Chapter 20

Gracie

Four of us set out in one direction while the others divided and tackled other areas. Dan, Rodney, Big Dick, and I were assigned to one team. We"d drawn the short straws to go in as deep as possible, report back on location and then a team would be set up to begin sending water and sand in to help stall the fire from the inside.

Others were working on setting up barriers at the heel and flanks while another unit was working on the head to try to slow any forward progress.

We started out at a fast clip, jogging into the fire in full gear.

Full gear deterred any of us from catching fire. It did not help with the heat. If anything, it made us even hotter.

"We"re getting deep in here," Big Dick said.

We all had wireless communication devices inside our helmets to allow us to talk to one another while fighting a fire.

"Have you ever seen one this big before?" I asked in awe.

"Nope."

"Never."

"Not me," they all agreed.

For the most part, Ravenden didn"t get a lot of fire action. The last week or so had been rare and nerve-racking, but also exciting.

These fires weren't something I"d wish on anyone, but I wasn"t disappointed to have a little action either, until now.

This was going to devastate our area.

Just thinking of the displaced wildlife and all the birds that were going to die or be forced to relocate made me want to cry. I couldn"t even let myself think about that right now.

Instead, Ryan's face crossed my mind.

Not now, I tried to warn my raven.

I needed to concentrate and focus. Thinking of him was definitely not going to help with that.

Gia had psyched me up to go after him, but the call had come in before I could act on that. Now it was going to have to wait, and I had no idea how long this one would take. Could be days or even weeks.

At a certain point, a fire became such a natural disaster that we literally had to turn it over to Mother Nature and pray for the best. I really hoped that wasn"t going to be the case here.

It was still early enough that we had options. Setting up fire breaks and barriers was a start. Teams were doing that on the perimeter.

"Everyone stop and check your oxygen tanks before we proceed," Dan advised.

We all stopped and did as we were told. Mine was almost entirely full. Big Dick's only had sixty percent. The others were somewhere in between.

"We"re all good," I confirmed.

"Okay, let"s keep going then," Dan ordered.

We walked for a bit in silence, but it didn"t last long.

Big Dick finally broke the silence. "Gracie Lou, I feel like we are walking in your element. It"s going to make me sing."

"Not again," Dan complained.

"I mean it," Big Dick warned. "I"ll do it."

"You know he will," Rodney said with a chuckle.

"No," I started to protest, but it was too late.

"She"s just a girl and she"s on fire," he began as he belted out the lyrics to Girl on Fire by Alicia Keyes. And then he started to dance. When he got to the chorus, he stopped and turned full diva. "She"s walking on fire."

"I think we all are," Dan reminded him.

I laughed. "You"re both idiots."

"This girl is on fire."

"Enough already. If we don't get moving, we"re all going to be on fire," I reminded them.

Switching gears, he started singing another song, this time by Fall Out Boy. "Hey young blood, doesn"t it feel like our time is running out? I"m going to change you like a remix. Then I"ll raise you like a phoenix."

"Hey, that"s not even funny," Rodney complained. "Not all of us can be raised like a phoenix, right Gracie Lou?"

I groaned, not even bothering to respond.

"Are you fools going to just hang out and goof off with your little karaoke night or are you actually going to work?" Clarence asked over the radio.

"Party"s over guys. Time to get serious here before someone gets hurt," Dan said.

"Rodney, watch out, go to the left a bit," I yelled over the roar of the fire.

"She"s right, Rodney. Y"all need to settle down and refocus out here. Fun and games are over," Dan said.

We were deep in the middle of it all, approaching the point of no return.

There is a point in a forest fire where we no longer have the option to shift and fly back out. That was about fifty yards back.

I"d never been in a fire this massive before. It was mesmerizing. We weren"t even to the ignition point yet.

It was hot as Hades.

"I think we should turn back," Big Dick said.

"Don"t look at me. Chief put Dan in charge," I reminded him.

I knew Clarence considered me too much of a risk for leadership. I pushed myself and those around me too hard at times. It had always bothered me that he thought that. I was a great firefighter, and I was capable of rational decision making. I also didn"t mind taking risks when I thought they could be beneficial to forward progress.

A limb cracked near us and fell to the ground, spreading ash our way.

Four of us were on this unit and even I could admit that Dan had pushed us a little too far into the heat.

It was beautiful being surrounded by all the dancing flames but also intimidating, even for me.

