Chapter 25

Chapter

Twenty-Five

HARPER

M y new mattress and bedding finally arrive after a week of delays. I move out of the way as Declan and Cy carry the old one downstairs. Emerson is pulling the plastic wrapping off the new one when I walk back into my room.

“Do you think we can put it on the bed without them?” I ask.

He smirks at me and lifts it onto the side of the bed. “I’ve got it under control.”

“I guess you do.” I grab the new sheets off the dresser and start putting them on, surprised when he grabs the opposite side of the fitted sheet. “I can do this, you don’t have to help.”

“It’ll go quicker together.”

“Okay. Thank you.” There’s no reason to put up a fight when he’s not wrong.

After I get the duvet and pillows on the bed, I hop on top to try it out.

“How does it feel?” he asks from beside the bed.

“Hop on and see for yourself.” I pat the bed beside me.

He lays down and squirms to find a comfortable position. “Not bad. It’s a little too soft.”

“There’s no such thing as too soft a bed,” Cy says as he walks in and lays down beside Emerson.

“I agree.” Cy holds a fist up in the air over Emerson, and I bump it with my own.

“Dec,” Emerson calls out. “We’re having a disagreement. Come back me up.”

“What are you guys doing?” he asks as he walks through the door.

“Testing out the new mattress.” I scoot toward Emerson to make room on the other side of the king size bed. “Come.”

He lays down beside me on his side, one arm sliding under my head and the other resting on my hip. “Too soft.”

Emerson lets out a whoop in solidarity while Cy and I both groan.

“While we’re all here, should we have a check in?” Declan asks.

“About what?”

“Everything.” He looks at Cy. “You go first.”

“I’m good.” Cy glances at him innocently. “Family stuff is going well, so are my art classes.”

“Any fights coming up?” Emerson asks.

Cy nods. “There’s one I’m going to do at the end of the month.”

“We’ll make sure one of us can go with you,” Declan says. “Emerson?”

“I’m good. You know everything about my life.”

“Harper?”

“Classes are good. I’m doing better than I thought I would, especially adding in working at the stables.”

“Any letters or weird feelings like you’re being watched?” Emerson asks.

“No. Things feel kind of back to normal.” Aside from tiptoeing around the guys about whatever is happening between us. Olivia’s words about open communication have been on repeat in my mind. “I was wondering if we should talk about things.”

“What things?” Declan asks.

“The nature of our relationships,” I say quietly. “I had a talk with Olivia about their relationship, and it got me thinking about us.”

The guys share a look I can’t decipher. What if they don’t think there is an us? I’m so inexperienced I could be misinterpreting everything. They’re all so much more experienced than me. Self-preservation kicks in, and I try to get up.

Declan and Emerson both stop me.

“Calm down. We can talk about anything.”

“We’ve actually been wanting to have this conversation, but we didn’t want to pressure you,” Cy says.

“Have you been talking about it?” I ask. “What you want?”

“Yes,” they all answer at the same time.

“But we want you to tell us what you want first,” Declan says.

“Why can’t you just go first?” The thought of putting myself out there like this is terrifying. What if I have misunderstood what’s happening? I have so much less experience than them.

“Because it’s important for us that your wants and needs are given as much importance as ours. We’re worried that if we told you what we’re thinking, you’ll feel obligated to oblige us. And you owe us nothing. We’re all equals.”

I drag in a deep breath. What they’re saying does make me feel better in some ways. But I still have to take the first step and trust them with my thoughts and feelings, which is something I’m not used to. I guard both of those things like a dragon guards its nest, because they’re all that’s ever been mine and mine alone.

They are asking me to trust them. In return I’m hoping they don’t hurt me. Three sets of eyes watch me patiently as I work to find my courage. Emerson puts his hand on my knee and squeezes. The comforting gesture does the trick, giving me what I need in the moment to open up.

“This is obviously overwhelming for me, and confusing in some ways, because what I want is so far outside of what I even knew was possible in relationships. All I’ve been exposed to before you three is what society sees as traditional marriages. You date a member of the opposite sex, fall in love, get engaged, and then married. That’s what I thought I’d have with Banks.

“But now there’s you three. And Banks doesn’t want a traditional life, certainly not one that could totally fulfill a need I’m beginning to understand I have. I crave touch.” My cheeks flame at the confession. “The more I experience with you, the more I want. But it isn’t just the physical acts.”

I look at Cyrus. “You understand me on a deep level. I feel comfortable just being with you, like I could say anything or do anything, and you’d just join me.”

