Chapter 6

6

Maddie

" S o, there's another murder victim?" Celeste asks when we walk into the bar together.

I give her a nod and take a seat at one of the first tables I come to. I can't help but stare at the door behind the bar with longing, the one that leads to the kitchen.

But there's no way I can go back in there just yet. I shut down all new orders last night and gave refunds to the ones pending that I won't be able to send out. I hated it but didn't have a choice since I'll need to reorder supplies and gather up enough courage to actually step foot in the kitchen again.

"You want a drink?" Celeste asks.

"God, yes."

"Anything specific?" she asks heading behind the bar.

"Is it too early for shots?"

"Not on days we have to deal with dead bodies."

"In that case, whatever is the strongest, please."

"A bottle of Fireball coming right up," she says. I assume she's referring to that strong-ass cinnamon whiskey that scalds the throat and stomach.

"Sounds perfect," I reply. While she grabs the bottle and two shot glasses, I tell her, "I'm surprised that Greer let you come to the bar alone with all that's going on."

"Oh, no, hun. I'm not alone," she says when she comes over, sliding the glasses and bottle in front of me before taking the seat across from me. "Greer's upstairs looking through surveillance footage. He'd hear me if I scream."

"Oh, shit. I forgot about that. Has he found anything?" I ask while she pours.

"No, not yet. He probably should have turned the video over to the cops, but he told them the cameras were fake ones meant to scare off thieves." She swallows down her shot faster than I can pick mine up. "I think the murderer destroyed the cameras."

My glass pauses halfway to my mouth. "Destroyed them?"

"Yes. Greer's been going over footage looking for potential suspects since last night with no luck."

I gulp down the shot, surprised when actual flames don't shoot out of my burning nostrils. "Damn," I mutter, scrunching up my nose but sliding my glass toward Celeste for a refill.

"Doesn't RJ have surveillance at the shop too?" she asks while pouring.

"I think so. One on the front door like a doorbell thing," I reply. "But now that you mention it, I was so focused on the tongue nailed to the door that I barely noticed the empty spot on the door where the camera is supposed to be."

Celeste's head jerks up so fast she overfills a glass, spilling the amber liquid on the table. "A tongue was nailed to the door of the shop? Like an actual…person's tongue?"

"Yes."

"Wow." She goes back to filling our glasses. When I pick mine up, she clangs it with hers in cheers before we shoot them. This one has us both coughing afterward.

After Celeste recovers, she says, "Well, thank goodness there wasn't a tongue on the bar's door. I'm not sure if I would've been able to come in here again."

"No kidding," I agree. It's going to be hard enough to go back to working in the kitchen.

"So, has the sheriff's office identified the second man yet?"

"Yes, and guess what? Jordan knew him!" I vaguely notice that the volume of my voice has risen to twice its normal levels thanks to the alcohol warming my stomach.

"What?"

"The dead guy is, was, a private investigator."

"Oh," she mutters. "And Jordan hired him?"

I nod while reaching for the bottle and chugging the amber liquid right from it. My entire body shivers when I stop. "Yes."

"Jordan hired the PI to look into you?"

"Bingo!" I take another swig then pass the bottle to Celeste. "I can't believe he asked a stranger to dig up information on me. That's probably how he found me."

"I'm sure that Jordan didn't mean any harm when he did it."

"I know he didn't. And he's right. I should have told him how dangerous my father is and that this would happen if he poked around. But I'm still so mad at him for bringing him right to our doorstep!"

"Why kill the two men though, if it was your father or someone acting on his orders?"

I give her a shrug. "I don't know. Maybe because the PI knew who I really was. I don't know why my father, or his torturer do what they do, or why they have to make it so…gruesome." Grabbing her hand on the bottle of Fireball, I tell her, "I am so, so sorry you and Greer had to close the bar yesterday because of me."

"It wasn't your fault," Celeste tells me again giving my hand a reassuring pat of hers. "Sure, you could have maybe told Jordan more about your life before you met him, but I get wanting to hide your head in the sand and try to pretend nothing but the present is your life. That's how I ended up here in Rockland, at this bar actually."

"What do you mean?"

"I was living out of my car, running from place to place, hiding from my own demons."

"Oh. I didn't know. You paid for a private plane..."

"I didn't touch any of my money after I ran. It was too risky, I didn't want..." She trails off and chugs straight from the bottle.

