5. Reid

5

REID

M ackenna (8:27am): Good morning, Reid! Just a heads up, there are some large branches out on the road. I cleared what I could but the bigger ones were too heavy for me. Let me know if you need any help cleaning up your property, ok? Also, thanks for keeping me company yesterday. It really helped take my mind off worrying. And you were right, the animals are all okay. x

It's been an hour since Mackenna texted me, and I still haven't replied. Texting with her yesterday during the storm was…okay, fine. It was nice. But in hindsight, I don't think it was such a good idea.

Because now there's this thing that exists that didn't exist before. A back-and-forth that can only be a distraction.

I frown at her text from this morning, reading it for the third time. That little x at the end of her text makes my chest twist with discomfort. What is that? A kiss?

Fuck me. I can't have her texting me kisses.

I shove my phone into my pocket and grab my keys. The jagged edges bite into my palm as I close my fist around them. As I step out of my apartment, my boots squelch against the doormat that's still soaked from last night's storm.

Half an hour later, I'm driving past Mackenna's sanctuary, keeping my eyes straight ahead. Sure enough, shortly after I pass by her place, there are several huge branches obstructing both lanes.

I get out and drag them out of the way, cursing under my breath at their weight. My hands are coated in grit and pine needles when I climb back into my truck and put it in gear. As I arrive at my property, my gut plummets at the sight of the storm's aftermath. Part of a massive fir tree has broken off and smashed up the corner of the house, leaving a gaping hole.

I spend the next several hours clearing away debris, securing a tarp over the damaged part of the house, and checking for structural integrity. It's annoying work, but at least it's an outlet for my inner frustration over this whole Mackenna situation.

It's fine if I don't text her back. Actually, it's better if I don't. It'll establish a boundary. She needs to know that she can't be texting me all the time.

Stop thinking about her.

Seriously.

Stop. Thinking. About. Her.

After cleaning up the storm's destruction, I grab my sledgehammer and pick up where I left off with the demolition work. I swing and smash and destroy until I'm exhausted to the bone. By then, the sun is setting, the last slivers of daylight fading fast, the interior of the house growing dimmer by the second. I double-check the tarp that's covering up the smashed-up corner of the house, then leave for the night.

The headlights of my truck spill warm light over the road as I drive away. Without thinking, I glance out my side window as I pass by the sanctuary. String lights glow from the buildings on Mackenna's property, giving the whole place an unexpectedly charming feel.

I pull my gaze away. Focus on the road. Think about what I'm going to make for dinner. But even as dog-tired as I am, I don't have much of an appetite. I haven't all day.

Back in my apartment, I shower off the grime and grit, throw a frozen burrito in the microwave, and eat it on the couch. There's nothing good on TV. Just the same boring shit, the same commercials. It's grating. I turn off the TV, letting silence fill the room.

I sit there for a long time, silently staring off at nothing. Every so often I hear a noise from one of the apartments around me, or someone out on the street. But mostly I'm just alone with my thoughts.

I think about the last several years, how focused I was on taking on as much work as I could so I could build up my savings. I think about the loan that my brother Jake offered me, which I turned down because it didn't feel right to take his money, even if it was borrowed. And how, afterward, Jake said to me, You really like to make things more difficult for yourself, don't you, Reid?

At the time, I thought my brother was just offended that I didn't take him up on his offer. But maybe he had a good point. If I'd taken his money, I would have been done building a house by now. I'd be living the life I've long envisioned for myself.

Ah, well. It's too late to change things now. Things are how they are. Eventually, I'll be done with the renovation. Life will be good.

And Mackenna will still be next door.

I exhale a long breath. My eyes fall to the couch cushion beside me, where my phone sits. I pick it up, tap the screen, and let my thumb hover over the messages icon.

Instead, I open a browser tab and type in the name of the sanctuary. The top search result is Mackenna's sanctuary, and when I tap on the link, it takes me to a small but nice-looking website.

I don't know why I'm bothering to look at it. I don't want to look at the ambassador profiles, or read about why wildlife conservation is so important, or learn about visiting opportunities for the public. And yet here I am, slowly scrolling through every page. I read through the entire damn website, and when I'm done with it, I tap on one of the social media icons at the bottom of the website, which shoots me over to her profile.

