Chapter Thirty-Two
Willow
Laughter. Hands where they’re not supposed to be. No matter how much I fight it, the alpha’s knot won’t come out.
“You’re ours now, princess.”
My own screams sound unfamiliar. I keep trying. Keep searching for myself.
“I’m not going to hurt you.”
Amber eyes find mine. The alpha places his hand on the small of my spine. I can still feel his knot inside me, trapping me, but somehow, it doesn’t hurt anymore.
“All I want … is to keep you safe.”
I don’t believe him. Can’t believe him. And yet, he’s here, and for the first time, I’m not afraid to keep dreaming.
“Will. You awake?”
I start, convinced I’m about to find Silas lying next to me, when Kane’s cinnamon-scented pheromones surge into my lungs. He’s kneeling above me, his eyes bloodshot.
“Alpha,” I gasp.
He drops whatever he was holding to take me in his arms. “Thank fuck.” He breathes in my hair. “You’re awake.”
I don’t realize I’m holding back tears until I hear his voice, and it’s like a dam breaks. What the hell is wrong with me ? Even back in the village, I hardly ever cried—especially not in front of alphas. But lately I can’t go an hour without breaking apart.
“I’m here,” Kane purrs. “Right here.”
Once I’ve calmed down, he explains what happened after I collapsed. Those alphas from the surrounding cave system invited us in. Their omega, Mindy, convinced them she should treat me. They set us up in one of the neighbouring alcoves, where Kane has been monitoring my condition ever since.
“Wow.” I exhale. “You’ve been busy.”
He passes me a bowl of herbs soaked in water. “I’ve had time.”
I frown, sipping. “How much time?”
“Two days.”
I choke.
Glowering, Kane pats me hard between the shoulder blades. “You tryin’ to give me a heart attack, omega?”
I splutter, “Just keeping you on your toes.”
“Been keeping me on my damn toes since the day we met.”
His tone is grumpy, but I see the colour in his cheeks. It must’ve given him a real scare when I collapsed. I wish I could apologize, but I know he wouldn’t hear it. Instead, I take his hand.
His face is stern. “Don’t ever do that again.”
“I won’t,” I promise.
He squeezes my hand like he wants to believe it, though I’m not sure either of us do. After all, we still don’t know what’s wrong with me.
Kane sighs. “I should get Mindy.”
But he doesn’t move. My hand stays in his, and the way he looks at me—like I’m the only thing tethering him to earth—tweaks my omega’s interest.
Gently, I prod, “Alpha?”
Kane hesitates. Finally, gravelly, he explains, “When you fell … everything went dark. I forgot what we were doing here. Hell, I forgot my own damn name. You were gone, and I was nothin’.” He grits his teeth. “I had nothing.”
My inner omega is furious. Snarling at me for leaving alpha all alone. For letting him feel like, after all he’s done, I would suddenly abandon him. I want to scent him, to make him feel safe, if only he’d—
“I hope I’m not interrupting?”
We both turn at the female voice by the alcove’s entrance. A pregnant omega I recognize from the other night peers around, smiling. She’s flanked by two alphas.
Kane growls. “I told you,” he says, “no alphas.”
One of them, lean and scowling, folds his arms. “And we told you, Mindy stays with us.”
“Alphas,” Mindy huffs. “If you don’t mind, I’d like to tend to my patient.”
Judging by their grumbling, they do mind. Quite a bit.
“She’s sick,” the other alpha, a stocky red-head, argues. “Can’t let you get too close.”
He has a point. Though, whatever’s wrong with me, I doubt it’s contagious. This omega hasn’t even met Silas. I doubt she’ll suddenly feel faint and disoriented when she so much as thinks his name.
Those amber eyes from my dream surge into focus, making my insides ache. I double over.
The two alphas bristle. “See?” the lean one says.
“Bunny,” Kane murmurs, holding my face, examining me.
“I’m okay,” I whisper. “It’s not that bad.”
Mindy ventures close, ignoring her alphas’ protests. “May I?”
If she weren’t looking directly into my eye, I might’ve thought she was asking Kane. But I nod, so he softens, and she kneels down in front of me.
“Alright,” the red-head grunts. “That’s close enough.”
Mindy pauses, her hand stretching toward me. Our eyes meet again, a keen tenderness in her gaze.
“All alphas out,” she announces.
Kane’s chest rumbles with a growl he’s smart enough not to let free. Mindy’s alphas start to argue, but she snaps around, glaring, and they pause.
With a short, unhappy look between them, they finally grumble for her to be quick. The lean one tells Kane to scram. He, too, hesitates, but I give him my best reassuring smile. Finally, he rises.
“I’ll be right outside,” he grunts.
And suddenly, it’s just me and Mindy. She sighs dramatically.
“I hope you can forgive my alphas.” She rubs her stomach. “They’ve all been a little on edge.”
