Chapter 8

Now I was seeing things? I closed my eyes, not wanting to see Beckett’s face. I’d done him wrong, and I didn’t deserve to be looking at him. Tears trickled from the corners of my eyes. Hands gripped my shoulders and shook me, but I struggled against them.

“No,” I mumbled, keeping my eyes squeezed shut.

“Maya, look at me. I’m here.”

His voice. No, it wasn’t true. “No,” I repeated with more force. “You’re dead.”

Fingers dug into my cheeks, and a warm palm cupped my chin. The hold angled my head up, and I glared.

Then tensed.

Cinnamon assaulted my senses in the best way possible, and my stomach warmed.

No, this was a trick. He wasn’t alive. I yanked away from him and jumped to my feet so fast that the world spun.

Multiple pairs of eyes focused on me.

I was imagining all of them? Had I lost it? I laughed, shaking my head.

Fake Enzo scowled up at me. “What is wrong with her?” he snapped at fake Tanner.

Getting them untangled from my life was the only way they could live on. I only brought death.

“What did you say?” Fake Elliot asked.

I ignored the vampire and shoved past him.

“ Merde , what is she mumbling under her breath, did any of you catch that?”

I needed to free them. Staggering out of the living room, I barreled into Lucian’s office. There had to be something in here that gave me answers. Lucian always had answers. I didn’t know what I searched for, but something had to help me . Starting at the eye-level shelf, I began pulling book after book out, making my way down the wall. Psychology, economics, management . . . more and more books that had nothing promising to offer. The words on the covers seemed to move around, but I wouldn’t stop until I found something. There had to be a useful fucking book on one of these wall-to-wall shelves. I kicked Lucian’s desk chair out of the way and continued on the next slat. Tears dripped down my chin.

Fake Beckett called my name. I shivered at the sound of his voice. I’d never hear it again. I swallowed repeatedly. This unbearable ache would do me in before I took out Osmodus.

I propped my forehead against one of the blunt edges of the shelf.

“Maya.” Again, his voice.

Gripping my head, I squeezed my temples. I needed to get away—I had to quiet them, but I left my bottle in the living room.

Books coated the floor, and I stumbled over them, avoiding the mates my brain had conjured. Fake Tanner pulled Enzo back before he grabbed at me.

I staggered back to the living room and dropped to the floor. I was truly losing my mind . . . or I’d already lost it. A dry sob pushed free from my throat. Hugging my knees to my chest, I plucked the half drank bottle off the ground where I left it. It was nearly to my mouth when a hand wrapped around the neck of it, fingers grazing mine. Beckett crouched next to me.

Sadness clogged my throat in the form of a knot. That emotion was separate from me, like when my mate’s emotions filtered through me. Cinnamon filled my nose again. I shook my head. Hard. Beckett blurred as my mind raced.

I blinked, and my eyes dropped to our hands. His touch . . . I could feel him?

I needed a few damn moments to think. To wrap my head around every fucking thing. Emotions collided in my chest, and I went limp, energy leaking from my limbs. I sagged against the couch, trying to breathe evenly. Clarity crept over the fuzziness brought on by alcohol.

His thumb rubbed the back of my fingers in a gentle caress.

Goosebumps rose on my arms. I wasn’t imagining it.

He . . . wasn’t dead? He withdrew his touch, and I closed my eyes tight. Had I let my brain run off after attacking him and thought I’d killed him when it hadn’t been a fatal wound? Arms wrapped around my body, squeezing me to his chest.

My stomach verged on exploding, but there were so many emotions, I didn’t know what to do with them. They weren’t a hallucination?

My head lolled to the side, my cheek pressing against his hard chest. His sigh fluttered the hair at my temples. I couldn’t face them right now, especially Beckett.

“Look at me, Maya,” Beckett mumbled, the frustration-tinged words shocking life into my system.

I wet my lips and opened my eyes to Beckett’s blue gaze. I thought I would never see him again. My eyes trailed over his faint stubble. The gaunt look on his face caused by the curse hadn’t disappeared, but clarity shone in his eyes. A curled wave of hair fell over his forehead.

A vice constricted around my heart. “Beckett,” I whimpered.

“Yes, baby. I’m right here.”

He wasn’t dead.

This was his touch. He wasn’t dead.

I inhaled his scent like a woman drowning. The hollowness in my stomach deepened, and I shuddered. I lunged at him, wrapping my arms and legs around him like a monkey. I wanted to feel every inch of his body against mine. He gripped my hips, and I settled over his lap, straddling him. My thighs opened, and my pussy was flush against a hard bulge. I gasped, my hips grinding down with a mind of their own. Hunger clawed at my insides.

“I need you,” I croaked. I fisted his shirt between my fingers.

“Anything for you,” he breathed, shuddering as his fingers pressed hard into my ass, forcing my sex against him with a roughness that sent shockwaves through my core.

