Chapter 3

Chapter

Three

T he past few months had been blissful. Willa was finding it more difficult to resist Mac’s asserting his authority in her life, especially in their bed. He was a strong, attentive, and inventive lover. She’d been fucked in places and in ways, she’d never imagined but had found great pleasure at his hands.

The spankings became more varied and frequent. While she hated to admit they made her incredibly aroused, regardless if he was administering one strictly to ramp up her libido or as discipline when she flouted his authority, the more dominant he became, the more easily she became aroused. Mac was no fool, and she knew he could no doubt feel the shift in their relationship as well. Willa was able to avoid an actual discussion, but Mac seemed content as long as he felt they were progressing in the way he wanted.

He was aware of the power exchange elements in Mandy and John’s marriage. They had talked about how strong and happy their friends’ relationship was and how both seemed to be thriving, but never specifically discussed that aspect of their marriage or how that dynamic might play into their own.

Willa had just returned from a week-long trip with a group of campers, three close friends who had been coming to her for a “girls’ expedition” for the past decade. Willa enjoyed going with them as they were good riders and easy keepers in terms of feeding them. They were happy with whatever she wanted to provide and helped set up and break down their camp each day, even though Willa had repeatedly assured them that wasn’t expected.

Small groups, she handled by herself, but for larger groups, she employed a support team that would move to each evening’s destination, set up well-appointed tents, a cooking/grilling area, and campfire area. Willa took great care to ensure each group who went out with her had the vacation experience of a lifetime—many would book for the following year before returning home.

The Superstition Mountains and their surrounding wilderness were Willa’s playground. She knew this rough country like the back of her hand. Growing up in the area, she’d preferred to spend her time in the mountains and canyons than any designated play area, school grounds, or later, the bar scene.

She had just come up from helping Gus with the evening’s barn chores when the phone rang.

“Reynolds Wilderness Rides,” she said in her most professional voice.

“And they have no idea what a wild ride Willa Reynolds can be,” came Mac’s sexy voice.

“Hey, you! I miss you.”

“I’ve missed you, too. How was the trip with the girls?”

“As always, fun, easy, and lucrative. They’re great tippers.”

Willa had returned the previous day to find his note, saying he’d been called to the headquarters of the US Marshal Service.

“I’m driving in from the airport. If you haven’t started dinner, don’t. I’m headed home now. Why don’t we meet at that Italian place this side of Sedona? You know, the one with the great bruschetta?”

“I can make that work. I’ll grab a shower and check in with Gus, but I should be there in about an hour.”

“Traffic is good, so I might be there ahead of you and will get us a table. I love you, Willa.”

“Sounds good,” she said before hanging up.

Her inability—or unwillingness—to tell him how she felt had become a bit of a sticking point. Mac had begun telling her he loved her shortly after he moved in. While Willa believed him and felt the same, it was hard for her to acknowledge her feelings. That might have been awkward, but for the fact, Mac seemed undeterred by her inability to put into words what she obviously felt. Instead, she tried to show him every day how much she cared.

Willa took a quick shower. Once she had dried herself, she opted to put on a casual ankle-length knit dress with a deep V-neck and a pair of sandals. It was a bit dressier than jeans with boots but every bit as comfortable. After leaving the house, she checked in with Gus, climbed into her truck, and raced off to meet Mac. When she entered the dimly lit restaurant, she inhaled deeply and smiled.

“I wish I thought that was for me,” Mac teased as he kissed her.

“The special must be the clam risotto with bacon and chives.”

Mac smiled. “It must be.”

She kissed him again as he held her chair for her. “You called ahead to see if it was before suggesting we eat here.”

“Not true. I called this morning and asked the chef if he’d make it. I know it’s your favorite.”

“It’s delicious,” she said, closing the menu and putting it on the table. “So, did you have a good trip? Did something come up?”

“I had an excellent trip except for the fact you weren’t with me. They wanted to talk, but nothing bad came up. Do you want to split soup and a salad?”

“Of course. Why did they call you into headquarters?”

“Can we just enjoy being together and at least wait until dinner is served?”

She leaned closer to him. “Yes, but I want to be finished talking by the time we leave.” She lowered her voice to a whisper. “The only thing I have on under this dress is my bra, and I expect to be out of that long before we get home.”

He laughed, arousal creeping into his tone.

“Cowgirl, we don’t live but forty minutes from here.”

She reached under the table, placing her hand on his hard thigh, and giving it a gentle squeeze.

“I know, and I’ve been without for more than a week. Can’t we pull off on that old mining road and spend a little time becoming reacquainted?”

He shook his head. “Nope.”

Willa pulled away, surprised. Mac was usually up for anything that resulted in his getting laid sooner rather than later.

“Why not?” she asked disappointedly.

“Because,” he said, drawing her closer and lowering his own voice, “when I finally have you naked, I plan to keep you that way, and I mean to fuck you long and hard, so it’s best if we’re already home.”

Willa giggled. “Alrighty, then. But I don’t intend to dawdle over dinner, and I’ll race you home.”

