Chapter 28

twenty-eight

. . .

Ruby

We’d been paintingfor hours, and everyone was getting exhausted. I was thrilled that my brothers were moving out of my mom’s trailer. It was a change for the better for both of them. My mother had called me, whining that she wouldn’t be able to cover her bills if they left, and I’d agreed to help her out until she got on her feet.

I’d be making more money soon, and I didn’t want her guilting them when they were finally branching out on their own.

Rico had been working at the gym for a few weeks now, and he actually seemed like he’d found his niche. He was training on the side with Romeo, and I was happy to see him feeling passionate about something.

He idolized River, that much was obvious. Rico called him every freaking day, and I told River that I’d tell him to back off, but he said he didn’t mind. I think my brother looked up to him, and seeing as it was the first time Rico had ever been motivated, I wasn’t going to do anything to interfere.

And I appreciated it.

I’d have to do something to thank him.

I stepped out into the garage with two bags of trash as we were just getting the place cleaned up.

“It’s a nice house, right? It’s got to make you feel better knowing they are going to be living in their own home now,” Kingston said as he came up behind me.

King and I had become very friendly. He was hilarious, and he loved razzing his brother as much as I did, so we’d bonded over that. “Yeah. I’ll worry a whole lot less. And honestly, I want to thank all of you for what you did for Rico. Helping him find work and giving him a purpose that he’s never had before.”

“He’s a good guy, actually. And he works hard.” He shrugged. “He’s a big fan of my brother, too.”

I chuckled. “He is. I hope it doesn’t drive River too crazy.”

“I don’t think River would have bought this house if he wasn’t equally invested,” he said.

“What? Bought what house? This house?”

“Fuck,” he said under his breath. “I didn’t realize he hadn’t told you yet. Don’t throw me under the bus because the dude is so on edge lately. I don’t want him all over my ass for something that shouldn’t be a secret anyway.”

“I won’t say anything. Why would he buy this house, and why is it a secret?”

“I don’t know, Ruby. What’s the deal with you two? From where I’m sitting, you’re always together. My brother has never seemed happier. Even when you’re fighting with one another, he’s—I don’t know, he’s lighter. More content than I’ve ever seen him.”

“You probably just didn’t pay much attention when he was with other women in the past. You know he likes to keep to himself.” I cleared my throat because that lump was there again.

“He’s never dated anyone,” he said, holding his hands up to stop me from interrupting that thought. “I know, I know, you two aren’t dating. You’re just hanging out—or whatever the hell you’re calling it. But he’s never hung out with one woman like this. For this long. This consistently. Buying houses for her family members and finding them jobs. He’s fucking invested, no matter what you two want to call this. And yeah, he’s bought homes before. He invests in things that he thinks will make him money. The dude is smart as hell. But this house is different. He didn’t buy it for the investment. Hell, it’s not as much of a fixer-upper as he usually gets. He bought this home to help out your brothers. And sure, he likes Rico, but he sure as shit wouldn’t be buying him a house if he wasn’t your brother.”

My heart raced so fast and loud, I was certain Kingston could hear it. “This is temporary. Neither of us is any good at this type of thing. He doesn’t want anything long-term either. I was a safe bet because I’m leaving. He’s just riding out his time.”

“If that’s what you think, then you don’t know River as well as I thought you did.”

“What does that mean?”

“It means my brother wouldn’t give a shit if you were staying or going if he didn’t like you. If he wasn’t crazy about you. He may not be admitting it to us, or even to himself, for all I know, but we all see it. If River wasn’t all in, he’d have bailed a long time ago. It’s different with you. It has been from the day you rolled into town.”

“We’ve talked about it. He’s fine with me leaving.”

“Yeah? How about you? Are you fine with walking away? Because if you really are, then I’m glad you’re leaving soon, as much as I hate to see you go, Ruby. Because I love having you here. Love seeing you with my brother and the two of you giving one another shit and laughing your asses off most of the time. But my brother has been through a lot in his life. A lot of loss and trauma at a young age. And I know he doesn’t open up easily, but something is different here. We’ve all noticed it. And if you don’t feel it, then it’s best you walk away sooner rather than later. He doesn’t deserve any more pain in his lifetime, you know?”