A hundred thousand followers. Jesus. She really has that many people following her online? A protective ache hits my chest. I don't do social media, but I know there's a lot of harassment and toxicity in that space, and I can't stand the idea of Mackenna being subjected to even a single inappropriate comment.

Not that she's incapable of standing up for herself. Still.

I click on one of her posts, which is about some baby squirrels she was rehabilitating. My chest settles when I see a flood of positive comments on the post. Mostly, people are cooing over how cute the tiny squirrels are. There are also some questions about how she's taking care of them, which Mackenna has responded to.

The last comment that catches my eye is someone saying, You r such a good squirrel mama! I bet u will be good with real babies too.

Mackenna's reply is, Thank you :) I hope so!

Suddenly I'm picturing Mackenna cradling a newborn baby in each arm. In my imagination, she gazes down at the twin babies, then looks up at me, her face radiating pride and pure joy. There's no question that she'll be a good mother. She has that natural warmth and maternal instinct.

Something strange fiercely ripples through me, a foreign feeling. I don't know what to make of it. I tap my phone to go back to her feed and scroll down, soaking in the other photos she's posted. Most of them are of the animals she's caring for, or of improvements around the sanctuary grounds, but she's in some of these other photos, too. Always looking so damn pretty. Fuck, those curves.

I'm trying to scroll further when an alert pops up, demanding that if I want to keep scrolling, I have to sign in to my account—an account that doesn't exist.

It's enough of a wake-up call to remind me that what I'm doing right now is nothing but foolish. With a hard exhale, I close the tab and throw my phone aside.

I spend the next two weeks unwaveringly focused on the house. I finish opening up all the interior walls, get the rest of the kitchen and bathroom tile torn out, rip out the cabinets, remove all the flooring, clear out all the debris. What's left looks skeletal, unrecognizable from its previous dilapidated state, and when I stand back and look at it, I see the promising start of a new home.

I'm in the middle of marking the ground for one of the rooms I'm expanding when I hear a vehicle out on the road. I look up and see a van driving past my property, its side painted with a logo of a veterinary clinic.

Was that van in a hurry? Or was I imagining it? I frown as I look off in the direction of the sanctuary. With as many animals as she's got over there, there's bound to be an emergency now and then.

Well, if there's a problem, the vet will do what they can. It's not like I could be of any help.

I return to my work. I try not to wonder what that speeding veterinary van was about. But, later, when I see it driving past in the opposite direction, I can't stop thinking about it.

Despite my resolution to stay away, I go over to the sanctuary.

When I arrive, Mackenna is walking out of a shed with a bucket in each hand. She looks at me curiously as I approach, setting down the buckets and wiping her hands on her hips.

"Is everything okay?" I ask. "I saw the vet come and go."

She nods. "She was just doing some routine checkups. Everybody's good. Well, one of the owls has a minor eye infection, but it's nothing serious." She smiles. "That's why you're here? You were concerned about the animals?"

I feel like an idiot. The van wasn't rushing. I was imagining it. "Just wanted to make sure there wasn't an emergency. That's all."

"That's kind of you." She takes a breath. "How's it going? It's been a while since I've seen you."

"It's going fine. Just been working. You?"

"Same. There's always more to do."

Should I apologize to her for going silent after all those texts? It feels like I should, but…fuck. I don't know. Maybe it's better left untouched. Boundaries and all that.

"Since you're here," she says, "would you be interested in a tour?"

"A tour?" I echo.

"Yeah. I didn't get much of a chance to show you around when you were here before. You only saw a small part of the property. So I was thinking you might like to see the rest of it."

I'm not. But…ah, hell. She looks so excited about it. If it would please her, what's the harm in it? I'm already here.

"All right," I say. "But can we keep it short?"

She brings me over to Daisy's enclosure first, to show me how well the new fence has been holding up. Daisy chitters excitedly, scrambling down a tree to come over and greet us. As much as I haven't liked the little troublemaker, I've gotta admit, it's sort of nice to be greeted with that much enthusiasm.

