Chapter 31

Mac

Her loyalty…

IWAKE TO THE FEELING of drums going off in my head. It literally feels like there's a kid in there with his brand new drum set pounding away on the sides of my skull. There's not an ounce of moisture in my mouth, and my stomach feels like someone is doing somersaults in there. However, the warmth I feel at my side and the smell assaulting my nose makes me one of the luckiest bastards in the world.

I crack open my eyes, and just as I knew she would be, Mia is curled up beside me on the hospital bed. Her forehead is flush against my upper arm. She has one arm and one leg thrown over the top of mine. Her breathing is even against my arm, and I know she's sleeping.

My shoulder hurts like shit, but I gently reach with my free arm, so as not to wake her, and notice my wrist wrapped in a bandage. There's a slight twinge of pain under the bandage, but I ignore it as I run my fingers through her black-and-red hair. It's soft and silky, and I could run my fingers through it all day. She breathes out a sigh and wiggles her little nose. I've always thought of Mia as my little pixie with her small frame and features. With her spiky haircut, she solidified my vision.

Mia starts to shift beside me, and I watch as her eyes flutter open. She lifts her head and it takes her a minute to realize that I'm looking back at her. I'm a little leery of her reception of me. After all, the last time I was awake, a naked Tessa was on my lap as Shady violated Mia. Obviously, she would be worried about me, but concern for my well-being and wanting to continue our relationship after seeing something like that are two different things. I know she won't hold it against me, but it would be hard for anyone to get over something like that.

"Mac," she breathes.

I lift up onto an elbow so I'm looming over her and trail my finger down her face. She watches me with eyes raw with pain. I don't know if that's pain for me, pain on her part, or if it's pain from the situation we were in earlier. Either way, I don't like the look. It's a look that should never cross her face.

"How are you doing?" I ask her, because I need to know that she's okay. I need to know that we're okay.

"Why are you asking me that?" She takes the hand I was using to trace her face and places it over her heart. I feel the rapid beat inside. "I should be asking you that. It was you who had your heart ripped out and stomped on."

Fuzzy memories of what Shady and Tessa told us come rushing in, and I feel the pain start to seep in. I close my eyes and lean my forehead against Mia's as I remember Shady telling me T isn't my son. The bittersweet memory of Tessa telling me we never had sex is something I'm not sure how I feel about. Of course, I'm relieved to know Tessa never had her shit wrapped around my dick, but because of that there is proof T isn't mine.

It doesn't matter though. I don't care that T doesn't share my blood—well I guess technically he does because he's Shady's son and Shady is my brother, but I don't care. No matter what, T will always be mine. Fuck Shady, he can't have him. I'll fight to my dying breath to ensure that Shady has nothing to do with him. And I know damn good and well that Shady will fight for him, even though he admitted himself that he doesn't want him. No, he'll fight me just for the simple fact that I love T.

But then again, Shady should be spending a lot of fucking time in jail for everything he and Tessa have done. If he's alive that is. One of my last memories is of Shady lying on the floor in a puddle of his own blood. I personally hope the fucker bled to death and was in a lot of pain while he did. However, I'm pissed I never got the chance to get my hands on him myself.

I open my eyes and look down at Mia. She's watching me with heartache and distress plastered all over her face.

"I'll be fine. Yes, it hurts, but I'll get through it. We'll get through it. I don't give a shit what Shady and Tessa said. That boy will always be mine." I cup the side of her face and lean down to put my lips on hers for a gentle kiss.

"Now, what I need to know is if you're okay? What that sick fuck was doing to you—" Mia stops me by placing her finger over my mouth. I have no doubt that my eyes are flaring with hatred. Remembering what he did to Mia causes my body to go rigid on top of hers and my hands to ball into fists. Fists I so desperately want to use to rip Shady to shreds.

"I'm fine, too, Sheriff. Jaxon and Nick got to us before he could really hurt me."

I roll to my side and crush Mia into my arms. The enormity of how much worse it could have been runs through my mind. Never in my life have I felt so helpless, felt less than a man. There was nothing I could do to stop Shady from hurting her and the guilt from that weighs heavily on me.

