Chapter 13

Chapter

Thirteen

C roft reached for her. It wasn’t yet dark, but he could tell from the quality and position of the light, the sun was going down. All he felt was an empty bed. He sat up, calling her name. Had it all been a dream? Was she not back safe here with him?

“What’s the matter, Croft? I’m right here. Somebody left food outside the door. I think they knocked, and that woke me up, but when I peeked out the door, no one was there.”

He smiled at her. She was wearing one of his western shirts, her hair was tousled, and her skin was still flushed. Any man seeing her would know she’d just left the bed of a man who knew how to provide her with a maximum amount of pleasure. His smile grew broader… with Finn, that wasn’t difficult. She was responsive, tactile, and deeply sensual. He planned to spend the rest of his life plumbing the depths of her carnal response.

“That’s fine, babe,” he said, stretching and sitting up. “I just reached for you, and you weren’t next to me. It was unsettling.”

“Jesus, you’re a sexy beast,” she said, bringing a plate heaped with a steak and what he was sure was Willa’s recipe for smashed potatoes.

“Only one plate? Are you going to make me get up and get my own?”

“No, I thought we could share cuddled up in bed.”

“What an excellent idea. I’m so glad I had the good sense to fall in love with a woman every bit as smart as she is beautiful.”

He watched her body lose its supple languidity and sensed her emotional withdraw from him.

“What is it, Finn? Whenever I talk about my feelings or about a future together, you get a worried look on your face, and your body posture gets tense.”

“I just don’t want you to feel obligated. This has been awfully intense and fast, and maybe we’re just getting caught up in the emotional fallout. Maybe I should leave with Christian and give us both some breathing space.”

“I see,” Croft said, clucking his tongue.

He threw the covers back and swung his legs over the side of the bed. He’d already been erect when he woke but had been willing to let her have something to eat before he took her hard and fast. Apparently, more fucking wasn’t what she needed. That was fine with him. He was more than able to give her all she needed. He reached for the plate and took it and the beer from her hands, placing them carefully on the side table next to the bed. Before she could reach or pull away, he had seized her wrist and dragged her across his lap.

He raised his hand and brought it down sharply onto the full measure of her bottom.

“Ouch! What the hell was that for?” she cried in outrage.

He swatted her behind several more times with considerable strength. When Finn struggled to get away, he trapped her legs with his and placed his non-spanking hand in the middle of her back to hold her in place. Croft laid down a series of blows across her backside meant to leave a lasting impression. This wasn’t the first time she’d questioned his commitment to her, but it was damn sure going to be the last.

“Croft, stop. That hurts.”

“Yeah? Well, so does having you doubt me.”

“Wh-What do you mean?”

“What I mean, Finlay Reid, is you and I are going to come to a meeting of the minds about our relationship. You keep reminding me it’s been fast. I agree, but I think in the best relationships, it happens that way. I think two souls meet, and they just know. Then just now, you think I feel obligated to fuck you. For what reason? Do you think I fuck all the female clients we take on?”

“For all I know, you do,” Finn said, going on the offensive.

“You nasty tongued viper,” he said angrily before taking a deep breath to get his own temper under control. “What have I ever done to make you think I have had any interest whatsoever in any woman but you since we met?”

Croft continued to pepper her quickly reddening globes with harsh strikes.

“It occurs to me, I’ve mentioned on more than one occasion that I love you. However, you have never expressed your feelings for me.”

“Right now, I don’t even like you, much less love you. Now, let me up,” Finn snarled.

She was getting angry. Good. He meant to spank her through that anger, right past her resistance, and into acceptance.

“Not a chance. The fact is I know how you feel.”

“You can’t, possibly. I don’t even know how I feel.”

“The hell you don’t,” he growled. “You know exactly how you feel, but it scares the shit out of you, and you just don’t want to admit it. You think when you admit you love me, you’re agreeing you understand just which one of us is dominant and which one is submissive. I got a hot news flash for you, sweetheart—you’re going to settle down and mind me. And for the record, your big brother said you have a nasty habit of not being completely forthcoming about things. You do that to me again, and I’ll give your sweet backside a taste of leather I don’t think it’ll care for.”

