch me," I warn, moving away from him before refocusing on Astelle. "That's not true. Hethenos made her own choices, and Amaros has used us both."

"That's not true," Amaros snaps. "I care for Astelle. I just don't love her like I do you."

Astelle's nostrils flare as her jaw tenses. "You lying asshole! You told me you loved me !"

Zalore rolls his eyes. "Enough of this."

He grabs Astelle by her wrist and drags her through the gateway before I can stop him.

The two watchers step in front of the gateway, blocking my path, and Amaros wraps his arms around me from behind and hauls me away. The watchers then pass through the gateway, and it stops glowing, disappearing into the night sky once more.

"Let go of me!" I demand.

Zarla!

Amaros finally releases me, and I turn and punch him in the jaw.

Finlay, I'm fine! I will check in with you soon. Trust me.

Amaros rubs his face. "Maybe I deserve that. But you don't know why I made this exchange."

Fine, Finlay responds, his frustration clear.

I press my lips together and narrow my eyes at Amaros. "Do tell, then."

He simply stares at me. His gaze drops to my lips for a moment, and I cannot believe he's even thinking about kissing me right now, after everything.

"Who the hell are you?" I ask. "You've been here in my Kingdom my entire life, pretending to be someone you're not. You're a god. What do you want?"

He runs a hand through his thick, dark hair and moves toward me. I rear back again. There is no way in hell I am allowing him to touch me right now. He raises his hands as if to say, all right, I'll leave you be .

"You need to stop fighting me," he says. "You are slowly losing everyone you care about, but if you would just open your eyes, you would see that I'm still here. I'm not going anywhere."

I frown at him. Is he serious? After everything, he still thinks he has a chance with me?

"We are perfect for one another," he continues. "We can be powerful together. Don't you see that? A powerful goddess and a powerful god."

I let out a strained laugh and press my hands against my hips. "That'll never happen."

"I knew your father."

I drop my arms to my sides and stare at him. "You're lying to me."

He takes a couple steps forward. "I am not. I wouldn't lie about this."

I narrow my gaze at him and fold my arms. "Why haven't you told me this before?"

He moves closer, and when I shuffle back again, he raises his hands. "I'm not going to hurt you."

Although I can't believe anything that comes out of his mouth, I know deep inside that he wouldn't hurt me. So I stay put as he stands before me and then traces my cheek with his fingers. His touch sends a shiver across my spine.

"If you do as I say," he says, "I will help you find him. I know where he is."

I frown. "How can I trust anything you say?"

A smirk spreads over his lips, and I know I'm not going to like the answer.

"Because. What other choice do you have?" he asks.

I follow Amaros back to the castle, and we land outside on my balcony. It both frightens me and excites me, being alone with him right outside my quarters, and I mentally kick myself for having such thoughts. This male has lied to me my entire life. He has burrowed his way into my heart, and he has tricked both Astelle and me into thinking he loves us.

And he probably had sex with your sister, my subconscious reminds me, and I screw my face up at the thought.

"What is it?" he asks as he steps way too close to me.

I back up until the cool glass of my balcony doors presses into my spine, but he moves closer still. He leans in, his breath hot on my cheek. I close my eyes and breathe in his earthy scent that's somehow both dangerous and alluring.

He moves his hand to my side and slips it under my leather corset. I flinch, but he keeps a firm hold on me. He slides it up until he's tracing my breast.

Gods above, how is this male able to do this to me? His lips press against my neck, and although half of me wants to throw him off, the other half, the traitorous half, is enjoying herself.

"I trust we can keep this between us? After all, you heard her. She wanted to go with him." His voice is soft against my cheek.

He nips the bottom of my ear, and I shudder at the sensation.

He slides his hand between my legs, and a moan escapes my lips.

Gods above, Zarla, get it together.

I try to push him off, but he doesn't move an inch.

"You watched me with her, didn't you? Did you like what you saw?" he murmurs.

I swallow hard, trying to pretend that no, I didn't watch, and no, I definitely didn't like it. But deep down, I know I did. Not because I enjoyed seeing him with her, but because I wished it had been me.

