Chapter 18

Mia

Her compassion…

IWAKE UP AND FEEL a hard warmth at my back. The sun is shining through the sheer curtains. There's a heavy weight on my waist, and at first, I don't know what it is. Flashes of last night come tumbling in, and I know I'm in Mac's bed, and he's snuggled up to my back. What we did last night rushes through and tingles start spreading through me. When I woke to Mac rubbing circles on my waist, all the pent-up desire he'd stirred in me had no choice but to be released.

I feel Mac's warm breath on my neck. I want to turn around, kiss his lips, and take his cock in my hand. My bladder has other plans. If I don't get to the bathroom very soon, Mac will have a very rude awakening.

I carefully remove Mac's arms from around my waist and slide over to the edge of the bed. He grumbles in his sleep, and I can't help but look back at him and smile. His brows are drawn down into a frown, as if he can sense I'm no longer beside him.

My bladder protests the wait while I watch Mac. I turn and rush to his bathroom. After relieving myself, I check his medicine cabinet for an extra toothbrush. Not finding one, I pick his up, and with a shrug, I use it to clean the fuzz from my teeth.

I walk out of the bathroom to see Mac's arms wrapped around a pillow, and I have to stifle a laugh. Poor guy.

I have no idea what we're doing here. There's so much that's changed between us the last couple of weeks. I don't know what I want anymore. I no longer blame Mac for what happened, but I'm also terrified of being hurt again. I know he would never hurt me on purpose, but we both know that shit happens and I may get hurt unintentionally. Should I take that chance? Can I take the risk? Hell, I don't even know how Mac feels. I've treated him like shit for the past ten years. Who's to say he even wants a relationship with me? Maybe it's just physical for him. I don't think it is, but I can't be sure. I don't even know if I want to know. The truth may hurt.

I walk out of the bedroom naked, my mind in turmoil. I stop in the living room, pick up my clothes, and put them back on. Loafer's silent feet follow me into the kitchen. I search the cabinets until I locate everything I need to make a pot of coffee. After making myself a cup, I walk to the back door and step outside. The air is warm, but not too much because there's a breeze. I glance over to my left and see the barn.

I start in that direction, calling Loafer behind me. The barn is huge, bigger than I remember, but I'm sure it's because it's been years since I've seen it. It looks like it's been repainted within the last few years. It must have been another project Mac decided to do when he refurbished the house. I step inside and nostalgia immediately hits me at the smell of horses. Most people would hate the smell, but I always loved it.

Several of the stalls are occupied by horses, but not nearly as many as before. When we were younger, every stall was used. I walk up to the nearest one and look inside. There's a huge black-and-white horse inside. He's munching on some hay when he sees me at the door of the stall. He walks over to me. I hold my hand out for him to smell. After a good whiff, he brings his nose down and butts it against my hand. I laugh at his demand to be rubbed.

I spend several minutes with him before I move on to the next stall. As soon as I see who's inside, I know this is Marabelle's foal. Tears prickle my eyes as I gaze at Pepper. Her color is different from Marabelle. Marabelle was brown and white, while Pepper is white and gray. No, the reason I know this is Pepper is because she has the same moon-shaped patch Marabelle did, in the exact same spot. Marabelle's patch was brown and on her right flank. Pepper's is gray and on her right flank as well.

She walks up to me, and it's as if she knows who I am. She gently places her head against my cheek and gives me a soft neigh. I place my hands on her neck and give both sides a rub. Before I'm able to stop them, a few tears slip down my cheeks. I rest my forehead against hers and let them come. I cry, because not only do I miss Marabelle, but also because of all that Mac and I have missed, all because someone was jealous and thought to take away our happiness.

"I see you've met Pepper," Mac says behind me. I sniff and quickly wipe my tears away before I turn around and face him. I suck in a breath when I do. He's leaning against the barn door wearing nothing but his jeans with the button undone. His chest is bare, and I want to go up to him and lick it.

He smirks at me, as if he knows what I'm thinking. I roll my eyes at him and turn back toward Pepper.

"She's beautiful. She has Marabelle's mark," I reply.

Mac walks up beside me and starts petting Pepper. "Yeah, she does. She's lucky to be here. She fought hard to stay alive. When Marabelle went into distress, she stopped pushing. Only Pepper's feet were out. I had to pull the rest of her out. Once she was delivered, she wasn't moving. I thought she was gone, but after a few minutes she started thrashing."

I have to swallow the lump in my throat to keep the tears at bay. My poor Marabelle. I wish I had been there for her.

I wrap my arms around Pepper's neck and rub my face against her. I promise myself that no matter what, I'll be here for her daughter.

"Have you eaten?" Mac asks.