Beckett was in my arms, alive. How? I had seen his dead body. His lifeless blue eyes . . . but I’d been wrong? I’d thought his life had faded right in front of me, but it had been so hectic. I must have seen wrong. It was the only explanation with him whole in my arms.

I whimpered against his mouth, curling my tongue around his. A vice tightened around my neck, and I clutched him harder. I’d believed he died. A small exhale left his mouth. He matched me by holding me so tight that my breasts plastered to his chest. It bordered on painful, but I didn’t give a fuck at the moment; I just wanted him all around me.

Reaching down to the waist of my jeans, I ripped the seams with a quick tug and tossed the piece of denim to the side. A breeze caressed my nude thigh.

“I love you, Runt, so much.”

I never thought I’d get to hear those words again. I wanted to say it back, but they stuck in my throat.

He yanked the front of his jeans down with a tug, and his claws grazed my skin, brushing away the torn fabric still clinging to me. Fur burst across his arms and traveled up his throat. With a thrust, he plunged into my heat, but halted me midway down his cock. The thick shaft took my breath away. Pressure overwhelmed my channel, and he fed the rest of himself into me inch by inch. My pussy clasped him, making him groan. His gaze stayed fastened to my face. His knot pressed against my entrance, offering some resistance. Air hissed out between his teeth and his grip at my hips forced me down. My thighs slapped against his and the fullness stretched my entrance. I sucked in a breath. He was real and mine. Everything we’d been through had been a trial to get us here. A moan crawled up my throat and I grinded on him, feeling him so deep. Beckett growled, bucking his hips to meet my little hip movements.

Fucking Beckett used to be something I dreamed about before I understood what ‘fucking’ was. There were no longer reservations or walls between us, which I’d kept there because of all the pain he’d put me through. I still didn’t like what he’d done, but I had been making progress.

I clutched his shoulders, digging my fingers into the wide muscles of his back. Arching my spine, I fucked him as hard as he fucked me, his knot popping in and out of my pussy with each thrust.

Beckett’s knot swelled, and my breathing stuttered. I sank my teeth into my bottom lip to bite back a scream. He continued forcing the knot in and out of me, and with each move his shaft rubbed my clit. Electricity coursed through my legs, sending tremors everywhere. I tightened my knees at his sides to stifle the furious trembles, but they could not be stopped.

With a grunt, he moved forward to pin me to the floor, rutting into me so hard my spine slammed into the carpet with repeated thuds.

My pussy squeezed around his cock, and he froze as his knot thickened. In an explosive release, I went over the cliff. Squeezing my eyelids shut, I whimpered, tightening my hold around him as he buried his nose in my hair.

His cum washed inside me with such vehemence, I felt it jut into my womb. Shuddering against him, I sighed and clung to his neck. A full sensation replaced the hollow hunger pangs that bordered on agony. Yet only a fraction of my ravenousness abated. I didn’t want to feed off him, but I was too weak to stop it.

Beckett’s chest vibrated with a low growl, and he rubbed his cheek against my hair. I nuzzled his neck. Inhaling deep, I took in as much of his cinnamon scent as I could. I never thought I’d smell him again. Tears prickled my eyes, and I hooked my ankles at his spine, not wanting to remove myself from his cock.

Beckett’s panting tapered off and he rolled upright to lean his back against the couch, with me still attached to him.

“I never fucked her, Maya,” he choked, like he’d been holding onto those words for decades. “There’s so much to make up for, but at the very least, I’m glad that wasn’t true.”

“You were cursed. Not in your right mind?—”

“Enough,” he said gruffly. “You can’t deny I hurt you.” He paused, eyes searching my face.

Every crude deed he’d done flooded my brain. His words and the women were the most notable. The first time he’d pulled at the ends of a girl’s hair, it had torn me up inside, yet that was the least of it.

I tried not giving anything away with my face.

“If you can’t forgive me, I will live with it. The single thing I can’t handle is staying away from you.”

“You want to be near me after what I’ve done?” I shook my head. “For fucks sake, Beckett, I carved my name into your chest.” I paused to suck in a harsh breath. “I should be asking all of you to forgive me .” The words burned in my throat.

A soft, familiar leather touch pressed into my spine. Tanner’s eucalyptus scent descended, wrapping me in comfort, and the press of his torso flattened on my spine. He brushed my hair back and pressed a kiss to my shoulder.

“Love, there’s nothing to forgive.”

That wasn’t true, but I wouldn’t convince them. I lived with the memories of how I’d treated them, of how I had taken my revenge. Committing acts of cruelty the way they had done to me did not make me feel any better. It tore at my heart.

“But—”

“Shut it,” Enzo demanded, his knees thumping on the ground. His large palm wrapped into my hair, sending spikes of pain through my scalp. He urged my head toward him. “You’re going to piss me off if you keep it up.” A rumbled vibrated through his words. I huffed, and he pressed his lips to mine, swallowing my exasperated exhale. “You can carve my chest up with your name whenever you want, pretty girl.”

Their three bodies overwhelmed my senses and took up the space surrounding me. Enzo’s shoulders touched both Tanner and Beckett, and they didn’t throw a fit.

