Chapter 35

Chapter Thirty-Five

Alfonso Ramos' Estate

Present Day

ZO'S PLAN had been to appear relaxed and unconcerned for the men watching the security monitors, but instead, she paced the length of the suite, unable to settle. Finn had pointed out the locations of the cameras in the sitting area and bedroom before he left for a meeting with Henri Silva, and it was hard not to gaze into them as she walked past.

She felt queasy, but it wasn't because of lunch. The food had been delicious, and Al had been pleasant company. They'd talked mostly about his grandfather and his lifelong quest to find the disk. And they'd both speculated about where it might have been found if it wasn't discovered at the ruins. The broker she bought it from hadn't known anything.

No, lunch was fine. It was fear that had her stomach roiling. What if Silva had learned that Finn had never been a gunrunner and that he'd had a role in the time the man spent in prison? What if he ordered Finn killed? What if— ?

With a shaky breath, Zo forced her brain to stop spinning and unclenched her fists. Finn had been in plenty of dangerous situations before and after she'd met him. She had to trust him to handle this. Had to, because if she didn't, she'd curl up in the fetal position on the bed, and that would make her worthless to him. He thought she was strong—he liked that she was strong—and she needed to act like it.

She also needed to do more than walk the floor of the suite. A brave, resourceful woman would have intel to pass along when her lover returned. What did she have? That the cook knew how to make a fantastic Arroz con Pollo .

Zo grimaced. She'd contemplated the situation as she'd paced. There were no men stationed on the balcony outside the suite. It was surprising, and it made her wonder how much freedom she actually had. It was time to test it. The worst that could happen is she'd be shepherded back to the rooms and told to stay inside.

Striving to appear casual, something that wasn't easy with her heart racing, Zo headed for the door. They weren't going to kill her for attempting to leave the room. At least not until the arms deal was completed. In the meantime, Al needed her alive.

It was damn hard to try to appear nonchalant. How did Finn pull off this undercover stuff so easily? This small subterfuge had her heart rate up into the call-an-ambulance zone. Even her job for the Paladin League was more or less straightforward. Sure, she needed a poker face while she negotiated, but it didn't involve any real pretense.

She made it to the door without having a heart attack.

Her hand visibly trembled as she reached for the knob, but Zo didn't stop. It was unlocked, and she pulled it open. No one came running, guns at the ready.

Okay, then. Biting her lip, Zo stepped into the corridor, but it was deserted in both directions. Go and explore. She couldn't make her feet move. Come on, Zo. You need to locate Tia Izel. There might only be minutes to rescue her, and knowing where she was could be the difference between escape and recapture.

Apparently, she was allowed the run of the hacienda because the only people she saw as she roamed the second floor were a few women cleaning. They gave her nods as Zo passed them, but no one stopped her.

The bedrooms in the wing were empty, no sign of Tia Izel, and since Zo wasn't going anywhere near the owner's wing, she headed downstairs.

She tried to memorize her path, knowing Finn would want the information, but she wasn't certain how much she'd be able to recall clearly. It was an enormous residence. A few minutes later, she perked up. Zo recognized where she was now.

Could she get into Al's office? Did the disk remain in his desk drawer? Her palm tingled, and although she knew she couldn't risk reclaiming it, she turned down the hall and attempted an amble toward the double doors. She hoped she didn't appear as stiff as she felt because there were cameras everywhere, but she suspected she probably did.

Zo didn't make it halfway down the hall when a guard with an assault rifle stepped into the corridor from the office and gestured with his gun. The message was clear—turn around and leave. Despite legs that had gone limp from terror, she pivoted and turned right at the first hallway she saw.

Zo was struggling to slow her pulse when she discovered an exterior door with bright sunshine streaming through the panes of glass. Another exit was helpful knowledge.

Instead of charging outside, she peered through the glass to get the lay of the land. She could see part of a guest house that seemed about five times larger than most people's homes, a pool with a spa, and in the distance, there were tennis courts.

Since Tia Izel wasn't in the main house, she was probably stashed in the casita . Zo needed to see if she could get inside there and search.

No one stopped her from leaving the hacienda. As she headed toward the guest house, she realized it was even bigger than she'd believed it to be. It was L-shaped, two-stories high, and one side had a veranda with a roof over the top of it. There were tables and chairs underneath it, and as she stepped into the courtyard and saw the entire patio area, she realized someone was seated out there.

Zo gasped and started to run. "Tia!"

The older woman looked up from the book she held, put it down on the table, and stood, hurrying to meet her. Zo didn't slow down, but she did check her out, making sure there were no signs of injury. She appeared to be fine, and then Zo was in her arms. She clung to Tia Izel, let the older woman rock her like she had when Zo was a little girl. With her Tia, she could be scared, at least for a while.

"Are you okay?" Zo asked when she could talk around the lump in her throat.

"Sí, mija, I'm fine." Tia Izel put her hands on Zo's shoulders and eased her back so she could look up at her. "What are you doing here?"

"Al said he'd let you go if I came with the disk."

Tia Izel frowned. "And it didn't work, did it? Instead, he has both of us as prisoners. You should have stayed far away from here. You should have gone home," she scolded.

Zo put her hands over Tia Izel's. "If Finn and I hadn't come, Tio Luis was going to lead Se?or Garcia and Se?or Otero here on a rescue mission. I couldn't let him do that."

