Chapter 6

CHAPTER 6

O nly a tiny beam of light cut through the keyhole of the heavy wood armoire.

Emily tried to remain absolutely still, focusing on the noises of the manor. Several minutes later, the door opened and Godric entered, followed by Blankenship and the magistrate. Emily bit her lip so hard she tasted blood. Her uncle's business partner moved through the room, studying it. She held her breath, terrified he would hear her panicked gasps for air. Finally the inspection of the room was over and the men departed. She sagged against Lucien in relief.

"Christ, that was close," Lucien muttered. "But they might be back. Keep still."

After a quarter of an hour, Godric and Ashton's voices grew louder out in the hall. Lucien loosened his grip on Emily as the armoire door swung open. Ashton and Godric stared at the pair for a second before Godric snatched her out of Lucien's lap and tossed her over his shoulder. Sadly, she was getting used to the treatment. It was easier for him to carry her about whenever she couldn't be trusted to walk. She wasn't a valise that needed to be carted about by a servant.

"Good thinking on the armoire, Lucien. That one fellow was insistent on seeing the rooms." Godric shifted Emily and she grunted in discomfort.

"You could put me down, now," she stated, but it went ignored.

"Thank you," Lucien said. "I have been known to have the occasional stroke of genius. Now who was that other fellow? That wasn't Parr, was it?"

"He introduced himself to me as Mr. Thomas Blankenship. Supposedly, he and Parr are friends."

Blankenship. Why was he here? Why hadn't her uncle come looking for her? She froze, too terrified to move. He'd probably convinced her uncle to let him marry her…a thought so abhorrent she was sick to her stomach. Emily huffed.

"Blankenship?" Lucien growled. "That devil owes me three thousand pounds, he belongs to a group of investors who purchased a bit of property from me."

"Do you know anything about what happened to Lord Pitherington?" Godric asked. "I read about the accident of course, but Blankenship suggested there was more to it."

Lucien's brow furrowed. "Yes. The man was broken by debt earlier this year. Some of my interests were tied in with his, and I took a small hit as well. There were whispers about Blankenship's role in the matter. Pitherington…well…he put a pistol to his mouth when he coul dn't pay, I'm afraid. It was reported as an accident for the sake of the family."

"Well he sounds like an absolutely fantastic fellow, we ought to invite him to our club," Godric drawled sarcastically.

The news that someone hated Blankenship as much as she did gladdened Emily's heart. The enemy of my enemy is my friend…I hope , she thought grimly.

Despite the fact that Godric still had her slung over his shoulder, the men talked on as if she didn't exist. With an irritated grunt, she kicked out to remind them. Godric moved over and dropped her onto Lucien's bed.

"What would Blankenship be doing here?" Ashton asked. "Why didn't Parr come?"

Godric shrugged.

"You wish to know why Blankenship came?" she asked sharply. "Perhaps you should consider asking the one person here actually involved?" They watched her now in surprise.

"You know that man?" Lucien asked.

"Oh, yes, I know him. He's despicable. He's been haunting my uncle's doorway ever since I moved in with him. He's even—" She choked on her words she was so angry.

"He's even what?" Godric's eyes were sharp as jade daggers.

"He's even taken liberties with my person, liberties I have not given him, nor ever will. He's been courting me with the intention to marry me. My uncle thinks I don't know that, but I do. I'm not daft."

All three of the men looked justifiably horrified. At that moment Charles and Cedric joined them. Charles took one look at their faces and his eyes widened.

"What's happened? Did someone die?"

"Someone just might…" Godric muttered under his breath.

Lucien grimaced. "We're fine," he said. "We've just received some unpleasant news."

"Oh?" Cedric held his cane like a sword, his hand resting firmly on the silver lion's head.

"Apparently, Mr. Blankenship believes he has some claim to my Emily," Godric said with disgust.

Emily blushed at Godric's possessive tone, though it still offended her.

"Oh for heaven's sake, stop speaking of me as if I'm an ornament for your shelf." Still, to belong to Godric, it was a thought that gave her pause.

"What? That old toad? Why he'd—" Charles began, but Cedric tapped him on the shoulder with the tip of his cane. Charles decided to not finish.

"He is a vile toad and I hate him," Emily spat with such loathing that her captors exchanged looks of concern.

"But you don't hate us?" Lucien asked, noting her omission.