“Stop it,” Finn said desperately.

“No. Tell me you love me.”

“I won’t.”

“You will. Tell me.”

Croft laid into her, increasing the amount of strength he used to inflict each blow to her backside. Finn yowled and began to cry. She wasn’t yet ready to yield, but he had no intention of letting her up or seeing to the need he could feel growing between her legs until she did.

“Give it up, Finn. Say it.”

“I hate you,” she shrieked.

“You say that again, and I will let you up… just long enough to wash your mouth out with soap for lying to me and then take my belt to welt your ass. Now, damn it, tell me you love me.”

“Fine,” she wailed right before she began to cry. “I do. I love you. I don’t want to, but I do.”

He continued to punish her.

“Croft, please, I said it. Please?”

He stopped. When she tried to rise, he smacked her bottom several more times.

“You don’t get up until I say you can. You understand me?”

“Yes, I’m sorry. I won’t do it again. Just please stop.”

Her body had gone completely limp—she had capitulated to his authority. He helped her to her feet.

“You see that corner over where the living area and bath meet?”

“Yes. Why?”

“Because you’re going to go stand there until I tell you differently.”

“I will not.”

“Yes, you will, or I’ll pull you back over my knee and paddle you some more until you decide that maybe, just maybe, doing as I tell you needs to be your default setting. Do you want to go put your nose in the corner or get put facedown over my knee? Makes no never mind to me. What’s it going to be, Finn?”

He watched her struggle with her pride. He knew she wanted to obey, but she had schooled herself to never answer to anyone, much less a man who’d just blistered her ass until it was the color of a ripe tomato.

“Croft…”

“Finn. This is the last time I’m going to say it. Get in that corner, or I’ll make you wish you had.”

F inn read his face, trying to find any indication he wouldn’t do exactly as he’d told her. She seriously doubted she’d ever be able to sit down again, and she was quite certain it would be weeks before he could grasp her buttocks to hold her still while he fucked her. She wanted to throw things at him and storm out, but Finn knew doing so would accomplish nothing more than further provoking him to enforce her submission to his dominance.

Frustrated, she turned and stomped to the corner. She heard him chuckle and threw him a withering look.

“You heard me, Finn. Nose in the corner.”

She wanted to strangle him but did as he’d ordered.

“Face the corner, place your palms flat on the wall, spread your legs, and push your bright-red backside out, so I can admire my handiwork and see how wet you are. And you are wet, aren’t you, Finn?”

“No, I’m not,” she said halfheartedly.

“Yes, you are, and if I ask you again and you lie to me, I’m going to take some of that nice wet slick of yours, coat my cock with it, and fuck your bottom hole before I wash your mouth out with soap and give you another ten over my knee. Knowing that, let me ask you again… you’re wet, aren’t you, Finn?”

“Yes, damn it, and I hate it,” she said, glancing over her shoulder.

“Why?” Croft looked genuinely confused by her answer. “For a woman, being wet is like being hard for a man, just shows your partner you love them, find them sexy, and want to fuck. There are worse things you can tell me, and, frankly, I want to know.”

She spun around. “I’m not doing this. I’m not doing this at all.”

“Finn, I’m willing to make some allowances because you’ve been through hell the last two weeks, but that doesn’t mean you get to disobey me or give me a bunch of attitude. Put your nose back in that corner, get into position, and stay there.”

The conflict within her was raging. On the one hand, she wanted nothing more in life than to be with Croft and yield to him. On the other, the woman who had left her wealthy family and carved out a career as a photojournalist wanted to punch him in the throat, leave this place, and get back to her life. He had no idea what he was doing to her. Or did he? Finn knew before she could confront him with what she wanted, she needed to figure that out.

Croft was right, though. She had been through a lot in the past week or so. When she was with him and he was stroking her to ecstasy, everything felt right. She needed space to clear her head, to disengage from the sensual spell he seemed to have bewitched her with, but she didn’t want to leave. Her need for clarity was clouded by her desire to build a life with him.