Once in my rookie year I"d been caught in the middle of a controlled burn that got out of hand. It had spread quickly and without a barrier it could easily have spread into a full wildfire like this one if we hadn"t gotten on site as fast as we had.

I'd rushed in ready to prove myself and my foot had gotten caught under a branch. I"d gone up in flames, but when I resurrected as my raven, it had been in the middle of the fire exactly where I"d perished. My bird caught on fire, and I"d died again. And then again and again.

On my fifth resurrection, I came to just in time to be doused with the water hose. I hadn"t been happy about, but I was so grateful to be out of the loop of death that I didn"t even complain about it.

I shivered despite the heat.

I never wanted to go through something like that again.

"It"s kind of beautiful in a deadly way, huh?" Rodney said.

"Just don"t forget the deadly part," I reminded him.

"Says the woman who can"t die," Big Dick teased.

"I have word that Andrew and Guffy secured the flanks. Chief says this is heating up too fast and we should pull out. The head is burning quickly, and he"s had an offer from a jumper team to come in and assist," Dan explained.

"It hasn"t spread enough for that, has it?" I asked.

"I don"t know, but if not, they sound like it could be a real possibility."

"Should we fall back then?" Rodney asked.

"Yes," Dan confirmed.

The four of us started to drop back in the direction we"d come. It didn"t take us long to realize that was a mistake.

The wind shifted.

"Do you see this?" I yelled to the others.

"Stay together as a team," Dan instructed.

"What the hell is happening?" Big Dick asked. "I"ve never seen a fire do this before."

"The wind is coming from the wrong direction. It"s pushing the heel towards us," Rodney noted.

"That"s going to push the head right towards town. But the wind was blowing to the south," I argued. "Where is this northwest wind coming from?"

The battle of air that we were seeing around us was not a normal environmental occurrence.

"Holy shit! It"s a fire devil!" Big Dick screamed.

He and Dan turned to run, but Rodney froze.

I"d never seen or experienced a pyrogenetic tornado like this before. It was the fire devil, firenado, the ultimate fire storm. People called it different things, but the stories of those who had survived one were both rare and epic.

As I stood there in awe watching it begin to swirl and dance around us, debris started to lift then pelt us with sticks of fire and other burning debris. I was mesmerized.

Rodney screamed.

My heart nearly stopped.

"Rodney! What"s wrong?"

"Something hit my oxygen tank. My monitor is showing a steady drop. I"m loosing air, Gracie."

"Come on, we"ve got to get you out of here."

"What"s going on?" Dan asked.

"His tank"s been hit. It's dropping fast, Dan. He"s not going to make it back out like this."

"Rodney, you"re going to have to double time it back."

"Double time it? I can barely even see five feet in front of me. I"m so turned around that I"m not even sure which direction to go."

"I can lead you out," I told him.

But only ten yards into our retreat, he started to freak out when his oxygen meter hit twenty-five percent.

"It"s dropped over fifty percent already. I"m not going to make it out of here. Leave me behind and save yourself."

"Big Dick, get back here. We"re going to have each take a side and let Gracie lead the way. We have to move quickly or he"s going to run out of oxygen in his suit."

That worked for another twenty yards before Rodney started gasping for air. We could all hear the warning alert on his suit.

Dan froze, causing us all to stop. He looked terrified. No one wanted to lead a team that lost a member in any fire.

"He"s going to make it out," I told him.

"Yeah, we need to just keep moving," Big Dick said, but his voice told us he didn"t actually believe it.

"I"m not going to let him die," I said as I started to remove my own tank and helmet to swap with him.

"Gracie, no," Rodney cried.

"Listen to me. This is our best chance to get us all out of here safely. You just have to swear to me that you won"t leave me here. You"re going to have grab my bird and double time it back or else . . ."

I shuddered at the memory of being stuck in a death loop from hell. I certainly didn"t want to relive that in the middle of burning woods all by myself.

"Or else what?" Dan asked.

"Or else I"ll hunt you all down and peck your eyes out for abandoning me in here. The smoke is too thick to fly."

"It"s too thick to breathe," Rodney argued. "It"s suicide. I won"t let you do it."

"I"ll survive, but it is too thick for me to get myself out."

"She"ll just keep dying and being reborn until the fire dies out," Big Dick explained to them.

I bit my lip and nodded.

It was my biggest nightmare.

"I don"t want you to have to go through that again for me."

"Then I won"t, as long as you just grab my bird and take me with you. I won"t allow myself to shift back until we"re safely there. Being in my feathers gives us all the best chance."

