Chapter 3

Chapter

Three

HARPER

M ilky sunlight filters through the curtains hanging in front of my window the next day. I’ve only been awake for a few minutes, the sound of the shower running waking me from a surprisingly deep sleep. As soon as I hear the bathroom door leading to Declan’s room open, I toss the covers off and get up. Banks is coming over today to swim and spend the day with me, so I want to grab a quick shower.

I stop in my tracks as soon as I open the door, though, because just on the other side, I find my new stepbrother in nothing but a towel wrapped dangerously low on his hips. I can see every impressive cut of lean muscle and the trail of dark hair leading from his belly button to beneath the terrycloth doing a terrible job of covering him. He keeps running a razor along his sharp jawline while he watches me in the mirror.

“Like what you see?” He smirks at me. Drops of water gather at the tips of his dark brown hair.

My cheeks burn. “I was just surprised. I thought you were done in here. Sorry.” His hand connects with the door as I try to close it to give him privacy.

“Don’t worry about it. You can do whatever you need while I finish.”

“I’ll wait.”

“Suit yourself.” He goes back to focusing on his reflection, while I go over to my dresser to look for a bathing suit.

They’re all modest one pieces with good coverage. You’ll never catch me in any kind of bikini, not with the scars that litter my sides from punishments doled out at the hands of my father. Even Mom hasn’t seen the series of cigarette burns I’ve had for over a decade now. I had hoped that they would fade away with time, but they’re still visible. Ugly reminders of my own wickedness .

Memories of my father overtake me as I stare down into the drawer, a deep green bathing suit in my hand. Bile swims in the back of my throat as I think back to the searing burn of having a lit cherry pressed into my flesh. He’d recite Romans 12:2 and command me not to cry. Even now I feel my lungs seizing up as I battle to breathe through the panic.

“Are you okay?” Declan’s voice pulls me from the memory.

I force my lips upwards, giving him the fake smile I’ve perfected over the years. “Just zoning out.”

“Right.” He looks me up and down suspiciously. “Bathroom’s all yours.”

“Thanks.”

I make sure to flip the locks on both doors, so he doesn’t accidentally walk in on me like I did him. The bathroom is still steamy and smells like his expensive bath products. After pinning my hair up out of the way, I step under the hot spray.

Mom thought of everything, making sure I had everything I used to use. It lends a soothing familiarity to a new and jarring reality. I lose myself to the comfort of habit as I work through my self-care routine. By the time I dry off and pull my swimsuit and coverup on, I hear Banks pulling up in his Challenger.

I’ve never understood the allure of cars. If it has four wheels and a stereo, I’m good to go. But the Challenger was a gift from his grandpa when he turned sixteen. He passed away months later, so Banks has a deep emotional connection to the vehicle. At least I always know when he arrives from the loud engine.

I run down the steps and fling open the door, jumping into his arms even though I just saw him last night. He smiles against my lips when I kiss him but doesn’t grant me entry. The pang of rejection ricochets through my chest, but I do my best to brush it off.

We’re in a new place in our relationship. Before, my dad had very strict rules about dating for me. I was never allowed to be alone with Banks, so nothing beyond chaste kisses ever took place between us. But I’ve wanted more for so long.

I thought he’d be champing at the bit for more, too, but instead he seems even more hesitant. His parents are churchgoers but not particularly pious. I never got the feeling that they were even half as strict as my family. Maybe he’s just trying to adjust the same as me .

“Hi.” He presses a kiss to my forehead before releasing me. “I brought breakfast.” He holds up a bag of pastries.

My stomach growls as I reach for it and peek inside. An almond croissant sits next to a breakfast burrito. I grab the croissant and take a bite, moaning at the taste of the light pastry on my tongue.

“They didn’t have them like this in Texas.”

“I figured you were missing them.”

“Not as much as I missed you.”

He smiles and pulls me against his chest, resting his chin on top of my head. “I missed you so much, too. I can’t believe we only have a week until I have to head to school.”

“What?” I step back and look up at him. “Why so soon?”

“Coach wants all incoming freshmen to come early for conditioning.”

Banks is going to college on a full scholarship from one of the best D1 swimming and diving programs in the country. I’m so proud of and happy for him, but it means there’s going to be so much distance between us. My eyes prick with tears.

“I thought we’d have more time.”

“Me, too.” He looks down at me with sadness swimming in his sky-blue eyes. “So we’ll just have to spend every second we can together this week.”

“Deal,” I say with a decisive nod as I take another bite.

“Where’s your mom and Mr. Ambrose?”

“They’re in New York for a couple days.”

“Honeymoon?”

I shake my head. “I don’t think so. He said he had some business to handle up there. You know it’s not a marriage of love or romance.”

“Yeah.” He wraps his hand around the back of his neck like he always does when he’s thinking deeply. “I just don’t quite understand why someone of his means and standing would take you guys in. I mean that in the nicest way possible, it’s just weird.”

“Yeah, I don’t really understand it either to be honest. But, so far, it’s been fine. He’s kind to me and most importantly my mom has freedom like she’s never experienced before.”

“That’s good, but you know if you or she ever need anything, my parents will be there for you.”

“I know.” I tug his hand and lead him through the house to the back yard where a pool waits for us. “For now, let’s just have fun and focus on us.”

I slide the uneaten portion of my breakfast back into the bag for later. As soon as my feet hit the stone of the patio, I lift my coverup over my head and jump into the pool. When I come back up to the surface, he’s grinning at me while he pulls his burrito out and sits on the end of a lounge chair.

