Chapter 6

six

. . .

Ruby

I glanceddown at my phone and noticed the time. I couldn’t believe the way the morning had gone.

I’d cried in front of River Pierce.

And talked to him like we were friends.

I guess I’d hit my breaking point today. We all had one, and apparently, I wasn’t immune to it either.

“Well, this has been enough show-and-tell for one day, don’t you think? We should probably get back upstairs.”

“One more question.”

“I wouldn’t have guessed you to be a guy who likes this much small talk,” I groaned.

“How would you have guessed me to be?”

I didn’t hesitate because I’d assessed who he was the moment I’d met him. “A wild river.”

He laughed. “Touché. Tell me why you were upset in the elevator.”

I let out a long breath. I’d already shared too much. But for whatever reason, I didn’t feel panicked about opening up to this man. My father clearly loved him, and he didn’t strike me as someone who would tell your secrets. His dark eyes burned into mine, letting me know he wasn’t leaving this table without an answer.

“Being home exhausts me sometimes. I had to pay off Zane’s debt to Sam, which took my tip money for the week. My mother just told me she couldn’t make rent. Again. So next week’s tips will be gone, as well. It’s such a vicious cycle with them, and I can’t seem to get away from it. And then I think you hit a nerve this morning because a lot of what you said was true.” I held my hands up to stop him from gloating. “Not everything. I’m definitely not in denial about who I am. But I was surprised that you read me so well. I did run away from here because I was drowning. But distance didn’t make it stop. It’s a lot sometimes. And the one really good thing in my life is my father. Seeing him embarrassed about not making it to the bathroom put me over the edge. I’m paying off bookies for my brother and cleaning up my mom’s shitty trailer, and I couldn’t even make it to the hospital in time to help my dad. He should have been my first priority.”

“Jesus. You can’t save the world, Ruby. No wonder you’re so fucking exhausted.”

“Have you met my family? Lionel’s the easy one.” I forced a smile.

“It’s not your job to take care of everyone. And Lionel is fine. Shit happens. Well, hopefully not literally for him.”

A loud laugh escaped my lips. I didn’t laugh often, but it felt good. This day was full of surprises.

“Let’s hope not.”

“My point is… he had a stroke. He wet himself. They’ll clean him up, and he’ll get better with time. It’s okay. You can’t be everything to everyone.”

“Wow. That was deep. Sounds like you speak from experience.”

“Nah. I’m all about boundaries. I choose who I’m willing to go out on a limb for. Not everyone deserves that, you know? But Lionel does. Let’s go check on him.”

I nodded and pushed to my feet. “Thanks for the chat. And I meant what I said earlier: If you tell anyone I cried, I’ll kill you slowly and painfully.”

“Maybe I’ll surprise you by keeping my mouth shut. Not everyone is going to let you down.”

His words hit, and a lump formed in my throat.

I was used to being let down, wasn’t I?

We stepped onto the elevator, and I glanced over at him, my eyes scanning the colorful ink on his forearms. “Well, thanks for that. Do we go back to hating each other now?”

“Seems like the natural thing to do.” His lips turned up the slightest bit in the corners. Dark scruff peppered his jaw, and his thick, wavy hair curled at the ends above his ears. “But I’ll know the truth.”

The doors opened, and he held out a hand for me to step off. I looked over my shoulder. “I can’t wait to hear what you think the truth is.”

He walked beside me and leaned in. His lips grazed the lobe of my ear, and goose bumps covered my arms. “I think you like me, Ruby Rose.”

I forced myself to act unaffected. “Keep dreaming.”

“Funny you should mention that. You did appear in my dream last night,” he said, as we approached my father’s room.

I wrapped my fingers around his wrist to stop him from walking in. “What was I wearing? An evil queen dress?”

“No. You weren’t wearing anything. And you looked fucking beautiful. No wonder the professor wanted to keep you.” He winked and stepped into the room, and I stood there, gaping at his back.

This man was definitely a wild card.

I shook it off and made my way over to my father, who was sitting up in his bed. He was dressed and had his sneakers on, looking like he was ready to go. He shook River’s hand and looked up at me.

“What did you say to nurse Betty? She was a lot nicer to me this time.” He chuckled.

“I didn’t say anything,” I said, bending down to fix one of his shoes that wasn’t tied.

“My daughter always makes sure I’m okay,” Dad said.

“Yeah. I’m getting that. Seems like she likes to make sure everyone is okay,” River said, and I refused to look up at him.

I pushed to stand. “Okay. Time for physical therapy, right?”

“Yes. Jesse is coming to get me. You don’t need to stay for that.”

Jesse walked into the room and introduced himself to us. He went over the plan to get my father up and moving on his own soon. I listened and asked a few questions, and every time I looked over, I found River’s eyes on me.

