12. Roman

12

ROMAN

" G ood choice." Tristan paced around my new car, admiring it from all angles. "Copying me and Knox with the matte-black theme, I see."

"Nah, my cousins were doing the matte-black thing before you two could even drive." I smoothed a hand across the sleek lines of the passenger door. "It looks fucking amazing, doesn't it?"

Knox glanced over at Tristan, smirking, and then turned to me. "I prefer to be higher up, but I can't deny it's a fucking gorgeous machine."

I rolled my eyes. "Yeah, we all know you like to overcompensate by having a ridiculously oversized car."

"Fuck you. You know that's a blatant lie. You've seen the size of my dick," Knox said way too loudly, catching the attention of Saunders, our lacrosse coach, who was crossing the car park.

"Enough talk about dicks, Ashcroft. You're supposed to be getting ready for practice. I want you out on the field in five minutes!" he bellowed. We all jumped to do his bidding, Tristan and me laughing at Knox because we were assholes.

By the time practice was over, I was in need of some relaxation before I took my new wheels for a spin. The three of us congregated in the crypts, collapsing back on the sofas. The air was much cooler down here with the ancient stone surrounding us. It was just what I needed, my body still overheated from our gruelling training session, even though I'd showered afterwards.

"Fucking hell, Saunders was on one today. I can't feel my legs," Tristan whined.

"Stop whining," I told him, even though I felt the same.

Knox kicked his legs up on the coffee table. "You need to work on your stamina. I feel fine."

"I get more action than the two of you put together, so don't start with that shit," Tristan said.

"Yeah? I don't think Elena would agree with you…"

I tuned out their bickering. Their words had unlocked a memory, and thoughts I'd been pushing aside poured into my brain unchecked.

Quinn's hot mouth around my cock. That fucking blank spot in my brain. Her total avoidance of me ever since—yeah, she'd been avoiding me before, but this felt different. She'd gone out of her way to make sure we didn't cross paths, and it felt as if Knox and Tristan had been working to keep me away from her at the same time. Add to the fact that the usual wannabe goddesses and elite hangers-on had been surrounding me and my friends all week, and I hadn't managed to get near Quinn since my return to Hatherley Hall.

The truth was, I had no fucking clue what to do or what to even say to her. We hadn't resolved anything before I'd left her on the boat, and then I'd done something that was unforgivable in her eyes. But I couldn't explain my actions because I didn't know why I'd acted the way I had, either. Yeah, she'd hurt me and all that other shit, but I wasn't that much of a callous asshole to leave anyone stranded at sea, let alone a girl who'd meant fucking everything to me once.

Groaning, I rubbed my hand across my face. When I lowered it, I found Knox and Tristan staring at me.

"What?"

They exchanged glances, and I gritted my teeth.

"If you've got something to say, just say it."

Tristan cleared his throat. "Look, man. I saw Quinn yesterday, and she's pissed off. Understandably. I guess…we're having trouble getting our heads around what happened, y'know? How is it you can't remember?"

I let my eyes fall closed, my head thumping back against the sofa. "I don't know what you want me to say. There's no way I would've left her, not on purpose. My cousin Cade asked if my drink had been spiked. It…fucking hell, I brushed it off, but the more I think about it, the more I'm wondering if it's true. It's like there's a fucking black hole in my head."

"Fuck. You really think someone would've spiked your drink? Who and why?"

My fists clenched as I reluctantly opened my eyes to meet Tristan's gaze. "I don't fucking know , okay? None of it makes sense."

Knox was frowning, his bottom lip pulled between his teeth. "I don't like this. If, and it's a big if, someone did spike your drink, they must've had a reason. Let me do some digging. Speak to a few people, see if I can pick up any vibes."

"Yeah. I'll do the same," Tristan agreed. "I dunno about the whole spiking thing, but it was way out of character for you. You're an asshole, and you get yourself into shit a lot?—"

"A whole fucking lot," Knox added, and I glared at them both.