Tears welled in her eyes. They weren’t from the pain in her ass, which was considerable, but from the contradictory emotions rampaging throughout her entire being. She could feel the wetness on her cheeks as she began to cry softly.

Croft was immediately beside her, gently turning her out of the corner, and pulled her into the safety of his arms.

“Shh, Finn. Tell me what’s wrong.”

She shook her head but remained silent. He held her close and stroked her back, letting her rest her head on his chest as she cried. Croft made soft, murmuring sounds one wouldn’t necessarily expect from a man like him. He didn’t try to rush her or force anything else from her. When she was finally able to stop crying, he simply wiped her tears away with his thumbs and kissed her tenderly.

Leading her back to the bed, he sat on the edge and drew her into his lap. He pulled the plate of food onto the bed next to him and proceeded to share the meal with her, interspersing bites of food with soft kisses and stroking her in an inordinately sensual and satisfying way.

“Talk to me,” he urged.

Finn shook her head. “I can’t.”

“You can; you just don’t want to. I’m willing to let it slide for a few days, but you need to know we’re going to get this talked out. I’m not sure why it upsets you when I tell you I love you or why I had to force you to say it, but I’m not going to stop telling you how I feel.”

“You don’t understand…”

“How can I when you won’t talk to me? I swear, Finn, you’ve been withholding information from the day I met you. That bullshit is going to stop, and at some point, I’m just going to force the issue one way or another.”

“What makes you think you have that right?” she asked, exasperated with his calm demeanor.

“I’m the guy who loves you, and I want you to be happy.”

“What if that isn’t with you?” she whispered.

“That’s your fear talking, and we both know it. The woman who freed herself from a hostage situation isn’t a woman who lives her life making fear-based decisions. I love you, Finn, and you’d better get used to hearing me say it… and better start believing it.”

Finn wanted to believe, but one too many bad relationships, not only hers but those of others, had made her skeptical. Then there was the practical side of her personality. How was a free-spirited photojournalist supposed to live with a guy whose whole life was based on being in command—a SEAL, a cowboy, and now some kind of mercenary in a business suit? Finn’s whole life had been spent not conforming or following the path others laid before her. She liked who she was and the outcome of her choices. Was she ready to throw it all away for a man who had laid siege to her emotions?

Not knowing what to say or how it might be perceived, Finn initiated a kiss, knowing he would wrestle control from her until he was the one doing the dominating, and she was the one who surrendered.

Croft turned and swung her up into the bed and onto her back.

“That’s not always going to work, you know,” he said as he began to assault her senses.

He leaned over and kissed her mouth while his hand slid between her legs and rubbed her clit in circles, giving her a brief respite as she was close to a climax before reversing the direction he caressed her. Moving her hips in rhythm with his thumb, Finn’s breathing became ragged and labored as her body strove to find completion at his hands. As she started to come, he slipped two fingers in her sheath and pumped them vigorously, causing her to cry out in ecstasy.

Croft silenced her, claiming her mouth with his and using his tongue to stroke and play with hers before releasing it to kiss and nibble down the column of her throat. He let her body start to settle, but before she could recover completely, he stilled his hand and sucked one of her nipples into his mouth and nipped it gently, causing her to take a sharp intake of her breath. He soothed the nipple with his tongue, then sucked again. Finn brought one of her hands up to play with her other nipple. It seemed the more she experienced Croft’s lovemaking, the more she craved. He slapped her hand away and tweaked it with his own.

“You don’t play with what’s mine. I own all of you—tits, clit, pussy, and ass. I’m the one who determines when, where, and how they get used, not you,” Croft growled.

His mouth took possession of her other nipple, pinching and squeezing the one not in his mouth with his other hand. He moved one of his thighs between hers, bringing it into direct contact with her pussy and clit, and allowed her to rub against him. She felt his cock throbbing between her legs and wondered why he didn’t mount her and drive it deep into her cunt.

Croft increased his attention to her nipples, and Finn’s body responded as another orgasm built. He alternated between soft and deep suckling and the occasional nip or pinch. Finn rewarded his attentions by climaxing, crying out for him.

