Chapter Fourteen - Angry Asiago

"THREE, TWO…" I give a little bounce, but the three cheeses remain that. Surely it's sunset by now.

Nervously, I scroll through my phone, doing my best to not see the fifty voicemails from my mother who's booked my return flight for the past three days. Let's see, the weather app says it'll be sunset in…one minute. I guess I could put on lipstick before—

"This place is looking good."

Confused, I turn to the masculine voice behind me. I made sure to put the cheddar, brie, and camembert on little cushions behind the counters so they wouldn't get dusty. Did I miss Roq hiding outside?

Instead of the massive, blue-haired grouch, a slick man in a suit stands just inside the shop. He gives a sharp whistle and drops the phone glued to his ear. "Veronica, right?" With a nod to me, he's off inspecting the shelves the guys fixed.

"Um, I'm Violette," I say, scrambling to keep up. It's the realtor. Josh somebody. I think it starts with a W. It'd be easier to remember his name if it was cheese-related.

What has my life become?

"Nice, nice. Good work on the floor. We should remove all of these, want to give the client the opportunity to envision their own retail space here." He strains to reach one of the old tin signs with a cartoon mouse stealing a wedge of cheese.

"What are you doing?" I mean for my statement to be confrontational, but I can only squeak out in confusion. He struggles to wedge his fingers under the old sign and gives up.

"Maybe paint the walls after they're down. I've got a few samples of popular beiges and grays. These walls are a bit too yellow for modern tastes."

I always liked the soft yellow. It felt like walking into a beam of sunshine as a kid, even if it's faded to more of a bathwater ochre after all this time. "What do you think about Saturday?" The realtor pauses just next to the counter where he picks up my uncle's old sign and moves to toss it.

I catch it and hold it tight to my chest. "For what?"

"The open house. I'm certain you'll have the last of the repairs done by then. Maybe hire a few people to give it one last spritz. I'll swing by an hour before, check things out, give the usual spiel."

Saturday? "But that's the day after tomorrow," I squeak.

"Exactly. Don't want to sit too long on this or the price will bottom out."

Oh…poop. I forgot to tell the realtor. He doesn't even pause to look back at me for confirmation. Josh moves on to inspect the bathroom which started surprisingly clean and was made even better.

"There's been a little change in plans," I say.

He flicks on the light and looks around. "Does that work?" he asks, pointing to the toilet.

"I…I think so."

"Great." He flips off the switch and returns to pacing around the frankly small floor.

"It's just that, well, I found a lot of cheese in a cellar."

"That'll happen with old cellars." He's hunched over his phone paying me no attention whatsoever.

"And the thing is, I can't sell for three months."

"Oh, I'm sure we'll be out of escrow before…" Josh jerks his head up and snaps to me like a very angry crow. "What did you say?"

"There's just that, while I was—you know—cleaning, I found a lot of my uncle's old cheese."

"So you need a second dumpster."

"No! It's good. Great. Fantastic. Cheddar that's been aged for twenty years. I was thinking that, I mean, it seems like it'd be a waste if I don't…"

Josh bears down on me and my chest collapses like a slinky in a trash compactor. "What are you saying right now? You can't be telling me you don't intend to sell."

"I do, just, um…" I bite my lip and nervously scratch my arm. "Not right away?"

"You're seriously willing to leave five million on the table for some moldy cheese?"

They're not moldy, just finely aged. Though one can be quite sour.

I press my tongue between my teeth so hard it aches. The longer Josh gives me that ‘you can't be this stupid' look, the more my resolve wavers. "I'll draw up the paperwork and we'll plan for an open house on Sunday. Agreed?"

"Uh…"

"Agreed?" he insists and thrusts out his hand. I close my eyes. My gut's telling me to go along with it so he doesn't hate me.

"Good morning!" Cheddy's exuberant voice cuts through the shop. "What's for dinner?"

"Quick, Brie, stop him before he eats all of our meals." Cam rises to his feet and I catch his eye just behind one of the pillars. He winks and raises his arms toward me. When I shake my head, he furrows his brow, then peers out.

"It seems we are not alone tonight," Cam says.

"What?" Brie cries out, halfway into his falafel sandwich. One by one, all three of them spot Josh in his slick suit and tie turning to face them. "Eep!" Brie dives behind the counter to cover himself.

Cam plays a coy peekaboo with the pillar to hide himself. Cheddy holds a bag of tacos just before his crotch.

"Who are you?" Josh asks slowly.

"Hello!" Cheddy shouts and he drops the bag, revealing all of him to the suddenly stunned realtor.

"Why are you naked?" Josh cries out. He slams his hands to the side of his eyes and turns away.

