18. Amaya

18

AMAYA

“ I ’m not so sure this is a good idea," Paul murmurs downstairs, halting me in my tracks before I amble my sorry ass down there.

Until I have a conversation with him about his intentions, he is going to remain Paul . One afternoon that has broken me does not absolve him of all the lies and uncertainty.

The voice that responds to him shocks the shit out of me. My breath catches in my throat, betrayal and tears clogging my most basic functions. Why didn’t she tell me she was coming? Is she only here for Paul?

"I'm not sure any of this was a good idea, Paul, " Kate growls his name with disdain. "This is happening."

"But why is he here?" Beneath his obvious anger, Paul sounds lost and worried.

Creeping closer to the swanky stairs, I peek over the railing. There I see three people, two of whom I know, obviously, and the other I am pretty sure is Kate's crazy mate.

What was his name again?

" He is my mate. Beckett is a check-in support member as well. You knew going in that I would be bringing others to help get Amaya used to being around people." I've never seen Kate so ferocious before. Watching her stand up to such a big, clearly angry alpha makes my shoulders straighten too.

I might not ever have a mate to stand up for, but I can channel some of this confidence for myself. Especially because I have no idea what's going on downstairs.

"Do we have a problem, Mr. Arison?" Beckett drawls with a hand on Kate's hip. Envy sours the little food I ate this morning at seeing his hand flex on her exposed skin.

I'll never have that .

"Yes, we have a problem," Paul all but snarls, though he doesn't advance like I've seen happen far too many times. He might keep his posture in check, but his voice is threatening enough that my skin prickles with awareness. "The last time, and only time Amaya was around another alpha, she cried the entire fucking time!"

"What—"

"What are you doing here?" I announce myself, cutting Kate off before the gossip can continue.

Honestly, I thought Paul might have put the pieces together on our meeting from my own personal hell, but I guess not. He just thinks I'm weak and afraid. I don't know what's worse, but I don't need my shit aired out for everyone to know.

Kate's demeanor immediately shifts, her body turning toward me and relaxing. The scowl previously twisting her pretty features brightens into a smile that relaxes me a little. "Amaya!"

"Hi?" I say.

She leaves Paul in her wake, following me to the kitchen. "I'm here to take you out for coffee before you head over to the new house."

Beckett coughs loudly.

" We are taking you out for coffee," Kate corrects, giving me a wink as I come out of the fridge with a water.

I open my mouth to respond, but apparently Paul has his own opinions. "Amaya, you don't have to go. Kate, don't make her do something she doesn't want to do."

Again, I go to say something, but Kate huffs and grits out, "I'm not forcing her to do anything. She's stressed and worried. I'm inviting her out for a girl’s day."

"With an alpha," he all but snarls at her. Fuck, this is highly inappropriate.

Beckett growls, taking a step toward Paul. My hand pauses on the half cracked open bottle of water.

What the hell? It's like they're fighting over me.

Watching a fellow omega who is my age and my dad argue is fucking weird. The oddity of this moment keeps my anxiety at bay, but there's no telling when they might trigger me. Before this can escalate any further and send me into a panic attack, I intervene.

"As great as this is," I wave my hand at the three of them, "maybe you shouldn't argue in front of a traumatized omega. And also, maybe, just maybe, she can speak for herself."

Paul and Kate look sheepish and I'm sure they're about to apologize when Beckett barks a laugh. "I like her," he says to Kate, a grin on his face. To me he says, "I'm Beckett. I've heard a lot about you, Amaya."

"Ditto," I reply, smiling at the alpha who makes my friend laugh while she tells stories about him. "It's great to finally meet you."

Beckett all but preens. Unfortunately, Paul huffs, breaking our nice introduction. "Amaya, are you sure about this?"

"I don't know, nobody has let me think about it," I sass, annoyed, but the ballsiness of my response makes me tremble a little. He won't hurt me , I assure myself. And even if he does, I don't think Kate or Beckett would let him get far.

Paul might be huge, but his muscles are lean. Beckett, on the other hand, might not be as tall, but he's a bit more buff and I would bet he's faster than the older alpha.

All he does is narrow his eyes after hiding his surprise at my tone. "I'll be in my office before I head over to the house in a few hours. Just text me if you're riding with me or leaving with them."

With that, he stomps away, leaving me baffled by his behavior. Kate is not a threat, and he barely looked at Beckett. Could he really have been that worked up over my feelings?

Paul's retreating form up the stairs disappears, so I return my attention to the couple in front of me in time to see Kate roll her eyes. I narrow mine in response while taking a big gulp of water. It's been a long few days of crying, packing up my closet, and not sleeping.

"So." Kate claps. "Coffee?"

Kate and Beckett love to talk. It makes me wonder about her other alphas. Are they all this chatty? I highly doubt it, not many people could keep up with these two, I bet. Especially not an omega fighting just to make it through each day.

I thought I was struggling for the past five years, and I absolutely was, but it's different now. Before I had hope that maybe once I came home and got better, I would reach out to my guys. My mates.

Now, I'm struggling with all the same stuff, but with all my hopes and dreams torn from me. The salt to the wound is the fact that it was one of my dreams that ripped them from me.

Samuel.

"Amaya?"

I've loved them since they were boys and now, I'm lost without them to hold on to. They’ll never actually hold me and chase my demons away.

"AMY!"

Iced coffee halfway down my throat comes back up in a startled choke. With my hand pressed to my chest and heat rising to my cheeks, I gasp out, "Oh my god, what ?"

My throat cleared, and my attention finally focused on my coffee dates, I find Kate leaning over the table as Beckett glares over my shoulder. Before I can ask him what he's looking at or see for myself, Kate demands answers.

"What's going on, Amaya?"

I swallow and pick at the lid on my drink. "What do you mean?"

Bubblegum and raspberries explode from the omega across from me, making my nose scrunch. "Don't bullshit me. Not anymore. We are past me just being a support for you. I'm your goddamn friend, and I need to know what's wrong."

Beckett shifts, responding to his omega's call of distress. It's sweet . I wish I had someone who cared about me like that. That thought is twisted on its side and thrown out the window when Kate touches my hand affectionately.

"Amaya… please. Let me in."

I can't help it. My eyes water and my hand flips around to hold on to her for dear life. I forget all about the alpha sitting at the table with us and recall the worst night of my life and all the wonderful things before. Then I allow the image of my mate rejecting me just a few days ago to swallow me whole.

I hang my head and close my eyes, sinking into my tattered soul.