"What reason would I possibly have to hate any of you? Aside from being kidnapped, that is." She allowed a small reluctant smile. "I suppose I like you all well enough." It made little sense that she trusted them as much as she did; she could barely explain it to herself, let alone to them. Of course the alternative, which had come within a foot of her while she hid in the armoire, was so much worse.

"Well, despite how you may take our actions, keeping you here has been a most amusing challenge." Godric laughed.

Emily narrowed her eyes to slits. "I'm glad my value is based on how much I amuse you."

"Well," Ashton sighed. "At least we escaped a potential disaster. I suppose it's safe enough to resume our day." The others agreed.

"I have some work to do. Emily you will accompany me."

The command in his tone made her bristle but she didn't protest. She wouldn't have won that argument.

Godric escorted Emily down the stairs and gestured for her to sit on a red velvet settee while the others vanished. She took the opportunity to examine the study, richly decorated with bookshelves and odd trinkets. He must have traveled the world. Watercolor paintings of distant locales hung above the chairs, and unusual things—like elephant tusks, no doubt from Africa—had been pinned alongside them.

Godric sat at the large rosewood desk, perusing papers and letters.

She envied him the freedom to get up and leave, not just from the settee, but to go on adventures. If she was forced to marry Blankenship, there would be no chance of adventure ever again.

She scanned the walls again, noticing a small portrait of a raven-haired woman seated on a swing. The cut of her gown was old enough that Emily knew the portrait must have been commissioned years ago. Bewitching eyes glinted at her from the layers of paint. Godric's eyes, save for the color.

"Godric…" she began. He glanced at her warily. "Yes?"

"Who is the lady in that portrait?" Emily leaned against the armrest nearest his desk. "Is it your mother?"

Godric's gaze darkened. "Yes."

"She's very beautiful." Emily saw how much the late Duchess of Essex's son took after her. Godric had the harsh beauty of a Greek sculpture, but each feature held traces of his mother's softened beauty. No wonder he captivated her. Ashton had been right. Godric had his father's power, but his mother's gentleness and compassion.

Godric rose from his chair and walked over to the portrait. "She was a great woman. She never spoke a harsh word to anyone, nor raised a hand against me. I…" Emotion roughened his voice. "I used to climb onto her lap each evening after supper and she would read to me. She always smelled of lilacs. Even now her room still carries the scent."

Emily's chest squeezed around her heart. He was lost in memories; she saw it in the distant focus of his eyes.

"And your father?" She was afraid to break the spell, but she wanted to understand him.

"He loved her in a way he never loved me. I remember the way they danced together. When my mother held her annual ball here, I'd sneak out of the nursery and watch from between the spindles of the stairs. My mother would float across the floor, laughter shining in her eyes. And Father? He would hold her close, smiling like the clouds had opened to reveal the sun. They could waltz for hours, spinning in delicate circles, and I'd watch, enraptured by the sight."

"I am sorry she died," Emily said. Thoughts of her own parents crashed against the walls of her heart and fought to break free. She drew in a deep breath, strengthening herself against the battering.

Godric laughed, but it held no mirth. "We're both orphans, aren't we?"

"I suppose we are." A slight shiver trespassed over her skin. She hadn't realized before now that they had something in common. A long moment of silence passed. Finally, Godric sighed and returned to his desk. His weary expression pained her. She hadn't meant to hurt him by inquiring about his mother. Emily stood up and walked towards his bookshelves.

"Is this the world's slowest escape attempt? If so shall I order tea before pursuing you this time?"

His sarcasm prickled her pride. "I simply wish to find a book to read. It would help to pass the time."

His eyes stayed on hers. She let her honest intentions shine from her eyes. She truly did just want to read.

Her mother had taught her the pleasure of books. As a child she'd been a wild hoyden. Her father had indulged her in every boyish entertainment from riding to climbing trees and fishing. But as much as she loved to catch a perch and haul it into the boat with her father, something magical overcame her while reading with her mother. They'd curl up on the worn couch, find one of the larger illustrated tomes about the natural sciences, and study the renderings of each exotic creature. For a moment, Emily lost herself in that memory, and with piercing agony was pulled back to the present.

Godric went over to the shelf on the right side of his desk and selected a book for her. All her senses sharpened when he sat next to her on the edge of the settee. Godric placed the book in her lap, then took her hands in his.

Her eyes shut for the briefest moment as she enjoyed his touch. Godric stroked her wrists, gazing down at her.