Gods above, what is wrong with me? I love Kyle.

"Answer me. Did you like it?"

"No…" I whisper, and even my voice betrays me.

He puts his hand on my throat and gently presses against it. "Don't lie to me."

I nod.

"Say it."

I stare into his grey eyes, somewhat frightened, somewhat intrigued. "No."

A smile tugs at the corners of his lips, as if he knows the truth that I refuse to speak. He moves his hand between my legs, rubbing over my leathers.

I swallow hard and then part my lips.

"I know you did. You can lie to yourself all you like, but you can't lie to me. Now that Astelle is gone, and Kyle doesn't want to be with you, we can finally be together."

I blink a few times, and he kisses me.

What the fuck are you doing? I scold myself.

I shove him again, and he removes his hand from between my legs but maintains his hold on my throat.

"You and I can rule. Together."

I know I have to play along with whatever game this is. He has information I need about my father. He said so himself. If I do as he says, he will give it to me.

"I'll think about it," I tell him, and he withdraws his grip from my neck. I swallow as I rub the skin there. "You have hurt me. A lot. I'm going to need some time."

He nods and then reaches up and brushes his fingers across my lips. "You are so beautiful."

Before I can dodge it, he kisses me again, and I have to allow it, despite how wrong it feels. I'm thankful when he pulls back, knowing he has to give me the time I said I need.

"When will you tell me about my father?" I ask.

He smiles. "In due time. Once you are prepared to accept my offer."

And there it is. His offer—be with me, or I'm not telling you a damn thing.

Bastard.

"Good night." I step into my quarters, close the door, and lock it behind me.

He releases his wings and dives off my balcony, and I can finally breathe again.

I swear by the gods, if you don't tell me what the hell's going on, I'm coming to find you, Finlay says in my mind, sounding annoyed.

Shoot. I had completely forgotten to explain.

Sorry, I caught Amaros gifting Astelle to Zalore at the gateway. I couldn't stop it.

What the fuck?

I know. It was pretty messed up, but in the end, she wanted to go. Amaros also told me he knows where my father is, and if I play along with his little games, he will tell me what I want to know.

Zarla… you can't trust him!

Look, I know, okay? But I can't risk setting him off. He just gave my sister away to a damn psychopath. I'd hate to think about what he may do to me if I really piss him off.

I'm met with silence, and I wonder if he's decided to come and find me anyway.

Okay, I trust you know what you're doing, he finally responds.

I do, I tell him. There's something I have to do. I'll talk to you tomorrow, okay?

All right, then. Good night.

Night.

There is only one other person who may have the information I need. I leave my quarters, praying to the gods I don't see Amaros as I pass through the castle corridors toward Lissian's quarters. The last thing I need is for him to think I'm not going to take him up on his offer. But how in the gods could he think I would after everything?

I gently rap on Lissian's door.

She answers it quickly, a wide smile tugging at her lips as she gestures for me to come in. "Zarla, dear, what brings you here?"

She leads me over to two armchairs, and I take a seat opposite her. She raises her brows in question.

Right, straight to the point it is. "What do you know of my real father?"

She frowns at me and shifts uncomfortably in her seat. "I don't understand what you mean."

Interesting. So she doesn't know, then.

"Harlum isn't my real father," I explain.

Her mouth gapes open as she stares at me in total disbelief. "What in the gods do you mean? Of course he is."

I sit forward in my seat. "No, he's not. In my mother's journals, she described me as having beautiful green eyes, just like my father. Harlum doesn't have green eyes. And Hethenos confirmed it as well. She said that my real father, my mother's true mate, was in love with Serona, but he filled them both with his seed. So Astelle is my sister, but she isn't Harlum's daughter, either."

Her eyes flutter as she shakes her head. "That's not possible. Are you sure Hethenos wasn't lying to you?"

I chew on my nails as I consider it. But no, I'm sure. She was honest about everything that day. She wanted to hurt me.

"I'm sure," I say.

