Chapter 15: Lennox

Chapter Fifteen

Lennox

B ear’s low chuckle fills the air as he moves both hands to my ass. Even the sound sends a shiver down my spine. My head is foggy, my vision is hazy, and I feel like I’m high, but if he’s not appalled, then I’ll keep rambling about how incredible he is.

It’s frustrating to have to stretch to meet his mouth, but I’m hoping other positions will make it easier. After this, we can try again with him on top.

My pussy feels stretched to capacity. It’s not just his girth that’s going to be a problem—I’ll be able to acclimate to that, with a little practice—but he’s also really long.

Size is subjective, but he’s got the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. I would love to be able to take his knot, so my cervix is going to have to take one for the team.

Bear growls and uses his hold on my ass to shove me deeper down his shaft while bucking up into me. My tits ache almost painfully with every bounce. The farther he works inside of me, the more embarrassing the sounds slipping from my lips become.

My insides feel like they’re burning. The hot water wasn’t too much when we climbed in, but now it’s unbearable.

All I know is, Bear is mine.

His scent, mingling with my own, has my nose obsessed. I need to smell us together for the rest of my life.

I ramble, telling him that, but it’s so slurred I’m unsure if he can make out my words.

“Look at you,” Bear growls. “You’re actually taking my cock. I’m so fucking proud of you. Goddamn, you feel like nothing I’ve ever experienced. Watching me disappear inside you bare…”

My instincts preen in response to the praise. He’s making me feel incredible, and I’d like to do the same for him. I bounce on my knees, and his crown lodges somewhere around my diaphragm. I’m sure that’s physically impossible, but the pain makes me sure he’s rearranging my insides.

“Please, bite me.” I hear myself moan. My instincts don’t want to risk him getting away. “I need you to bite me…” The incoherent rambling goes on as I beg, plead, and demand a few things that don’t even make sense.

“You don’t have to worry about that.” He chuckles ominously. “You’re mine now. We better hope you don’t change your mind. You could run, but I’d never let you truly escape.”

A shiver runs down my spine. There’s something about the dark promise in his words that lights a fire in my insides.

Everything is foggy, making it difficult to focus on anything, except the way his skin feels brushing against mine. He pulls me even closer until my clit rubs his pelvis on each buck of his hips.

I might be on top, but he’s the one in complete control. I’m too far gone to the haze to do anything but keep myself upright.

“Don’t run. I’d hunt your sexy little ass down, and you wouldn’t get away unscathed…” He curses under his breath, pulling me down on his length with force. He’s so hard, and he only seems to grow longer and thicker. “There’s no way I could stop myself from digging my teeth into your soft flesh.”

“I already said I’m fine with that,” I huff.

His pec flexes, and my mouth waters with the thought of tasting his salty skin.

I strike, biting into his muscle and running my tongue over the indents left with my teeth.

Bear slams so deep inside me that it seems to steal all the oxygen from my lungs.

“You’ve gone and fucking done it now,” he snarls. His cock swells, and it feels like a real possibility that he might rip me in half. A second later, my system transforms the stinging agony into pure bliss that starts in my clit and radiates out through my body with staggering force. “I’m gonna fill this greedy little pussy so full of my cum, it’ll be dripping out of you for days. You hear that, little one? You’re gonna be all messy with my cum.”

“Ohmigod,” I sob, tugging my hand from his shoulder and slapping his mouth with my wrist. “Bite me, Bear!” It comes out as a whine before a long groan.

I’d normally be more concerned with looking sexy during our first time. If not that, I’d definitely be a little uncomfortable with the fact I just slapped him with my wrist while demanding he bite me.

Euphoria blasts its way through my body as my core contracts over his throbbing cock.

“Fuck me. I swear that’s the bottom of your pussy,” he growls against my skin.

He’s not wrong.

All thought bleeds away as his teeth dig into my wrist. His cock jumps, spilling hot cum with each pump of his hips. It’s overwhelming to feel his scent flood my senses. It could be a millisecond, or possibly minutes later, that the bond clicks into place.

Bear is still riding out his orgasm. Feeling his pleasure while I’m coming down from my own seems to jump-start the cycle all over again.