"Emily, I demand a payment for this. Should you refuse, I'll take the book back." He reached out and tucked a lock of loose hair behind her ear. His fingers lingered on the sensitive spot below her ear. A sharp tingle shot down her spine at the touch.

Emily bit her lower lip. What payment would he demand for so small a pleasure? She was afraid that his price would be something she'd pay without hesitation. When his gaze fixed on her, like emeralds pulled from blazing fires, she felt his hands already upon her body. "What is your price?"

His eyes fell straight to her lips, and she did the same. The soft lines bracketing his mouth often turned hard when she frustrated him. It was one of his flaws, that hardness that could turn his sensual features so cold.

"I want you to kiss me." His voice was a hoarse whisper.

But his phrasing didn't make sense. She was to kiss him?

"I have kissed you, but you've never kissed me back. I want your full participation."

"But I don't know the first thing about kissing." Until now, she'd just enjoyed the rush of sensations he thrust upon her, contributing nothing, only taking. But it was improper to talk so openly of physical intimacy.

Godric just smiled, a gentle twist at the corners of his mouth. "With enough practice you'll learn. A few minutes with me as a tutor and you will be a master." His grip tightened, as though their talk had excited him.

"One kiss? You won't demand anything more of me?"

"One kiss, but you won't get away with a saintly peck on the cheek, Emily. I demand a real kiss."

"Demand?"

"Request," he amended.

"Request or you'll deny me my book? Still sounds like a demand."

"God's blood, woman, you are trying my patience." He seemed to be suppressing a smile.

Could she accept a devil's bargain? Godric's kisses robbed her of rationality. But if she didn't prove she could best him, even at a kiss, then he would win. But this question transcended a game. Kissing him was a dare she wanted to accept. Part of her yearned to show him she was a woman who desired him and that she could kiss as well as any woman he'd been with before.

Heart waltzing in her chest, she spoke: "I agree then. One kiss." She felt compelled to offer her hand to shake on the deal but she knew he'd only laugh, so she refrained.

Emily took the book and set it aside. Godric rested his palms on the tops of his muscular thighs. He ceded control to her, allowed her to take action. For some reason this both comforted and aroused her, and she found the courage to reach up and take his face in her hands.

The ghost of a beard that shadowed the line of his jaw was rough beneath her palms. Her skin tingled and her breath quickened. His eyes fixed on hers, lacing a spell around her with their magic. He was too far away, and she needed him closer. Her fingertips slid back to curl around either side of his neck so she could pull his mouth down to hers. He dipped his head, the tendons of his neck taut beneath her hands, vibrating with tension, energy, all focused through one single place—his mouth.

Just before they kissed, his warm breath danced over her lips, mixing with her own. The intimacy of that instant seared her inside. No wonder women were compromised so often, it was impossible to resist something like this. The excited breaths, that delicious moment right…before…a kiss.

Godric's lips met hers in a soft yielding blossom of tender heat. He didn't respond right away, but let her explore his mouth without resistance. She grew bolder, wanting more from him than she really understood. She mimicked some motions he had used on her. Her tongue teased his lips, enticing him to open his mouth to her, and when at last he did, a thrill of triumph struck deep in her belly.

She gave into the pure physical senses. That masculine aroma of sandalwood and spice, uniquely his, imprinted itself in her. Emily's heartbeat doubled as his tongue finally danced back with hers, but he did not invade her as he'd done by the lake. It seemed he meant to keep his promise that she was to kiss him.

She moved her fingers into the roots of his hair at the nape of his neck, ruffling the dark glossy hair, enjoying the breathlessness that it stirred in Godric as his mouth mated with hers. He shivered beneath her touch and excitement flowed through her to discover she'd found a weakness in him.

Ashton's stories about Godric's abuse at his father's hands added tenderness to her kiss that she hadn't expected. Leaning into him, she raised herself up, pressing her chest against his, wrapping her arms tight about his shoulders to hold him. She spoke without words, telling him she wished she could erase the darkest of his memories.

When Emily's kiss changed, it shook Godric to his core. He felt something beyond curiosity and innocence. A storm of emotions flowed from her—tenderness, protectiveness, ferocity, but also another emotion, one that ran deeper than the seas.

Something impossibly wonderful was born between them in that breathless kiss, and it terrified him. His heart thudded painfully as her fingertips caressed his neck again. His body tensed with desire, but her lips stilled him.