The fucking prickling started up in my nose again. I sniffled and wiggled on Beckett’s cock. I should probably not be speared on him while we were having such a deep conversation.

“You guys should back up and give me some space,” I said, clearing my throat.

“I want to see her too,” an irritated, accented voice snapped. Long fingers slipped between Enzo and Beck’s shoulders as Elliot forced his way between them with a disgruntled hiss. He lowered his head and pressed his lips to mine.

I sighed against his mouth.

The pressure of the knot in my pussy loosened, telling me I could tug away without resistance, but fuck, I didn’t want to. My thighs twitched, and I thoughtlessly wiggled. Beckett’s lips parted, and I sank back so my shoulders were propped by Tanner.

Elliot’s dark long eyelashes lowered, and he swept his gaze down the shirt to my waist to where Beckett’s cock lodged inside me.

“Oh, ma petite monstre , you do not need space,” Elliot purred. His fingers slid down my neck, trailing past my collarbone. He caressed the neckline of my shirt and with a twitch of his wrist, tore it down the middle, exposing me.

Chills skittered down my spine, and I hummed. Elliot lowered, his onyx hair rustling and tickling the swell of my breast.

He fastened his mouth around my nipple. The utter hold he had on me was unfair and—he sank his fang into the tender side. I screamed as my pussy clenched, holding onto the cock inside me.

Beckett sucked in a breath. “Do that to her again,” he growled. Tanner’s hand cupped the back of my neck as he continued to brace me. A mouth captured mine and a firewood scent slipped onto my tongue with Enzo’s insistent kiss.

I don’t know what kind of maneuvering, or which of them it was, but searching fingers slipped down my belly to my clit. The hard press of a finger spiked my hips up, forcing me to slide on Beckett.

Another suck from Elliot had me dripping wet.

Thick fingers speared into my core, forcing their way in with the cock still buried inside me, and rubbed against the needy walls of my pussy. A wet popping sound accompanied their withdrawal.

Enzo lifted his lips from mine and licked his fingers.

“I could live off your taste,” he rumbled against my mouth. He fed his fingers into my core again as Beckett’s claws sliced into my ass, and he ground me against him. His knot rubbed my clit where the pressure was heightened from Enzo’s fingers. He slid inside with jerky, uncontrolled thrusts, forcing his knot in and out of me with a possessiveness that stole my breath.

A swell built in my belly and washed over my sex with a throbbing release. My mouth opened on a cry, and I convulsed around his cock, forcing him over with me. I could practically feel the jut of release inside me. It spilled into my body like a shot of adrenaline to my system—feeding me.I sucked in a breath and held it, imagining a barrier surrounding me, very much like the cage I used to imagine my anger living in. The mental block managed to shut off the part of me absorbing his energy.

Elliot pierced my nipple once more, shooting me over the edge again with sinful sucks.Chills skittered up my limbs. I moaned.

“My turn,” Enzo snarled and tore the button off his jeans. He shoved Beckett out of the way, popping his knot from my pussy and releasing a gush of cum from my core. Lifting me with ease, Enzo dropped me to the ground. I gasped, suddenly staring at the stars through the skylight.

Enzo blocked it out with his body and pounded his cock inside me so hard my breath wrenched free. “Fuck, yes.” His piercing rasped against my clit, sending shockwaves down my legs. “I’m going to ravage my fucking pussy.”

I could only whimper.

The tight shirt he wore showed his rippling muscles. Smoke plumed from his nostrils, and he bared his teeth, thrusting furiously.

Each rut slapped his thighs into mine with a rhythmic beat. Elliot leaned over my face with a grin and grazed his nose down my cheek. Trailing his fangs down my breast, Elliot reopened the bite marks.

I hoisted my hips higher to get more of Enzo’s cock.

As Elliot dragged in more blood, each suck pushed me toward the precipice. Having so many of them was a dangerous combination.

Enzo’s shoulders shuddered, and his pupils quivered before thinning. Then he grew as he tapped into his half shift, his cock growing within me. The roughness of his ridged shaft stole my breath. Fire blazed across my skin and teased my core as Enzo forced another orgasm from my pussy. He grunted, slamming into me until his cock twitched, and a flood exploded from the tip. Energy leaked from Enzo into me, but I quickly snipped it off like before. He pulled out mid-thrust and warmth spread on my belly, as he painted me with his cum.

Elliot rested against my breast; his finger teasingly flicking my nipple. He seemed drunk off my blood and almost kitten-like as he rubbed my skin.

My fingers slid over my flesh, and I rubbed the cream into my stomach with a drowsy smile. My head fell to the side to find a panting Beckett watching my hand on my stomach. Lust blazed in his eyes.

Tanner’s hand cupped the back of my head and leaned over me, kissing me upside down. He propped my shoulders on his legs, and I sagged against him, rubbing my cheek against his thigh. He peered down at me with that soft expression I hadn’t yet become accustomed to seeing.