Chapter 3

Mia

Her smile…

BAILEY, HER FRIEND CHRIS, and I are all busting ass in the tent that is serving homemade meatball sandwiches, roast beef sandwiches, and sausage dogs. The turnout for the annual Jaded Hollow Spring Carnival is always hopping. There are several small towns that surround Jaded Hollow, and people from all over show up. We may be a small community, but we know how to have a good time. People know this, and that's why they wait anxiously for it each year.

All the local businesses participate in some way or another, whether that be donating supplies, equipment, money, entertainment, helping set up, breaking down, supervising, etc. Every penny that is made is given back to the community in some form: schools, the local fire and police department, the library. Every business and resident benefit from it. They all also close down for the festivities.

There are tons of tents lined up all over the courthouse yard with homemade desserts, food, arts and crafts, tractor supplies, gardening supplies, homemade honey, quilts, and more. There are tents set up specifically for kids, with face painting, coloring contests, apple bobbing, and pony rides. There's a bouncy house and even a shallow pool that has huge round inflatable balls that the kids can get into and roll around in the water. Jaded is a family-oriented town so we make sure all the kids have fun as well.

The carnival lasts all day and into the night. Once the evening hits and the kiddos go to bed, the adults break out the alcohol and things tend to get a little wild and crazy.

We girls are currently being swarmed by hungry people. We have six huge warming containers filled with food and more cooking. Believe it or not, before the night is over, every last morsel will be gone.

As soon as one person has their food and steps away, another takes their place. We bustle around trying to keep up. After a few minutes, we all hear wailing and glance down at baby Amari, sitting in her glider crying her beautiful eyes out.

"Uh-oh. Sounds like it's feeding time," Chris says, laughing.

Bailey drops the tongs she is holding, walks over to Amari, and reaches in to grab her. "I swear this child eats more than Jaxon," she says with a sigh. You can see the love shining out of Bailey's eyes every time she looks at Amari. After losing so many babies because of her ass-hat of an ex-husband, Bailey and Jaxon both dote on Amari like she's the Queen of England. Of course, the kid is gorgeous and a sweetie, so I can see why they do.

Just then, Jaxon walks up behind Bailey and wraps his arms around her, kissing her neck. Bailey tilts her head back and Jaxon places another kiss on her lips. A pang of jealousy rears its ugly head. I am utterly happy for them. They both deserve the happiness they so obviously share. I just wish I could have had my own happiness as well. Once upon a time, I thought I did.

"Hey, angel, you take Mari and feed her, and I'll help out the girls here, okay? You look like you need to get off your feet for a few minutes." From the beginning, Jaxon has called Amari Mari. He's the only one who calls her that. He claims it's closer to the word ‘miracle,' which he believes Mari is.

The look Jaxon gives her causes my own gaze to soften. It's amazing how much these two love each other.

Bailey turns in Jaxon's arms with the baby still in hers, and rolls to her tiptoes to give him a kiss. When she pulls back, she has adoration written all over her face.

"Thank you, honey. My feet are killing me. But when I get back, it's Mia and Chris's turn for a break. They've been working just as hard as me."

"Deal," he says, with a smile.

After giving him another soft kiss, Bailey grabs the diaper bag and walks off toward Town Hall, where she can sit and feed Amari. Jaxon's eyes don't leave her until she disappears behind a door. When he turns back around, he claps and rubs his hands together.

"Alright, ladies, put me to work."

After ten minutes of working side by side, we finally get a lull in the crowd. Jaxon steps up beside me and plants a kiss on the side of my head.

"How's my sister doing?" he asks.

Jaxon's always been very close to both Anna and me, but since Anna's death, he seems even more determined to hold on to and strengthen that bond. I can't blame him. Family is everything, and when you lose someone you love, it makes you want to cling to the those who you still have left.

I lean my head against his shoulder when I answer, "I'm great. How have things been?"

"They've been good. Getting into the routine of having Mari. Fuck, Mia, that little girl and her mama have me wrapped around their fingers, and they both know it."

I laugh because he's right. He would do anything for either of them. He's so goddamn whipped it's almost pathetic. But he's happy and I'm glad.

