21. 21 Tori

My feet are planted like roots on a tree, unable to pry my eyes away. Alicia is staring back at me with just as much shock across her face as mine. Never did I imagine running into her here. No matter how upset she may be with me, I would never wish this upon her.

Dark circles encompass her sunken eyes, a fear embedded deep within them, I worry it will never leave. She's broken. My mind wanders to the dark crevices of the world, imagining everything that has probably been done to her. The thought alone is enough to churn my stomach, bile rise to my throat.

I swallow, refusing to vomit in front of her. Tonight has been one mess after another, and just when I was starting to feel relief, Alicia is here. She's a prisoner, a forced worker.

Don't throw up. Don't throw up. Don't throw up.

“We need to go, Tori,” Thorne whispers in my ear, being the only one who seems to remember who Alicia is. “I know she's your friend, but we can't do anything right now. Ryder is still hurt, and we need to get out of here before anything else happens. I promise we'll come back and help her, if that's what you want to do.”

“You're going to have to carry me, because I can't willingly make my legs move,” I admit, knowing full well I could never leave her behind of my own accord. My body won't allow me to. This place is hell, and she's burning in it.

“You don't have to tell me twice.” He scoops me in his arms—one under my shoulders and the other under my knees—as he hurries us along. Blaze is helping Ryder, being his crutch since Ryder’s side hurts too much to walk faster.

Alicia and I never break eye contact until I'm placed in Thorne's overprotected car with the door closed. Ryder climbs in the back, and Blaze leaves us to get into his vehicle. Not a word is spoken. What the hell could be said?

My body is unbelievably tired, and not because it's four in the morning. Between the emotional turmoil of thinking Ryder would die, and the abhorrent guilt twisting in my stomach for leaving Alicia behind, I've never felt more drained in my life.

My eyes close without me even noticing, obviously falling asleep. When I open them again, I find I'm in Ryder's bed, tucked in beside his good side. He took a bullet for me. The reminder fills me with love again, a deep sense of gratitude, and a need to show my affection and appreciation for him.

It's probably a terrible idea, but I want to finish what we started before Nico called. The bright afternoon rays of the sun are blinding as I carefully sit up, trying not to wake him just yet. It might be the middle of the day, but considering none of us slept, it's still early. So, I'm sure Thorne and Blaze are still sleeping .

They probably let me sleep in Ryder’s bed because they feel bad. Ah, the bromance. I love it.

I slide under the sheets like a snake—silent, smooth. Without waking him, I manage to get my head near my desired location, pulling his boxers down a centimeter at a time. He almost died. The thought keeps flooding my brain over and over, fueling my need for him more and more.

After a while, I manage to get his dick out of his boxers without waking him, admiring his piercings again, not having seen them this close yet. I run my fingers along his shaft—tantalizing it, bringing his cock to life. My tongue glides along the length, from his balls to the pretty pink tip.

There's no hesitation as I take his cock into my mouth, hungry for him in more ways than one. The pleasured groan that leaves him tells me he's woken up, causing my lips to curve in a smile, arrogantly pleased with myself.

“Fuck, KitKat. A man could get used to this,” Ryder's voice drifts out, raspy and thick with sleep, sending a shiver down my spine. It’s that perfect mix of rough and lazy, the kind of sound that makes me want to stay wrapped up in him for hours.

His voice sends me into a frenzy as I bob my head up and down, feeling his piercings scrape against my teeth. I open my mouth wider, not wanting to hurt him, but my jaw won't last long like this. Trying to speed things along, I work his shaft with my hands as I suck on the tip, licking it like a giant watermelon lollipop. My favorite.

His groans push me further, playing with his balls when a mischievous thought creeps across. Slap it. An evil smirk grows over my lips as I gently tap his balls, feeling him jolt in surprise.

“Jesus Christ, woman! You can't do that.” He groans happily, his words of protest being just that… words .

I continue, licking, sucking, working, and, every now and then, slapping again. His hips are bucking against my face as he reaches that high, moaning deeply when his hand lands on the back of my head, pushing me further down so that his cock is deep in my throat.

“Can I come in your mouth?” he asks, holding me down; although, how I'm supposed to answer with a mouth full of cock is beyond me. So I stupidly slide my hand out from under the covers and give him a thumbs up, to which he lets out a light chuckle before swaying his hips and then holding still, shooting his load deep into my throat.

My heart swells at the fact that he asked before he did it, being one of few. What's up with that? I swallow his saltiness, wiping my mouth with the back or my wrist as I slide back out, laying my head back on the pillow.

“Come here.” He grabs me, pulling me close, kissing me so deep, I'm sure he can taste himself. I go weak against him, moaning into his mouth as his tongue explores every crevice. “You'll be the death of me.”

I hate that phrase now.

“Too soon?” he asks, noting my silence.

I nod, not ready to joke about how near to death he'd gotten because of me. “Too soon,” I confirm.