“Willa, we talked about you and speeding. I meant it. Get one more ticket and you’ll be facing the same kind of consequences Mandy does. Besides, I had a car service bring me out, so I’ll be riding home with you.”

The butterflies that had settled into a flutter in her belly burst forth into full flight. There was no getting around it—she found Mac’s stern voice and threat of corporal punishment heady stuff. She only wished she didn’t find the actual spankings as arousing. Worse was when he actually spanked her for punishment, then dominated her sexually until she was completely and totally sated and willing to do whatever he wanted. They had never discussed it, and she doubted she would ever share that with him.

He squeezed her hand, then whispered, “If that hand creeps any closer to my cock, when we leave, I’ll find a quiet place to spank that pretty ass while I have you bent over the tailgate.”

Willa could feel the blush rising in her cheeks. She searched his face and realized he was dead-ass serious. They’d stopped one time, and he’d bent her over the tailgate to mount her from behind, but he’d never actually stated he would spank her. She wanted to be shocked and appalled, but she didn’t.

“Yes, Mac.”

He brought her hand up from under the table and kissed her knuckles.

“That’s my good girl.”

She didn’t like that Mac didn’t want to talk. That was her MO. Normally, Mac would talk about anything. She’d never been with a man who was more comfortable with or better able to discuss what he was feeling. She couldn’t help but feel, Mac’s unwillingness to talk did not bode well. They spent the rest of dinner talking only generally about Mac’s unplanned trip and Willa’s latest gig. Finally, they split dessert, then went out to the parking lot.

“Do you want to drive?”

“Yes.”

She threw him the keys, and he helped her into the car, allowing his hand to linger on her bottom as he blatantly looked down the front of her dress.

“See something you like there, lawman?”

“Why, yes, I do, and I’ll be conducting a much more thorough inspection once we’re home.”

He closed her door, joined her in the truck, and headed out onto the highway.

“So, are you going to tell me why you had to go back East?”

“I was going to wait until we were home, but I’m afraid if I make you wait much longer, you’ll become antsy.”

“What is it? Bad news?”

“Not exactly.”

“Okay, now you’re starting to worry me.”

Mac took a deep breath. “They want me to head up the Special Operations Group.”

“Oh my God, Mac. That’s a huge promotion, isn’t it?”

He nodded. “It is, and it’s something I think I’d really enjoy and be good at.”

“I’m so happy for you.” She leaned over and kissed him. “And, of course, I think they picked the right man for the job. When do you start?”

“As soon as possible. There is one small, possible fly in the ointment.”

“What’s that?”

“The position heads up a small cadre of highly trained and specialized field operations guys who are truly the best in the world. The hiccup is the SOG is stationed in Louisiana. It’s about two hundred miles northwest of New Orleans and about thirteen hundred miles southeast of Sedona.”

Willa felt as though someone had delivered a sharp, violent blow to her abdomen and found it difficult to breathe. Suddenly Mac’s unwillingness to talk came into sharp focus—he was leaving her. There could be no other explanation. She wondered briefly if telling him how she felt might have made a difference. Probably not, so perhaps never having said it might not make it hurt so bad. And it was going to hurt… bad.

Gathering herself, she tried to ask nonchalantly, “So, we’d have a long-distance relationship? How often could you come home? Could you continue to work from the house a couple of days a week?”

“No. I’m afraid the job doesn’t lend itself to that. I’d need to be with my team in Louisiana.”

“Could they be relocated to Scottsdale or Flagstaff?”

“No. The SOG operates out of the base there.”

He reached over to take her hand, but Willa shrank into the corner of the cab.

“You’re leaving me?”

“God, Willa, how can you even ask me that? Of course not. I love you.”

“Then what are you saying? I don’t understand.”

“We’re going to have to move to Louisiana.”

“Have to? Your job has nothing to do with me. I have a business here, Mac. A life. You can’t expect me to pick up and move for you.”

“For us, Cowgirl. We’d be making the change for us, and I’m not asking you to give up your business. I am asking you to build a life with me. I figured Gus could run the farm, and Mandy already runs a lot of your operational stuff. Anything Mandy can’t handle, you could do from Louisiana. Then, when you had a trip, you could fly in a few days before you were set to leave and supervise all the last-minute stuff. We can make it work.”

“For you, sure. For me, not so much. You’d have your life and your career, and I’d be what? The little woman waiting at home? Do you know what it took to build my business? I can’t just leave it in the hands of others. Gus and Mandy are great, but it’s been the three of us from the beginning… and frankly, I am my business. People don’t fly in from all over, year after year, to see Gus or Mandy. They come to ride the Superstitions or the canyons with me.”

“It would still be the three of you…” he interrupted.

“No, Mac, it would be the two of them here, trying to do it for me, and me sitting in some swamp in Louisiana while you’re off doing what you want—chasing down fugitives. I’ve never been all that comfortable with what you do.”

“You never said anything,” he said quietly.

“Because I wanted you to have the life you want, to do something that fed your soul. To have what I have, something that’s more than a nine-to-five job. Apparently, you don’t want the same for me.”

