Chapter 19

19

CHANCE

X ander let her stay and take pictures. She asked him questions about the book we were reading. Xander tended to get sidetracked when a beautiful woman was involved.

By the time we ended our meeting, the library was dark. Nancy, the woman I saw the first day of our meetings, was there to walk us out and lock up behind us. I didn't ask her where Marigold was because I suspected she was at the theater with Scarlett and wanted nothing to do with me.

I couldn't blame her. I was a jerk. And I wasn't ready to talk to her because I didn't have anything else to offer her.

Eli walked with me to my truck. "The girls are working late tonight at the theater. Want to come over to the lodge for a drink?"

"Sure. Why not?" I wasn't scheduled to work, and I hadn't received information about any concerning situations.

We drove to the lodge, and I walked inside with him. At the bar, he ordered us drinks, and we sat on the end so he could see the room.

"I'm planning to take Scarlett on a surprise trip in a few days. Once the play is over. She needs a break."

I nodded, pleased Scarlett had Eli in her life. "She'll love that."

"I asked Oliver to be in charge of the lodge. Can you stop by here and there to make sure everything's okay security wise?" The bartender delivered our drinks, and Eli tipped him.

"Of course."

Eli clicked his bottle against my glass. "I appreciate it."

"Anything for a friend."

Eli shifted slightly so he was facing me. "I'm getting reports that you're being downright surly at work."

"Surly, huh?" Carol had mumbled something about me being grumpier than usual.

"It's a nice way of saying everyone thinks you're an asshole."

I chuckled without any humor. "That's fair."

Eli remained serious. "So what's the deal?"

I let out a breath. It would be nice to have someone to talk to in this situation. "I've been seeing someone."

"No shit?" Eli asked, because I never talked about women. "Someone from out of town?"

My jaw tightened. I wasn't sure how he'd take the news I was dating a mutual friend. "Not exactly."

Eli shifted in his stool. "Someone in town." At my slow nod, he continued, "Someone I know?"

"Yes." I took a long pull of my water, hoping it would soothe my dry throat.

Eli's brow furrowed. "Who is it?"

I took a deep breath. "Marigold."

Eli was quiet for a second. Then he asked slowly, almost as if he didn't quite hear me, "Marigold. Scarlett's friend?"

"She's the only Marigold I know." She was one of a kind in every way. I'd been lucky to have the short amount of time I had with her.

He leaned close and hissed, "Why would you get involved with her?"

"Because I like her." I ground my teeth together.

"But you're not interested in anything serious, and that's all Marigold wants. Hell, it's what she deserves." Eli must have felt protective over her because of Scarlett.

"I know she does."

"Why would you start something with her when you have no intention of getting serious?"

"I didn't intend for this to happen. It just did. We spent more time together, I realized I liked her, and I was attracted to her. Then she became an addiction. I wanted to see her every night, and I couldn't think of a reason not to."

Eli shook his head. "You weren't thinking obviously."

"I followed my feelings for once. I did something that felt good. You and Scarlett are so happy, and I wanted something for myself."

Eli tipped his head. "Marigold is the kind of girl you marry. She's a forever kind of woman. You don't dick around with someone like that."

My stomach rolled. "I never wanted to hurt her."

Eli's expression was grim. "But you did."

"One night, she was upset about a conversation with her parents, and I was there for her. It felt good. But I made a promise to myself that work comes first. Things were getting too serious with Marigold. What if she needed me, but I couldn't be there for her? It was the exact situation I wanted to avoid, hurting someone that was important to me."

His brow furrowed. "So you broke things off?"

"Not exactly. I took a few days to think about it, and things got busy at work. Two weeks have passed, and we haven't talked about it."

Eli sucked in a breath. "Two weeks without telling her what's going on?"

I nodded miserably, my shoulders slumping from the weight of my actions.

Eli ran a hand through his hair. "Fuck. I can't believe you did that. When Scarlett finds out?—"

I winced, no longer sure I should have talked to Eli about this at all. He was obviously loyal to Scarlett. "I wanted to talk to you because I don't know what to do."

Eli sighed. "How do you feel about her? Is it casual or something more?"

"I think I might be in love with her." It had to be what these feelings were, swirling in my chest. I hated leaving her that morning, and as much as I tried to bury myself in work, she was never far from my mind. "But I'm afraid it's too late to talk to her."

"It's never too late to tell her how you feel. But what she does with that?—"

"I'm not sure I can go to her until I figure out how to balance work and her."

"Would you be willing to walk away from your job if it meant happiness with Marigold? Because I'll tell you I'd give this up to make Scarlett happy. She's all that matters." He gestured around the room.

Could I walk away from the position? My dad practically groomed me for the job. It was my destiny. Could I step back and let someone else take on that role? Then I thought about what it felt like coming home to Marigold, creating a life with her. Sharing my home with her, watching her walk down the aisle to me, and finally, holding our baby. "I want her."

