Chapter 17

It’s been almosta month now since my brother was stabbed in the back by my best friend. We haven’t really talked about it, and she won’t tell me where she went while I was sleeping. Why was she wearing a trench coat?

The cops took our statements, and we still kept our lips sealed about who he really was. They used one of the fake IDs he had in his pocket to identify him. Nicci and I didn’t correct them. We’ll take that secret to our graves.

We continue on with school, classes, and life. The energy between us though has changed, in a way. It saddens me.

I’m in the bathroom throwing up again. I feel so sick and there’s a pain in my abdomen. I thought it was because of stress, working too much, or not eating much. I’ve swept it under the rug and given it every excuse in the book. I think I might be in denial.

I’m sitting on the toilet holding the pregnancy test I bought from the convenience store today. I watch as the urine runs up the strip, filling up the indicator lines. I’m sweating, heart racing at the anticipation of what this little white stick will tell me.

I look up, praying for the first time for someone to please save me. Don’t let this happen to me. Taking a deep breath, I look back down at the stick in my hand. My eyes are blurring at the two pink lines.

Tears run down my cheeks, I’m so angry. He’s taken everything away from me. Now this.

I stand up and look in the mirror. I’ll never be the same. I’ve changed into someone I can’t even recognize anymore.

I hear a whisper in my ear: “You can never get rid of me, little butterfly.”

The tears in my eyes are blurring, but my anger is like a raging sea ready to destroy it all. “Yeah, well, we’ll see about that.” I grab hold of the knife I’ve kept with me as a safety blanket. Screaming with all that I have, trying to release this pain I’m feeling, I plunge the knife into my abdomen. Right over the A he burned into my skin. I look at it in the mirror as blood drips from the wound. Then I pull the knife out to release the pain I feel.

The floor reaches up to me in a cool embrace.