20. Reagan

Chapter 20

Reagan

J ust as I close my notes, my phone buzzes in my hand. It is what it is. I’m either going to pass the upcoming calculus quiz, or I’m not. I can’t stare at those equations any longer. I also find it interesting that Penn is in fucking Calculus II. But this deal I entered into with him has taken some of the stress off about getting exceptional grades, so I might be able to get a job that would help me support myself and Reese and facilitate our move.

“Hey, sis,” I greet Reese on video call, trying to suppress any worry lingering on the edge of my voice. I want her to enjoy herself, to feel like everything is fine. I want to protect her in any way I can, but she’s not stupid. She knows I’m not telling her everything.

What am I supposed to say? Oh, things are still just fine. My husband’s brother is in a coma, his dad is the antichrist, and I still haven’t found enough leverage to hold over Dad’s head.

“Reagan! Oh my God, did you open yours yet? I’m so excited. Did you tell him I only like the blue Jolly Ranchers?” Reese holds up a zip-lock bag that is filled to the brim with just blue Jolly Ranchers. Reese pulls on the collar of the light pink pajama shirt she’s wearing and tells me, “The pajamas fit perfect too and look! Did you get the same flavor?” Reese chirps excitedly, showing me white cheddar popcorn dust.

“What are you talking about? Who sent that?” I try to mask my concern because I don’t want to kill her buzz, but my big sister instincts are kicking in. “And don’t eat candy from a zip-lock bag. They could be tampered with.” My stomach twists. I don’t want to steal her joy, but I know how our father is. I wouldn’t put it past him drugging her just to fuck with me.

“No, it’s really fine. It’s from Penn. I’m officially declaring him my brother!” Reese gushes, and I raise an eyebrow in surprise. “You have one too. The note he sent me said so. Sorry I spoiled what’s inside. I was just really excited.”

Before I can say anything, Ramsey peeks his head into my room. “Did someone say blue Jolly Ranchers?” If his eyes didn’t light up like a small child at the mention of the candy, I’d forget that he lurks around watching everyone like it’s his favorite TV show.

“Penn sent them,” Reese gloats, holding up the bag, and I tip the phone so Ramsey can see my sister. He scowls that she has a gallon sized bag of his favorite candy, but then…he notices her. I see something click in his expression that I recognize as the fucking Blackwood obsession gene activating.

“Don’t you have someone’s house to be hacking or whatever the fuck it is you do in all your free around time?” I snap at Ramsey because I don’t like the way my baby sister is looking all googly eyed at him like his broad shoulders and height have turned her into a bobble head.

Ramsey doesn’t tear his eyes away from my phone to answer me with his usually snarky comebacks, so I turn the phone toward my chest and ignore the bratty, “hey! I was talking to him.”

Ramsey grins slyly at me, backing up toward my door with a shrug of his shoulders. “It’s fine,” he looks down at his wrist to check the imaginary watch he isn’t wearing. “I have some free time coming up. I can hack her phone I guess.”

“Don’t you do it, Ramsey Blackwood!” but I already hear him clomping down the hall. He’s got plenty of puck bunnies on campus waiting in line for him, so I’m sure he’ll forget about Reese by the time he makes it down to the room he and the guys play their video games in.

“So Penn sent you a care package?” I ask, holding the phone back up to look at my sister, hoping I can distract her with whatever the fuck Penn has done with the Jolly Ranchers and pjs. I’m not computing the information I’m being given right now. “Definitely do not eat anything in that box,” I say, not really meaning it.

Operation keep Ramsey away from Reese seems to have worked because she moves the phone to show me the box with contents spilling out of it. “Yes! He’s so sweet! But that’s not even the best part, and we’re having a movie night via video call!” Reese continues, her innocent enthusiasm cutting through my guarded exterior.

“That sounds…very nice of my husband.” I can’t help but let a small smile grace my lips as I consider the idea of Penn genuinely caring for both of us. The thought stirs something inside me, something I haven’t allowed myself to feel in a long time. Maybe ever.

I sense him before I see him. I look over and see a mischievous glint sparkles in Penn’s worry shadowed eyes as he leans against the doorframe, one hand tucked inside his back pocket. The other holds a neatly wrapped box, adorned with a crimson bow. “I hear you’re having a movie night, hellfire,” he drawls, smirking with an air of self-satisfaction.

I eye the package warily, my gaze flicking between the gift and Penn’s face. “What’s the catch?” I ask, suspicion lacing my voice.

“You act like I drugged you and married you against your will or something…crazy,” he replies, extending the box toward me and Reese erupts into giggles at the absurdity of his statement. I hope she never finds out what really happened between Penn and myself because she genuinely thinks he’s a standup guy. I hesitate for a moment before accepting it, curiosity getting the better of me. As I peel away the wrapping paper, I discover cozy pajamas, an assortment of gourmet snacks, and a small slip of paper containing login information for the movie we’ll be watching.

I don’t know what to even say to all of this. I’ve gotten to know this man, and nothing about his demeanor is telling me that he has any kind of ulterior motive. The truth is, I feel touched by his thoughtfulness, even if I won’t admit it out loud.

“Very funny, Blackwood,” I mutter, rolling my eyes. Yet, despite myself, I feel my lips curl into a genuine smile. A strange warmth spreads through my chest as I realize that Penn has taken the time to think about my needs, rather than just focusing on his own amusement. How he found out about the blue Jolly Ranchers is beyond me, but I suspect his cousin Ramsey is behind that one.

“Thank you, Penn,” I murmur softly, surprising both of us by pulling him into a tight hug.

Penn stiffens at first, clearly caught off guard by the unexpected display of affection. But after a moment, he relaxes into the embrace, his arms wrapping around my waist. “You’re welcome, hellfire,” he whispers, his voice barely audible.