Even the warmth of his tongue as he laps at his bite is suddenly a major aphrodisiac.

He pulls his hands to my face; one tilts my chin up, and the other cradles my skull.

“You’re a dream. An absolute fucking gift that I assure you I’m going to cherish for the rest of my life.” His sincerity radiates in the bond, making me even more melty inside.

Bear is straight-up dangerous to my heart. And that’s probably a good thing, considering he’s stuck with me for life.

Bear carries me out of the shower and carefully dries us both off. I’m not sure why I’m suddenly so shy, but I spend more time examining his teeth print on my wrist than I do looking him in the eyes.

I hope he understands that I didn’t mean to pressure him into anything, but I am really happy.

“Arms up,” he says, patting my hips.

I comply.

He drops a soft T-shirt down my arms and over my head as he tugs my hair out of the tie. It cascades down my back, making me realize how wet it got in the shower.

We also didn’t use a condom…which never registered until right this very second.

“I have an IUD,” I blurt out. “I got tested after…” I grimace and finally finish with, “Thorne.” I swallow thickly. “They were going to make me do all the intake testing again at The Exchange?—”

Bear clears his throat. “It’s been a whole lot of years since I’ve been with anyone. My last test was negative?—”

“So, it sounds like we’re good.”

He nods.

God. I feel like this was the most awkward time ever to have this conversation, but I’m thankful for the bond. It gives me complete confidence that what he’s saying is true.

Bear doesn’t bother with a shirt, but he does tug on a pair of dark gray sweats.

My eyes widen when I catch sight of the intricate tattoos crossing his back. They only accentuate the lines of his muscles.

He tosses the towels on a drying rack and turns back to face me. “Ready for bed?”

My head bobbles up and down of its own volition.

“Come on.” He holds an arm out for me, and it feels a little like a lifeline.

I walk straight into his bare chest, and he leads us out of the bathroom and into the pack bedroom. He doesn’t stop until we’re right in front of the bed.

The irrational fear that he’s going to leave me alone washes over me from nowhere.

He’s not going to, right?

God.

I think my childhood screwed me up worse than I ever knew. My parents bonded during a heat. It was rushed, and it’s always been clear how much my fathers resented my mother for it. Like it’s solely her fault, and they had no choice or free will.

Bear gently moves me aside and pulls back the plush comforter before nodding to the mattress. “Climb in, little one.”

He doesn’t sound angry, but that might come once he realizes he’s legitimately tethered to me for life.

My body snaps into motion, and I scramble to crawl onto the bed.

My jaw falls as Bear turns and walks away while pulling his hair from the tie he put it in to shower. A hollow pit forms in my gut before he’s even to the door.

I fall back against the pillows and breathe through the urge to cry.

He could have at least kissed me goodnight if he wanted to sleep in his own bed with Shera.

The lights flick off, but the door doesn’t open and close. A few seconds later, the bed dips as Bear sits on the edge.

“I’m going to need a little more space, but you’re welcome to lie on top of me once I’m situated,” he says, running the backs of his fingers over my cheek.

My face burns as I scoot back to make room for him.

I completely misread that situation.

I wish I knew why my mind always goes to the grimmest possibility. Part of it comes from being consistently let down.

Brooklyn and I didn’t have a great home life. She left North Carolina before I did, and things were tough for her in New York too. I was just too focused on my own stuff to notice.

My high school boyfriend got a scholarship in California. Up until the week before he left, he swore he was going to bring me with him. It sucked to be left behind so easily.

Then the same thing happened with Thorne.

Bear tosses his arm on the pillow above my head and nods to his chest. “I’ll be happiest if you’re touching me.”

My heart pounds as I try to feel him out in the bond.

It dawns on me way too late.

I haven’t been blocking any of my thoughts or feelings. I’m sure he got an up-close-and-personal view of my self-esteem issues.

His head tilts, and I wiggle until my head rests on his arm. He reaches over, grabbing my top leg and bringing it to rest on his pelvis.

“I’m sorry,” I whisper, moving my hand to run through the few hairs on his chest. “I panicked.”

“I know I’m not much to look at, but I will make up for it in other ways?—”

I gasp, pushing up to lean over his chest.

