Chapter 34

Something I have worked out about Maddox is he doesn’t like to follow orders. And as I stare out over the wreckage in front of me, I’m left wondering if Maddox has a death wish. Disobeying his boss to show me the charred remands of my papa’s estate seems like a bad reason to die.

“Why did you bring me here?” I glance over my shoulder at him.

“You’re still having those fucking nightmares,” he explains, like it’s obvious why we would have gone out of our way to stop here on our way home.

I look him over. Am I? I hadn’t even realized, and even more so, why is it him who’s trying to do something about it and not the man I’m now sleeping next to?

I hop off his bike and take off my helmet, wandering over to the construction fence that’s surrounding the charcoaled property. Like I assumed it would be, everything is gone. It’s a pile of twisted steel, bricks, and ash .

One lone tear slips down my cheek for the girl that lost it all last Christmas Eve. I might have my identity back now, but I’m not the same person anymore. When I think back, I’m almost surprised how much I’ve changed. But that girl might have thought she had freedom and some sort of control over her life, but really, she was just controlled by a different asshole. Shipped off to school so far away and kept in the dark. She was flittering around with no direction at all.

Now I know what I want.

Control. The power to have a life that’s my own. And revenge against the people who have wronged me. I want to show them I’m not some pathetic little girl they can push around and stomp all over. The girl that ran from this house screaming was weak. But I’m not. I have let them all get away with manipulating me for far too fucking long. Metal bites into my fingers before I realize I’ve even taken hold of the fence in front of me with such force. Anger and adrenaline surge through me with this new realization.

“I hate my papa for the life he forced upon me and Marco.” The words drip from my lips like poison, leaving a bitter taste in my mouth. I spin back to face Maddox. “Why did you really bring me here?” I cry, emotion taking over.

“I want you to remember this is your reality and not some fucked-up nightmare. Do what you want with that.”

He’s being so cryptic tonight, but I don’t think he brought me here to hurt me. Or punish me. But knowing Maddox, there is a reason. I swipe my angry tears away. “Why haven’t they bulldozed this place?” I demand to know.

“I guess the owner is still deciding what to do with it.” He raises a brow, and I wonder what he’s insinuating.

“Marco?” I snap.

He lifts a shoulder. “Maybe that’s something you have to ask him.”

I knew he had a better reason for bringing me here than just trying to help me get over my nightmares. He knows something, and he wants me to be clued in as well. I wonder if this is more about the promise he made me earlier today not to keep secrets from me anymore. He wants me to ask who owns my father’s land and charcoaled house? And I know this is important. I guess I just assumed if my brother was still alive, it would all be his.

“Come on, we need to get back before the others.”

I take one last glance back at the place, then put my helmet back on and slip onto his bike behind him, wrapping my arms around his middle. He takes off up the road, and I hug him a little tighter. Maddox is the biggest mystery to me, but tonight, I know he brought me here for a reason. Now I just need to work out what it was.

We arrive at the safe house before the others, and as we enter, he’s completely silent. It makes me wonder what’s going on with him. More than he shows, that’s for sure. Before even kicking off my heels, I visit the pantry and pour two servings of whiskey into tumblers, setting them down on the coffee table in front of where he’s plonked himself down. I’m not ready to go our separate ways for the night.

“What’s this?” he asks, motioning to the drinks.

“I was too on edge to drink at the club. Have one with me now?” I offer a half smile.

He collects the glass and has a sip, his eyes not leaving mine, like he’s trying to decide what to do with me. I have a few ideas for him.

I settle comfortably on the armchair, curling my feet up beneath me. The smooth whiskey slides down my throat nicely, and for the first time tonight, I’m able to relax my shoulders and take a proper breath. Alessandro has me so on edge all the time when he’s around. But even with the silence between Maddox and me, I feel at peace .

“How did you and Ricky end up living with the Morettis?” I ask after nearly finishing off my drink.

He looks me over, and I think he’s going to tell me it’s none of my business, but instead, he surprises me. “Our parents died when we were just kids.”

My heart aches for those two young boys and the losses they must have endured. “Oh, that’s very sad.”