"I'm so sorry, Pix." I tell her. "I'm so damn sorry I couldn't stop him. I'm sorry that you had to see Tessa do that shit to me."

Mia rears back from me, horror and anger mixed, replacing the pain on her face from earlier.

"That is one of the stupidest things I've ever heard, Mackai Weston!" She hisses at me and brings her face closer to mine. "Don't you dare feel sorry for any of this. You tore a fucking muscle and tendon in both your arms and damn near pulled both arms out of their sockets trying to get to me. Have you seen your wrists? They were rubbed so raw that the bone was showing, Mac. Shady and Tessa used triple what a normal dose of Rohypnol was." Tears start falling from her eyes, dripping down onto my chest. I can't stand to see her like this so I pull her into my arms, burying her face against my neck. "I can't… you can't… oh God, Mac, I was so scared, but there was nothing either of us could do."

I hold her as she cries against my neck, soaking my hospital gown. Fuck, I hate hospitals. I know what she says is true but I still can't help but feel like I failed her somehow. There should have been something I could have done. Something more I could have done to catch Shady before that night.

I look over at the door when it opens to see Jaxon and Nick walk in. Mia pulls back from me, quickly wiping her eyes. When she goes to get up off the bed, I pull her back down, wincing from the pain in my shoulder. She sends me a worried look and settles back down. I reach for the cup of water on the little tray beside us, but she gets to it before me and hands it over. I take a sip and hand it back to her.

"How are the arms?" Jaxon asks, as he steps up to the bed.

"Sore, but I'll live."

Shoving his hands into his pockets, he nods. "Mom and Levi are out in the waiting room," Jaxon tells Mia.

"Your parents and T are out there also, Mac. I wanted to come see you first and let you know that Shady is in critical condition. He had internal bleeding on his brain. They had to go in to relieve the pressure. They're still waiting to see if he wakes up and the extent of the damage."

My only response is a grunt. If it weren't for the fact that Jaxon would probably be charged with murder if Shady doesn't make it, then I would wish to hell that he never woke up.

"Shady pulled a knife on Jaxon and went after him with it. I saw it happen. So, if he doesn't wake up, Jaxon is clear of murder charges. It would be self-defense," Nick says, walking up beside Jaxon.

I look at both Jaxon and Nick, looking for the truth in Nick's words. They both look back at me with steady eyes, giving nothing away. When I bring my eyes to Mia's, she's not looking at me; instead she's looking at her brother. I decide that I don't give a shit. Whatever the truth is, Jaxon is covered.

"In that case, I hope the bastard dies in his sleep, quietly suffering in his own head," I tell no one in particular. "What about Tessa?" I ask, my voice hard.

A look like pride appears on Jaxon's face as he looks at Mia. I vaguely remember Mia in her bra and panties sitting on top of Tessa, beating the shit out of her.

"She didn't fare as badly as Shady, but it was close. You should have seen Mia, Mac. I had to pull her away, or I have no doubt she'd be right next to Shady," Jaxon says, his lips twitching.

"Shouldn't have pulled me off her," Mia mutters beside me. "The bitch deserved more."

I pull her closer to me and kiss the top of her head.

Nick speaks next. "She's here, but her injuries aren't bad. As soon as they release her, she's going to jail. There's an officer stationed outside her and Shady's rooms."

That makes me feel better. I wouldn't put it past Tessa or Shady to try and escape. Of course, from what Jaxon said, Shady won't be going anywhere for a while. Thank fuck for that.

"Mia told us what Shady and Tessa told you both. I'm sorry man," Jaxon says, after a few minutes.

I flex my hands at my sides, trying to relieve some of the tension there when Jaxon brings up the fucked-up situation with T.

I don't really want to talk about it yet, but I tell Jaxon the same thing I told Mia, "I doesn't matter. T will always be mine."

Again, Jaxon nods, not surprised at my answer.

"How did you find us?" I ask Jaxon and Nick.