“I understand,” I say softly. “Are you—”
I stop, surprised by how quickly my instincts kick in. Where I come from, a pregnant omega is cause for celebration. It’s all us unbonded omegas aspire to. A part of me wants to pry for every detail—how did she and her alphas meet, how many heat cycles did it take for her to get pregnant, how far along is she? It takes all my restraint to keep my mouth shut.
Mindy just smiles. “He’ll be born in the spring.”
God, she read me like a book. “He?”
“I think so.” She rubs her stomach again. “But it’s anyone’s guess.”
She asks to take my hand, so I give it to her, letting her check my pulse. She frowns.
“Mm. That alpha of yours must’ve been scenting you constantly. I can barely make you out.”
My inner omega preens.
“How long have you been feeling unwell?” she asks.
“Uh …” I consider. “A few days, I guess.” Ever since I left the cabin, but it’s been getting steadily worse.
“And your last heat?”
I bristle. “Maybe a week ago.”
She looks like she wants to prod deeper, but holds back, instead asking about my other symptoms. My history. I’m careful how much I divulge—habit, really—and can’t help but note her deepening frown.
“What?” I ask. “You think something’s wrong?”
“You said you drunk a contraceptive tea,” she recalls.
My stomach sinks. Was Kane right? Is that tea really the cause of all this? It could make sense. Psychologically speaking, thinking of Silas makes me think of the tea. Reminds me of the havoc both it, and he, wreaked on my system.
“Can you remember what was in it?” she asks.
“I–I didn’t make it. I recognized some of the ingredients, but I couldn’t say for sure.”
“Your alpha,” she says hopefully. “He’d know?”
If it’s possible, my stomach sinks even deeper, squirming between my toes. “No. He … he didn’t make it, either.”
Mindy regards me for a moment. I’m blushing so hard I can’t imagine what she’ll find, nor do I have the courage to speak the words. Not when the mere thought of Silas sends me spiraling.
Finally, gently, she realizes, “You had another alpha.”
I stiffen. Mindy sighs.
“Are you bonded?” she asks. “I didn’t notice any marks, but—”
“What? No. I–I’m not.”
“Therein lies your problem, dear. When you imprint on an alpha and don’t get the chance to bond, it causes all kinds of trouble. Your omega is at a loss, and she’ll probably keep getting worse, until you’ve reinforced that connection.”
It takes me a moment to process what she’s saying. Everything fizzles into white noise the second I hear that word.
Imprint.
“No,” I blurt out, not sure if I’m interrupting her or not. “That’s not happening.”
Her eyes widen. “Did he … reject you?”
“No! I already have a mate.”
Mindy shrugs. “I have three mates. And only one of them imprinted.”
I blink. “You have an imprint mate?”
“It’s not as uncommon as you might think. Well—” she considers. “It is in the sense that most omegas don’t even meet alphas outside their station. Hoffran and I got lucky. I was serving tables when he walked in.” She smiles. “By the end of the night, we knew.”
“This was … in a village?”
“That’s right. His family was outraged. A high-ranking church official like himself had no place beside a barmaid. So, we left.”
I shouldn’t be so surprised. Even in Southside, all sorts of people deserted to the wilds. I wouldn’t have considered the possibility if they hadn’t. Still, you don’t hear of many success stories once they’re gone. Let alone stories of forbidden lovers starting anew.
“Like I said,” I grit out at last, “I already have Kane, and, imprinted or not, I love him too much to worry about bonding anyone else.”
Mindy sits back, her eyes bright. Only then do I realize what I’ve said.
I … love him?
How she understood the nature of our relationship, so new, so tender, I have no idea. I’m blushing too deeply to question it.
“Listen.” She takes my hands. “Everything you feel for Kane is real. And wonderful. If you want to bond with him, that’s precisely what you should do.” Her look deepens. “But it won’t fix what’s happening in here.” She gestures to my chest—my thudding heart. “Only your imprint mate can take care of that.”
Silas’s words ring in my head. “I’m here to take care of you. ” Did he know, back on that very first night? If he did, why would he ever let me go?
Oh yeah . My inner omega cringes. Because I told him to .
Mindy rises. Instinctively, I move to help her, but she brushes me aside. “Sit,” she says. “Rest. I’ll brew you something for the symptoms.”
“Wait.” I stand anyway, leaning against the wall. “Are you … going to tell Kane?”
Her face softens. “No, dear. My lips are sealed.” There’s a deeper layer to her words, one she doesn’t need to speak. He’s going to find out, one way or another. Better he learns it from me.
I call out a shaky thanks as she waddles off, and barely a second later, Kane rushes into the alcove. He takes my arms, holding me up, his glare demanding.
“So? What’d she say?”
I can’t do this to him. Not after the grueling lengths he’s taken to protect me from Silas—the very alpha whose bite, apparently, I can’t live without. I owe him too much to break his heart now.
“Will,” Kane urges. “Hey. Don’t shut me out.”
“Never,” I whisper.
I stand on my toes to kiss him, willing him to soften, to kiss me back, and love me even half as much as I love him.
Willing him to forgive me.