I hated how much I liked it.

I’d never wanted that kind of attention from a man.

But there was something different about him.

I knew it wasn’t a good idea, so I forced myself to look away.

I was here to focus on my father, not flirt with a wrecking ball.

That was exactly what he was. He would destroy me if I let him in. I knew better.

“Is it fine if I come with?” I asked. “I’d like to learn the exercises that you’re doing so that when we bring him home, I can continue them.”

“Absolutely,” Jesse said with a smile. He was about my age, a few inches shorter than River, and muscular.

River’s phone vibrated, and he looked down at his screen before turning his attention to my father. “All right. I’ve got some issues at the office. I’ll stop by after work.”

“Thanks, River. I’ll see you later,” Dad said, moving to stand and placing his hands on the walker.

River nodded, giving me a forced smile before glaring at Jesse, which had me covering my mouth with my hand to keep from laughing.

He was so broody and gruff on the outside.

But I’d seen a softer side.

A kinder side.

I followed my father and Jesse down to the workout room and took one final glance over my shoulder as I watched River turn the corner toward the elevators.

I spent the next few hours watching my father fight his way back to reclaim his life.

When we got back to his room, they brought his lunch in.

“How are things going at the bar?” he asked as he took a sip of water.

“Everything is running smoothly. You have nothing to worry about.”

“I know. But I worry about you. I’m sorry you had to come back here and clean up my mess.”

“Yours is the only mess I don’t mind cleaning up.” I shrugged. It was the truth.

“Yeah? How are things going with your mother? I’m sure she swarmed you once she found out you were home.”

“She and Jimbo are fighting, so you know how she is. Same story, different day.”

“You’ve got to draw the line, Rubes. She’ll just keep taking until you have nothing left to give.”

I nodded. He was the only person who really understood the toxic relationship that I shared with Wendy. Because he’d been there. And he hadn’t drawn the line in the sand either. She’d left him. He’d given her everything, and she’d replaced him.

I knew who she was.

But she was also tied to my brothers.

“She can’t make rent. Zane and Rico live in that trailer. How does one draw the line when it means their family will be out on the streets? She’ll show up at your front door and want to move in.”

“And I’d tell her no,” he said, as he forked some of the noodles and popped them into his mouth.

“And the boys?”

“The boys are grown men, Rubes. They need to get their shit together. You’re telling me between the three of them, they can’t cover rent on that trailer? Come on now. They’re taking advantage of you. And you feel guilty because you’re doing well and they’re struggling. But they make their own choices, just as you do.”

I shook my head. He wasn’t telling me anything that I didn’t know.

With success came guilt. I felt it all the time, but much more now. I’d worked really hard to get to where I was, but I would be making good money now. And knowing how they were living—it bothered me.

“Let’s focus on getting you better, okay?”

“Yes. I’d like to be one less person for you to worry about. So, tell me about this job at the university you’ve been offered.”

I sat down in the chair beside his bed as he started eating. “It’s a good offer. The money is really good. Great benefits. Everything I should be jumping at. I just don’t know that I see myself teaching college kids, you know? I never planned to use this degree to teach others about psychology. I thought I’d be doing something where I applied what I’d learned to help others.”

He finished chewing. “I get that. Then what would be the ideal job for you?”

“Well, originally, I got into this so that I could figure out how to read the people in my own life. How to help them help themselves.” I chuckled because it was crazy that my original drive brought me this far. “I’d love to do something that actually helps people to have better lives. You know what I mean?”

“I think so. But tell me.”

“Well, people repeat their mistakes over and over. Take Mom, for example. Or even Rico and Zane. They do the same things over and over, and they don’t accept the consequences of their actions. They want others to fix the mess. Bandage the choices that they made instead of digging deeper. Wouldn’t it be nice to understand what you’re doing and why you’re doing it so that you can make positive changes for yourself?”

“I could ask you the same thing, couldn’t I?”

“Meaning?” I grumped as I folded my arms across my chest.

“You keep cleaning up the messes they make. You keep doing the same thing over and over, and nothing changes. You’re completely enabling them. So, maybe you need to be taking a deeper look at why you keep doing it.”

Those words hit hard.

“I know. I made the decision to move away, hoping that would help. And in some ways, it did. It was easier to focus on what I wanted to accomplish, and I could only help so much from a distance.”

“But isn’t that the whole point? You shouldn’t have to leave to solve your problems because you aren’t really solving anything by doing that. You’re just running away and dealing with the same shit from there; you just aren’t here to see it. But from where I’m sitting, it’s the same damn thing. And it’s going to eat you alive if you don’t start protecting yourself.”

“When did you get so smart?” I teased.

“Hey, my daughter is a doctor. It must run in the family.”

“I guess it does,” I said, letting his words sink in.

Maybe it was time I practiced what I preached.