Chapter 3

3

Maddie

J ordan offers to take me home as soon as the Kings meeting is over. While most of the bikers are going to Hugo's house to do some drinking because Greer's bar is still a crime scene, I know that Jordan figured I wouldn't want to be social this afternoon.

And he probably thinks I'll be more open to talking to him if we're alone.

Instead of talking, though, as soon as we get to the apartment, I grab one of his biggest duffle bags from the closet, toss it on the bed, and start packing.

"You're not leaving," Jordan says as he watches from the doorway, his shoulder leaning against the frame, arms crossed over his chest.

"If I just go ahead and leave now, nobody else will get hurt," I tell him.

"And you think I'm just going to let you walk out the door without me?"

"You…you need to stay away from me," I warn him.

"You're my wife." I wince at his remark, the reminder of my lie. "I go wherever you go, no matter what, so please just talk to me, Maddie. I've given you your space, your privacy for more than a year. Now though, a man is dead, brutally murdered, so I need you to talk to me."

"Please just let me go alone. Let me keep Rockland and the Kings safe," I beg before heading back to the closet for more clothes.

"Safe from who ?" Jordan shouts, making me freeze. I think it's the first time he's ever raised his voice at me. We don't ever argue or fight. That should've been enough to tell me our relationship was too good to be true.

Part of me thought that Jordan never lost his temper because he doesn't think he deserves me and didn't want to give me a reason to leave him. He doesn't understand that I'm the lucky one. I thank god every day that I met him in that bar, that he was my key to freedom, the first I've ever had.

Jordan taught me how to drive and how to shop for groceries and clothes when I came to Rockland with nothing but stacks of cash and a gun. I didn't even know how to wash dishes until he showed me how. I owe him everything, and yet he thinks he's not worthy of me. And the only thing I can do for him is to leave, so he doesn't get hurt or killed, even if it'll be the hardest thing I've ever had to do. Even harder than leaving Vegas, going off on my own for the first time.

"Who is it that's sending you a message, Maddie?" Jordan asks again, his deep voice softer.

I pause in my packing, bracing my palms on either side of the nearly full duffle bag. I hang my head and tell him, "I think it's someone...someone who worked for my father, who hurt people for him, killed for him. I-I don't think he would hurt me, but he'll drag me back to Vegas, back to that prison... I can't go back. I don't want to leave you, but I can't let him hurt you either."

"Why did he kill that man, Earnest Ingram?"

"I honestly have no idea. Maybe he was an enemy of my father, or maybe he just felt like it. He's a sadist. He enjoys inflicting pain on others, whether they deserve it or not. Maybe...maybe I'm wrong, but I only have two choices—run or go back. Please don't let him take me back."

"Come here," Jordan says as he stalks over and pulls me into his arms. His lips kiss the top of my head as he holds me tight. "I promise I won't let him touch you or even come near you, okay?"

"You can't promise that. You don't know what he's like. He will hurt you to convince me to leave." Pulling free from Jordan, I slump onto the foot of our bed. "Everything is ruined. Us. The bar. My business. I'm going to have to cancel all the pending orders and block new ones."

"I'm sorry, baby. Sorry that your business is on hold, and you had to see that gruesome shit today at the bar," Jordan says as he comes and drops to his knees between my legs. "But you're wrong about us. You and I are not ruined. Nothing can ruin us. You know why?"

"Why?" I ask him softly as his palms grip my sides, his golden-brown eyes locked on mine.

"Because you're mine and I'm yours. We'll get through this together. For better or for worse, right?"

I nod since I can't stand to speak the lie. Grabbing his shoulders, I beg him, "Come with me then."

"Running won't solve anything. And our family is here. There's nothing the Savage Kings can't handle," he replies as his hands lift my shirt and bra over my head in one go. "Trust me, okay?"

"Okay," I agree, even if in the morning, I might still leave Rockland without him.

That's why I don't waste any time and tug Jordan's shirt off and then lift my hips so he can pull down my shorts and panties. As he unties my shoes to remove them and my socks, tossing them over his shoulder as if to say "no running," I decide to push aside my worries for a few hours.

After all, this could be the last time I ever get to be with Jordan.

Having someone love me the way he has, I know I won't ever find it again if I leave him. But I love him so much, I would rather him be alive and live my life alone than risk his life.

"Lay back and let me take care of you," he says as he palms my knees and spreads them wide.

"Wait." I tug on his biceps urging him up off the floor.

"You don't want to come on my tongue first?"

"I need you inside of me. Right now," I tell him.

"Okay," Jordan replies as he gets to his feet to remove his jeans. "If you're sure you're ready?"

"I'm ready," I assure him. "And…you don't have to be gentle."

He pauses with his fists holding his unzipped jeans. "I don't want to hurt you."

"It's okay. You won't."

Jordan's brow furrows as he finishes undressing, freeing his semi-hard length.

I scoot back on the mattress when he crawls onto the bed and over me.

Our mouths fuse together so naturally, like we've done hundreds of times as Jordan reaches down to stroke himself until he's fully hard. Then, he lines himself up at my entrance. I've been on birth control since the month I got here, using a fake name at the doctor's office, paying out of pocket for them, so there's no protection needed. We trust each other. I trust Jordan. He loves me too much to ever cheat on me.

And as he begins to ease his way inside of me, I start to tell him that it's okay if he wants to hurt me, to take me hard and fast. That I think I might like that sort of thing.

It's hard to know since I've only had sex like that once with someone else.

Someone who may have killed a man and took his eyes.

Someone who intended to hurt me, to get revenge on my father by taking my virginity on the dining room table while nearly choking me to death.

" Oh, god ," I moan at the memory and my pussy clenches around Jordan's shaft when he's fully sheathed. He pulls back out to thrust into me again, slowly, but I dig my fingernails into his ass and tell him, "Harder."

Closing my eyes tight, I meet each of his thrusts, letting my mind wander back to my first time. Being dominated, used by a monster who took me so violently I could barely walk afterward, or remember my name. It was a suicide mission that failed because I took pity on him instead of telling my father.

I felt like maybe I saw something inside of him that no one else got to see, a vulnerability in the most dangerous man I've ever known. And that made me feel…powerful. Especially when he came back for more that night. Despite all his harshness, he was ridiculously generous with his tongue, as if he didn't truly want to hurt me, just my father.

Right on the edge, on Jordan's next deep thrust, I dig my fingernails into his flesh to hold him to me as I shatter apart.

It's the first time I've ever gotten off during actual intercourse with Jordan. How messed up is it that it happened when I was thinking about a homicidal monster?

"Damn, baby. I think you drew blood. You did need me inside of you, didn't you?" Jordan asks, pressing soft kisses to the side of my face, my throat.

I nod and a few strokes later he groans into the side of my neck through his own release.

Before he lifts his head, I quickly reach up to swipe my fingertips over the single tear on my cheek that snuck out.

I should feel good now, but all I feel is...guilty, like I mentally cheated on Jordan with the vicious psychotic man.

How messed up is that Jordan has always been so sweet and good to me, and all I do is lie to him.