As we pull apart, I can feel my cheeks flush. I quickly busy myself with examining the snacks, hoping to regain some semblance of control over the situation and my emotions. Penn, on the other hand, can’t help but smirk at my reaction, probably realizing that something has shifted between us.

“Alright, I’ll go change and then let’s get this movie night started,” I announce and hand him my phone to keep Reese entertained while I disappear into the adjoining room. He’s standing in the doorway, a sly grin playing on his lips.

The motherfucker is too pleased with himself; I fear.

When I return to my room, I hear Reese say, her voice full of excitement, “how’s school going? I hope I can come visit soon.”

“School’s going well, little hellion,” Penn replies, leaning against the doorframe as I continue dressing. “I’m going to make sure you get to see your sister soon I promise.”

“I can’t wait. I’ve been worried about Rae,” Reese chimes in, genuine concern lacing her words.

“Alright kiddo, are you ready for movie night?” I ask, attempting to steer the conversation away from the topic of anything serious.

“Absolutely! I’ve got my popcorn and everything,” Reese giggles, her enthusiasm infectious. “I’m so excited we can do this even though I’m miles away.”

“Me too,” I agree, trying to keep my voice steady. I glance at Penn, who is still watching me intently, and feel my heart race. “Penn’s going to join us, right?” I look at him expectantly because he hasn’t really given me an indication either way. I feel vulnerable in a good way, and I never thought I’d have that thought .

“Of course he is! I cheated and peaked. He picked our favorite scary movie,” Reese says cheerfully and then wiggles her eyebrows suggestively before she adds, “Billy Loomis could totally get it.”

“Reese Annabelle. There will be no getting it with anyone. Even fictional characters. Focus on school.”

My heart skips a beat as Penn’s eyes bore into mine, his tall frame filling the doorway. The soft glow of the overhead light casts a warm halo around him, making him seem more angelic than he has any right to be. I take a deep breath, hoping to settle my nerves.

“Must be genetic,” he says with a quiet laugh, his eyes locking onto mine as he walks toward the bed as I crawl up and move some pillows to the bottom.

“She’ll learn when she’s older that Randy was boyfriend material,” I say, and I can’t help but laugh when both Reese and Penn give me incredulous looks. I move over to make room for Penn, and I hand him the remote.

As Penn lays down on his stomach beside me, our shoulders brush, sending a jolt of lust through my body. I try to focus on the movie, but it’s impossible with him so close. Every time he shifts or breathes, I’m hyper-aware of his presence. It’s both exhilarating and terrifying.

Penn’s laughter fills the room, deep and rich, every time Ghostface has a funny line, and I find myself smiling despite my racing thoughts. Maybe, just maybe, this isn’t as complicated as I’m making it out to be.

As the credits roll, Reese’s voice crackles through the phone. “That was so much fun! We have to do this more often.”

“We will,” I promise, feeling a sense of contentment settle over me .

“I’m gonna let you enjoy the rest of your night,” she says softly, unable to contain her yawn.

“Goodnight sleepyhead,” I tell her, ending the call.

With the movie over and the connection to Reese severed, the room feels strangely quiet. Penn and I lay on the bed in silence for a moment, neither of us willing to break the peaceful atmosphere. I glance over at him, my heart pounding in my chest.

“So,” I start, my voice a little shaky. “Thanks for tonight, Penn. It was... nice.”

“It was,” he agrees, his eyes soft as they meet mine. “I wanted to thank you for being here for me with all the shit going on with Graham. No one’s ever—.” Penn cuts himself off, almost as if he thinks he’s said too much.

I just smile before I say, “I know that feeling.”

For a moment, we just lay there, the tension between us palpable. Then, slowly, Penn brings his hand up to stroke the side of my face. I lean into his touch, something I can genuinely say I’ve never done with anyone else. His fingers slide through my hair, and I feel him shift toward me. He’s huge, but right now he feels impossibly large lying beside me. I mimic him, moving my hand to the side of his face and I’m surprised when his eyes flutter shut and dips his face to lean into my fingertips.

He’s really pretty and I think with all the chaos he causes sometimes it’s hard to see that. I trace my fingers around his face, stroking over his nose and tracing his lips. I feel him take in a sharp breath and his fingers flex in my hair. This is the most intimate I’ve ever been with anyone and the fact that it’s with Penn Blackwood almost makes me burst out into hysterical laughter.

Penn leans in, his face inches from mine. My breath hitches, my heart hammering in my chest. Every instinct screams at me to pull back, to protect myself. But I don’t. I can’t.

And then his lips are on mine, soft and warm, sending a shockwave of emotion through me. It’s gentle at first, tentative, as though he’s testing the waters which feels silly to even think because of the things we’ve done and said to each other. I respond, wrapping my arms around his neck and pulling him closer. The kiss deepens, growing more urgent, more desperate.

When we finally pull apart, both of us are breathing hard, our foreheads resting against each other. “Hellfire,” he whispers, his voice thick with emotion. “I...”

But I don’t let him finish. Instead, I press my lips to his once more, silencing any doubts or fears that may linger in either of our minds. I don’t want the mood to change. I don’t want either one of us to be able to slip our masks back on and pull our guards back up.

Penn gives in, relaxing against me and pulling me to him all at the same time. He pulls my leg up over his hip, letting me feel the weight and heat of his hard cock against me. He’s not rushed, not focused on dominating me or getting inside of me. His fingers are exploring my skin, pulling me closer with every stroke of his hand.

“Let’s have a truce, just for tonight,” I tell him, and he mumbles his agreement into my mouth, unwilling to break our kiss.

Because in this moment, I think we both realize that we need each other.