"It was actually Jesse," Nick says. "When I made it to your house, the door was open. I tried calling your phone, but there was no answer. I must have gotten there right after Mia was taken. I called dispatch to find out if they heard from you and told them what happened. I called Jaxon and explained shit to him as well. Another deputy and I went to the old barn. Saw your truck and knew something happened to you as well. We started gathering people together to look for you both. About thirty minutes later, Jesse called. He was coming back from town after visiting a girl he's seeing. He knew the situation with Shady and Tessa. Said he thought he saw Shady's truck outside an old house right outside town. Jaxon and I hauled ass over there. You know the rest."

We're all quiet for a few minutes, lost in thought. If it weren't for Jesse driving by, there's no telling what might have happened, but I have no doubt it would have been much worse. I owe Jesse big time.

"We're going to go so Maryann, Sam, and T can come in," Jaxon tells me, and then looks at Mia. "You want Mom and Levi to come in, or do you want to go out and talk to them? She's pretty upset, so I don't think I can hold her off from seeing you."

Before Mia can answer, I tell Jaxon, "Let them come in." No way am I letting Mia out of my sight. She's staying right here beside me."

He nods and leans over to give Mia a kiss on the cheek. Nick does the same, and then they both walk out.

I roll toward Mia and gather her as tight in my arms as I can get her, the pull on my sore muscles nowhere near stopping me. There's a big chance I could have lost her tonight, and I need to feel as much of her as I can. She wraps both her arms around me tightly as well, as if she's thinking the same thing as me.

Now I have the heartbreaking task of telling my mom that the man who tried hurting, and possibly killing, her son and Mia is the same person she gave up when he was a baby. I have no idea how she's going to take the news, but I know it's going to be hard. It's going to hurt, and it makes me want to hunt down Shady and finish the job Jaxon started. That's one regret I will always have, that I never got the chance to take Shady down myself.

I also have to make the decision on whether I should tell T I'm not his real dad. I don't really see the benefit of telling him yet, but I don't want it to come out from somewhere else. I'll talk to Mia later about it and get her opinion.

I lean my head back from Mia. "I don't want to tell my mom yet. Let's wait until we get home and away from here."

She looks at me with understanding. "Okay."

I pull her back to me and we lie like this for several minutes. I breathe in her familiar scent and thank God Jesse was on that highway last night.

MY MOM TOOK THE news of Shady just as I expected. She cried on my shoulder and then cried on Mia's, and then on my dad's.

For some asinine reason, she tried blaming herself for what happened. She said that if it wasn't for her giving him up as a baby and him being raised how he was, then he wouldn't have held such a grudge against me. I shut that shit down real quick.

"Mom, this is in no way your fault," I say, holding her by the shoulders and making her look at me. "Yes, it's terrible he grew up the way he did, but you couldn't have known. Even if you did try to find him, there's no way to know if you would have been successful. Shady made the choice to be like he is. Kids in abusive families have been known to grown up to be kind, successful, compassionate people. It's up to them whether they want to be different from their parents."

She looks from me to Mia, pain still evident in her eyes. Mia sees it and tries reassuring my mom as well. She reaches her hand out for my mom to take. "Maryann, you can't blame yourself for this. I think Tessa's obsession with Mac fueled Shady's hatred. He saw his opportunity when we were younger to take his revenge. He knew how much Mac loved me, and I think he felt it was enough to take that happiness away from him. When Tessa told him she saw us getting close again, I think it brought it back. That's the only explanation for why he never tried anything else in the past. Tessa used that against Shady, knowing what buttons to push."

I love Mia with every ounce of my being. I never thought I could love her any more than what I already did, but what she says to my mom, trying to get her to let go of a guilt she shouldn't feel, makes me love her even more.

Mia pulls her into her arms, and my mom cries against her shoulder. I just hope what we both said helps.

Even though it hurt to say it, and I secretly hope that my mom refuses, I tell her that I would understand if she wants to visit Shady. He is, after all, her oldest son.

With tears in her eyes, she tells me, "I'd like to go see him once. Just to explain things to him. After that, no. As much as it hurts to know that he had such a bad childhood, I can't get over the fact that he hurt you both. I don't think I'll ever be able to get over that."

I nod in understanding, praying that Shady doesn't make this harder on her. I have a feeling it's a wasted prayer though. I remember the way Shady acted when he spoke about our mom. I also have the feeling that when I find out he was an asshole to her, I'll have to force myself not to go after him.