"You need to talk to your parents. They're the reason why you think you can't have both."

"I think you're right." I did need to talk to my parents.

"I'd do it all over again if it meant always getting Scarlett in the end. She's the prize, the package, my whole damn world. Nothing matters without her."

A thrill ran through my body. That's how I felt about Marigold. She was everything, and I'd walked away because I was scared. "I hope I'm not too late."

"I don't know. She's been hurt like this before. She might not be quick to forgive you."

"We never really talked about the future because I was quick to shut it down."

"You owe it to yourself to explore this with her. You deserve to be happy. I always thought your vow of celibacy was ridiculous anyway. You're not a martyr. You're human, just like the rest of us."

Had I been acting like a martyr? I held myself to a different standard than everyone else. That was messed up, and what example was I setting for other people? You can focus on a job but nothing else? I'd always prided myself on being a good example in the community. What if I wasn't?

I drank the rest of my water. "You're right."

Eli smirked. "Of course I am. I'm your wiser best friend."

"Don't push it." I was grateful to be living in my hometown, working my preferred job, and sharing my life with my friends, family, and hopefully, one day soon, my dream girl. Because when I thought about going on without her, the future seemed bleak.

T he next morning, I called Mom and told her I was coming over for breakfast because I had something to discuss with them. I was positive they had no idea what was coming.

I found them in the kitchen, breakfast on the table. There was eggs, ham, and fruit. I kissed Mom, then sat down. "This looks great, Mom."

Mom didn't waste any time getting to the point. "What's going on? It sounded serious."

I sighed as they served themselves, then handed me the plates. "I'm in love with a girl."

Mom's eyes widened, but Dad remained silent. "Who is she?"

"Marigold."

"I didn't know you two were interested in each other," Mom said in a disbelieving tone.

"I didn't see her as anything other than Scarlett's friend until recently. We worked together to keep Scarlett here and then with our book club."

Mom nodded as she dug into her eggs. "You got to know her better."

I nodded. "It turned into something I never expected."

"What do you need from us?" Dad leaned his elbows on the table, his full attention on me.

I looked at Mom. "I saw what you went through with Dad's job, the strain it put on your relationship, and I vowed never do that to another woman."

"So it's not about your hours or the danger in your job?" Mom asked.

"Dad was absent for dinners, couldn't make games. I want to be present for my kids."

Dad leaned forward. "Listen, I never regretted anything. I was there for you kids and able to work at the same time. You never felt neglected, did you?"

I was quick to shake my head. "Not at all. I just worried that Mom did."

Mom twisted the napkin in her hand. "I worried for his safety, but I never wanted him to stay home with us twenty-four seven. His job gave him purpose, just like mine did. We wouldn't be the people we were without our jobs."

"So you never wished he didn't work as much?" I wanted to make sure I understood what was going on, because I'd based my life story on this perception of my parents' life.

"Not like how you mean. I wouldn't have married anyone else. Your father was it for me." She touched his hand, and they exchanged a look filled with emotion.

"Would it be fair to Marigold to contemplate a life with her when I have such a demanding job? I might not always be able to put her first."

"What matters most is your intention. If you treat her like a queen and always put her interests above all else, then you'll be fine. You can delegate things at work. For the record, I never approved of getting those updates on your phone. You tense every time a message comes through. You need to trust your deputies to handle it."

I blew out a breath. I suspected that I was holding on too tightly at work, and here was my confirmation, from the man who'd done the job.

"Your role can be a bit more hands off. You don't have to be present at every call. The world won't fall apart."

I pursed my lips. "I want to do a good job."

"A good manager knows his employees' strengths and puts them in positions to do their best work."

I nodded. "I have to learn to delegate and let go of the control."

Dad nodded. "That's right."

I picked up my fork, feeling better about balancing everything.

"Is this thing with Marigold serious?" Mom asked.

"I messed up. I took some time to think about things but didn't talk to her. Now it's been two weeks. I'm worried it's too late."

Mom patted my hand. "Talk to her. Tell her what's been going on. You have a huge heart, and I'm sure she knows that."

"I never wanted to be the guy that hurt her." Not like her parents.

Mom pulled her hand away. "Remember, it's what your intention is that matters. Follow that up with some action and words, and I'm confident Marigold will hear you out."

But I wanted so much more. I wanted to come home to Marigold every day. I wanted to share my life with her. Everything was brighter and easier when she was part of my day. I wanted to parade her around town as my girlfriend, with the town gossiping about when I'd put a ring on her finger. I wanted marriage, kids, everything I hadn't let myself think about.

We finished eating, and Mom was clearing the plates. "Do you have a plan?"

"I need your help." I just hoped it wasn't too little too late.