“Jesus, Croft. Fuck me!” she wailed, causing him to chuckle at her distress.

He ran his hand down her body, encouraging her to spread her legs wider as he rolled over on top of her and settled himself in the cradle of her hips. His cock probed to find her slit and once found, penetrated her deeply with one thrust. He had built such a deep need in her, he needed to do nothing more than possess her for her to climax. She gasped and flexed her fingers into his back as she came. Croft moved his hands down to cup her ass and hold her still as he moved against her.

“God, I love fucking you,” he groaned. “Nothing has ever felt better or more right.”

Holding her close, he thrust with more power and slowly increased his speed. He fucked her through two more orgasms before he finally started the rhythm she knew would allow him to finish with her. As he stroked her with long, deliberate movements, he reveled in her response. When they finally came together, he released his cum into her in harsh, short spurts.

Croft raised up on his forearms and looked down into her eyes before lowering his head and raining kisses all over her face. He moved as if he was going to withdraw and roll over next to her, but Finn clung to him.

“Stay,” she whispered. “I need to feel you…”

“What is it, Finn?” He looked at her quizzically.

“I don’t know. I just need to be connected to you…”

“You are, sweetheart.”

“No, physically, emotionally… I can’t explain it. Please?”

“Shh,” he soothed. “I’m not going anywhere. I just don’t want you to have to bear my weight once we’ve finished.”

“You could let me be on top,” she teased hesitantly.

“That isn’t going to happen anytime soon,” he laughed. “Until we get things squared away between us, there’s no way I’m fucking you in anything but male-dominant positions. It’s the easiest way I know to bring home the point of which one of us calls the shots… and it isn’t you.”

“Do you really just expect me to become little Suzy Homemaker?”

“No. I don’t know that you could. Is that what’s worrying you? That you expect me to want you to be something you’re not? Do you expect me to be anything other than what I am or do something other than what I do?”

“Of course not,” she snapped quietly.

“Then why do you think I want you to be something other than who you are? Do you think I don’t know? Remember Kurt, the ranger at the Grand Canyon? He’s not the only one who thinks your photographs should be in exhibits. I get what you do is dangerous. We’re going to need to figure out how you can do what you do—and are damn good at—in a way that won’t give me nightmares. I understand there’s a certain element of danger in what you do, just like there is in mine. My only issue is making sure you come back to me at the end of each assignment, and we build a life together.”

“And that I submit to you.”

“Yes, but just to me. I think the problem you’re having is the idea of submitting to me isn’t as reprehensible as you think it should be. What I need for you to believe is we will work it out. We can make it work for both of us.”

Croft slowly withdrew from her and rolled to his back, snuggling her to his side. Holding her hand in one of his, with the other, he caressed her back from the nape of her neck to her still-heated derriere. The third time he ran his hands down her body, he slid his finger through the crack of her ass to play with her dark rosebud.

Finn tucked her ass but couldn’t get far since she was up against his hard body.

“You will give that to me,” he whispered.

“No, I won’t.”

“Yes, you will.” He chuckled. “You didn’t plan on me spanking you, but we both know that hasn’t worked out the way you thought it would. Trust me, you’ll find my fucking your ass a lot more pleasurable than spanking it.”

“What is it with guys wanting to fuck a woman’s ass? I don’t know many women who actually like it. There are some, I’m sure, but most of the ones I know do it because the man in their life wants them to.”

“I think that’s part of why we want it. For me, it’s the ultimate act of submission—knowing it wasn’t something you initially wanted but are doing, anyway. At some point, I’ll pleasure you there just to prove I can and that you belong to me… all of you. The ultimate gift of your submission or recognition I have it would be for you to offer it to me, either because you’re curious to try or because you want to show me your contrition for something you’ve done.”

Finn waited until his breathing had become deep and regular and believed him to be asleep. The light was fading, and night was taking over. She rolled away from him onto her other side, but Croft moved from his back, pulling her to him until her back was spooned against his front, wrapped his arm around her, and settled back into a restful sleep.