She tempered his impulse to take her with primal violence with a mere swirl of her tongue and her body pressed against his in a way that meant to comfort and not entice. Somehow, his hands wound around her, fingers digging into her lower back to urge her closer. How could a kiss soothe and excite all at the same time? That had never happened before in his life, and it scared him. He had to free himself of Emily, had to sever the invisible gossamer strands that connected his heart to hers. He couldn't do this, couldn't fall for her. It was wrong. They were wrong for each other.

He reached up, disentangling her hands from his neck, and pulled his lips out of reach. Emily's eyes fluttered open, as startled as a butterfly caught by a sudden breeze.

He wanted to apologize, but words were beyond him. He'd been struck speechless. That kiss was more dangerous than she could possibly know. It had cut him open, exposed his soul. If she ever kissed him like that again, he'd be lost…

"Godric?" Worry tainted Emily's beautiful face.

Something had to be done before he lost himself in the storm that brewed in her violet eyes. Before he sought to calm it and return to the comfort.

"I'm sorry. I should not have asked a child to kiss me." He stood and turned his back on her, leaving her alone in the room with her book.

A child? Godric's words had wounded her, a clawing pain in the center of her soul. Tears sprang to her eyes and she buried her face in her hands, burning with shame.

She looked up to the sound of soft-booted footsteps across the carpet.

Ashton stood at the doorway, eyes dark as sapphires. He came to her without a word. Silent sobs wracked her body as Ashton held her close to his chest.

How could Godric just walk away? He thought she was a child still? After everything? She was a woman, with a woman's heart and woman's pride and she was trying to learn—she wanted to learn everything from him—but he'd scorned the first true kiss she'd ever given anyone. The agony in her heart was so great she felt sure it had shattered into a thousand glittering pieces.

Emily cursed her foolishness, her belief that she could be desired by a man like Godric. She was the last woman on earth someone like him would ever love.

Love… Did she want his love?

Did she love him? When had her anger and frustration with him changed into something deeper and softer? Lord help her, she couldn't love him.

But surely only love could cause pain like this.

Ashton wasn't sure what transpired between his friend and Emily, but her tears moved him more than anything had in years.

Since Emily had come into their lives, parts he had thought long dead were reawakening. The urge to protect was the strongest now, to punish the source of her tears, even if it was Godric who paid the price. They had all vowed to ensure her well-being and that, in his eyes, included this.

Despite her tender years, Emily was a strong woman, and until now he hadn't seen her cry. Godric must have done something terrible to leave her so inconsolable.

"Hush now, my dear, shh." She quieted at his words. "There, now. Can you tell me what happened?" Ashton cupped her chin and lifted her face up towards his.

"I don't know if I can say…" Her cheeks warmed with a soft peach blush.

"Please, Emily. I don't want to see you hurt again, so I must know what to protect you from."

Emily drew in a slow shuddering breath. "I asked Godric if I could read a book. He said that if I wanted to, I would have to kiss him as payment."

Rising fury darkened Ashton's heart.

"But I'm not very good at it, and he said he'd teach me."

Ashton's animosity grew.

"Did he…did he force you? Did he get rough with you?" he asked, a dangerous edge to his words.

Emily shook her head.

"Then why are you crying?"

"It was what he said to me afterwards… He said he shouldn't have asked a child to kiss him. A child! " She buried her face in his chest again.

Ashton was confused. He couldn't understand what had gone wrong. What could lead Godric to say such an odd thing? Women were always natural kissers and caught on quickly. It was men who needed practice to master the art.

There was no reason for Godric to have said such a cruel thing, not when she'd done as he'd asked. "Emily, look at me, dear."

She did.

"What did you do when you kissed him? Can you tell me?" Perhaps he might learn what had bothered his friend.

"I just kissed him. I thought about what you had told me about him, about his childhood and his father, and I kissed him. Did I do it wrong?"

The shadows underneath Ashton's eyes lightened a little. "I'm sure you did not."

"Then why?"

Ashton put a finger to her lips. "I believe you have done something to Godric that no one has done before. It scared him. He needs time to sort his feelings out. Can you be patient with him?"

"But what did I do?"

"You really don't know, my dear?"

Emily shook her head.

"You kissed him from the depths of your heart."

Her brows drew together as she considered his answer. "Isn't that how everyone is supposed to kiss?"

It pained him to realize that she was as sweet and innocent as she appeared. No man under this roof was worthy of such a heart as hers. Ashton held her hands together, kissing them softly before he spoke.

