22. Wildflower

22

Wildflower

Guess You're All Losers, Then.

Staring at the galaxy projector on my desk, I quickly realize that my shit excuse for parents really know nothing about their granddaughter at all.

In the newest round of whatever game my father's playing, he mailed Lou a Christmas gift. It arrived yesterday afternoon, and I quickly stashed it in my car before she got her hands on it and saw who it was from.

A card in the box stated it was a gift to "help her sleep at night", whatever the fuck that means. The most cynical parts of me think it's some kind of message, but what that message may be, I have no idea. What I do know is that Lou has never needed a nightlight. She can't sleep in anything but pitch black and total silence. She's also afraid of outer space and has a deep fear of aliens. This thing would scare the shit out of her, and you'd think that being a part of her daily life up until six months ago, my parents would've caught onto that.

I don't know if they're clueless or cruel, but either way, this thing has got to go. I brought it with me this morning to drop in the toy donation bin outside Heathen's when I leave.

My father texted me not long ago asking if I'd received the gift, and I told myself I would call him to get to the bottom of whatever fucking game he's playing. Thus far, I've not had the courage, but I've got to leave in an hour to pick Lou up from school early, and I'd rather this not be hanging over my head all afternoon.

Taking a deep breath and summoning all my strength, I pull up my father's contact and press call. He answers on the first ring, not bothering to greet me, cutting straight to the chase. "Dahlia, I assume you received the Christmas gift for my granddaughter?"

"Yep," I drawl. "Guess this is the year we're pushing her to get over her fear of the solar system, then?"

"What are you talking about?"

I roll my eyes, leaning back in my chair. "She has been scared of outer space her entire life. And she doesn't use a nightlight. If anything, this gift would traumatize her, not help her sleep better."

He's quiet for a moment, as if this information genuinely caught him off guard. "Your mother bought it." Of course, he'd blame my mom. "She researched good gifts for a nine-year-old girl." He clears his throat. "Maybe if we knew her better, had the opportunity to actually speak with her once in a—"

"I'm going to stop you there," I say. "You had nine and a half years to get to know her, and you never tried. You wanted nothing to do with her unless you needed to play the role of grandparent to further either your social or economical standing in Crestwell. You could've used any of those times to ask her questions about herself, gauge her interests."

"Dahlia." My father's tone is clipped and stern. "Do not victimize yourself here. You had no problem passing her off to us when you wanted your free time."

My stomach drops at that. He's so full of shit . I never passed her off to anyone. He'd demand time with her and have my mother coax me into it by telling me I deserved a day off.

"Not to mention all the financial support we provided you over the years."

Angry tears sting behind my eyes. Never have I encountered a person with quite the knack for manipulating the truth. The fucking king of gaslighting.

"Why are you doing this to me?" I ask.

"You know why, Dahlia."

I bite my lip, furiously wiping at my eyes and willing the emotion from my voice. Anything to appear unaffected by him. "Are you telling me that if I gave you back those files right now, if I burned that thumb drive, destroyed it, you'd leave us alone?"

"Despite what you may think of me, the gift for Lucille was genuine. I'll never not want a relationship with my grandchild." Liar. "But once we put this blackmail nonsense behind us, if you prefer I cease contact with you and your daughter, I'll respect that." He pauses before adding, "I could get Jason off your back too. You know, he's quite upset with your decision to move his child out of state without informing him."

"So you admit you told him in order to fuck with me?"

He clicks his tongue. "Don't cuss, Dahlia. It's unbecoming."

My hand tightens around the phone against my ear, yearning to crack it in half. He's impossible to talk to, impossible to battle with. It makes me want to scream. Despair and fear and dread war inside my bones, fighting for their place on top as I realize I'll never win with him. I'll never escape him. He'll never stop having this control over me, this ability to put me in my place and make me want to cower.

My phone vibrates, and I pull it away momentarily to check the notification. A message from Everett pops up across the screen, letting me know he's on his way over to Heathen's from the garage. I breathe a bit easier knowing he'll be here soon and this conversation with my father will be over; it brings me some ounce of comfort.

"You know who loves my unbecoming mouth, Dad?" I smile, feeling a wave of bravery wash through me. "Everett. You remember him, don't you? The man who had you pushed up against the wall, his elbow against your throat as you gasped for air?"

My father scoffs. "Whatever game you're playing doesn't phase me, Dahlia. I'm not interested in your flavor of the week."

"I've been enjoying him for many weeks now, actually."

"Save yourself the slightest amount of dignity, will you?" His tone drips with pure disgust. "I mean, I gave up hope for you some time ago, but you speak of being the village whore like it's something to be proud of." He sighs. "I don't know where we went wrong."

His voice is a razor blade along my skin, all of the bravery and courage and comfort dripping from my body, like blood seeping out of the wounds he leaves behind. I've lost another battle.

"I'm hanging up," I choke out, shaking with the tears I can no longer keep at bay.

As I pull my phone from my ear, I hear him say, "Don't act like that, and I won't have to respond so harshly. Have a civilized conversation for once and see how far we might get."

"Okay, fine." I will the trembling out of my voice as I say, "What do I have to do to never speak to you again? To get Jason off my back? To get you to leave us alone?"

