14. Will

14

WILL

S tella stuffs chicken wings in her mouth as if she hasn't had a decent meal in weeks. And maybe she hasn't. Her face looks thinner than when we met six months ago, and despite the round belly, it seems like she's lost weight.

The baby bump protrudes in a perfect oval lump. I've been around enough pregnant women at the club to know she's quite far along, about six months along.

Which is just about when our weekend fling took place.

Stella's just finished her shift, and we're sitting at a local diner. I watch her stuff chicken wings in her mouth as questions whir through my brain.

But the first one I have to ask: "Is it mine?"

She chews slowly then swallows. I hold my breath waiting for her answer, conflicting emotions running through my chest.

"Yes. "

I let out a long slow breath. I'm going to be a father. The knowledge is a jolt to my heart but not an unpleasant one.

"I thought you were on the pill."

Stella looks down and pushes a thick potato chip around her plate. "I'm not the most reliable person, Will. I must have forgotten to take it. Then it was hectic with Charlie being sick, and by the time I remembered a few days later, I didn't want to take it in case there was already a baby and it did some harm."

She looks defensive, but I'm not going to judge her. Even though the thought of being a father scares the shit out of me, it's also exciting.

"Why did you leave Cleo's? Why did you run away?"

"I didn't run away, Will. This is what I do. I move around places; I was only at Cleo's for a few months. It was time to move on."

She says it defiantly with a brittle note to her voice. Like a woman who's not used to having people around who she wants to stay for.

"But Cleo's family. Does she even know?" I indicate her belly.

"Cleo's not my real family, Will. We were in the same foster home for a few years. We're not real family."

Her voice is small, and my heart aches for this woman. Loneliness reeks out of her and I long to take her in my arms, to show her there are people who care for her if only she'll let them.

"Family is who you choose, Stella. Cleo wouldn't want you to go through this on your own. "

Her bottom lip wobbles, and she swipes at her eyes. "I've always been on my own, Will. I can do this on my own too."

She sticks out her chin and looks defiant, daring me to challenge her. Stella's got some idea in her head that she needs to be independent. Well, that stops right now.

I reach across the table and clasp her hands in mine. "You're not on your own anymore, Stella. I've found you, and I'm not going anywhere."

Her eyes narrow, distrustful, but I carry on before she can protest. "I've searched for you for six months. If you don't want to be with me, then I'll respect that. But spend the day with me first. Let me show you we're meant to be together."

She lowers her gaze, and her voice is quiet. "It was supposed to be a fling."

I squeeze her hands. "Come on. Let's go for a ride."

She sighs heavily. "Okay. But I need to pop home to shower and change out of my scrubs."

If she thinks I'm letting her go off on her own, she's crazy. "You're not going to run?"

"No. I'll give you my address. You can meet me there in an hour."

She tells me the address, and we leave the diner. Stella gets on her bike, and I follow at a safe distance. I'm not risking her running from me again. Not after I've finally found her, and especially now that she's carrying my child.

She pulls up outside a small block of apartments. There's graffiti on the wall and paint chips off the window frames. A rusty gate swings on its hinges surrounded by a lawn that hasn't seen a mower in a long while.

My heart aches thinking about Stella staying here. She goes into an apartment on the second floor, and I wait across the road.

An hour later she comes out, and I pretend I just pulled up.