A FEW DAYS LATER, we're at the lake watching T swim. We showed him the swing, and he's been at it ever since. I swear the damn kid was raised as an otter. He'd stay in the water all day if we let him. Mia and I both laugh where we sit on a blanket as T yells while doing a cannonball in the water.

My parents decided to stay a couple of weeks, instead of the few days they had originally planned. They're at the house cooking dinner. We invited them along, but they both said they wanted to give us family time.

After talking to Mia, I decided to wait on telling T about Shady. The only people who know the truth are either in jail or are trusted family and friends. The truth coming out shouldn't be an issue. We do plan on telling him, just not until he's older and can understand better. We did tell him that his mom is in jail though. We didn't give him the details, just that she did something bad. He took it well enough. Of course he was hurt, but he didn't act too surprised, which pisses me off because that means the situation was more dire at home than I thought. No kid should be unaffected when they find out a parent is in jail.

Unfortunately, Shady woke up yesterday in the hospital, with no signs of brain damage. It may be wrong of me to wish he'd died in that hospital bed, but I don't give a shit. You go through something like what Mia and I did, and you'd wish the same thing. I don't care who you are. Shady will be in the hospital for a few more days, and then he'll be released into police custody. Tessa is already there.

I'm sitting with my back against a tree with Mia between my legs. I have one of my arms wrapped around her waist and my other one wrapped around her neck with my hand on her opposite shoulder. She has her hands on my thighs, playing with the loose threads in the holes in my jeans.

I snuggle against her neck and nip her ear when I whisper, "I love you, Pix."

A low moan leaves her lips, and she tips her head to the side. "Love you, too, Sheriff."

I'll never get tired of hearing her say that. For years, I thought I would never hear those words again, and now that I have, I know I can't live without them. I'll do anything I can, be anything I need to be, to ensure she loves me until her dying breath.

"You know I'm going to marry you, right?" I whisper in her ear.

A surprised laugh escapes her before she says cheekily, "Well, maybe. Depends on if you ask nicely or not."

I run my nose up her neck and take a nibble. Using my arm around her neck, I pull her back farther against me. "There's no maybe about it. Now that I have you, I'm never letting you go. Come hell or high water, you'll be mine in every way possible."

"Mmm… hmm…" She moans again. The sound has my dick hardening against her back. She wiggles a little when she feels it, causing me to grit my teeth.

Fuck! I need her. Too damn bad I can't do anything about it right now.

She pushes my arms away from her and then turns around so she's straddling me. I keep T in my peripheral vision, but look at Mia when she talks.

Leaning close, she says, "I want that more than anything, Mac. It's all I ever wanted. You to be mine, and me to be yours. You were always my dream as a girl, and I didn't realize it at the time, but you were my dream as a woman as well. I tried so hard for years to hate you, but I always knew deep down inside that I couldn't. Even when I thought you betrayed me, I still loved you. I couldn't admit it, hell, I don't even think I knew it, but that love was still there, stronger than ever." Cupping my face with her hands, she places a tender kiss on my lips before pulling back and finishing. "I would be honored and so very lucky to be your wife."

I snatch her to me and give her a more demanding kiss. I pull back way to soon because we need to keep an eye on T.

"You've always been my dream too, Mia. From the time you kissed me by the lake that day, I knew you'd be mine forever. Even before that, I already had plans for us. I was just waiting for the right time. I guess you decided that day was the right time." She laughs softly at that.

"I was so nervous. You have no idea how badly I was shaking."

I gently swipe my finger across her cheek. "Oh, I felt you shaking, and it made me love you and want you even more. You took the courage, thought I was worth the chance, and I'll thank God every day that you did."

Still straddling me, she leans down and rests her head on my chest and murmurs, "Me too, Mac."

I kiss the top of her head and look out over the water. T is still doing cannonballs off the cliff. I look over to the left and see the old wooden dock. This place will always hold a special meaning for me. It was where my life really began. Mia was my beginning. My life before her wasn't bad, in fact, it was pretty damn good, but it wasn't until Mia, and then T, that I really felt my heart beat. She and T were, still are, and always will be my reason for being.