"No, but I'm not really hungry. Do you think you can drop me off at my mom's house? I need to tell her what happened. I'll get her to take me to my car."

"It's already taken care of. Nick drove it to your place for you last night."

"Oh, okay. Well, can you take me home and then I'll drive over to Moms?"

"Yeah, just let me grab some clothes and then we can go."

I nod and give Pepper one last affectionate pat before turning to follow Mac to the house.

I'm standing at the sink rinsing out the coffee pot when I feel arms wrap around me from behind. I stiffen at first, but then relax against his chest. It's really strange to be back in Mac's arms, but then again, it's like I never left. The feelings are so familiar.

I feel Mac's lips at the nape of my neck, and I tilt my head to give him better access. He runs his tongue up my neck, and it sends shivers throughout my body. I push back against his hips and feel his hardness. I want him to bend me over and sink his cock into me.

Mac moves his hands up my ribs until he meets my breasts, where he tweaks my hard nipples. I moan and have to grip the counter to stay standing.

I almost stomp my foot and pitch a fit when Mac nips my ear and whispers, "As much as I want to finish this, I need to drop you off and take care of something."

I nod, unable to talk at the moment because of my racing heart. I'm worried if I speak, it will come out as a squeak, and I am not a squeaker.

I turn in Mac's arms and lift my head. He knows what I want and bends his to give me a kiss. It's a hot one, not as hot as last night, but hot all the same. Mac pulls back before I am finished with his lips, but I don't protest. I need to get to my mama's house. The longer I wait on telling her, the more upset she'll be.

The drive over to my house isn't long. That's the thing with living in a small town. Everyone knows where everyone lives, and you can get there within minutes.

After saying goodbye to Mac and thanking him, I walk into my house and head straight to the shower. I took a shower in the hospital before I was released, but I still feel dirty. Hospitals tend to do that to you. No matter how much you wash, you never feel truly clean.

After dressing and picking up a quick snack, I walk out to my car. I pause before getting in and walk around it to check the tires. I know it's ridiculous, but since Mac told me about my tire being slashed, I'm paranoid. Seeing my fully inflated tire, I climb inside and head over to my mom's house, not looking forward to telling her of the recent events.

I'M SITTING ON MY mom's couch with her arms around me, her crying on my shoulder. Levi is sitting on her other side rubbing her back. His eyes are hard, and I can tell he's pissed. Not at me, but at what happened to me. It endears him to me that he's upset on my behalf. I'm glad my mom has found someone to make her happy. It's been years since she's had someone there for her besides family and friends.

My mom pulls back and wipes her tears. Her eyes are bloodshot, and she has red splotches on her cheeks from crying, but she's still the most beautiful woman in the world.

She brings her palms up to my cheeks and demands, "Don't you ever keep something like this from me again. I mean it, Mia. Never again. And you better bet your ass that I'll be talking to your brother about this too."

It's not very often that I hear my mama curse, but when she does, you know she means business.

"I'm sorry, Mama. We didn't want to worry you."

"I'm your mother; it's my job to worry. It's my job to be there for my kids when they need me." She says this with more tears leaking out of her eyes, and it makes me feel like shit.

I pull her to me again and kiss her cheek. "I promise I won't keep anything like this from you again."

She pulls back and kisses my cheek as well. She reaches up and grabs Levi's hand that is now resting on her shoulder. I smile at the movement.

"How are you feeling now?" she asks, worry heavy in her voice.

I feel fine, Mama. I had a headache yesterday, but I'm doing much better today," I tell her, trying to alleviate her worry.

"Do either of you have any idea who would do something like that?"

I look up at Levi. Anger is still evident in his eyes, and his jaw is clenched, as if he's physically holding himself back from doing damage. While in school, he always seemed so laid-back. He was one of the coolest teachers in school, always making our lessons interesting. Now, I see a side I've never witnessed before, and it's very intimidating and interesting to see.

"There's one person we think may have something to do with it. Mac is supposed to talk to them to see what he can find out. I'll keep you both updated."

"Tell him if he needs anything to let me know."

I nod, grateful for Levi's words. I just hope Mac has no problems with getting the truth out of Tessa. She's obviously capable of drugging someone to get what she wants, but I don't see the point of her drugging me. I know she was pissed I was at Mac's house, but she and Mac have been over for years.

I'm pulled from my thoughts when my mom says, "I was going through some boxes in the attic the other day and came across one of your boxes." She turns to Levi, "Can you go get it for me, please? It's in our bedroom in the corner by the desk."

"Sure, baby." He bends and gives her a lingering kiss. I turn my head to give them privacy. When I hear his retreating footsteps, I turn back to my mom, who has a flush on her cheeks. She gives me a small smile, which I return.

"So." I grab her hand in mine. "Have you set a date yet?"

