4. Zain

FOUR

zain

W hat the fuck was wrong with me?

I'd come here with a plan. And yet one look at the girl I'd been willing to do anything to get, and I couldn't carry it out. She was light. Pure, unfettered light. How could I tarnish that with my darkness?

But I wanted to. I had to fight every base impulse not to take her, to claim her, to make her mine down to her very soul. To control her entire being so I could ensure she could never escape from my grasp.

Except then she smiled .

Not at me. But I couldn't shake the thought that I wanted it to be. A grunt forced its way through my chest.

Staring down at the scrap of paper I had in my hands, I frowned. I needed a cell phone now. Though I wasn't sure how I was expected to know how to use the damn thing.

I could still feel her lips against my cheek, the way she'd leaned up on her tiptoes to be tall enough to reach. She was still too short, and I'd had to bend down to meet her. She smelled sweet, floral, citrus, and sugar, a scent I'd never found so intoxicating before. It knocked me off my feet, how my body sang with rightness the moment I'd laid eyes on her.

Fuck. Who was I? I wasn't a bumbling fool, ready to drop to his knees at the first sight of a woman. This was insane. It was biology, basic instincts, telling me she was mine.

I'd found her.

Never mind that I'd originally sent Damien to do the same, and he hadn't brought her to me.

I'd found my queen myself. Leaving the demon realm was a risk—it always was—but I'd been careful. If any demons had followed me, they hadn't made their presence known, so I figured I was in the clear.

Luna was nothing like I'd imagined, and yet she was everything .

When she'd come walking my way in the bar, her eyes had sparkled with determination. It had filled me with hope. But there was no recognition in her eyes.

Did she not feel our bond the way I did? There was no sign she felt anything . I growled at the thought. She wasn't a demon. Of course, she wouldn't feel the same.

What had I expected? That I was going to show up here, whisk her off her feet, and bring her to the demon realm with a snap of my fingers? I could have. I was powerful enough that it was possible.

The idea swirled through my head. Going back in there now. I'd played a part tonight, and I knew it. What would she think if I showed her the real me?

As much as the thought appealed to me, I didn't want to force her to do something she didn't want. I wanted her to choose me in the same way that I wanted to claim her. She might have been destined to rule by my side, but that wasn't enough.

Dammit, Lilith. I hated when she was right .

Cloaked in the shadows, I stood across from her apartment, watching as the light switched off in her apartment.

I needed to get back. That was the excuse I'd given to pull away. To not take her mouth in mine, to kiss the soft, pink lips that had been calling my name.

Growling, I pulled my eyes away, hating to leave but knowing I needed to.

Just a few more minutes, I thought to myself. Just so I know that she's safe.

"Well?" Talon was leaning against the pillar of my room as I teleported back. "Did you find her?"

"Mhm," I answered with a grunt, closing my eyes as I pictured her sweet face. Those bright green eyes. Her perfect porcelain skin. How she'd lit up when I'd called her beautiful. How much my senses had been screaming at me to kiss her, take her, to claim her as mine.

But I'd controlled those primal urges. It wasn't because I didn't want to. It was that I knew once I'd had her, I'd never be able to let her go. Demon biology didn't work like that.

"And?"

"And what?" I crossed my arms over my chest, giving him my best scowl.

He gave me a smirk like he knew something I didn't. "You didn't bring her back with you."

"Of course not," I grumbled. Not yet .

Despite what my brother thought—what the entire court thought, for that matter—I didn't enjoy being an asshole. Part of being the crown prince was that people respected me. Listened to me. Demons only understood that in one way. I'd only ever known violence .

But I was giving her a choice. Doing this differently.

Though I wasn't admitting that Lilith was right to her face.

"When are you going to see her again?"

Soon . I pulled the piece of paper out of my pocket. Her number. Not that a phone would work here, anyway.

"I don't know." I tucked the scrap into my desk drawer, locking it with a wave of my hand. It was my magic, so if anyone tampered with it, I could tell. "Do you think anyone noticed I was gone?"

"Your father threw an extravagant, over the top—" He grit his teeth like he was choosing his words wisely. "Party . Not sure anyone would have missed you, let alone realized who was there with the amount of bodies…" A full-body shudder passed through his body. "Let's just say you should be glad you weren't there."

But I would have been. When I was younger, he'd forced me to watch as he'd had women service him. As they'd all gotten drunk on demon wine spiked with aphrodisiacs. I hardly could stand to think about those memories, let alone relive them.

Moving over to my desk, I rummaged through the papers on top, reading through other minor reports of the happenings in the palace.