He kisses my forehead, holding my face between his palms for a moment. “I love you, Victoria. I will take every bullet in this world for you, because a life without you isn't worth living.”

My reaction isn't exactly appropriate as I slap his chest with my palm. “You will do no such thing!” I scold him, needing him to realize that I would much rather him be alive, than take another bullet for me.

“Okay, not the reaction I was going for. Aren't you supposed to be wooed by my words? I'm giving you some damn good pillow talk, woman.” Ryder flashes that grin, the one that used to send a chill down my spine, but now it makes my heart skip in the best way.

It’s wide, a little cocky, and completely him, and I can’t help but melt. God, I used to think that smile was dangerous, something to fear. Now, I crave it like I crave air. Seeing it again, after almost losing him, fills me with so much joy, I can barely breathe. It's his real smile—the one he doesn't hide anymore—and it feels like everything I never knew I needed.

“I'm wooed by actions more than words.” I wink at him as I throw the sheets off myself, ready to get off the bed, only to be locked in his arms as he wraps them around my waist.

“Great. Then here are my actions with words. Double whammy. Ready?” He kisses my bare shoulder before I even answer him.

Before I can react, Ryder’s lips move from my shoulder to the back of my neck—slow and deliberate, like he’s memorizing the feel of my skin with each kiss. His hands slide down from my waist, tracing lazy circles along my hips, holding me in place as if he’s afraid to let me go.

Every touch is gentle, but firm, the kind that makes my heart swell with something more than desire—something deeper, sweeter. His arms tighten around me, pulling me back, flush against his chest; for a moment, everything else falls away.

I close my eyes, leaning into him, feeling the steady beat of his heart against my back. It’s a quiet moment, full of all the things he’s too stubborn to say out loud. But I feel it in the way he holds me, in the way his fingers linger on my skin.

I turn my head slightly, catching his gaze, and there it is—that real smile again, the one that lights up his whole face, the one I’ve grown to need more than I ever thought possible.

“I’m not going anywhere,” he murmurs, his lips brushing the shell of my ear, his voice low and sincere .

I try to breathe, but it’s like the weight of everything we’ve been through is pressing down on me all at once. I’ve been holding it in all night, telling myself to stay strong for Ryder, for Thorne, for Blaze—but now that I’m here, wrapped in Ryder’s arms, safe and warm, the cracks are finally showing.

I blink rapidly, willing the tears back, but they spill over anyway, silent at first. My chest tightens as a sob builds up in my throat, and when Ryder’s arms tighten around me protectively, I lose it.

The floodgates open, and before I can stop myself, I’m full-on crying—the kind of crying that shakes your whole body. “I’m sorry,” I choke out, trying to pull away, but Ryder doesn’t let me. His grip stays firm, his lips pressing softly against my temple.

“Hey,” he murmurs, his voice thick with concern. “You don’t have to be sorry. Not with me.”

His words break me even more. I press my face into him, my tears soaking into his bare chest as the sobs come harder now, all the fear, the exhaustion, the weight of everything that's happened crashing over me.

“I thought I was going to lose you,” I choke out, my voice trembling as the words I’ve been holding in finally escape. “I really thought…” My breath hitches and I clutch at him like he’s the only thing keeping me from falling apart completely. “You were going to die.”

Ryder’s grip tightens around me, his hands cradling me like I’m something precious. “I’m right here,” he whispers, his voice low and sure, the sound of it grounding me. He presses a soft kiss to the top of my head, his hand running through my hair in slow, soothing strokes. “I’m not going anywhere.”

His words wrap around me like a lifeline, pulling me back from the edge. I cling to him tighter and let the tears fall. He lets me cry it out, not saying a word, just holding me through the storm. Eventually, the tears slow, leaving me feeling drained, but somehow lighter.

Ryder pulls back just enough to look at me, his thumb gently wiping away the last remnants of my tears. His eyes are soft—full of understanding. “You’re allowed to break sometimes,” he says quietly. “We’ll put you back together.”

Before I can respond, the door creaks open, and I hear Thorne’s familiar, steady footsteps followed by Blaze’s. Blaze leans against the doorframe, arms crossed, though his expression isn’t harsh—it’s more like he’s biting his tongue, holding back whatever jealousy or frustration he might be feeling. Thorne steps in beside him, his usual calm slipping just enough to show the concern etched in his brow; a subtle tension in the way he stands.

“You okay?” Thorne asks, his voice balanced, but there's an edge to it, like he’s not entirely convinced by my nod.

I force a small smile, even though my eyes are still red and puffy. “Yeah, I’m good.”

Blaze exhales, rubbing the back of his neck. “We’ve been talking… about Alicia.”

Right—Alicia. You know, the girl you left behind in a cesspool full of the scum of the Earth?