"What if you catch fire in your feathers, Gracie?"

"Dan, we don"t have time to debate this. Hold him down and remove his broken gear. And if I catch fire in my feathers, then I just die and rise again. It"s no different than in human form. It just happens a little faster."

"Less to burn," Big Dick confirmed for them.

I nodded.

Dan continued to protest as we made the swap.

I pulled my helmet off and my skin began to blister almost immediately. I could feel the burning sensation, but I knew it didn"t hurt me the way it did others.

"We have to make the swap quickly. It"s too hot out here for him to handle it long."

"You"re doing great, Gracie Lou," Big Dick encouraged.

As we were starting to disconnect his helmet, Rodney ran out of oxygen.

He gasped and stared to panic. In his fight to get it off, he pushed us away.

"Calm down," Dan ordered, but it did nothing to help.

"Hold him," I yelled.

He was too panicked to get the helmet off himself. Still, he fought them when they tried to remove it.

I stepped up and kneed him in the groin as hard as I could. It didn"t really hurt him through the thick suit, but he dropped to his knees on instinct allowing the others to do what they needed to do.

I grabbed him by the shoulders and shook him. "You"re okay, Rodney. I"m not going to let you die out here. Just stay calm. It"s almost over."

His instinct was to gulp in air the second his helmet was removed, but this only landed him with a lung full of smoke and ash. He coughed and sputtered. A blister began to form on his cheek, and he screamed in pain as Dan and Big Dick shoved my helmet onto his head and reconnected the oxygen.

It took him a minute to calm back down and realize he was safe, but I could relax some knowing he was.

The air was hard to breathe and even though I wasn"t on fire, my body was still sweltering from the heat.

"I"m going to shift now so that if I do catch fire the transformation will be faster," I told them, grateful that we hadn"t removed either of our radio systems in the process and I could still talk to them.

"I"ll stay behind with her and make sure Gracie gets out of this," Big Dick said.

"No. That should be my job. My team. My decision," Dan argued.

"I"m fine now," Rodney confirmed as oxygen flowed to him once more.

"We stay together."

I nodded and then started to shift, but it was too late.

"Shit! I can"t shift until I transform."

"Keep moving," Dan said.

"No," Big Dick argued. "I"m begging you. Take Rodney and get him to safety. She has to stay put until the full transformation occurs."

"He"s right. Go. We"ll be okay."

"I"m not leaving you!" Dan yelled.

"What the hell is going on out there? Dan, check in."

He hesitated before responding as they all just stared at me in horror. I knew my skin was already on fire, but I was still in my suit, making it more difficult.

I started to remove it.

Dan shook his head and began to freak out.

"I"m already on fire. The suit is just slowing the process."

"Damn it, Gracie. Do not get out of that suit," Clarence ordered.

Dan took a deep breath and this time he nodded.

"It"s too late for that, Chief. We had a situation."

"What the hell do you mean a situation?"

"You"re going to have to wait and read it in his report, Chief. Right now, Dan is busy doing his job," Big Dick said.

I smiled as everything around me went up in flames.

The darkness and peace surrounded me giving me some reprieve from the heat. My lungs were restored, and I knew I would rise in perfect health once more. Hell, by the time I got out of here I might just have to set myself on fire just to heal from this mission.

I mentally cringed thinking of Ryan. He wasn"t going to be happy about this. But I was at peace knowing this would work and Rodney would be safe.

Despite what he thought, I wasn't being reckless or cavalier or any other fancy words he might throw at me. This was a calculated decision for survival in a shitty situation.

We always talk about worst case scenarios on the job. Well, Rodney just experienced one of them, and we all knew that if I hadn"t made this sacrifice then he would already be dead out here.

A spark of light hit me, and I knew my transformation was nearly complete.

"Gracie?" Big Dick said as I stretched out my wings.

I nodded my feathered head, and he swooped me up into his big arms and then surprised me when he rolled me into part of my suit. It would add several extra pounds of weight for him, but also mean I might not have to face another transformation.

Surprised I hadn"t thought of it myself, I realized even if I had, I never would have asked them to do that.

"Don"t worry. You"re still a lot lighter than dragging Rodney"s ass out of here," he assured me as if he could somehow read my mind.

The smoke was thick and hard to breathe, but the guys were able to pick up the pace and soon we were out of the worst of it and heading to safety.

As the air became more breathable for me, I knew we were all going to be okay.