Chapter Thirty-Nine

Willow

The symptoms are better. This should make me happy, but how can I be, when it confirms what I wish to god wasn’t true?

That my imprint mate is also my greatest enemy.

Every time he looks at me—and I can feel him looking, no matter how tightly I tuck myself away—I can sense it. He knows all that I am. My name, my body, my destiny. Not just because we’re imprinted.

How many times did my file cross his desk? How many times did he have the power to turn me away, and spare me from my fate?

Instead, I had to spare myself. I left. And he followed.

And now I don’t know if I ever actually escaped.

“Hungry?”

I start. Kane is standing above me, holding a leafy parcel with a distinct fishy aroma.

He clears his throat. “Would’ve put it in a bowl, but, uh, you gave those away.” He pauses. “Plus everything else.”

I lean against the tree. “Mindy needed it more.”

He must hear the bitterness in my voice. “She’s gonna be fine, Will.” Under his breath, he adds, “Would’ve been fine without all our stuff.”

“So why’d you let me give it to her?” I snap. “I’m your omega, aren’t you? You could’ve stopped me.”

Maybe he didn’t deserve that. But the way he snarled at Silas this morning, talking about me like I was nothing more than an alpha’s possession, plays on a loop in my head.

Kane stands there, at a loss. Finally he answers, “I knew you wouldn’t leave. Even with her fever broken.”

I cock my head.

He shrugs. “I would’ve let you do anything if it meant getting you to safety.”

For some reason, the words leave me stunned. Kane’s tone of voice is always so harsh, it’s hard to imagine him wearing his heart on his sleeve, and yet … that’s who he is. Brutal. But pure.

I don’t realize I’ve accepted the fish until he wipes off his hands. “Eat,” he says. “I’ll come back with water.”

He’s gone before I can beg him to stay. For a few blissful seconds, my inner omega is quiet, basking in the earthy cinnamon pheromones he leaves behind.

***

I don’t have to overhear the alphas’ discussions to know they’re bickering about me.

Silas, I don’t have the stomach to feel guilty for. But Kane deserves better. I invited another alpha into our group, and, cruel or not, he was right: that is a choice . One I didn’t have to make. The only question now is what to do about it.

If I let Silas bond me, that’s it. He’s a part of me forever.

If I don’t, he’ll be just as much with me—his absence a wound, a sickness, I have to live with my entire life.

Kane visits me a couple more times during the day. I’m sure he knows as well as I do, we’re on a clock. The sentinels are coming. If we want to steer clear, we’ll need to cover a lot more ground.

“He wants to talk to you,” Kane says.

“Does he have a plan for avoiding the sentinels?”

“I … don’t think that’s what he wants to talk to you about.”

My inner omega wants to push the topic, but I force myself to focus. “If we go to Northside, we might stand out. The sentinels got all the way to Pack Hoffran—who’s to say they didn’t set a bounty in the village itself?”

He frowns. “Doubt it.”

“Why?”

“What Northsider in their right mind is gonna rat someone out to the enemy?”

“You assume their loyalty.”

He tilts his head. “Isn’t that what villages are for?”

I try not to sneer. Yeah, right. Not exactly the words I’d use to describe my experience in Southside.

Finally, I say, “It’s probably our safest bet. But I’ll need a new cloak.”

Kane gives me another odd look.

“Mine doesn’t have a hood.” I lift the collar, showing him. “Can’t hide my face, or my hair.”

Kane starts to take off his. I put a hand on his arm, stopping him.

“We’ll cross that bridge when we get to it.” I force a smile. “Not to deprive you the chance to undress.”

“You making fun of me again, omega?”

You denying how much you like it? I want to play along. Instead, I poke at the food he brought me—another tasteless fish. My appetite isn’t quite back, but the nausea is gone, so I keep eating. I sense Kane watching, his inner alpha probably preening, except … he knows as well as I do what it means.

He picks up a dead leaf. “How long have you known?”

My inner omega pangs. Feeling sorry for Kane. Yearning for the imprint mate hovering by the river.

“I’m not picking a fight.” Kane twirls the brittle stem. “Just want to know.”

Guilt eats into me. It’ll only get worse, the longer I let it. Mindy tried to warn me, but I told myself I was protecting Kane. Suppressing the truth.

Maybe the only person I was really protecting was myself.

Slowly, I look up. “You mean, did I know when I asked you to bite me?”

Kane’s jaw tightens. I sit still, waiting until he’s ready to meet my gaze. I feel his alpha calling me, wanting to hold me, but neither of us are brave enough to ask.

Finally, those ruby reds flick up. I don’t let them go, no matter how much it hurts. I need to see how soft he can be. How trusting. That way, maybe, I won’t have the heart to lie to him ever again.

“Yes,” I confess at last. “I knew. But asking you to bite me—it’s not for the reason you’re thinking.”

His eyes flash. “You don’t want to know what I’m thinking, omega.”

Okay, maybe I deserved that.

Seeing my reaction, he grits his teeth. “I don’t know what I am to you. You just keeping me around for warmth? Fine. You love me?” He swallows. “Doesn’t matter.”

My eyes widen, afraid of what I’m about to hear. “Kane—”

“One way or another,” he cuts me off, “ I’m yours .” His eyes flare. “And I’m gonna bond you to prove it.”

He … still wants to bond me ? I stare at him, speechless.

“Don’t get it twisted.” He scoffs. “My teeth aren’t comin’ anywhere near that pretty little neck of yours until I know you want it.”

“I want it.”

We both stop, the shock on Kane’s face perfectly mirroring my own. I had no intention of speaking the words. No idea they’d come so freely.

Kane sighs, his shoulders sinking. “No, you don’t. You want him.” He indicates toward the river, where Silas is still pacing. Before I can protest, he goes on, “Fine, not you. But your omega? Come on, bunny.” He shrugs. “That’s what an imprint mate’s for .”

He’s not wrong. But he’s also missing an important detail.

Silas isn’t the only alpha my omega wants.

I press off the tree, crawling toward him.

Kane stiffens as I tilt my face up to kiss him. For a second, he melts, the tiniest groan humming on his lips.

“Will,” he growls. “I’m not gonna bond with you just to fuck with him.” At this he considers, tempted, then shakes his head. “No matter what you tell yourself, I can’t replace your imprint mate.”

“Good,” I huff.

He quirks a brow. “ Good ?”

“If anyone has earned the right to be my first …” I sit in his lap, his chest to mine. “It’s you.”

He lets me kiss him again, melting for a few seconds longer, before pulling away. “Does that mean you’ve made up your mind?”

The real question is in his eyes, glistening possessively. Are you going to let Silas bond you?

I sigh. “I don’t think I have another choice.” His face darkens, so I explain, “ I want you. That’s one choice I do get to make.”

I kiss him, breathing him in until I’m floating on cinnamon.

“Please,” I whisper. “Let me make it.”

I understand then, suddenly, deeply, that Kane is all out of power. Maybe his following me over the mountain, sacrificing his life in the wilds, promising himself to me, should’ve given it away … but he really is what he says.

All mine.

With a surrendering snarl, he grips my waist, dragging me closer. My omega sings at the hot bliss of his tongue against mine. Slick gathers between my eager thighs, feeling his member harden for me.

Here, my omega begs. In the trees. In the earth. I’m ready to take my rogue alpha’s lips, his knot, his bond.

Maybe then, at last, he’ll understand. My alpha is not a placeholder for anyone.

He’s mine.