From there, Mackenna shows me the macaws, the owls, and the reptiles. I recognize many of them from her website, but there are a lot more animals than I expect. When we get to a large enclosure full of squirrels, I find myself asking Mackenna if they're the ones she had as babies.

"They are," she says, curiously peering at me. "How did you know that?"

I shrug. "I saw your post about it."

A smile lifts her lips. "I see."

"So are these guys going to become ambassadors, too, or…?"

"Nope. They're going to be released back into the wild. Actually, I was planning on doing a soft release today. Would you like to do the honors? All you have to do is prop open the enclosure's door."

I glance at the door she's referring to. "You just want me to open it? That's it?"

"Yep. That's it. The squirrels will venture out at their own pace. Letting them make the transition on their own terms is a lot less stressful than abruptly dumping them somewhere out in the wild."

"Right. Makes sense." I make my way to the enclosure's door and undo the latch. When I pull open the door and get it propped open with a rock, a few of the squirrels look over with curious eyes, but none of them bolt out.

"How long does it usually take for them to leave?"

"It depends on the individual animal. Some leave within minutes. For others, it can take hours, or even days." She smiles at a squirrel that's coming closer to the open door. "Hey, sweetie. Are you ready to explore the world?"

The squirrel hesitates, then tentatively crosses the threshold. Then, with a sudden burst of energy, it dashes away, disappearing among the trees.

Mackenna laughs with joy. I watch her as she looks out at the trees where the squirrel disappeared. Am I imagining it, or are her eyes a little misty?

A few weeks ago, I didn't understand any of this. Her passion for the animals baffled me. But, somehow, I'm starting to get it. She's not doing any of this for herself. It's all part of something bigger. It's all for the good of the world.

I didn't think she could be any more beautiful to me, but I was wrong.

Mackenna blinks away the dampness in her eyes and turns to look at me. "Should we resume the tour?"

"Sure," I say. "I'd like that."

She shows me the foxes next, which she tells me are a bonded pair. As if to prove the point, the foxes are currently curled up together at the base of a large tree in the middle of their enclosure. When we approach, one of them lifts its snout to look at us, but then nuzzles back against its partner.

"These two were both born in captivity in a zoo that ended up not being able to take care of them," Mackenna tells me. "They aren't able to survive out in nature on their own, so they'll be here for the rest of their lives. I've tried to give them as good of a home as I can, but obviously I wish I could give them the kind of life they were meant to have."

"Wicky and Hazel, right?" I ask, remembering the ambassador profiles on her website.

Mackenna grins. "You've been doing your research."

"I figured I should know what other wild animals might show up on my property." I nod at the fencing in front of us. "Do you need me to reinforce this?"

"I doubt it. You're the construction expert, though, Reid. What do you think?"

"Looks solid to me. But I also don't know how resourceful foxes are."

"I think we're all good. Thank you for offering, though."

"Sure." And then I find myself saying, "If there's anything you ever need fixed or built around here, just let me know."

Mackenna raises an eyebrow at me. "You really mean that?"

"I wouldn't offer if I didn't mean it."

"Well, that's very generous of you. I promise I won't take advantage of your kindness."

There's a weird feeling in my chest. It feels like something turning. Or maybe opening up. Falling away.

"Take advantage all you want," I say. "As long as I get cookies out of it, it's all good."

She half-laughs, half-scoffs. "Oh, that's part of the deal? I have to bake you cookies?"

The edge of my mouth lifts into a smile. "Unless you're milling the flour by hand, I'd say it's a pretty good deal."

"Fair enough. For any future work you do for the sanctuary, I agree to bake you cookies, in a quantity reflecting the complexity of the job. Do you have any allergies or aversions I should know about?"

Fuck, I love the playful way she's looking at me right now. I would lean in and kiss her, if only it wasn't for…what? All the excuses I've been telling myself? Because let's face it. They're all pitiful excuses. I've been getting in my own damn way. The age difference, the neighbor thing, the belief that she's too pretty for me or too different than me…

…none of it truly holds weight.

My desire pulls me toward her, the space between us shrinking. As I move closer, the gleam in her eyes grows deeper.

"No," I say, as I slowly dip my mouth toward hers. "I'll eat anything you make for me, Mackenna."