"You didn't want anyone to find you?"

Celeste uses the back of her hand to wipe her mouth before passing the bottle back to me. "Exactly. So, I get where you're coming from, how you just want to move on with your life and forget the past. But unfortunately, life doesn't work that way. And my past nearly killed me and Greer. Thankfully he's in prison now."

I consider her words as I take another big gulp. "My father, his employee, they'll never end up in prison. I think they would rather die first."

"Then they're even more dangerous than I assumed."

"They are," I agree. "And I don't know what to do. Last night I packed my things, what few things I own, and was going to leave. But Jordan talked me out of it, convinced me to stay with him. Now, I'm so angry at him, but I don't want to leave like this, during an argument. It doesn't seem right."

"God, I honestly have no idea what you should do, Maddie."

Folding my arms on the table, I lay my head down on them. "I wish I could convince Jordan to just leave with me, to go somewhere and start over again."

"You'll just be delaying the inevitable. For the short term you may think you'll be happy, but aren't you tired of having to constantly look over your shoulder?"

"Yes. But I don't want to go back to my old life either. My father, there's no way he would ever let me stay here. And um, his employee is sort of part of the reason why I ran away."

"Oh, wow. The torturer did something bad to you?"

"Something bad, but also good if that makes any sense?"

"Bad but good?"

I think back to that night that feels like a million years ago. "It was…unexpected for him to attack me out of the blue, but I liked it. I hate that I liked it, but I did. Then, after it was over, I realized that the only reason he did it was because he wanted my father to catch him, to catch us, so he would kill him. He was using me to hurt my father, to make him so angry he would snap and kill him so he would finally be free."

"Be free?" she asks softly.

"It's not like my father pays the man to do his dirty work. He owns him for a past offense against my father. Daddy didn't kill him because he wanted to make an example out of him, punish him for years rather than take his life in a single moment. I understand how much he hates my father. I just wish he hadn't used me as part of his sick sort of revenge. I left after it happened because I wanted to be free too, and I didn't want to be the reason my father killed him. I guess I felt sorry for him and didn't want him to end his life that way."

"It sounds like you maybe…care for him."

"How could anyone care for a monster who scoops out men's eyeballs before he kills them?"

"Maybe because he wasn't a monster to you. Or, if he was, it was the good kind of monster?"

I cover my face with my palm as my skin warms in embarrassment. "Jordan is so sweet and gentle with me. That's what I should want. That's all I should want. He doesn't know...I never told him who was my first."

"Maybe you should. Being honest with the people you love isn't always easy, but it's the only way for you to truly be happy. And free."

Lifting my head from my arms, I admit to her, "If I'm completely honest with Jordan, I think I would lose him."

"That's always a concern," Celeste agrees. "But if you keep lying, the lies will eventually suck all the happiness from your life."

Nodding, I tell her, "Everything is going to hell anyway. Tonight, I'll tell Jordan everything. The worst that can happen is he'll tell me to leave, to get out of town without him. And if that keeps him safe then I'll be glad for it, even if it means I'll never see him again."

"Good luck," she says with a small smile before refilling our glasses as if we haven't chugged half the bottle.

"Thanks for the talk and the shots," I tell her as I salute her and pour the liquid down my throat. The fact that it no longer burns should concern me.

"Anytime. That's what friends are for."

"So, you're not just plying me with alcohol to try to get me to spill my guts to you so Greer can tell the Kings?"

"No way. Greer doesn't need to know about anything you tell me. It's not like I want him or the Kings out there in the streets searching for a psycho killer who cuts out eyes and tongues. I say they should let the sheriff's office handle this one. Or you."

"Me?" I ask with a puff of laughter.

"You may not think you can handle it, your father, but you can. You're a grown woman, Maddie, even if he still thinks of you as his baby girl. Maybe it's time to show him that you are your own person, that you've built a life for yourself here, and that you don't want him to mess it up."

I laugh at the thought of standing up to my father, the mafia king. The man has a temper like none other. I think that was another reason why I fell for Jordan so fast. He didn't get angry or yell at me for every little thing. He let me go wherever I wanted, do what I wanted.

And while I know Jordan is protective of me, he'll always give me space if I ask for it without putting up a fight or breathing over my shoulder. He's a good, gentle man who would never do anything to hurt me.

So why does a small part of me wish Jordan would occasionally be a little bit…bad?