I couldn’t breathe. His words were sitting heavily on my chest, stealing the air from my lungs.

I do feel it, don’t I?

“I don’t know how to trust someone like that,” I whispered.

“Come on now, girl. You already have. He’s involved with your dad and your brothers. He’s helping you with the contract for your job. You’re volunteering at Fresh Start with the kids, which used to be a dark cloud for him, and you’re bringing all your light there. If you think this is the real deal the way that I do, you’re going to have to take that step. Because he won’t do it. He’ll think he’s holding you back or some shit. You’re the psychology genius; you probably know what the hell it all means. Maybe he makes up excuses to protect himself? I don’t fucking know. But I do know this.” Kingston paused and shoved his hands into his pockets. “River can be a difficult bastard when he wants to be, but that man is the best guy I know. And he’s worth the risk. And he deserves to be happy, just like you do.”

The garage door pulled open, and River stood there, looking between us. “What’s going on out here?”

I didn’t miss the way King’s shoulders stiffened, so I spoke before he could throw himself under the bus.

“He’s trying to convince me that my brothers should have a pool table out here,” I said with a laugh.

“Oh, yeah?” River scratched the back of his neck. “That’s not a horrible idea.”

“Well, we might be in need of a new one at the bar soon, so I’ll let them know if my dad decides to sell the current one.”

“That’s a good plan. You ready to go? Everyone is heading out,” he said, and it hit me in that moment that everything Kingston was saying made sense. River was always checking on me. Making sure I was okay. Even if most of the time he did it in a broody, overbearing way. It was his way of showing that he cared.

“Yeah. I’m pretty tired.” I moved toward him, and he pushed the door open, and Kingston followed me inside.

The conversation was over, but his words were still moving through my mind.

Getting into something with someone with no expectations was very different than planning a future together.

We’d never talked about anything beyond right now. It wasn’t his style, and in many ways, it wasn’t mine. I’d become a pro at guarding my heart.

And loving River was dangerous.

The chances that we would implode together were high.

We were just having fun right now.

What was I going to do? Give up a job that was a once-in-a-lifetime position for one that I didn’t have here? For a man who would possibly never be able to tell me how he felt about me because he was too guarded? The closest we’d ever come to saying anything as far as our feelings go was the rare occasion when we admitted that we didn’t hate one another all the time.

Or the moment when he said that we weren’t nothing.

So, we didn’t hate one another, and we were more than nothing. That wasn’t a strong foundation.

“Ruby, I was telling everyone how pissed you were that I stole your blue sweater before you left for college,” Panda said when we stepped inside, and everyone laughed.

“I never did get that back, did I?” I raised a brow.

“I just wanted to look cool like you. Ruby was always this badass, confident girl from the first time I met her, and the rest of us were just trying to keep up,” she said. Her words startled me because I’d never seen myself that way before.

I’d always felt like I had something to prove.

To myself.

To everyone around me.

Maybe I’d been the one who’d had so much armor surrounding me that I couldn’t see the good that was there.

Maybe I was still doing it.

“Thanks. I hardly think I was a badass, but if the navy sweater made you feel empowered, have at it.” I chuckled as we all walked toward the door.

“Thanks for doing this,” Rico said to everyone, clearing his throat. “We appreciate it a lot.”

“Happy to help.” Demi beamed, and Romeo wrapped an arm around her shoulder.

“But I don’t care how sore your arms are tomorrow. I’ll see you at the gym in the morning.”

More laughter and we all said our goodbyes.

My brothers hugged me tighter than usual, and I quickly pulled away.

Thinking about leaving was weighing on me lately.

River and I made the short drive to his house. We were quiet.

“The house looks good, doesn’t it?” I asked.

“Yeah. It’s amazing what a fresh coat of paint can do for a place.”

We parked in the garage and walked inside. He hadn’t asked if I was coming over. It was just assumed at this point. Because it was what we did now.

How had I let things get this deep?

Go this far?

I was in a full-blown relationship without even realizing it.

I followed him into the kitchen, and he flipped on the lights as I jumped up on the counter, and he poured us each a glass of water.

“I’m happy Rico and Zane are moving out.”

He handed me a glass and moved to stand between my legs. “Yeah. I think it will be good for them.”