Tristan continued. "But I don't think you'd go that far. I know you have morals, even if you deny it, and you like Quinn too much for that. You want her, even now."

I gritted my teeth. "I don't fucking like or want her. She burned all her bridges with me."

Knox swung his legs off the coffee table, shifting in his seat. His gaze flicked to Tristan, although he was addressing me. "You sure this wasn't some kind of fucked-up revenge you were taking and your mind just blanked it out?"

"Fucking hell, I can't believe you're even asking me that." I launched myself to my feet, too fucking pissed off to stay in this room with my "friends" for one second longer. "Fuck you both."

Storming up the stairs, ignoring my protesting muscles, I exited the crypts, the heavy wooden door slamming shut behind me.

I was only vaguely aware of going to the room I shared with Tristan, stripping out of my clothes on autopilot and pulling on my Hatherley Hall swim team shorts. The shorts I hadn't been able to bring myself to throw away, even though I'd been kicked off the team. I threw on waterproof clothes over the top, then helped myself to Tristan's heavy raincoat. Grabbing my swim bag, which was already packed, I left everything else behind. I needed some fucking peace. I needed the silence that only being in the water could bring.

The rain lashed against my face as I left Hatherley Hall behind, but I barely even noticed its sting. When I reached the cover of the trees, I took a second to catch my breath before making my way down to the lakeshore.

I wasted no time in stripping down, and then, taking note of the weather, I jogged back to the tree line to leave everything under the shelter of thick, heavy branches. That done, I ran for the lake, diving off the edge of the jetty, submerged in seconds.

The swirling, angry clouds unleashing their vengeance disappeared in the stillness of the deep centre of the lake. Everything around me was dark, the visibility almost non-existent, but I knew this lake well, and I finally felt at peace.

I cut through the water with ease, the methodical strokes calming my mind, and with that calm came a sense of complete fucking clarity.

My cousin's intuition had been right. I hadn't been blackout drunk. It didn't fit. If I had been drinking, I would've at least remembered part of the night after those few scrambled moments after my return to the lighthouse.

But after that first drink, I drew a blank. There was no one with the motivation to spike my drink. I was one of the fucking gods of Hatherley Hall. Who would even dare to do that to me?

I swam until my lungs felt as if they were going to burst, and then I emerged from the lake, gulping in air and rainwater while thunder rumbled overhead.

Fuck. Thunder . I needed to leave the lake before lightning struck. I loved the water, but I didn't have a death wish. Swimming to the edge of the jetty, I gripped the wooden boards, slippery from the rain, and pulled myself out of the lake. Water sluiced from my body, my hair plastered to my head as I stood there, drenched from head to toe.

It was refreshing. Cleansing. Exactly what I fucking needed.

I took a step towards the shore, the weathered boards creaking underfoot, but stopped dead when I saw the small, huddled figure covered by a huge raincoat standing at the far end of the jetty.

I ran. My feet slipped on the slick surface, but somehow, I kept my balance, reaching Quinn in seconds.

My arms wrapped around her shivering body, pulling her into me. She beat her wrists against my chest, screaming into the wind and rain, and I didn't try to stop her, but I didn't let her go.

Her struggles eventually ceased, and she slumped against me. "I hate you so much," she cried, her tears hot against the chilled skin of my collarbone. "You ruined everything. I can't go anywhere without being reminded of you."

"I know," I murmured, pushing back her hood enough that I could kiss the top of her head.

She trembled, and whether it was in anger or from the cold, I wasn't sure, but I wrapped my arms more tightly around her.

Her head lifted, and the devastation and utter betrayal on her face made me fucking choke on the sudden lump in my throat. "You left me there . Why did you leave me, Roman? Why? How could you be so fucking cruel ?"

"I-I didn't know. I was going to come back for you, I promise. I left to get help."

"But you didn't. You left me," she sobbed. "I'll never forgive you. Never."

My jaw clenched. I fucking hated myself in that moment. "I'll never forgive me, either."

"Roman." Her arms went around my neck, and suddenly, we were kissing, and I never fucking wanted it to end.