“My father was to blame.” He pauses, staring into his tumbler. “My dead-beat dad had been seeing Ricky’s mom for a few years on and off. I don’t know what she saw in him, he would dump me with her for months at a time. I was okay with it. Ricky was a year younger than me, and my friend, and his mother was so kind to me. She treated me like I was hers and never once complained about being left with another mouth to feed. She was the only mother I ever knew.”

“Is that where you get your cooking skills from?” I ask, not sure what else to do with this walk down memory lane.

He shrugs, and I know that’s not what he wants to talk about tonight. “One night my father came back drunk off his nut and ready for a fight. She didn’t stand a chance. He was raving at her about some other man. Nothing she could say would stop him. I tried to protect her and shield Ricky from the violence, but it was impossible. He was too strong for me and beat me until I couldn’t get back up and fight him off. He killed her right there in front of us with his bare hands, choked the life right out of her. Then he took out his gun and blew his own brains out. Right there.” He motions to the spot right in front of the large window.

I gasp in shock, imagining the horror these two little boys had to endure right here in this very home. But he tells the story like it happened to someone else. There is no emotion in his voice, nothing. “I’m so sorry, Maddox.” A solitary tear falls silently from my eye.

“The next day, Enzo turned up at the house and found us. He told me he would take care of us, and for years, I thought of him like a fucking hero, our savior. Until we swore our allegiance to the family name and became one of them. Then I learned the truth. My father had been working for him all along. When he died, we belonged to Enzo. There was never any choice in it for us.”

A shiver runs down my spine at his reality. Here I was thinking they chose this life, but he’s no more in control of his existence than I am. Enzo is the chess master, moving us all around his board to keep control. When our eyes meet, I am captivated by the darkness in his gaze. I inhale, deeply overwhelmed by the intensity. My poor broken man. His story explains so much.

“The only way out is death. Mine and Ricky’s loyalty to the family is all we have. We don’t get to imagine another life. It’s simply not possible.” But even as he says the words, I know that’s exactly what he’s doing. He wants out of this hell just as much as I do.

There is nothing I can say to make any of this better. So instead, I place my glass on the table in front of me and move to sit on his lap. Curling my arms around him, I draw him in close. I sense his face sinking into my hair as he takes a deep breath. “You smell like summertime.”

“You smell like sin.” I smirk back at him. Cigarettes, whiskey, and sex; he’s perfection.

As his lips touch mine, I gently run my fingers through his hair. I always knew there was a darkness inside of him. His wounds run deep enough to have him mostly shut off from the rest of the world. It hurts to hear just how bad they are, but maybe I can offer him some reprieve.

I move to straddle his lap, deepening our kiss. There’s a closeness between us I never expected, but it’s there. An invisible rope that ties me to him. I couldn’t run away from him now. I care about him too much. Him and Ricky. And as screwed up as it is, Alessandro as well.

As we kiss, I rock over his hardened monster cock, desperate to have him inside of me so I can show him how much he means to me.

The front door opens, breaking our kiss. Our attention flying to a furious Alessandro standing in the doorway, but I don’t think it’s because he found us tangled up together. From the depth of his fury, I think something might have happened back at the club. His eyes lock with mine, the darkness in his gaze intensifying, and for a second, I think he’s going to come over here. Instead, he storms off to his room, slamming his door shut so hard the sound vibrates through the house.

Ricky appears in the space he left, locking the door and triple-checking it. “You guys started without me.” His cheeky grin tells me he’s not all that worried about whatever they just had to deal with, either that or he’s just better at masking it than Alessandro. He joins us, picking up my tumbler and drinking down what I left.

“Is everything okay?” I ask, wondering why the asshole is in an even worse mood than when we left the club.

A silent message passes between the guys, and I feel Maddox’s chest stiffen underneath me. “He’s dealing with a few of his demons. Probably best we give him some space.”

I know he has demons. I see them every time I look at him. But he’s the one who shuts himself off from me, struts around, acting like he’s made of steel and nothing can touch him. He needs to learn to open up; it might help him deal.

Maddox’s lips drop back to my neck, kissing me softly and distracting me from my derailing thoughts about Alessandro, as Ricky’s hungry eyes meet mine. Without another word, Maddox lifts me with my legs still wrapped around him and carries me down the hallway and into Ricky’s bedroom, with Ricky close behind us. I’m really going to do this, sleeping with both of them. Part of me knows there’s no coming back from a night like this, but the reality is, I’m already too far gone. I want this.