“Willa, you’re being unreasonable.”

“Me? I’m not the one who takes a secret meeting, then comes home to say he’s leaving. We aren’t really discussing this, are we? You’ve made up your mind to leave.”

“It’s too good an opportunity to pass up.”

“Yes, it is… for you, I’m sure it’s a wonderful opportunity.”

They rode the rest of the way home in silence. She knew Mac wasn’t sure what to say to make her feel better. There was nothing he could say. He was right, this was something he needed to do, but she couldn’t leave her life to follow him, and they both knew it.

He pulled up in front of the barn. Willa was out of the truck before his seat belt was even unbuckled.

“Willa, wait!”

“For what? For you to leave, then decide it’s too much trouble to fly back and forth to see me if I don’t move with you? Isn’t that what you’re doing now?”

He caught up with her as they entered the house.

“I don’t think it’s that kind of job. I need to be able to leave on a moment’s notice.”

“Then I don’t know what there is to say. You can’t stay, and I can’t leave.”

“You won’t leave. There’s a difference.”

“Is there?” she accused. “You could turn down the promotion. You could choose to stay.”

“I can’t afford to pass up the opportunity. My job is important.”

“My job may not be important to you, but it is to me. I built this business from the ground up with my own two hands. It was here before you entered my life, and it’ll be here after you leave.”

“Willa, talk to me. We can figure it out if we just put our heads together.”

Tears welled in her eyes. “Are you willing to stay?”

He shook his head.

“Well, I’m not willing to leave. We have nothing left to discuss. When do you need to be in Louisiana?”

“Sooner rather than later, but…”

“Then, go. I’ll pack your things and have them sent to you.”

He ran his hand through his hair and swore.

God, he was so beautiful, and he’d made her life so sweet, so much fun, so full of love. But now he was going, and there was nothing she could do about it. She could beg, and she might even have been willing to consider it, except it wouldn’t change anything.

“That’s it?” he asked angrily. “You’re willing to throw away what we have without much thought and even less discussion?”

“Isn’t that what you did? Made a decision without giving me a second thought? Sorry, Mac. You don’t get to put this on me. We’re at an impasse. If you stay, you’ll be passing on a promotion that could make a career you’ve put a lot of time and trouble into. I refuse to be the reason you give it up and end up resenting me. But I’m not willing to abandon my life and my business for you.” Her heart was breaking, and she had to get away from him. “Maybe that’s the reason I could never bring myself to tell you I love you when you said it to me.”

She had to steel herself against recoiling from the shattered look that descended on Mac. She knew she had wounded him deeply—she’d meant to. Better to make the cut clean, so they could both move forward.

Willa walked into the bedroom and stepped into the walk-in closet. She emerged dressed in her favorite sweater, jeans, and boots. Mac was sitting on the edge of the bed, obviously waiting for her.

“I’m going to head out for a few days. Please don’t be here when I return home,” she said softly.

“Willa, don’t do this. I love you, and we both know you love me. Come on, Cowgirl, we can find a way to make this work.”

“Look, Mac, I was never crazy about you being a marshal, and you’ve never been happy with my helping the mustangs. I think the sex was just too good to walk away from without a damn good reason. I think we both need to see this as a nice interlude in our lives and wish each other well. And I do wish you well. I hope you’ll find someone else.”

“Willa…”

“We want different things from a relationship. You want to be in charge, and I’ve never been comfortable with that.”

“Bullshit, Willa. We both know you were always happiest when you didn’t have to be in control. You’ve had to do for yourself all of your life. You learned to let me carry some of your burdens, and more than that, you liked it.”

“Your delusional.”

“And you’re throwing a tantrum because I won’t let you have your way.”

He reached for her, and she backed away.

“Please, Mac. This isn’t easy for me. If you ever loved me, please be gone before I return. Like I said, I can have all of your things packed and sent to you.”

“Willa, I don’t want you out in the wilderness by yourself. I can pack a weekend bag and be out of here in a few minutes.”

“I’m fine on my own. Except for the time I’ve been with you, I’ve been on my own most of my life. And what you want ceased to have any importance in my life when you decided to leave.”

She started to walk away, but he grabbed her by the upper arm and spun her into his body, his mouth descending on hers. She surprised herself by clinging to him and kissing him with a desperation born of pain and loss. He kissed her until she was breathless, then nuzzled and kissed her all down her neck on one side and up the other until he was plunging his tongue deep within her mouth to taste and tease. When he’d kissed her past comprehension, she found the strength to gently push him away.

“I’ll be fine. I won’t go far, but I can’t watch you leave. Please be careful out there, Mac. I know it’s too late and way too little, but I think I always loved you.”

She turned and fled, leaving him to stand and watch her go. She had Gator saddled in record time and only took a bedroll and small emergency pack strapped to her saddle, then checked her rifle, then put it in the scabbard, led the big horse out of the barn, and swung up onto him. Loping away, she hoped Mac would never know how much she hurt.