10. Porter

It's only beenthree days, but I'm not happy I've only gotten Storm to be calm while on a rope for all of five minutes. I don't know how I got so lucky so quickly, or what it is that has him so spooked, but he clearly doesn't like feeling trapped that way, and he's incredibly skittish around people. I'm not a fan of roping the hoof to get mustangs to lie down. So I'm trying it my way unless it becomes a necessity.

I'm sitting in the dirt inside the pen with him now. None of the other horses are out, and the other cowboys are all doing other things, but every spare moment I've got, I've been sitting with him.

He starts snorting and kicking up dust, and I turn to see Pixie coming inside the gate. "Stay back. You shouldn't be coming in without anyone knowing with a mustang like Storm. Wild horses are unpredictable. It's a good way to get yourself hurt."

"I know," she says like she's an adult instead of a ten-year-old kid. "I only came in because he's on the other side of the pen and you're in here. Mr. Bishop says you can speak horse and they listen to you better than anyone he's ever seen, so I figure that means I'm safe."

I huff. "If I speak horse, how come I can't keep Storm calm on a rope yet?"

Pixie sits beside me. I don't have much experience with kids, and I'm not really sure how to act around her. She makes me feel a little itchy, like I'm gonna catch being a kid from her just from getting too close.

"You'll get him," she says.

"Where's your daddy?" He's… Honestly, I'm not sure how I feel about him yet. I don't trust him. I can't say why. We've barely spoken, but I get the sense he doesn't like me.

She shrugs. "Don't know. Wade came outta the bunkhouse to find you for dinner, and I said I'd tell you it's ready."

I nod but don't have any plans on going inside yet. I was hoping to get a little closer and have another talk with Storm, but I'm not sure how that's gonna work with the kid here. "Don't'cha got anything to do besides sit here and bug me?"

She laughs. Who in the hell is this kid? "You don't like kids?"

"I don't know what to do with kids."

"You don't gotta do anything with me," she says just as Storm starts making a fuss again, kicking up dirt and huffing.

I look up and see Sully making his way over. "Jesus Christ," I groan. "What is this, a party?"

"Just wanted to see what the two of you are doin'," Sully answers.

"Well, I was trying to get some alone time with Storm, but that doesn't seem like it's gonna happen."

There's a whole ranch for the two of them to do whatever the hell they want, yet they have to sit here with me?

"Why do you just sit in here with him?" Pixie asks. "It don't feel like you're doing much."

"So he gets used to being around me…and knows I won't hurt him and that I'm not going anywhere. It's like a socializing thing. Every once in a while I get closer, talk to him." I've been working with horses most of my life, and yet a few minutes with Pixie and she has me second-guessing myself.

"She's giving you a hard time," Sully says to me, then turns to the kid. "Go easy on him."

"What'd I do?" She bats her eyelashes like she's innocent when I think she's anything but.

"She's full of mischief, just like you."

"I'm not full of nothing," I argue, and the two of them start laughing. As annoying as it is, I have to bite the insides of my cheeks so I don't do the same. I don't want to think they're cute or funny or whatever it is they're going for, but I'm finding it harder than I should to keep my emotions shut down. Sometimes just looking at him makes me want to forget all the hardships between us.

"We're gonna have a bonfire tonight." Sully reaches over and flicks my leg. "You gonna hang out, or sit in the bunkhouse and sulk?"

"Probably sit in the bunkhouse and sulk," I answer honestly. There's no point pretending I'm something I'm not.

"I don't remember you being this boring."

"I'm not boring," I argue.

"You just said you'd rather sulk than have a bonfire," Pixie points out. She and Sully both snicker again. I'm not liking these two-on-one odds.

"No one asked you," I grumble at her, just as I hear Sully's momma yelling that dinner is done.

He turns to me. "You wanna go in and eat with us?"

I tense up. He used to always try to get me to eat with them when we were kids too. I tried my hardest to refuse, but sometimes they'd ask my momma, who would make me go. She said they were kind and we had to show them we appreciated it. I didn't know how to sit in their house, at their table, and eat their food. "Nah, Big Jimmy cooked."

"If there's anything left by now," Pixie says, and I swear, she's like an adult in a kid's body.