"Why aren't you?" Cam taunts. "It's a freeing state of being." He languidly stretches his arms above his head, then widens his stance and reaches for one leg all while staring at Josh. "No clothes to hinder your movements, or come between you and the sweet kiss of…nature."

"What in the hell is wrong with you?" Josh thunders, his face tomato red.

"That is a long discussion I fear we don't have the hours for."

"Where the hell did you come from?"

"Oh, that's simple. We were on the floor." Cam crosses his arms over his chest. While it hides his nipples, it leaves his, um, cheese log and babybels freely swinging.

Josh is reaching nuclear meltdown fast. "Why the shit were you down there?"

Cheddy leaps onto Cam and exclaims, "Because we're cheese—"

"They're contractors!" I shout over him. "They're helping me fix this place up. And that's why they were on the floor. Checking floorboards. In the back. You didn't see them come in. Because they were hunched over. On the floor." It all makes total sense.

"Contractors?" Josh asks me point blank. "Then why are they naked?"

"So they don't get their clothes all sweaty?" I throw my hands up into the air and wince.

I can see the internal math playing out in Josh's head. On one hand, three naked men came out of nowhere. On the other, a cut of five million dollars. He shakes his head and chooses the latter. "Well, at least they're doing a good job, even if it seems dangerous to operate power tools while nude."

"You don't want to accidentally crack your nuts with a hammer," Cheddy adds to the conversation.

Josh doesn't acknowledge that thought at all. "Do you believe you'll have this place ready to go in two days?"

"I mean, probably?" Cheddy says glancing at a shrugging Cam.

It's Brie who takes over. He steps closer to us, though he's mercifully dressed. "Why? What's the rush?"

I try to wave my hand to get Josh to stop, but he loudly proclaims, "For the open house on Sunday."

"No."

Every person in the room freezes at that single, commanding syllable. A tuft of blue hair towers above the shelves and Roq storms into the room. "There will be no open house. Not this Sunday, nor any Sunday after."

Josh gives a quick laugh. "I'm sorry. Do you think you own this…?" As Roq comes to a stop in front of him, his head keeps tilting higher and higher. "Place?"

Roq doesn't answer aside from crossing his arms and flexing his biceps. Despite Cheddy's muscles being larger, it's Roq who looks like he would use his without a second thought.

Gulping hard, Josh darts his phone back and forth. "I have an email agreement with the sole owner of this property that we will be putting it up for sale in—"

"No." Roq shakes his head. "You will not. And now you need to leave."

"Listen, buddy." Josh tries to shove a finger into Roq's chest, but it barely presses in. "You…you don't speak for Miss Reely." He glances back at me, and I'm fighting to not dig myself under the floor.

"Neither do you. Will I have to throw you out or do you walk?"

"This is…" Josh puffs out his chest, but he can't do anything against the building of a man before him. Holding his phone out like it's a taser, he starts to backtrack toward the door. "I will email you later Veronica with the details for the open house."

"Leave!" Roq thunders.

With a quick jump, Josh paddles his feet in the air then takes off through the door and down the street. Roq trails after, slamming the door shut. "Keys," he orders. I fumble to pull them out, and they hit the floor.

Cam scoops them up and tosses them to Roq who locks the door with a hard thud. I try to not think it's the sound of a body hitting the floor.

No one says a word. Only Roq's labored panting cuts through the air.

Getting more nervous, I scratch my arm and the gremlin grabs the mike. The door needs to be locked four more times or else this whole place will burn. "Can I have those back?" I point to the key ring dangling off of his finger.

Roq clamps his hand around the whole thing. "You lied to us."

Every man takes a step away from me. "No, I didn't."

"Then what was that salesman doing planning an open house?" He whirls around with a snarl. Fire crackles in his eyes.

My knees buckle, but I manage to hitch onto a counter before I tumble. "Because we were going to do an open house."

Roq sneers.

"Before," I shout, "I even came here, much less knew there were four cheese men in the basement!"

"You didn't tell him the plans changed?"

"I, um, forgot?" I plead, but that's the wrong answer.

"Forgot? You expect me to believe you forgot?" Roq stomps closer, rage radiating from every pore. "That you have no intentions to use us to fix this store up…"

My legs start to melt, dragging me lower as he jabs a finger at me, his whole face turning bright red. "…then sell this place after we're locked up in the—"

"Stop it!" Cam leaps in front of Roq. "You're scaring the poor thing."

"That ‘poor thing' was going to sell us out. You can't honestly believe her excuse."

"She forgot to inform the realtor," Cheddy says. "It happens. I forget things all the time. Wait, where are my pants?" He peels out to hunt for them.