"If everyone kissed as you do, men would never leave their lovers to go to war, fathers would never beat their children and wives would never worry about unfaithful husbands because there would be none. More of us should kiss with our hearts. No matter what Godric said, remember this. What you've shown in your kiss is priceless."

And Emily had reminded Ashton that he'd once wanted something more from life. He silently thanked her for this epiphany by kissing her forehead. He helped her up and escorted her out of Godric's study and back to her room.

"I have a matter to settle with Godric. May I ask you to stay here unguarded until tomorrow? Charles has wagered twice our previous amount that you'll escape before dawn, and I would very much like to see him lose."

It wasn't the first time her escape attempts had been compared to sport, but how Ashton said it made Emily laugh. "In fact we were discussing giving you a ten minute head start tomorrow," he added.

"You are?"

"Oh yes. On foot, of course. Then we'll use horses and hounds to chase you."

"You cannot be serious."

Ashton grinned. "Of course not. But it made you laugh. Now, will you give me your word of honor as the daughter of a gentleman not to try and escape until tomorrow?"

Emily nodded, weary from the emotional onslaught she'd suffered but warmed by Ashton's odd humor. "On my father's honor."

"Thank you." He stroked her hair and pressed his lips to her forehead before he left her alone. He paused at the door, watching her as she fell back onto her bed and lay still, counting her breaths.

"I must always kiss from the depths of my heart…" she murmured to herself after he'd gone.

Godric stormed into the boxing room where Charles and Cedric had gathered to engage in a bit of pugilism. Charles, an expert boxer, loved to go a few rounds in the ring when in London. Of course, the rings Charles often found himself in were often less than reputable. Though he spent hours training at Jackson's Salon, he preferred the rougher rings, in which he proved himself.

Cedric danced back as Charles attacked. "Godric? You look murderous."

"The little brat twisting your trousers?" Charles joked as he swung a loose punch in Cedric's direction, missing by several inches.

Godric tore off his waistcoat and started to roll up his sleeves. He nodded to Cedric who left the lined ring in the corner of the large leisure room.

"Shut up and fight me, Charles."

Charles smirked, always ready to throw punches in Godric's direction when the occasion arose.

They had only been at it for a few minutes when Ashton and Lucien walked in, both visibly upset. Lucien looked nervous while coldness burned behind Ashton's face .

Godric was so startled to see that expression that Charles caught him off-guard and planted a facer. Ashton peeled off his jacket and vest, handing them to Lucien as he rolled up his sleeves.

It was then that Godric realized all five of them were without Emily.

"Wait a minute… Who's watching Emily?"

Lucien answered. "She's in her room. She gave Ash her word she would not escape anymore today."

"And you believed her?" Godric shouted. "She could be miles away by now!"

"If she promised, then I believe she'll stay put," Lucien said with a coolness that left Godric more anxious than before.

Ashton, who'd been silent, came to the ring and spoke to Charles. "Mind if I step in?"

"No, you may not!" Godric didn't want to fight Ashton when he looked the way he did, not if he didn't even know from whence his friend's anger stemmed. Godric had every right to be angry with Emily for what she'd dared to do, the way he felt as a result. What was Ashton's excuse?

Charles looked between Godric and Ashton and, knowing any place was better than here at the moment, he bowed and fled the ring.

"Scared of a little competition, Godric?" Ashton's words teased, but Godric sensed the veiled threat.

"You've never beaten me in the ring, Ash. Today will be no different." It would be a pity, but he'd bloody his friend's nose to prove his point.

"Good, glad to hear it." The cold smile on Ashton's face promised pain. He raised his fists and waited for Godric.

Godric danced a few steps to the right, Ashton mirrored him to the left, and so it began. But rather than box defensively, as he usually did, Ashton seemed eager to meet Godric's every blow. It caught him off-guard and Ashton landed a blow to his stomach. Godric doubled over with the pain.

Ashton didn't wait for Godric to right himself before he charged and knocked him so hard that Godric flew back several steps. Charles moved to intervene, but Lucien stayed him with a hand.

Adapting to Ashton's ferocity, Godric retaliated. He snuck in a left-handed hook and caught Ashton in the right eye. It would blacken nicely by the next morning. But his victory was short-lived as Ashton returned the favor.

The fight continued for another five minutes. Ashton fought as though possessed. His relentless pursuit wore Godric down. None of the others interfered. Some things could only be resolved in a ring.

Godric fell back again, finally finding his breath.