He smiles at me.

My attention turns to Declan. “You make me angry.”

He smirks.

“But not in a way that makes me want to cut you off, in a way that pushes me forward. I know that’s something I need.”

I look over at Emerson. “You make me feel cared for. If I need something, I know I can go to you, and you’ll do your best to help me.”

He runs his hand along my thigh. “I will.”

“Most importantly, you guys make me safe. I trust you with my bodily safety, and I trust you with everything else. I know we’re all different places within this bond we’re growing, but I want to explore it with you.”

No one speaks for a moment as we all look at each other, and dread surges within me. Have I said too much? Are they trying to figure out how to let me down easy? The need to flee rises within me, and I turn to crawl off the bed over Declan.

His arm wraps around my waist and hauls me back. “You’re not running now.”

“If you don’t feel the same, just leave. I’ll be fine, I promise. I just need to have a moment alone.” Or a week. Maybe a month or year to let the embarrassment and rejection settle. I’ll get over it eventually though. I squeeze my eyes closed, so I don’t have to watch them walk away.

“We’re not going anywhere.” Declan’s lips brush mine as he speaks. “Open your eyes and look at me.”

I do as he says and find him giving me the same type of smile that lights up his face when he’s flying. “You’re not?”

“Nope.” He looks over at Emerson and Cy, who both nod in agreement.

“So you want to try this, too?” I look at Emerson. “Even you?”

“Yeah. I do.” We haven’t moved as fast as I have with Cy and Declan, but there have been moments I’ve felt something growing between us on the drives to and from the stables. “But you should know that Cy and I have a somewhat complicated relationship.”

“How so?”

They share a look. “We’ve been friends for a long time, but we’ve started hooking up occasionally. Is that a problem for you?”

“No, I don’t think so.” I let myself really take in that piece of information, seeing how it sits inside of me. It doesn’t make me uncomfortable. In fact, the idea of them being together in some sort of romantic relationship makes sense. Emerson makes me safe, and I have to assume it’s the same for Cyrus. “Do you want to be together?”

“It’s not something we’ve really spoken about.” Emerson clears his throat nervously. “Though we probably should.”

The silence that settles around us is thick. After a few minutes of lying together on my bed, Cy and Emerson excuse themselves to go talk. I scoot over into the center of the bed, so Declan doesn’t have to keep laying on the edge.

“Can I tell you something?” I ask.

“Of course.”

“I don’t know if I want to sleep in here. Even with everything new I just keep picturing the knife in my bed. ”

He slips his arms around me, rolling us, so I’m firmly pressed against his side. “That’s understandable. The way I see it we have two choices. The first is to grab some of your stuff and go into my room and you can sleep in there as long as you want or need.”

Tempting. “And the second option?”

“We stay in here and erase the bad memories with good.” His lips tilt upward in a cocky grin.

If I thought the first option was tempting, this one is downright sinful. “Those are both good options.”

“Which one sounds better?”

“I think I like the second one best.”

He rolls on top of me and pulls his shirt off in one smooth move. “I was hoping you’d say that.” His shirt lands on the floor beside the bed.

This should feel so wrong, watching my stepbrother undress on top of me. It doesn’t. It’s exciting. I want to watch him strip every article of clothing off. I want to feel his skin against mine. I’m not even ashamed of this desire.

He lowers himself over me and covers my lips with his. Every stroke of his tongue against mine sends tingles through my body. His hand moves up my side, pushing my shirt up until my bra is exposed. He sits back on his knees as he looks down at me like I’m a long-awaited gift.

“Take your shirt off.” His voice is thick with lust as I do what he instructed. “This is pretty.” He runs his fingertip over the sheer lavender bra I’m wearing.

I squirm beneath him as he toys with my nipples. My back arches off the bed when he covers one with his mouth, sucking on the hardened tip through the thin mesh covering it. One of his hands sneaks around behind my back and unhooks the clasp. He tosses it aside as soon as my breasts bounce free.

“You have the most perfect body, you know that?” he asks as he lavishes even more attention over my chest.

“Not with all these scars,” I say quietly.

He looks up at me, his eyes fierce as they lock on mine. “You’re perfect.”

I watch as he moves lower on my body, his gaze holding mine. He presses his lips to each and every scar, slowly and deliberately without ever looking away. His kisses are deadly, each hitting their mark and stripping me of my shame.

He unhooks the button of my shorts and pulls them down. My panties go next but not until he’s had his fill of teasing my slit with his fingers. He’s too pleased with himself, the damp spot growing on the fabric covering my core.