Roq whips his head around to Brie. "You don't believe that?"

Brie bows his head and doesn't make eye contact with Roq.

"You're being a righteous ass." Cam waggles his finger at Roq, then locks a hand around my waist. "Just take a breath."

Roq snarls and slams his shoulder into Cam's chest. A wince doesn't cross Cam's face, but his body buckles from the force.

"The others might be fooled, but even you can't be that dimwitted, Bear." With that cut, Roq stalks back to the basement. He gives me one last glare before leaping down the ladder back into his domain.

I'm shaking so badly I nearly vibrate out of Cam's hands. "I swear, I didn't. I forgot about the realtor and—"

"Shh." He takes both of my hands. "It's all right. I believe you."

"Me as well," Brie pipes up. Both of the men turn to Cheddy who's downed half of a burrito, still sans pants.

"What are we talking about?" he asks.

"Chedward has faith in you, too," Cam says.

"Course I do. Look at the size of this. It's bigger than my fist!" Cheddy crumples his hand into a fist then holds it against the remaining burrito.

"A resounding endorsement. No one who brings us burritos can be evil. What else is there? I'm starving." Cam joins Cheddy, or tries to stop him from gorging on everything.

I can't stop chewing on my thumbnail while staring down the ladder. Any second now, Roq's going to climb back up and shout at me. Tell me that I'm a cruel liar. Maybe even throw me out. Seize this place for himself and…

"Vi? Are you okay?" The soft question from Brie yanks me out of my spiral. Staring into his worried face, I wonder how many times he called for me.

"Um, yes." I try to smile to assure him, but it turns into a manic clown grin and my leg bounces until I nearly vibrate out of my flats.

"I was wondering where this bag goes?" He zeroes in on the one I'd been most excited to give them five minutes before. Now I can barely lift my head. Stupid. I should have told the realtor. It was my job and I just messed it up like always.

Pinching my arm, I get out, "It's for you, actually."

Brie carefully undoes the knot in the handles and peers in. His face becomes a rainbow of joy as he yanks out a couple of canvas squares and a collection of paints. "This is mine?" he asks.

"And it's not even his birthday," Cam says. "Or is it?"

"Oh, my goodness. This is…" Brie runs over, the canvas, brushes, and paints locked in his arms. Even as he juggles to hold everything, he stops before me. "Thank you." Brie kisses me on the cheek then he zips back to the counter to break into the paints.

"That's hardly how one shows gratitude." Cam laughs and spins me in place. "Allow me." He kisses me hard, pressing a hand to the small of my back so I naturally bend backward. As he chases with his lips and tongue, I keep tipping lower until I risk a peek to catch the basement.

Oh shit. Is he climbing the ladder?

I jerk out of his hands, stumbling across the floor. Nervously scratching my arm, I try to smile at Cam. "Thank you, that was very nice."

"I see." Cam's easy, breezy mode turns dark and inscrutable. I do my best to not stare at the ladder while I keep picking at the damn worry spot just above an old mole.

"Chedward, what do you say to us taking a little excursion for the night?"

"Sounds fun. Where are we going?"

"Wherever the wind takes us. And, of course, we could certainly use your expertise in guiding us, my lady." Cam extends his palm to me and bows. I glance my fingers across his hand all my certainty vanished. His hand clings to mine and he pulls me closer, even if I can't stop looking back at the ladder.

If I show him my phone, he'll understand…

"The evening air will be chilled, so I recommend you dress for it."

"Yeah, yeah. I know." Cheddy rams both feet into his pants and pulls the long zipper. "Save the sausage for the pudding."

Cam moans. "Dear lord. Brie, will you be joining us?"

He jerks up from the five canvases he's laid out. A brush with a dab of black paint rests between his fingers. "Ah, no thank you, but do have fun."

"We most certainly shall." Cam waves his hand like he's tipping his hat, then he cups over my arm and pulls me toward the door.

"What about…?" I point to the basement and Cam frowns.

"Even if he hadn't wedged his head up his backside, that man is deathly allergic to fun. We are better off leaving him to stew for the night. Trust me."

I nod, not realizing how close I am to Cam's face until I nearly bonk his nose. He brushes my cheek, teasing my fallen hair. "Have I ever told you—?"

"Let's go!" Cheddy grabs Cam's hand and wrenches him around to face the door.

With both of us hanging on to Cam, he sighs. "To adventure." He pushes on the glass. It doesn't budge.

"Oh, sorry. Let me just…" I juggle my keys out, dropping them twice, before I can unlock the door.

It has to be my imagination that I hear a loud groan from the basement as I do.