"Dammit, man, why are you trying to pound me into oblivion?"

"Why?" Ashton punctuated the word with a blow to Godric's lower cheek. Blood dribbled down from Godric's split lip. "If I ever find out that you've made that dear woman cry even one more tear, so help me, Godric…"

Ashton spoke with such venom that Godric's fists dropped. Ashton finished him off with an uppercut. Godric toppled backwards, landing on the mat with a loud groan. Ashton lowered his hands to wipe his bloody knuckles on his trousers.

"Well, I think my point has been made." He took a few deep breaths, approached Godric and held out a hand.

He took it and Ashton pulled Godric onto his feet. "Point taken, friend. I've done her a great harm and needed to be reminded of my vow."

Ashton clamped a hand down on his shoulder in approval. "Sorry, Godric, but I knew there was no other way to get through to you."

"Just answer me one question. Was I off my game or have you always gone easy on me in the ring?"

"You will never find that out, I'm afraid." He turned on his heel and retrieved his clothes from Lucien. Once they'd cooled off and were fully dressed, Ashton turned back to Godric.

"Now that this matter is behind us, I believe you owe a large stack of books and an apology to a certain lady."

"She told you about…"

Ashton smiled. "She told me everything. She's so traumatized by your cruelty that she's convinced she was a wretched kisser. You know that is the worst thing men like us can do to a woman. We're rakes, not bastards. We seek to love women, not spurn them."

"What on earth did you do to that sweet kitten?" Cedric demanded.

When Godric didn't reply, Ashton sighed. "Godric demanded a kiss, and when she did he dared to chastise her for kissing like a child. You'll be lucky if she ever forgives you."

Shame heated Godric's face, but he reminded himself that he'd walked away for her sake and his. He couldn't allow Emily to fall in love with him, but that was exactly what her kiss threatened.

As if reading this thoughts, Ashton put a hand on Godric's shoulder. "I think she has feelings for you, Godric."

The men left the boxing room and moved into the main hall. Simkins passed by and froze at the sight of his bruised and bloody master. "Your Grace?"

"Don't worry, Simkins, just having a bit of fun."

"Very good. I'll send a maid to clean up, Your Grace." Simkins looked over Godric into the boxing room. "Perhaps two are in order? And one of the larger buckets?" He bowed and departed.

Godric decided Ashton was right. For that one kiss Emily had earned a stack of books.

Emily was curled up on the window seat when someone knocked on her bedroom door.

"Come in." Her eyes were focused on the gardens below. The faint ghost of her face reflected in the thick pane of glass. Emily put her hand on the glass and let the sun's warmth heat her cool palm. For a moment she lost herself in the sensation, letting everything else drift away, before the world demanded she face it again.

"Emily?" Godric's voice played like a forbidden symphony. She turned her head just enough to present him with her profile but didn't look at him. She couldn't bear it. She wanted to go back to despising him for his pig-headed nonsense.

Loving him would be the greatest mistake of my life. He'd break my heart. I'd be left with nothing .

"Emily, I've brought you something." A rustle sounded from behind her, and items fell on her bed. The door settled in its frame as Godric shut it.

"Please, just go," she said. But her heart ached to beg him to stay, to take back his cruel words.

"If that is what you want—"

She nodded.

"But I have something to say first. Will you please look at me?" Footsteps came closer, that scent so uniquely his, so close behind her.

Emily turned. Her lips parted in horror at his bruised and bleeding face.

"Godric, you've been hurt!" She reached up to his face but did not touch, afraid to harm him further. He patted her hands and she winced at his bruised knuckles. For a long second neither of them spoke. Something between them had changed. She was forced to admit she cared about him and he was revealing a tenderness she hadn't thought he was capable of. His eyes met hers, a spark shared between them and a blush heated her cheeks.

"What happened?"

"Ashton and I had a discussion. A rather thorough one."

He kissed her hands and released them then pointed to the bed. A stack of books had toppled over in a small literary heap. There had to be at least eight. Curiosity got the best of her. She climbed onto the bed to peruse the titles. It was an unexpected pleasure to find that he'd brought her more than she'd asked for. Emily dared not look at him, her eyes still red from the weight of tears. Instead she turned her attention to the gift he'd brought and what it might mean.

When she climbed up onto the bed, Godric wanted to catch hold of her from behind. She looked irresistible with the loose curls of hair on her neck and the sway of her bottom. She moved with the grace of a wood nymph. He knew she would be a playful bed partner, eager and delightful in her moments of rapture. What the blazes is wrong with me?