"If not, I'll figure it out." I don't know how to handle all these people trying to take care of me. Makes my head spin and my skin feel too tight.

"Come on, kiddo. You can eat with us tonight," Sully tells her, clearly knowing I'm not gonna change my mind. I'm surprised he gave up that easily, but now we're just boss and employee, so I guess he realizes that's a line he shouldn't cross.

"Hope to see you tonight." Sully tips his hat, the two of them walking away.

I wait until I can't see them anymore before I stand. Storm is watching me, and if I'd been paying attention to him instead of Sully, I probably would have seen him watching them too. The frustrating man always gets inside my head.

I take a few steps closer to Storm, who immediately starts huffing at me.

"You don't have to be afraid of me. I don't like people much more than you do. We've got that in common, the two of us." He settles down some but keeps his eyes on me. I'm aware of him the whole time. I don't think he would hurt me, but you never know. "You probably think I'm just like that…trying to socialize you, the way they try to socialize me. I can't believe Sully thinks I'd go have dinner with him and his family."

I keep my voice soft and conversational, like Storm and I are a couple of buddies having a chat, as I take a few more steps closer.

"I guess it's not really fair that I want them to leave me alone, when I don't do the same for you, but I think you'll like it here if you give it a chance. Take it from someone like me who doesn't have a home—not really. This isn't a bad gig for you."

I'm close enough now that I can reach out and touch him. Storm blows out a couple of breaths, the hot air hitting me, and I wait.

"Yeah, I know. It's hard not being angry at the world. I'm not one to talk." Slowly, I raise my hand and rest it on Storm's neck, then give him some rubs. He lets me, and damn, it makes my blood sing, makes me feel like sunshine is coming out of my pores or something.

We still haven't been able to get a saddle on him. Before that, I need to get him halter broken, but for tonight, for now, this is enough.

I spend a good twenty minutes out there just petting and loving on Storm until he starts to get anxious and it's clear he's had enough of me.

I make sure the gate is closed tight when I leave and head straight for the bunkhouse. The crew is still there, but the pans are all empty. Pixie's daddy is here, even though they don't live on the ranch, and I figure it's because of the bonfire Sully told me about.

"I saved you a plate." Wade points to the microwave.

"Thank you." I tug it out without warming it up. I've eaten a whole lot worse things than cold food in my life. All the guys are sitting around the table, playing cards, so I take my plate over to my bed and start shoveling spoonsful of meatloaf and mashed potatoes into my mouth.

"You want in on the next game?" Bulldog calls over to me, but I shake my head. His forehead wrinkles in disappointment, and I get why. The guys on a ranch are like family—or hell, at least like friends. They sure as shit don't keep to themselves the way I tend to. "You gonna at least come hang out tonight?"

I shake my head to that too.

"You think you're too good for the rest of us?" Randy looks my way, and I feel the hair at my nape rise.

"Nope," I answer simply, unwilling to pay him much attention. It feels like that's what he's looking for.

"That's enough." Wade's voice is firm and steady, Randy breaking his ice-blue gaze on me and returning to the game. Everyone listens to Wade around here. They respect him. That's just the way it works.

I finish eating, grab some clothes, then go shower. I stay in there longer than I need to, and by the time I head back into the bunkhouse, it's empty.

I look out the window and see the bonfire is already going. Everyone is sitting around, some with a drink in their hands, laughing and talking while Wade plays his harmonica.

My gaze finds Sully and holds. Jesus, the man can wear a pair of blue jeans, the fabric slightly loose but tight enough to show his thick thighs and round ass. I thought I was gonna die the first time I fucked him, thought that if there was a heaven, it was the feel of being inside someone's ass. I busted my nut too fucking fast, but I made up for it afterward. Don't matter how much ass I've had since, none of it is as good as his.

"Fuck." I rub a hand over my face. Just boss and employee, just boss and employee. I need to get this shit outta my head.

I try to ignore the twinge inside me, urging me to go out, have a drink with everyone, shoot the shit and play my guitar. Just the thought makes my chest tighten. I've done that at other ranches over the years, spent time with the other hands, partied and gotten drunk with them, fucked some of them too, but those ranches weren't the Sullivan Ranch…and those men weren't Bishop Sullivan.