Out the corner of my eye, I see Nick walking over to one of the booths.

"How's Nick?" I ask Jaxon. "I haven't seen much of him lately."

Nick was the one who was affected the most by Anna's death. Nick and Anna had been together for several years and were completely and irrevocably in love. They were true soul mates, and anyone who saw them together knew it. Yes, she was my and Jaxon's sister and my mother's daughter, but the connection that Nick and Anna shared was unlike anything I've ever witnessed.

When Anna died, it broke him, almost beyond repair. He turned in on himself and never let anyone in. Nick never spoke of her death, and growled at anyone who mentioned it. I know people grieve in their own way, but the way he was dealing with it was unhealthy. He was definitely not the same man he was before. When Anna was alive, Nick was one of the most easygoing, happy, and carefree men I knew. Now he's quiet, grouchy, and outright mean sometimes. It's hard to fault him for it though, so we just all ignore it when he's like that.

"He could be better. It's been close to two years and Bailey's worried about him. I think she still feels guilt over it. I've told her over and over that she shouldn't, but I think she still does. It hurts that she feels that way."

Chris walks up beside us and grabs a soda out of the cooler. "She'll get there, Jaxon. She just needs more time and so does Nick." The last was said with her eyes lingering on Nick's back.

"I know. It's just hard to watch when she pulls inside herself. She has no reason to feel guilty. Everyone knows what she did for Anna, what she put herself through," he says.

I reach over and put my arm around his waist and give it a squeeze. He looks down at me.

"All you can do, Jaxon, is be there for her when she needs you. She'll be okay."

He nods slightly before he drops another kiss on my head. "I love you, Mia."

"Love you too, Jax," I return with a smile.

Bailey walks up a few minutes later with a sleeping Amari in her arms. As soon as she reaches us, Jaxon takes Amari and rubs his nose along the baby's cheek. It's a sweet move he adopted right after she was born.

"You wake that baby up, Jaxon, and you're putting her back to sleep," Bailey warns.

Jaxon puckers his lips up at Bailey and blows her a kiss. "You know I have to get my Mari love, angel. I won't wake her."

Bailey shakes her head with a small smile playing on her lips and turns to Chris and me. "Okay, girls, go mingle. We've got things here for a while."

It's so amazing how much Bailey has changed since she first moved to Jaded. The scared, timid, shy girl no longer exists and was replaced with a strong confident woman.

"Roger that, Mama. We'll be back in a bit," Chris says with a wink and grabs my hand to pull me from under the tent. I have no idea where she is headed, but I really have to go pee. When I see her leading me toward Nick, who happens to be talking to Mac, I pull on her arm until she stops. She turns to me with a question in her eyes.

"I'm going to the restroom," I tell her.

"Want me to go with?"

"Nope, I think I can manage it by myself," I say sarcastically.

Completely ignoring my smart-ass remark, she lets go of my hand. "Okay. Meet you back at the tent in thirty?"

"Yep, sounds good."

She turns on her heel and makes a beeline for Nick and Mac. I look at Mac and see him watching me. I narrow my eyes at him, which causes a smirk to appear on his face. Rolling my eyes, I turn to make my way to the bathrooms.

After doing my business, I step out of the stall and wash my hands. Throwing the paper towel in the trash, I open the door and stop dead in my tracks. Mac is leaning against the wall right across from the ladies bathroom with his arms crossed against his chest.

I step out into the hall and brace myself to face him. It's unavoidable. He's damn sure made it so.

Bastard.

I sigh. "What do you want now, Sheriff? I'm tired and don't want to deal with this shit right now."

"You can't avoid me forever, Mia. There are things you don't know that you should. Things I've tried telling you before but you haven't allowed me to." He moves away from the wall and takes a slow step toward me. It takes everything I have not to take a step back for every forward movement he makes.

"It doesn't matter. It's too late. Besides, nothing you say would make a difference. What you did, the repercussions to both of us, is something that can't ever be undone."

"Pix—" He starts, but I don't let him finish.

I throw my hands up to my ears, squeeze my eyes shut, and yell, "No! I can't, Mac! I don't want to hear it! And stop fucking calling me that!"