Ryder stiffens slightly, but keeps his hand on my waist, his thumb rubbing slow circles as if to remind me he’s still there. “What’s the plan?” he asks.

“That depends on Tori.” Thorne's eyes flicker toward me before he continues. “Do you want to get her out?”

What kind of question is that?

“Of course I do!” I blink, unable to hold back the flabbergasted expression on my face. Am I so bad that he really thinks I wouldn't want to save her?

“I figured as much, but I wanted to hear you say it.” He takes a step further in, approaching the bed, and eventually taking a seat on the corner of the mattress. “We're going to get her out, but we need to be smart about this.”

Right. Can't mess up like last time. I can't imagine what Nico would want in exchange for one of his precious workers, considering what a little bit of information cost us in the first place.

Blaze steps forward, his eyes flicking to Ryder, but softening when they land on me. “Are you up for planning right now? Or do the two of you need more alone time?”

The question carries a hint of jealousy, masked under his casual delivery, but it's clear he’s holding back more than just the words. Even he is being unlike himself, thanks to Ryder's tongue-deep kiss with death.

I take a deep breath, feeling the last bit of that weight lifting off me as I look at the three of them. They're not perfect, but they’re mine. And together, we can do this.

“I’m ready,” I say, voice steadier now. “Let’s go save her.”

***

It's been two weeks and all we've done is argue about what the right move to make is. It's taking too long. We should have already rescued her. So, today I demanded a meeting and a set plan by the end of the day.

The room feels tense, but it’s a different kind of tension—more about urgency than the usual friction between the four of us. Blaze leans back in his chair, arms crossed, jaw clenched tight. Ryder paces near the window, his brows furrowed, while Thorne sits there, annoyingly composed, leaning against the desk with his arms folded. And me? I’m on the bed, legs crossed, trying to keep the rush of adrenaline from spilling over.

“So, we break in, find Alicia, and get the hell out. Simple, right?” Ryder circles back to his previous suggestion, half-joking, but there’s a glint of intensity in his eyes. He’s not messing around; he’s ready to tear the place apart if needed.

Blaze scoffs. “You’ve been shot once already, Ryder. Let’s not tempt fate, alright?” He runs a hand through his hair, his eyes flashing with frustration. “We don’t even know why she’s there, or what we’re walking into. This isn’t just some street fight—it’s Nico’s territory.”

Thorne, silent until now, raises an eyebrow. “We have no clue why Nico has her. For all we know, she could’ve stumbled in looking for Bren. We can’t go in blind.” His voice is calm, but there’s a sharp edge to his words—like he’s already running through ten different ways this could all go wrong.

I lean forward, my frustration bubbling up. “So, what do we do? Sit here and hope she magically walks out of there?” The thought of Alicia stuck in that place makes my stomach churn.

Ryder stops pacing, arms crossed. “I say we go in, find her, and figure it out on the fly. We’ve done more with less.”

“Sure, if you’re looking to get shot at again.” A dark look flashes in Blaze's eyes. “We need a plan. Nico’s not going to hand her over just because we show up. And if she saw something she shouldn’t have…”

Thorne is already nodding, clearly in agreement. “We need to know more before we move. We don’t even know if Nico’s aware she’s connected to us. For now, we’ve got the advantage of surprise—let’s not waste it.”

“So, what? We just wait until we can find out why she’s there? We don’t exactly have time on our side,” I groan, rubbing my temples .

“No, we move. But we need to be smart about it. We don’t storm in, guns blazing. We need to get in, get her, and get out before Nico realizes what’s happening. Minimal damage.”

Another logical quip, Blaze. What a surprise.

“Minimal damage?” Ryder chuckles darkly. “That’s not really our style.”

“Yeah, well, this isn’t exactly a situation we want to escalate,” Blaze fires back. “If Alicia’s in there because she saw something she shouldn’t have, we need to get her out before Nico decides she’s too much of a liability.”

“Alright. So, we go in quietly, find her, figure out what she saw, and get out before Nico even knows we were there,” I shoot out.

Thorne smirks. “For once—a plan that doesn’t involve all of us bleeding.”

I roll my eyes but can’t help the small smile tugging at my lips. “Let’s try to keep it that way.”

Blaze stands, his expression more serious than ever. “We’ll need distractions—keep his men focused elsewhere while we get to Alicia.”

Ryder’s lips curve into a wicked grin. “I’m good at distractions.”

“Yeah, we noticed,” Thorne deadpans, earning a chuckle from me.

I shake my head, getting to my feet. “Alright, let’s do this. We get in, grab Alicia, and get out before Nico has a chance to even breathe down our necks.”

Blaze locks eyes with me, his voice steady, but full of weight. “ No room for mistakes. Once we go in—we’re committed.”

I nod, feeling the gravity of his words. “We’ve got this. Just need some good disguises”

No matter what Nico’s got up his sleeve, we’ll get Alicia out. And then? Then, we’ll deal with the fallout.