“This pool’s big enough to race in.” He takes a bite.

“It is nice, isn’t it?” I roll onto my back, looking up at brilliant blue occasionally contrasted against fluffy looking white clouds. The pool is a basic rectangle shaped pool twice as long as it is wide. There’s even a black line tiled along one side for lap swimming.

I float around for a few minutes lost in my own thoughts when the sound of Banks jumping into the water makes me shriek in delighted surprise. I feel his hands grip me from below as he launches me up into the air and towards the other end of the pool. We spend the rest of the morning fooling around like our world isn’t going to drastically change yet again in a few days. Denial is our armor.

“May I?” I look down at the ground at Banks’s feet.

“Of course. You don’t have to ask.” He widens his legs to make room for me to sit at his feet and grabs my hand to help me down.

I can’t explain why I feel so safe and at peace sitting like this, but I do and always have. One night we were watching a movie with friends, and there was nowhere else to sit, so I sat at his feet and rested my head on his lap. The feel of his fingers running through my hair put me at such peace that I fell asleep.

His skin, dusted with blond hair, is warm from the sun as I rest my head on his knee. I sigh in contentment as he drags his fingers lightly over my scalp. All the tension I hold in my body melts away as I sit here with him listening to the waves breaking and birds chirping.

“How are you feeling about all this?” he asks quietly, his fingers never stopping.

“You’re going to have to be a little more specific. Us? The Ambroses? Mom? Dad being in prison?”

“All of it.”

“I don’t want you to be so far away, so that sucks. Cillian seems kind.” Not that appearances matter, I mean look at my own father for an example of how he was a pious man in public and a monster in private. “Declan makes me uneasy.”

“How so? ”

“He’s so intense all the time. It feels like he can look into my soul and see all my secrets. Knowing that I have to live with him and his friends is freaking me out.”

“I wish I could be there when you move in.” He frowns and looks down at me, his brows furrowed. “It sucks that you have to go to school with him and can’t come with me.”

“I know.” I press my lips to his knee.

I had actually thought about asking about going to school with Banks. Ultimately, though, I decided it wasn’t my place to ask for that. Cillian has done so much for Mom and me that I wouldn’t want to add any more to the burden.

Just as I’m about to open up about Dad, I feel a shadow fall over me. Three of them to be exact. I look up, and my eyes fall on Declan, flanked by his two best friends and my future roommates. Cyrus Antoniou is rumored to be an heir to the Greek mafia. He’s covered in tattoos and has his jet-black hair piled on top of his head in a bun. Cyrus is intimidating and everything you’d expect based on the stories swirling around him.

In opposition to him is Emerson Sullivan, likely on his way to a medical degree like everyone in his family over the past century. Intelligence and warmth shines from behind his dark blue eyes. He must be the calm between the two storms of Cyrus and Declan.

“You know there are a dozen chairs to sit in around the pool deck?” Declan sneers down at me as he gestures around at the available seating.

Banks stands and pulls me to my feet at the same time. “I don’t think I got an opportunity to meet your friends last night.” His arm wraps around my shoulder, pulling me close. “I’m Banks, Harper’s boyfriend.”

Declan’s jaw clenches as he stares at Banks’s hand on my skin. I shrink beneath his penetrating gaze. If I could hide behind Banks, I would. But he holds me steady, knowing me well enough to anticipate my natural inclination. He lessens the tension between all of us by engaging in small talk with Emerson.

I lift my eyes, grateful they’re hidden behind oversize sunglasses, to find Cyrus staring at my body. It doesn’t feel like he’s leering, more like he’s trying to figure out a puzzle. Finally, he looks up at my face.

“That color looks incredible on you.”

The unexpected compliment stuns me into momentary silence .

“Thank you,” I finally say. My chest flushes under his attention, a blush working its way up my body at the kind compliment. I’m not used to comments from men about my appearance that aren’t either creepy or mean.

Dad was always on me to lose weight, insisting that I must battle gluttony in order to serve God. It didn’t help that Mom is naturally thin and doesn’t do much to maintain her size two body. She would always find me after the weigh-ins Dad would force me to do and tell me it would all be alright. That I was perfect how I was and not to worry about what he said.

Banks’s phone rings with his mother’s name on the screen. He takes it and steps to the side, leaving me facing my new stepbrother with his friends flanking him.

“You okay if we take a swim?” Declan pulls his shirt over his head, drawing my attention momentarily to his abs.

“Of course, it’s your house.” I step out of the way to turn back to Banks, but Declan wraps his hand around my wrist, stopping me.

“It’s yours, too.”

I snatch my hand back, rubbing at the warmth left behind and give him a shaky smile with a nod before turning away.

“I have to go home. Mom needs me for some paperwork.” He grips me by the shoulders, his thumbs rubbing soothing circles. “Do you want to come with me?”

“I brought the guys over so she could get to know them better before we move in together,” Declan’s voice cuts through before I can answer.

Banks presses his lips together in annoyance. “Don’t you think that’s something you should have run by her first?”

“Nope.” Declan smirks. “Stay with us, Harper. I told you I don’t bite.” He winks at me.

Banks breaks his glare to look down at me with concern. “You know Mom would love to see you. It wouldn’t be a problem.”

I war with indecision, but ultimately it does make sense to get to know my future roommates.

“I should probably stay.”

“Okay.” He presses his lips to my forehead. “Call me if you need anything. I love you.”

“I love you, too.” I watch him leave and gather my courage before turning back to the three guys who just jumped into the pool.