Chapter 29

A thump wrenched me from sleep. With a ragged exhale, Beckett smacked at the bed until his fingers touched my arm. He trembled so hard the mattress shook. His touch retreated, and he jerked off the bed. The door whooshed wide enough that light from the hall bathroom illuminated the floor outside Beckett’s bedroom where we’d all slept.

I propped myself on my elbows as retching echoed through the hall.

Tanner pulled me to his chest. “Give him a second,” he said gruffly into my hair.

Elliot lay near my thigh, his arm hooked around my leg, and he nuzzled my hip. Enzo had the floor today since the bed wasn’t large enough.

The shower head sputtered to life, and I remained on edge, waiting for Beckett to be done so I could check on him. He’d been acting odd, but I’d wanted to give him space. He could’ve come to me and told me what was bothering him, but he hadn’t. Which meant I had to confront him. And I would—I’d given him enough time.

The water shut off and the heavy thuds of him climbing down the stairs echoed to me. Tanner released me, and I scooted off the bed, extricating myself from Elliot. As soon as I was free, he tossed an arm over Tanner’s blanket covered legs. Tanner sighed and crossed his arms as he stared at the ceiling.

I shoved my feet into my monster claw slippers and shuffled from the room. Beckett had had enough time to sulk. Honestly, I’d given him more time than I should have.

Letting go of the banister, I crept closer. The glow of lights spilled into the foyer from the living room. Beck sat on the living room floor, arms hanging off his knees. He didn’t turn as I settled next to him with my legs crossed. Red and green lights flickered over his features. The roulette of colors illuminated the strain of his mouth.

What had driven him to the point of vomiting?

“What’s . . . wrong?”

“I’m fine, Maya.”

His voice was rough and abused. A ball settled in my stomach, weighing my organs down. “Look at me, Beckett.”

His gaze fastened on my lips.

“Why won’t you look at me?”

He didn’t look too good.

“I am looking at you.”

“No, you’re not, you keep avoiding my eyes.” My pulse thundered in my ears.

His expression crumpled, but he still wouldn’t look at me. Grief lined every facet of his being, and I hated it so fucking much.

“Beckett,” I choked out and pressed my palm to the back of his head. “Please talk to me. Please.” I was all for giving people space to process things, but whatever he had on his mind was eating him up.

“Don’t beg,” he growled, and the aggressive sound vibrated through my chest. “You never have to beg me for anything.” He went quiet and closed his eyes while he breathed in slowly.

I kept my mouth shut and rubbed my fingertips into his shaggy hair.

“I feel dirty.” The sudden vulnerable statement served as a vice around my throat. “My skin crawls.”

I kept quiet and continued stroking his head.

Slowly, he leaned into me. “With the curse lifted . . . I can’t stop thinking about what I’ve done with other women.” His eyes squeezed tight. “I’m sorry to you . . . and to myself.”

The vice slithered down around my chest, taking my ability to speak with it.

“I’m sorry I wasn’t stronger, Maya.” He shuddered. “When you were sick—” His eyes cinched shut, and his head settled on my shoulder. “I should have been with you.” His words grated from his throat like it took great physical effort to get them out.

“Beckett.” I hugged him. He bowed down with his forehead pressed to my shoulder while I propped myself up on my knees so I could get my arms around his shoulders. “I wish I could take this pain from you.”

“No. I should live with this guilt, baby.”

We shouldn’t have been placed in this situation in the first place. But our circumstances had been inevitable; we’d been born into cruelty and sin.

I felt older than my age. Too much had occurred. The shittiest thing was that they would continue to occur if we didn’t kill the thing that spawned me. Having encountered the bastard, I could even understand why my mom hated me so much. Yeah, it sucked and wasn’t an excuse, but I understood.

None of us deserved this, least of all Beckett. He’d been orphaned so young. Losing his parents fucked with him as I’d witnessed in the first year he’d come to Lucian’s. I’d found him in a funk every death anniversary for the first few years.

His warm breath heated my neck while his cinnamon scent enveloped me like a hug. “Hold me tighter.”

My heart throbbed, and I leaned back to get a glance at his face. With his head angled down, it took him a moment to look into my eyes, but the contact was brief before it chased to the side.