"Sort of." At my confused look, she laughs and continues, "We've decided an open date sometime in winter. I want to get married in the snow. Since there's no way to predict when it's going to snow, we've decided to just plan everything ahead of time, and when we know it's going to snow, call everyone to come over. We don't want a lot of people to attend, just family and a few close friends. I know it sounds crazy, but…"

She trails off with a shrug and looks at her lap. I squeeze her hand until she looks back at me. "It's not crazy at all. I think it's going to be beautiful."

She smiles at me, and I know I've made her happy with my words. My chest warms at the happiness I see in her eyes.

"You'll be my maid of honor, right?"

"Mama, really? Do you even need to ask? You know I would be completely honored."

She laughs again and gives me another hug. I squeeze her in return, thrilled that she's so happy. My mom is the best person I know.

Levi comes back into the room, and we break apart. The soft look in his eyes says he heard part of our conversation. He's carrying a shoebox big enough to carry a pair of boots. He sets it down on top of the coffee table in front of us. I have no idea what's inside, but I'm curious. I reach out and remove the lid. My breath catches at what I see inside.

Mama senses my reaction and gets up from the couch.

"Levi and I are going to the kitchen to give you privacy. I'm making us grilled cheese sandwiches. Would you like one?"

"Sure," I tell her distractedly, still looking inside the box without touching anything. I barely register her and Levi leaving the room.

I reach out and see that my hand is shaking. Sitting on top is a framed photo of Mac and me at Jaxon's lake. We're sitting on a blanket that Mac set out for us. It was the beginning of winter, so it was cool outside. Mac is sitting behind me with me between his legs. A bright red blanket is surrounding us both. He has his head on my shoulder, and we're both looking out at the lake. There's serenity on both our faces, like we're both sitting in the best spot on Earth; no other place would have been more perfect. Anna had taken the picture without us knowing, and it became my favorite. It stayed on my nightstand until the night of my eighteenth birthday.

That night, when I came home, I took the picture and all the rest of the contents of the box and tossed them in the trash. Mama must have seen me do it and decided to save everything.

I set the picture frame beside me on the couch and pull out a few more pictures. There's one of Jaxon, Anna, Nick, Andrew, Mac, and me. A pang hits my chest at seeing Anna again. My mom took this one. I remember that day because that was the day that Andrew tried putting his arm around Jaxon, and he kept shrugging it off. We all laughed at Andrew's attempts and that was when Mom took the picture. We all look cheerful and carefree.

There are ticket stubs for every movie Mac and I went to. It sounds so childish now, but I kept anything and everything that had to do with Mac. I even have a lock of his hair that his mom gave me, which sounds somewhat creepy now.

In the bottom of the box, I pull out a silver chain that has a locket on it. I pull it open and tears blur my vision at the tiny picture of a baby Mac on one side and a baby me on the other side. Mac gave it to me on my seventeenth birthday.

I carefully place everything back in the box and get up to go into the kitchen. Mom and Levi are at the kitchen table, eating their lunch. When my mom sees my eyes, she gets up and comes to me for a hug. I hold her tight.

"I threw all that stuff away," I whisper in her ear.

"I know you did, sweetie. I saw you do it. I went out behind your back, and got it all out. I knew one day that you would want it back."

I never would have thought at the time that she would be right. I wanted nothing that would remind me of Mac. I am so grateful she saved it for me though. Those things were so precious to me and to have them back makes my chest hurt.

We pull back, and I give her a watery "Thank you."

"I've heard you and Mac have been spending time with each other and figured now was the time to give you back that box. I know there was animosity between you both for a long time. I hope that whatever happened is over. You changed so much when you broke up, and even more so when your father left. I see some of the old Mia peeking through, and I hope it's Mac that's bringing back that happiness. It hurt so much to watch you withdraw into yourself like that."

"I'm so sorry, Mama. I didn't realize you were hurting too." It seems like so many people were affected by my and Mac's breakup. I had no idea; I was so absorbed in my own pain that I didn't see the people around me hurting too.

"Don't apologize, Mia. I understand you were grieving at the loss of something so special. Everyone handles pain in his or her own way. As much as I hated to see it, you chose to handle it the best way you could, by ignoring it and pushing people away. I wish I had pushed to get you to talk to me, but I didn't want to cause you more pain."

"Oh, Mama." I rest my head on her shoulder while she rubs her hands up and down my back.

After a few minutes, I stand back up and she smiles at me. "Now, are you hungry?"

I wipe my tears away and smile back. "I'm starving."

She turns to walk off, but I stop her with a hand on her arm. When she's facing me again, I tell her quietly, "Thank you for keeping everything."

"You're very welcome, sweetie." She puts her arm around my waist. "Let's go eat."