“Something you want to tell me about the house?” I peered over the edge of the glass as I took a sip.

“That fucking loose-lipped brother of mine can’t keep his damn mouth shut, can he?”

I chuckled. “Why should he? Why is it a secret?”

“Because I knew it would be turned into a big deal. I didn’t want you to freak out. The house came up for sale, and I’ve been looking for a new property. Your brothers were looking to rent one. It was a win for both of us.”

I nodded. “I wouldn’t freak out about it. It’s very nice of you to do that for them. Hell, you’ve done so much for Rico, and I’m just—I’m grateful.”

“What is that? TheRuby Rose isn’t pissed off that someone did something nice for her?” His voice was all tease as his large hand moved to the side of my neck. His thumb tipped my chin up so my gaze would meet his.

“Calling me The Ruby Rose is just creepy.” I smiled.

“Ah, I’m creepy now, huh?”

My gaze searched his for the longest time, feeling that overwhelming feeling take over again. The lump in my throat was there. My eyes were blinking rapidly as I pushed away the tears that threatened to fall.

“Thank you, Wild River.”

“You’re welcome, Queenie.”

Say something. Ask him how he feels. Tear off the bandage.

“Are you upset that I’m leaving?” I whispered.

He studied me, his thumb stroking along my jawline. “I’m never upset to see you living your dreams. We knew the score when we started this. I’m fine, so don’t you worry about me.”

“You’re probably relieved.”

He nodded the slightest bit. “Are you relieved? You ready to go and chase your dreams and all that shit?”

“Sure.” My heart was beating so loud in my ears that I couldn’t think straight.

“That’s all I need to hear.” He scooped me up off the counter and carried me down the hall to his bedroom.

River was always carrying me around, and normally, if a man wanted to carry me through his home, I would want to kick him in the balls for treating me like a helpless woman.

But when River took care of me, it never felt like that.

It never felt like he didn’t think that I could take care of myself.

It felt like he wanted to worship me, care for me—not because I couldn’t do it for myself, but because he just wanted the opportunity to do it, too.

“You sore from all that painting?” he asked after he dropped me onto the bed.

“Not sore at all.” I waggled my brows.

“How about you let me taste you first? And then I’ll let you ride me into oblivion.”

“How can I say no to that?” My voice was all tease, but the anticipation already had me squirming.

He reached for the top of my jean shorts and unbuttoned the button before pulling down the zipper. He tugged them down my legs, then ran his fingers over the lace of my pink panties.

“I love your fucking body. I love your pink lace panties and your military boots. You’re such a walking contradiction, and I fucking love it,” he said, finding my hands and pinning them above my head. “Keep these right here.”

His words had my head spinning once again.

I love you.

I wanted to say it. For the first time in my life, I wanted to tell a man that I loved him. Because I loved River in a way I never knew was possible.

But saying it would change everything.

Walk away now and no one will get hurt beyond repair.

I closed my eyes as he pulled my panties down my legs. I kept my arms above my head where he’d left them.

His head settled between my thighs as his tongue swiped across my clit, and I gasped. My hand came down to tangle in his hair, and he stopped and looked up at me.

“Hands above your head or you don’t get to come. I want you to feel everything that I’m giving you. I don’t want you guiding me where you want me. I know what you want, Queenie. I want you to trust that.”

I raised my arm back above my head, intertwining my fingers to keep them there, and I gave him the slightest nod.

And River delivered exactly as he promised.

His tongue, his lips, his fingers—it was pure ecstasy.

He knew my body.

He knew my mind.

He knew what I needed and how to please me.

My entire body started to shake. I squeezed my hands together, desperate to reach for him, yet not allowing myself to.

Because I did trust him.

More than I’d ever trusted anyone.

His tongue was pure torture. Moving and teasing me over and over. He slipped a finger in, and his lips covered my clit, and he sucked hard, causing me to arch and buck in response.

He slipped in another finger, and lights sparked behind my eyes.

My lips parted on a cry, and I shattered.

I went over the edge with the most powerful orgasm of my life.

And he held me right there, riding out every last bit of pleasure.

I knew in that moment that I was ruined for all future men.

Because this man owned me.

He owned my body, and he owned my heart.

Two things I’d never planned to give away.