Chapter 3

CIRRUS

Well that was a night of revelations. I don't know who that little witch is but there is something inside of me saying she needs to be watched.

Not only is she the most delicious pie at the fair, she's got power unknown to even herself.

I watch as her eyes glaze over and she seems lost in her thoughts.

"Well Peaches, this was fun. Let's do it again," I say, then redress myself and pat my poor dick.

"It's okay. We will get her next time, sport."

Leaving my little porcupine I return to the guys. They are past the point of return and by the look of the multiple empty shot glasses, I have to say they've enjoyed themselves.

"Rus, there you are man. Where'd you go?" Sin slurs and tries to stand. He miscalculates how close the chair is to the table and ends up flipping said table over.

Glass shatters, and I sigh. Halee looks distraught at the mess and the person on stage butchering a Carrie Underwood song stops singing.

A man in a mesh top leaves the bar and stomps over to us. Before he can start an argument, I hand him my credit card and nod to Astor, who doesn't look much better than his twin.

Giving me a goofy smile, I sigh and point toward the door. He laughs and pouts, crossing his arms.

"You're not five you nit. Get your ass up and outside. How are you guys wasted so quickly?"

He reaches into his coat pocket and pulls out a small flask that I happen to know quite well. Ah, fuck me with a bramble bush.

"You sneaky little fox. You shouldn't have taken that. You're in for a night my friend," I grunt, lifting him from his chair and leading him to the door.

"Nooooo, I don't wanna goooo," Astor whines and I wince. "We still have to sing," he complains then begins to belt out a not too bad rendition from Dreamgirls.

Wish I could record this. It's gold blackmail material.

The bartender returns with my card and a scowl. "I took a seventy percent tip for the mess," he grumbles and I nod, then sigh.

"Of course you did, glitters. Now if you could help me get my friends to my car that would be just rainbows and kittens."

He gives me a look of confusion, then nods and grabs Sin by his ankle, dragging him out the door.

"Not quite what I had in mind, Laffy taffy, but it's efficient I'll give you that."

Once we are all snug as a cub in a rug in my car, I start the engine and begin the few hours drive to my Nan's house.

She will have the right stuff to get these boys back in shape. I can't believe they drank my goofeyjizz.

"She's still so pretty," Sin mumbles as I turn onto the backroads. "She looks like she's evil incarnated… but still my heart skipped for her," he sighs and then soon a loud snore rips from his lips.

Astor has been passed out for awhile now, so I take the risk that they are asleep and won't see me open a teensy little portal to my nan's realm.

She's on the outskirts so I think we can get in and out undetected from my family and the guards.

The night sky changes to swirls of neon pinks and blues and yellows as I pull up in front of the small purple cottage with lollipops and horndrizzles covering the roof.

Parking, I open up my car door and breathe in the scent of timberflowers and smuckleberries. Ah it's nice to be home.

ASTOR

The car stops moving and my head feels as if an elephant sat on it. "Wakey wake chick's and bakey," Rus says into my ear and I bat him away. "Here put these on and then follow me into a magical place."

Peeking my eyes open I grab the weird sunglasses and accept them gratefully. The bright light goes away, and I sigh.

"Better bumblee?" Rus coos, and I nod.

He's always been eccentric, but deep down he's a good friend. He's always there when you need a laugh too.

"Fabu, now maybe you can help me wake up Princess Snoresalot."

I glance at my brother and laugh. He's got his mouth wide open, and Rus is right he sounds like some type of grizzly bear.

"Sin," I grunt, then slap him on the cheek a few times. Well slap isn't quite accurate. Tap? Yeah, that sounds better.

"Touch me again and I will feed your balls to the octopus down the lane," my twin mutters, and I snort.

"What the fuck you dreaming about bro?"

Rus gives him a shake, then dodges his fist just in time.

"I told you I don't want to play today," he whines, and I'm over this.

"Get up and get out of this car right this minute Arsen or so help me, I will post all your superhero obsessed days on your school bulletin board."