"Finn is here?" Tia Izel looked more hopeful.

"Sí, not at this immediate moment, but he's with me. You and me being held here? It's about leverage to get Finn to broker an arms deal for Al." Her fear for her lover returned, and Zo looked over her shoulder toward the wall surrounding the estate. How long would a meeting with Henri Silva last ?

Tia Izel squeezed Zo's shoulders. "Don't worry, mija. As I did, you picked a man with skills beyond that of a typical soldier. He can take care of himself."

Zo nodded her head, unsurprised Tia Izel had guessed Finn's background, but Silva was ruthless. If he knew the truth about Finn, she might never see him again. As she blinked back tears, Tia Izel moved to put an arm around her waist, giving her a squeeze.

"Come, Zofia, let's sit. We'll talk." The older woman steered her toward the table she'd been sitting at when Zo had appeared.

Ceiling fans over the patio were lazily spinning; the light breeze welcome amid the heat. It was cool enough that Zo suspected some air conditioning was involved as well. Tia Izel closed her book and moved it to the other side of the table as they took seats on adjacent sides.

"How are you here? Finn is too smart to allow you to be added to Alfonso's list of hostages."

Her lips thinned. "It was my fault. I fell, and by the time Finn scooped me up and slung me over his shoulder, Al's men were on us. If you want more details, you'll have to ask Finn. I was pretty exhausted, and my memory isn't solid."

Zo couldn't stop herself from glancing back toward the front of the property. How long would it take Finn to return?

Tia Izel's hand covered hers. "He'll be fine. Have faith in your man."

"I do."

Both of Tia Izel's eyebrows went up. "Not enough, Zofia."

"Because I'm worried about him?" Zo was confused. "It isn't about trust. It's because of how important he is to me."

"Listen to you." Tia Izel squeezed her hand. "You use the word important , but you don't say love. Why not? Do you not love him?"

"Of course, I do!" So much that it scared the hell out of her because she couldn't be sure he'd stick around. "How can you doubt it?"

There was a moment of silence, then Tia Izel released her hand and settled deeper into the wicker chair. "Let's talk of something else, then. When did you last speak to your parents? Are they aware you're in Puerto Jardin?"

Zo studied Tia Izel's face, trying to read her, but her expression held nothing except casual curiosity. She was pretty sure, though, that this was somehow related to Finn, but she couldn't figure out how. "No, they don't know I'm here."

"And you spoke to them when?"

Pursing her lips, Zo tried to work it out. "New Year's Day, I think. Or maybe Christmas. I can't remember."

"Two months ago." Tia Izel frowned. "You need to make peace with your parents, mija."

That was so unfair that Zo went rigid. "Make peace? Tia Izel, who do you think makes the majority of the phone calls? Who do you think has to leave a voicemail nearly every time? They've frozen me out, and the only way I can see to make peace is to do everything they want me to do. That would include quitting my job, getting my PhD, becoming a college professor, and ending things with Finn so I can marry a man of their choosing."

"They love you."

"Do they? They have an odd way of showing it. As soon as I failed to meet their expectations, I became expendable. Unwanted."

Zo looked away, focusing on the blue water in the pool. She wouldn't let anyone see her cry if she could help it, not even her Tia, and the wound her parents left had never healed. She'd spent her entire life trying to please them so they'd care about her. As far as she could see, they'd never loved her. They only approved of her enough to associate with her when she'd been their clone.

"You were never unwanted. They did the best they could. The distance you sensed was because neither one knew how to relate to a child."

"I'm an adult." Zo's voice came out harder than she'd intended, but she was struggling to hold back tears. "What's their excuse now?"

Tia Izel reached out and put her hand over Zo's again, tightening her hold when she tried to pull away. "They're worried about you, fearful that you've made choices you'll regret later in life."

Shaking her head, Zo said, "The only regret I have is not finishing my PhD."

"Then tell them that." Tia Izel held on when Zo tried to free her hand again. "Tell them, Zofia. Explain how you feel, how their actions have affected you. All three of you, so polite, so reserved, so unwilling to talk about feelings, and where has it left you?"

"They don't care how I feel." If they did, they'd return her damn phone calls promptly, not wait days or weeks to call back. Or not call, period. If they cared about her, they'd remember her birthday or send a Christmas gift occasionally. If they gave a damn, they wouldn't be so critical of everything when they did talk.

"Tell them anyway," Tia Izel insisted. "If nothing else, it will help you to get the hurt out into the open."

"I'll think about it," she said to end the sales pitch.

It didn't fool Tia Izel—her expression made it clear—but she didn't pursue it. Instead, she circled back around. "You realize, don't you, that you're as reserved with your emotions as your parents are? That you've chosen a man who keeps his feelings hidden as well?"

Pressing her lips tightly together, Zo shrugged. She couldn't deny either charge. Finn had gotten his nickname because he rarely showed what he was thinking or feeling, and her? She'd learned early on that emotion was unacceptable. How many times on the way home from some event, had her parents reviewed her behavior? You made a face when Mrs. Thompkins offered you the goose paté. Don't sigh when you're asked to watch the younger children. And so on and so forth until she'd hated going anywhere.

"You're not yourself with Finn—not your full self. The pretense is hurting your relationship. If you can't have an honest conversation about your thoughts and feelings with your parents, then at least have one with your husband. If you don't, I fear you're going to lose him."