I pressed my mouth to his and slipped my fingers through his hair, flexing my hands into his curls. He tasted like minty toothpaste.

A growl vibrated his diaphragm. He inched forward, crowding me until I was flattened on the floor. Heat from the fireplace beat across my side but it didn’t hold a candle to the fire in my stomach.

“The ground’s hard,” he mumbled, the soft brush of his lips caressing mine with each word. I hooked my arms around the back of his neck and forced his mouth down on mine.

He grunted, hesitating. One blink. On the next, he softened against me. I flicked my tongue across his, and he angled his head. Beckett devoured my mouth like a drowning man. His touch was edged with desperation as it caressed my flesh.

My eyes fluttered open, and I found his gaze wide and focused. Tenderness reflected within their depths, his touch mimicking it.

I’d missed that expression.

He cupped my face, and his thumbs rubbed my cheek before traveling down my neck, eliciting shivers from my belly. His hips nudged between my legs and his cock prodded my core. My breath hiccupped as my hips arched toward the stiffness. The seam of my cotton pajamas rubbed against my clit with just the right amount of friction while we moved against each other. I wet my lip.

I wanted him deep in my pussy and to watch the control leak from those blue eyes. Beckett had always taken my safety seriously—sometimes too seriously—so watching him get rough with me turned me the hell on.

I uncoiled my fingers from his shoulders and slipped them against his skin until I fondled his vee line. His hips slammed hard against mine. He liked that.

My pounding heartbeat matched the pulse at my clit. If I didn’t get these pants off, I would make a mess of them.

Retreating from his soft, warm skin, I hooked my fingers around my waistband and bent a knee to slip my leg free. The angle caused my pussy to press harder against him. Only his layer was left, and the rub of his sweats wrenched a cry from my throat.

Beckett shuddered and stopped grinding. His eyes moved side to side behind his eyelids. No, I didn’t want him to get control of himself. I wiggled lower on the ground and shoved his sweats down.

His cock sprang free—hard, aching and the tip damp.

As normal as a human dick, but it was much bigger than average, and soon the base would swell with his knot.

Swinging my legs around his hips, I arched my heat onto his tip. The press of his cock into my entrance yanked breath from my lungs. Beckett’s eyes widened, and he let a growl loose. He shook his head hard, but his hips had a mind of their own as he thrust into me.

Yes . I wanted all of him inside me, without the careful reservation he tried to display.

Fullness expanded my channel, and I whimpered, causing him to shove deeper into me. Beckett shuddered and fur sprang from his neck and traveled down his arms and part of his chest. He gritted his teeth. The base of his dick expanded, and I ground my hips in a circle to feel the knot fully.

He was my mate. My best friend. I’d been in love with him for so long, then I’d hated him, but we were always meant to be.

“Wait,” he said between gritted teeth.

I ignored him and twitched my hips again. He snarled and claws dug into my ass. With his rough hold, he slid me off his cock and pinned me.

I watched him grapple for control, his nostrils flaring with each loud breath. “Beckett,” I whispered. “Give me everything.”

He stilled with a feverish look that sent a shiver down my spine. He bared his teeth. Palm flattening at my stomach, he rutted his cock into me.

I gasped as the force slammed me into the ground. Deeper and deeper until my eyes crossed, and I couldn’t stop thrashing.

“My Maya.” He panted the words with each aggressive thrust, getting me hotter. Bowing his spine, he sank his teeth into my throat, flinging me into an orgasm.

I screamed, and the swell of his knot turned agonizing. He stiffened, buried deep in my needy sex, then he erupted. His cock spasmed. Once. Then again and again. Each jerk rubbed against my clit.

Oh fuck. Oh fuck!

A tremble spiraled up my legs. My stomach expanded, swirling with energy, and eating away the hollowness. I didn’t block the feeding and instead absorbed.

His blunt teeth released my throat, and the release forced another orgasm to the surface.

When I floated down, my sight turned blurry.

Cum dripped down my thighs, and I bit my lip.

Beckett’s knot remained swollen deep inside me. A flush crested his cheeks. He gazed down at me beneath heavy lids, so serious yet so sensual, the look awakening a kaleidoscope of butterflies within my chest.