Growling, I threw the pile of papers to the floor. More shit for me to deal with. More things that needed fixing. If only I just had a bit more power…

"Fuck." I raked my hand through the strands of hair, pulling at them tightly.

Steady as ever, my friend just gave me a nod. "You need her."

"Yes, I am aware of that fact." I smoothed a hand over my face. I needed her for reasons that had nothing to do with biology or companionship. Things that would probably make her hightail it out of there and run away from me.

Before I'd met her, it was easy to pretend that those things weren't as important as tying her to me and obtaining the throne. Now that I had, however…

"It's more complicated than that." Because I wanted those things. Wanted her to want me, too. Even if love was never in the picture, it couldn't be. A demon like me didn't deserve that.

"Of course."

I waved my hand, thoughts swirling through my head. "Leave me. I'd like to be alone."

I needed to slip back into my role. The part I'd been playing my whole damn life. The broody asshole demon prince I knew so well. Some days, I hated him. Other days, I just hated myself.

Talon nodded, giving me a small bow before leaving me to my own thoughts.

How would I convince her ? Could I dare to ask her to uproot her entire life?

If I went back and asked her to come with me, would she say yes?

Part of me didn't want to find out.

Because I didn't know how that answer would be anything other than no .

"Father." I stood in front of his ornate chaise, watching as two courtesans fanned him and another fed him grapes. A glass of demon wine swirled in his hand as he took a sip of the glittering liquid. He didn't acknowledge my presence, too busy ogling the demon girls in the skimpy outfits he'd forced them to dress in .

Ugh. Disgusting . Once, I'd thought he loved my mother. That he cared for me, too. But age had shown me the truth. My father had never loved anyone like he loved himself—and his crown.

The twisting horns that protruded from his forehead were an ever-present reminder of who he was. No one spoke his name. Sometimes I wondered if it had long since faded from memory. For hundreds of years, it was never uttered within these walls. It was always My King or Majesty, and I hated the way his lips would curl up at the words.

My father was large in stature—taller than any human, especially in his demon form.

Once, he had been called handsome. While age hadn't decayed his features, they'd been warped from years of hate, distrust, and abuse. He was a shell of the ruler he'd once been, a remnant of the past that felt archaic, holding onto power instead of letting a new age usher through.

My age .

"You summoned me?" I began, uncomfortable with this display. He'd grown too comfortable as of late, and if I had to watch him take advantage of one of the palace staff—or a female who was all too eager to please her King— one more time, I thought I might hurl.

I couldn't let that show. Couldn't let him see my weakness. Pathetic.

"Zain." His eyes tracked lazily over to me as he crushed another grape with his tongue. "Where is your brother?"

"On a mission."

I was glad that Damien and I hadn't inherited most of his traits. We shared his dark-as-night hair, and I had the golden eyes that signified demon royalty, but I was proud to be my mother's son. That I had retained even an ounce of her goodness. Even if I couldn't show it .

Both my half-brother and I had gained our abilities—his shapeshifting and my, well, everything —from our mothers. The shadows were the only part that had come from him—a fact he knew all too well.

He didn't need to know the truth of our current situation. What I'd sent him to do. The less my father knew of Damien's potential woman—and of mine—the better. Not until I could protect her fully.

Until she was safe—protected by the crown on her head and my guards.

"Hmm." Father didn't sound pleased with me, and I couldn't blame him. I wasn't pleased with myself . "When will he return?"

I grit my teeth. "He isn't your lackey, Father. He doesn't serve you." Not anymore.

As the crown prince, I'd put a stop to that. Claiming that I needed him to do my bidding was the best way to keep my brother away from our asshole of a father.

Almost three hundred years, and I still didn't feel like I'd done enough for him.

A scowl transformed his face, and I did my best to stand tall—not to cower in front of him like I knew he wanted. I'd had enough years to grow used to this.

"Everyone serves me, Zain. In case you've forgotten, I am the King."

Like I needed the reminder. I waved my hand. "For now."

"I grow tired of this," he huffed. "I expect a full report on the happenings of the palace."

Because he couldn't read them himself, he expected me to do anything he asked without hesitation. What did I have to do but please him?

"Fine. I will return tomorrow," I said, turning on a heel and leaving him behind .

I didn't want to play this game any longer. All I wanted was…

To return to Luna.

To wrap my arms around her. To let her scent fill my nostrils. To hear her laughter, to watch her eyes light up as she took in the night sky.

Fuck. I needed to get her out of my head. This wasn't me.

Was it?