"Fine. Fuck!" Cirrus hands him a pair of glasses like mine and he slips them on.

"Keep those on at all times or you could become blind."

"What the fuck?" Sin grumbles while unbuckling his belt.

Exiting the car, I look around and I'm not sure what I'm seeing.

"Now, Rus, where the hell are we? Is that a unicorn?"

Rus laughs and starts to walk toward a cottage that looks like it's from that nursery rhyme about Hansel and Gretal.

"Come on, my Nan doesn't like to be kept waiting," he mutters and once Sin has decided to leave the car we stumble over the uneven path to a front door.

"This place is creepy," Sin mutters, and I have to agree. There are shadows everywhere and branches hanging in the pathway.

I trip over my own feet, and I'm about to hit the ground, but Rus grabs me in time.

"Seriously you two are worse than Hippogoblins."

"Hippo what?"

"It doesn't matter. You won't remember this night later anyways. A Hippogobblin has three left feet and won't stop squawking, but it never has anything good to say, so we ignore it."

"Bro, you are seriously mental," I mutter as we reach the door. From far away it looked like a pixie lived here, but now that we are in front of it, I can see it's huge.

Rus leans around me and does some weird knock. It reminds me of a song, but I can't think of it right now.

"Why are we here?" I ask. I should have questioned if he was kidnapping us earlier but my mind is starting to clear now.

"Well my little Petunia, you and Smoteler here drank my goofeyjizz and that's just not okay. I am stumped that you haven't bloated or changed color yet," he mumbles under his breath.

Arsen chokes on his spit. "We drank what?" he shouts and I cringe.

"Goofeyjizz. It's perfectly safe for me. Gives me a little pick me up when the old ticker is slowing."

"We did not drink your jizz and stop saying that so loudly."

Rus snorts, then rolls his eyes.

The door swings open, and the most beautiful woman stands there with long pink hair and the same violet eyes as Rus.

"Cirrus, do you know what time it is?" Placing her hands on her delicate hips, she purses her lips.

"Yes, sorry, Nan, I needed your most bountiful expertise."

Leaning down he places a kiss on her flawless cheek and she sighs, pulling him into a hug.

She's so tiny her head rests on his stomach.

"Fine, come inside. I'll put the kettle on."

Turning she leaves us and my feet immediately follow her. She's entrancing. Mesmerizing.

"I thought you said we were going to your grandmother's. Is she your sister? Cousin?"

Rus places his hand on my chest, stopping my progression, and I don't think I have ever seen my friend angry before.

"That is my grandmother and you better show her some respect and stop drooling like you're a Pisselhound."

Sin starts to laugh behind me, and I spin to smack him in the arm. "It's not funny," I grunt, and he shakes his head still laughing.

"Cirrus I don't have all night. I was busy ya know?"

"Come. Let's just dose you and then I can ditch your asses," Rus grumbles and walks deeper in the house. It's dark in here so we stumble after him, using the textured walls to guide us.

Walking into a weird kitchen there is a table with empty chairs waiting for us. I sit and Sin plops down next to me. "Can I take these glasses off now? It's rude to wear them inside."

"No!" Rus and his nan shout at the same time, making me jump.

"Okay, okay," I mumble, then yawn, wishing I could be home in bed already.

"Don't worry, Poppet, I will have you back in ship shape soon," Nan says, moving over to us with a giant tea-like kettle and Rus follows with some mugs.

"Now, drink up and swallow every drop like a good little mage."

She pours us a large cup of some sweet smelling tea and I take mine, blowing on the top. It's hot but when I take my first sip, it tastes like the coolest, freshest iced tea. Hmm.

"That's a good boy. Now close your eyes and let the remedy kick in."

I shut my eyes and sigh. The headache is now dissipating. Rus and his nan talk quietly, and I'm seriously about to fall asleep again.

"It's okay, buddy pie, I'll get ya home safe."

Those are the last words I remember him saying before I pass out.