“Take these off?” I ask as I hook my finger in the waist of his shorts.

“I’m not wearing anything under them.”

“Good.” I grab his hands and pull him down on top of me. “I want to feel you.”

“Feel me where?” His voice is husky as he holds himself over me.

“Inside of me.”

Those words set him free. He doesn’t ask me if I’m sure because he doesn’t need to. He trusts me to know what I want. That trust is the sexiest thing I’ve ever experienced.

My lips part as he pushes his shorts down, freeing his length. It’s long, and thick, with a wide head and slight curve upward. I reach down and wrap my hand around him. I give him a few long strokes like I know he likes and then I sit up.

“What are you doing?” he asks.

“I want to,” I swallow nervously before finishing the sentence, “taste you.”

“You don’t have to.”

“I know. I want to.”

“Fuck me,” he mumbles as he sits back and kicks his legs out. “Who am I to deny you, Angel?”

“Will you tell me what to do?”

His penis twitches, and I look up at him, surprised. “That’s normal. He’s just eager to meet you. Lick the tip.”

I keep my eyes on him as I lower my mouth. He’s braced on his right hand so he can watch me while the tip of my tongue runs across his broad tip. His skin is so soft as I continue my exploration. His jaw twitches as he watches me. I want more of a reaction than just twitching muscles. I want to hear him moan my name the way he made me moan his.

So I wrap my lips around him and test how far back I take him. He curses when his tip hits the back of my throat. I feel his fingers in my hair as he tugs at the roots. He doesn’t pull hard, just uses his hand to guide my head as I get used to him. He jerks inside me, and I’ve never felt more powerful.

“Fuck. Stop.” He pulls out of my mouth. “I’m gonna come down your throat if you keep doing that.”

“Okay.” I move to take him back in my mouth.

“No, not today. Or at least not right now. The first time I fill you with my cum is going to be in your pussy, not your throat.”

Heat explodes in my center. His dirty talk makes me feel free. He grabs the sides of my panties and pulls them down. Then he’s wedging his shoulders between my thighs and blowing against my wetness. I reach down and run my fingers through his hair, pulling him closer to where I need his mouth.

“What do you want?”

I groan, knowing he’s going to make me use dirty words. He teases me with feather light sweeps of his thumb along my burning flesh.

“Look how you glisten for me.” He looks up my body to my eyes. “Tell me what you want, Angel. I’ll give you anything.”

“Your mouth.”

“Where?” He teases my clit with the tip of his finger. “Here?” Then he trails the same finger down my opening. “Inside your cunt?” He chuckles darkly as I squirm beneath him. “Or maybe here?” He presses against the tight ring of flesh in my backside. “What’s it going to be, hmm?”

“Everywhere. I want your mouth everywhere.”

His brows raise, but he doesn’t question me further. As soon as I feel the wet heat of his tongue on my clit, a fire builds in my center. He teases and circles my tiny bundle of nerves right to the edge. Then he kisses and licks his way down my slit to my opening. His thumb circles my clit while he thrusts his tongue in and out of me.

The second he pinches my clit, I explode with wave after wave of white hot pleasure. He kisses and licks and caresses me through each tremor until I feel him press a kiss to a place I never thought I’d feel lips touch. I freeze at the foreign but surprisingly hot sensation. The touch of his tongue to my tight ring is too much though, and I jerk away.

“I didn’t know you had it in you to be a dirty girl, Angel.”

Declan prowls up my body, my tender flesh already primed for more. I gasp at the first press of his hard length against my center. My hips lift off the bed seeking him out.

“I’m going to go slow, tell me to stop if it hurts too much.” He notches himself at my entrance. “Take a breath.”

As soon as I exhale, he presses inside. His eyes are locked on my face as he slides in further; I’m so wet, there’s no resistance. A vein throbs in his forehead as he holds himself back from taking me harder.

“I’m good. You can move faster.”

“Thank fuck,” he groans .

He pulls nearly out and then glides back in a little faster than last time. As I grow accustomed to the feel of stretching around him, I bend my knees and drop them enabling him to slide that much deeper inside me. As his pace quickens, pleasure builds inside me. The sound of him smacking against me fills the silence around us.

I need more, so I wrap my legs around his waist, my heels digging into his firm backside. He reaches between us and pinches my clit again, detonating another orgasm with effortless precision. Within seconds of my walls squeezing his length, I feel him jerk inside me. The heat from his release fills me as he drops on top of me, his heartbeat racing in time with my own.