“Oh, God. No, please don’t think that. I’m extremely attracted to you—physically and emotionally.” My hair falls over his chest as my head shakes. My anxiety must have triggered his own perceived shortcomings. If I’m not honest with him, he’ll lie here all night, thinking it’s something it’s not. I exhale heavily and go on. “My dads blame my mom for tricking them into bonding. To this day, I don’t know why they bother staying together. Bonds can’t be dissolved, but they can be chemically eased. They aren’t happy.”

Bear’s arm that I was lying on lifts until his hand is on my ribs, and he pulls me back down. “That sounds complicated.”

I nod, snuggling my face around until it finds the comfiest spot. “I’m sorry that I rushed things between us, but please don’t think my anxiety had anything to do with you.” I wrap my arm around his chest, giving him a squeeze. “I’m quite fond of your exterior. You’re hot as hell, Bear. Don’t doubt that.”

He pulls me even closer as his chest starts to vibrate with a ragged purr that makes my inside warm and fuzzy.

“You’ve seen Rush. Our entire lives, if a woman talked to me, it was to get information about him.” He does his best to block his discomfort from the bond, but it still spills through the link.

It makes me feel guilty that I have access to his thoughts and feelings outside of what he chooses to share, but I don’t know the bond well enough to understand how to shut it off.

If that’s even possible.

“Those women have no idea what they missed out on,” I say, trying to find a way to comfort him.

“I love Rush. If I was ever going to end up in a pack, I wanted us to be packmates.”

“I can see why that would be hard.” I run my fingers over his chest. “My parents, teachers, even friends compared me to my sister when we were growing up. They’d wonder why I couldn’t just shut up and sit still. Or tell me that if I’d stop fooling around and concentrate, I could be as smart as Brooklyn.” I scoff, shaking my head. “Only, I’m dyslexic. I didn’t read basic sentences until I was in sixth grade.”

“Jesus Christ,” Bear says, holding me even tighter. “Your parents never realized?”

“Nope, my sister is the one who finally caught on.” It makes my chest ache. I’ve always been envious of how easy everything came to Brooklyn. And she’s actually a really great sister. “The school had me evaluated, and I was diagnosed with mild ADHD and severe dyslexia. Only, we didn’t have health insurance, so I got the extra tutoring the school provided, and Brooklyn spent hours at the library, picking up any books she could find. She used a bunch of tricks to help me learn to focus on the bigger words, and my brain helpfully fills in the smaller ones out of habit now.” I frown, running my fingers over the vibration of his purr. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to make that about me. I was just trying to share a story of my own personal experience to let you know I understand how complicated sibling relationships can be.”

“I understood perfectly,” he murmurs, kissing the top of my head. “Now, if I can ask you to do something for me?”

I nod.

“No more needless apologizing.”

“Sorry,” I whisper.

My eyes clench closed as my face burns.

This is why people think I’m stupid.

“Okay, we can work on that as you get more comfortable here.” Bear runs his huge hand down my side as his chest rattles with his purr, and it’s very relaxing. “Let’s change topics. Tell me how you feel about Rush.”

My chest gets tight.

Rush is attractive and easy to be around, but I can’t stand the thought that Bear might believe I was using him to get to his brother.

My shoulders bounce as my mind races, trying to figure out what to say.

“I wouldn’t mind it if something were to build between the two of you,” Bear says, like he can read my mind. No, he’s probably following my emotions in the bond. “And not because I’d selfishly like to keep my brother close by. I know he would treat you with the respect you deserve.”

“I like Rush. He’s easy to be around.”

“Good, so if something happens there, you’ll know it won’t bother me.” He stretches to kiss the top of my head once more. “Now, let’s get some rest. You’ll need to focus on setting up your nest tomorrow. And if you need me, I’m right here.”

“Thanks, Bear.” I snuggle closer, focusing on the sound of his ragged purr. “That thing is next-level playing dirty. Even the vibration against my cheek makes me warm and fuzzy.”

“You’ll be able to take advantage of it any time you’d like from now until forever,” he rumbles.

Holy shit.

That’s going to take some getting used to, but in the best way possible.