All of a sudden, I feel hands at my wrists, trying to bring them down. I jump at the touch and try to jerk away.

"Goddamn it, Mia!" I hear Mac's muffled baritone through my hands. "Fuck, you are one stubborn bitch, you know that?"

I drop my hands and sling my head up at his words. How fucking dare he! He's the one who caused this mess. Now he wants to get mad because I don't care to hear what he has to say.

Fuck that!

"You know what, Mac? You can kiss my ass. You get pissed because I don't want to hear what you want me to hear. Go fuck yourself and leave me the hell alone." My breathing is heavy because my emotions are getting the best of me. Mac always seems to bring out all my emotions.

Mac leans his head down so his face is level with mine and grits out, "Mia, it's been ten fucking years. I think that's long enough for you to finally give me a chance to explain." When I go to object again, he stops me. "Shut it! You listen to me now." I snap my mouth closed at his bluntness. "What I have to say may not change anything, but fuck all if you're going to continue to live in the dark on what really happened that night."

I glare up at him while he stares down at me with his beautiful green eyes, eyes that I sometimes still see at night. They're intense right now as they watch me. A low swirl starts in the pit of my stomach at his closeness. I can smell his woodsy scent, and it's causing dirty thoughts to form in my head. Thoughts of him shoving me up against the wall and taking me hard.

My chest is heaving for a whole other reason now. As much as I hate him, I want him still. He notices my reaction, and his eyes flare in response. He takes a step closer to me so our bodies are practically touching. I take a couple steps back until I hit the wall, and he advances again. With him this close, I have to tip my head back to keep my eyes on his face. He cages me in with his arms on either side of my head.

"What's going on in that head of yours, Pix?" he murmurs. "Are you thinking the same things as me? Are you thinking about me picking you up and wrapping your gorgeous legs around me so you can grind that wet pussy against my cock? Or, how about me flipping you around and pulling those tight-ass pants down and feasting on your pussy? Or are you just skipping all the foreplay and going straight to me sliding my dick in your tight cunt?"

I lean my head back against the wall and close my eyes, trying to block out all the images conjured in my head by his words. I feel his breath against my neck right before I feel the scruff of his five o'clock shadow.

"You're thinking all those things, aren't you? You want it all. You don't want to want it, but you want me to finally take you," he whispers in my ear.

It's the word "finally" that brings me back to reality. It's such a simple word, but the meaning behind it is what causes my chest to hurt unbearably. He should have already had me ten years ago. We should have had each other. He was the one to decide to throw it away on someone else, and in turn, someone else took mine.

I give a mighty push against his hard chest until he takes a step back. The only reason I am able to is because I surprised him.

I give him my best glare, hoping he sees all the hate I have for him. "It's too late for that, Sheriff." I sneer the title. "You'll never have me. You made sure of that when you gave Tessa your virginity instead of me. On my birthday! And you know what?" I lean in closer and whisper, "I gave mine away that night as well."

After my spill, I turn to the side and go to sweep past him. A large hand grabs my wrist to stop me. He swings me back around and slams me against the wall, in the same spot I was before.

"What the fuck? Who?" he growls in my face. The look in his eyes should scare me, but it doesn't.

"That's none of your business," I growl right back at him.

"Goddamn it! Tell me who the fuck it was!" he bellows.

"No!"

"Who did you fuck, Mia? Who fucking took what was mine?" he booms.

A small sardonic smile creeps over my face. "I'm not telling you who, Mac, but I will tell you it felt sooo good." I purr the last part. I'm also lying through my teeth. That night felt anything but good.

At my words, Mac rears back like I sucker punched him. For a minute, I feel remorse at my words and the hurt look on his face that they caused. But then I remember the pain of that night and the remorse is swept away. He deserves to feel some of the pain I felt.

"Okay, Mia. You want to play it that way, that's fine. I deserve that. But you're still going to listen to what I have to say," he says in a voice so calm it's almost scary.

I roll my eyes and brush past him. This time he lets me go. I say over my shoulder, "Whatever."

"This isn't over, Mia. You will listen," I hear him say.

I flip him off over my shoulder and keep walking.