"Give me back the thumb drive," he says immediately. "Ensure there are no duplicates of the information you obtained and prove that to me. I'll happily fly back out there to collect it myself."

"Really? That's it?"

"I want a conversation with your sister. I want to see her—without him around."

Of course, he does. Of course, he wants to see his golden child. His true daughter. He's all too happy to throw me away for good, but he'll fight for Darby.

"That's not up to me. That's up to her."

He lets out an incredulous laugh. "Is it? Because she seems to make every decision based on your guidance. If you told her to sit down and give me a chance, you know she would."

"You are terrified," I scoff. "You're getting desperate. You know the moment she's married, you'll have well and truly lost her. Once her last name is Graham, you'll lose any chance you think you still have of getting your perfect child back. That's what this is all about, isn't it? We both know I'm only really blackmailing you to keep you away from her." I can't stop the hot tears from running down my cheeks now. I want him to hear the emotion in my voice, hear how much he has broken me. "And from Leo. Because I know you better than you think I do. I know there are no lengths you won't reach to get that control back. I mean, fuck." A wretched laugh escapes me. "You're using your own grandchild as a weapon. Bringing Jason back into the picture? Threatening my custody? That's all a ploy, right? Hoping to get her and me back in Kansas with the assumption Darby will follow? You know how awful Jason is, and you'd actually put Lou at risk if it meant the slightest possibility of Darby coming home."

My voice cracks, nearly three decades of heartbreak flooding out of me.

The black sheep.

The lost cause.

The ruined goods.

Worthless .

"All because the only thing you've ever really cared about is her." I swallow, my throat constricting.

My father doesn't bother responding.

"Well, unfortunately for you, all I've ever really cared about is Darby too. So, no deal. Leave me alone. Leave my child alone. Leave my sister and my brother-in-law the fuck alone. Or I'll take your precious little files, with all your fucking fraud, right to the authorities. I hope you've cleared those offshore accounts, Daddy."

My father doesn't deny anything I've said, doesn't try to hide it or cover it up.

At least now I know exactly where things stand.

He simply responds, "You won't do that, Dahlia. I know you won't." There's a pause, and I know it's because he's readying himself to drop whatever bomb will obliterate me next. "Because you're still holding out for the one thing you've never gotten from me…" I can feel his cruel smile, can see it in my mind. "My approval."

A sob rips out of me, and I clamp a hand over my mouth to stop it.

How did I get here?

How did I let him win again?

"All you've got to do, Dahlia, darling, is come back home. All three of you."

I can't listen to another word of it. I can't keep playing his games. I pull the phone from my ear, ending the call before tossing it across my office in a fit of frustration. Another wail escapes me as I sink to the ground behind my desk.

Suddenly, my door is thrown open, and Everett appears. His eyes work rapidly to take in the scene before stopping at my face. Cataloging my tears, my trembling limbs, and heaving breaths, he's immediately slamming the door closed, taking purposeful steps to remove the space between us. When he reaches me, he sinks to his knees.

"What happened, Wildflower?" My mouth opens, but it's another sob that escapes. His eyes are frantic, darting around the room in search of the source of my pain. He sports a desperate expression when he looks back at me, pleading and begging for an explanation. "Tell me who did this."

I shake my head; words are beyond me.

Leaning back against the wall, Everett wraps his arms around my waist and pulls me against his chest. I fall into his lap, my tears soaking his warm skin as I bury my face in his neck.

One of his hands comes around the back of my head, soothing me as he brushes his fingers through my hair. "It's okay, baby. I've got you."

"Can you come in with me?" I ask. "I can't deal with Tana alone right now."

Everett gives me a soft nod from the passenger seat of my car as I pull into the school lot. In addition to all of the other shit I've been hiding, I haven't told anyone about the note left on my car after Lou's soccer game weeks ago. It never happened again, so I figured it wasn't something worth getting everyone up in arms about.

I'm convinced it's the other parents from Lou's school, their weird, sick way of hazing the new girls in town. I can't be sure that the note was aimed at me and me alone; they could've been referring to Darby too. But apparently, happiness and regularly scheduled orgasms have provided her with a no-fucks-given attitude, because she has taken well to ignoring the rumors and sideways stares.

The people whispering around town that she's pregnant—that Leo only proposed so early to do the right thing by her because she trapped him—particularly upset me. As if these fucking assholes have any idea what she has gone through.

Despite Everett and Leo's insistence that Tana's disdain for me is due to some teenage grudge, I refuse to believe anyone is actually that petty. Plus, the real answer is clear as day to me; I'm used to it. I had a kid at nineteen. Even though I'm twenty-nine and she can't be a day over thirty-five, she's only ever going to see me as a trashy teen mom.

Tana also happens to be the receptionist at the elementary school, meaning in order to sign Lou out, I've got to interact with her. I don't want to believe that Tana and her group of petty parents would be the ones leaving threatening notes on the hood of my car, but I can't imagine it being anyone else.

Well, that's not true. My father would do that, but he's not here.

So, that leaves them. With everything else that's gone on today and the need to plaster a happy smile on my face when I see my kid, I can't face Tana alone.