She leans back in her chair and scratches her forehead. "Well, I never knew about this. I would have told you if I had. In fact, I'm surprised Serona never told me."

I place my hand on her knee. "I know that. And I'm not blaming you or accusing you of keeping things from me, but I just had to ask you about it. I need to find him."

She covers my hand with hers and gives me a gentle smile. "What do you know of him?"

"A memory came back to me. Several memories, in fact. I remember the night my mother was murdered. I was there."

She squeezes my hand. "Zarla, I'm so sorry."

"It's okay. Well, it's not, but it's as okay as it can be. So I know Harlum, Hethenos, and Amaros were all there that night. It was Hethenos who killed her, though. Afterwards, once they left her quarters, a large male with these huge gold wings appeared out of thin air. He looked so familiar to me, and he seemed to recognise me somehow. He picked her up and then just disappeared again, leaving me alone."

She covers her mouth. "By the heavens… I'm so sorry, Zarla. That memory is quite the burden. And to think, all this time, Harlum and Amaros knew the truth, but they allowed the entire Kingdom to grow hatred for Zarquon. To blame them for Serona's death."

I mull over her words and immediately think of Amaros and his reasons for taking the memory from me. To protect me, so he said.

"How did you lose that memory, and how did you get it back again?" she asks.

I shift uncomfortably in my chair as I think of the best way to explain it. She needs to know. She needs to know the depths of Amaros's deceit.

"It was Amaros. The night my mother was killed, he stole the memory from me. He did it my entire life, when it suited him, or Hethenos, or even my father. That's how I forgot about Kyle. That's how they made him forget about me and his entire life."

She gasps.

"Amaros knows I know. I have confronted him about it. He gave me a huge spiel about how it was only to protect me. Well, first he lied about it, though."

She presses her lips together and rubs her chin. "And do you believe that?"

I shrug, get to my feet, and then start pacing before her. "Yes and no. I believe he has tried to protect me, but I think it's been more for his own personal gain than doing it for me."

She nods as if in agreement. "Yes, you might be right. Is Harlum aware of this? Of any of this?"

I stop pacing. "No. Not of me gaining my memories back, or that I know he isn't my real father."

She sighs. "Zarla, I can understand your apprehension of trusting him after what you remember. But he needs to know about Amaros. Amaros is dangerous. He cannot be trusted, and he shouldn't be allowed around our King or you."

I chew my nails once more and stare out her balcony doors across the Kingdom. The last of the sunset splashes across the sky, and the colours are as beautiful as ever. Purples and pinks, swallowed up by darkness.

"I remember a male who Serona spoke of as her ‘true love,' Lissian says. "I never met him, but he fits the description."

I spin around to face her. "What did she say about him?"

She takes a deep breath. "Not a lot. She just said there's another male she dreams about, one she cannot be with. She spoke of how special he was, with his gold wings. I didn't understand, and I assumed it was just a dream. No angels with gold wings exist, at least as far as I knew."

Confusion creases my forehead. "And that's all she said about him?"

She nods. "Like I said, I assumed it was just a male from her dreams. Zarla, you can't trust anyone with this. You must keep it to yourself. If other angels catch word of this, of you not being Harlum's real daughter, it could put your life in danger. You need to find your real father before someone else does. And I would warn Astelle of this, too."

"Ok, thank you. I'll be careful," I say, and head for the door.

"Goodbye," she says, giving me a hug.

"Goodbye."

I leave Lissian's quarters and head back to mine as nerves swirl around inside me. Telling her about Astelle wasn't possible. If Amaros found out I had told her… I'd hate to think what he would do. I have to be careful with this information, and I need to avoid Amaros where possible. If my father is who I think he is, he must be powerful. And maybe Amaros is intimidated by him.

I'm barely down the corridor when Amaros rounds the corner ahead. Our eyes lock, and a scowl seeps into his features. He knows where I've been. Lissian's quarters are the only ones around here that I would visit.

He storms toward me, grips my throat, and thrusts me up against the corridor wall.

My heart races as I stare into his rage filled eyes.

"Where have you been?"