He fought off the heady rush of desire and focused on her. Emily's hands caressed the covers of each book, her eyes roving over the selection, oblivious to him. Godric feared he would ruin the moment if he joined her, but decided to take the chance. He eased himself on the edge of the bed nearest her while she sorted the books into piles.

"I brought a little of everything. I was unsure as to your preference."

Emily tucked up her skirts around her knees as she folded her legs to sit more comfortably.

"Philosophy, art, gothic romances, sciences." She scanned the piles with such delight that Godric expected snow to fall outside, for her eyes lit up like a child's during Christmas. He wished in that moment he was a poet or an artist, so desperate was he to capture the beauty of Emily's soul. Her eyes flicked up to meet his, a blush coloring her face. In the afternoon light he could make out the faintest smattering of freckles across the bridge of her nose. Most women would have hidden them with powder. Not Emily, she bore them without a thought. He adored that about her, she did not dwell on what other women would have seen as flaws.

"I'm intrigued by your choices. What makes you think I would be interested in science or philosophy?"

"You struck me as an intellectual reader, not one prone to frivolous reading such as books on sewing or manners."

"Manners?" Emily scoffed. "A rather bold claim coming from you. But these are all excellent choices. However, you've brought me too many." She pushed them all away save one, The Iliad and The Odyssey .

Godric leaned over and with the sweep of his arm brought the books back. "Consider the rest a prelude to my apology." He caught her chin in one hand, his thumb sweeping over her chin and up to outline the bottom of her lower lip.

"You are apologizing?"

"Yes, and not just for what I said earlier, but for everything—the abduction, the lake and the laudanum. All of it." He meant it too. Hurting her seemed akin to stabbing his own heart and he couldn't bear it. She was weakening him, and he should send her away before she destroyed his solitary life. But the thought of not seeing her was equally incomprehensible. She leaned into his caress, like a cat seeking affection. That simple action seared him with a heated pleasure.

"Don't apologize for everything." Her lashes fluttered as she looked at him, a secretive smile on her lips.

"I've not wronged you by all my actions then?" He laughed.

"Not all your actions." She studied the book she held, then opened the pages and sighed.

"My mistake: I forgot you could not read Greek." Godric reached for the novel she held. While the title was typeset in English, the text itself was entirely in Greek .

"This is one of my favorite stories. My father never cared for novels, but he loved the classics and would read this one to me often." She held it out to him. "Would you read it to me?"

"But you won't be able to understand it. I suppose I could translate it for you." He took the book from her curiously.

"I know the story by heart in English, and if you just read it aloud to me in Greek, I can imagine it myself and follow along. Consider it another part of your apology."

Godric stretched out on the bed and Emily joined him, curling her body up against him, her head on his shoulder. He let the book fall open to the first page, took a deep breath, and began to read.

The next hour passed in soft sunlight and the murmur of a foreign tongue. He was a child again, reveling in the pleasure of a well-told tale and the comfort of Emily's presence. He cherished the innocent fall of her head on his shoulder and tucked her against him by wrapping one arm around her waist.

When he reached a good stopping point, he marked his place with the purple satin bookmark and set it aside, turning his attention to Emily. How long had it been since he'd spent time with a woman on a bed, sharing an intimate moment that didn't end in the shedding of clothes? Too long. This moment contained a fullness, a ripeness, that gave him a bottomless sense of peace. But something this grand and enchantingly perfect could never last.

He didn't deserve her.

He wasn't worthy of love, especially not Emily's .

She'd return to her uncle and be married to that horrible Blankenship fellow just to settle a debt. Surely there had to be a way to save her from such a fate, but he couldn't think of one. It was impossible to make her his mistress. She'd find him unworthy and her disappointment would kill him. Could he marry her? Offer her a life uncertain of love? Godric forced himself to stop thinking of something so wretched and tried to turn his mind elsewhere.

"Shall we go to dinner?" His breath stirred her hair.

She tilted her face up, lips brushing his so lightly it was more a memory of a kiss. "Yes."

Emily moved away and in that moment Godric's heart leapt to follow her. What if she was his, not just now, but always?

A potent yearning gnawed deep in him for such a life. The despair that followed required Godric to quiet the unfamiliar urge to rage and cry all at once, and master himself again.

He still needed to make sure she would not fall for him. It shouldn't be too hard—he just had to be himself.