After breaking down in Everett's arms in my office, I told him everything about the conversation with my dad—leaving out the blackmail, of course. Because nobody knows about that, not even my sister. I know if I told Darby and Leo, they'd insist I return the thumb drive to get my father off my back. Darby wouldn't support me turning him in. Despite all he's done to us, she wouldn't be able to do that to him. As pathetic as it is, he might've been right in assuming I can't do it either.

I know she and Leo would insist they fight this battle themselves. Leo has no fear, but he doesn't know my dad. That man used me once before to tear them apart, and they lost ten years because of it. I can't risk him finding a way to do it again. I owe that to the two of them.

I told Everett everything else, though, every gross detail of my father's words and motives. For the first time in my life, I allowed someone else to see how worthless I am in my parent's eyes. The throwaway kid—the lost cause.

He held me through it, whispering reassurances in my ear. I could see rage and devastation on his face, but he didn't voice any opinions of his own. He only listened.

I've never had someone do that for me either.

"Anything, baby." He reaches out to take my hand, running his thumb over the back of it. "Do you want me to just go in and grab her? You can wait in the car."

I tighten my fingers around his. "You can't." I sigh. "There is an approved pick-up list, and anyone not on it can't leave the building with the student. The only people on my list are Darby and your mom."

He nods, opening the passenger side door and rounding the car to open mine. He holds his hand out to me, pulling me from the car and lacing his fingers through my own. He doesn't let go as we walk through the parking lot into the school.

Tana's head snaps up from her desk as we step through the front entrance. The cheerful greeting on her face dies as she realizes it's me before she recovers with a false smile. "Dahlia, hi." Long, dark hair is pulled back into a clean bun, her brown eyes crinkling in the corners when she forces a grin. "What can I help you with?"

"I'm here to pick up Lou. I'm sneaking her out a bit early." I don't mean for my tone to come out flat and hard, but it does anyway. I can't fake it today.

Everett's hand tightens around mine, as if he can sense it too.

Tana begins typing something into the computer in front of her. "Is there an official reason you're picking her up before the school day has concluded?"

"Because I'm her mother and I can take her out of class if I'd like to," I snap back.

I can feel the judgment seeping off her. I understood the undertones in her question, her questioning of my parenting skills because I'm letting my kid play hooky.

Truthfully, I don't have a good reason for taking her out other than it's the Friday before Christmas break, and I've done this ever since Lou started school. I take a half day from work, I pick her up early, and we make gingerbread houses while watching our favorite holiday movies. I realized pretty early on that childhood flies by far too fast, and missing three hours of school is a small price to pay in exchange for family tradition.

Especially when I brought her into a shit excuse for a family, with no tradition to speak of. This is our tradition with my sister, and for the first time in her life, she asked others to be included. She wanted Leo, Everett, and their parents to join us, and there was no way I'd take that away from her, even if it meant she was missing class.

Tana's hands pause on her keyboard, and her eyes flutter up to me. "When I sign her out for the day, it asks me to enter a reason for the absence. I was only asking."

"Sorry." I sigh. "She's, uh, she's not feeling well."

Tana humphs but doesn't say more.

"While I'm here, can I go ahead and add a couple of people to her pick-up list as well? You should have Darby Andrews and Monica Ramos already listed."

"We do," Tana responds without looking up from the computer. "Who would you like to add?"

"Everett Ramos and Leo Graham."

Her head snaps up at the same time Everett's whips sideways. "Really?" Tana asks.

I turn to face Everett. "If you'd like to. I just figured…"

I trust you is what I really want to say.

And again, like the man can read my mind, he smiles. "Thank you."

Tana snorts, shaking her head. "And to think we were all taking bets on how long you two would last." She smiles at me, but I see the sneer beneath it. "Looks like you're proving us wrong."

"I'm sorry, what?" Everett asks, tone dripping with disgust. "You were placing bets on the relationships of parents your children go to school with?"

"N–Not just me," she backtracks quickly. "Just some of the other parents from the soccer team. It was all in good fun. No harm meant."

"It's fucking weird," he mutters.

Tana has the good sense to look embarrassed. I remain quiet, though, because I'm in no way surprised.

After a moment of awkward silence, she clears her throat and says, "I've added Everett and Leo to the approved pick-up list. Her teacher has been notified that she's leaving early. She should be up here in a few minutes."

"Thanks," I respond, tone clipped. "We'll wait in the lobby."

As I turn back toward the doors, Everett calls out, "Oh, and Tana—whoever bet on forever is going to win the pot."

"Nobody bet on forever," she chimes back.

He laughs under his breath. "Guess you're all losers, then."

If I'm not mistaken, I think I hear her gasp at his comment, but we're both laughing as we push through the office doors and out into the school's lobby. Everett takes a seat beside me as we wait for my daughter.

"You know, maybe when this whole fake dating thing is over, I can hire you on as my bodyguard instead," I muse. "You really handed her ass to her."

"Don't be silly, Wildflower." He smiles at me as he tosses his arm over my shoulder and pulls me against his chest. "We're gonna have to date forever now so we can prove those assholes wrong."