34. Sam

Afew hours after I made the bold choice to crawl into Greg's bed, his phone shattered the night's silence. Groggy and half-asleep, I reach for the nightstand, grab the annoying thing and practically throw it at him.

"Hello?" he says, half asleep, into the receiver. "Okay, I'll let her know." His words barely register as I take the phone back.

"What'd they say?" I mumble, not bothering to open my eyes. The act is so normal because we've spent so much time together. I basically lived at his apartment for three months.

"Flight leaves at 11 a.m.," he says, the weight of his words slowly sinking in.

As he rolled over to cuddle against me, a sudden rush of awareness sparks my heart rate into a frenzy. His touch, meant to comfort, instead triggers a wave of panic, my breaths quickening in response. Greg's arms tighten around me, his voice a soft whisper in the dark. "Relax, everything is going exactly to plan."

Feeling overwhelmed, I lift his arm and move away, my feet finding the rough carpet on the floor. His voice follows, laced with concern. "Where are you going?"

"I shouldn't have done this, I'm sorry," I whisper back, the confusion and regret bubbling up. Greg reaches out. "Sam, wait. Talk to me, please." The sincerity in his voice stops me in my tracks. I look back. His eyes lock onto mine.

Taking a moment to gather my thoughts, I calm my breathing. But seeing the sincerity in his gaze, I know something for certain: he missed me. He needs me. It's written all over his beautiful face. But I'm shaking my head. "I don't deserve this. You're so…" My voice trails off, unable to articulate what's going on in my mind.

Greg moves closer, his warmth enveloping me from behind, his chin resting on my shoulder. "Everyone deserves happiness and love. That's all I want to give you, Sam," he says. His lips graze on my skin, pressing a soft kiss to my back. "Stop punishing yourself, Samantha. I'm here, and I'm not leaving."

Is that what I've been doing? Punishing myself? And what was that shit about everyone deserving love? Have I…do I think I don't deserve it?

God, I'm a fucking mess. My face goes into my hands.

Greg hops out of the bed and is in front of me in an instant. "Sammy, come on. You're breaking my heart here."

I slap my hands down on my thighs. "I'm breaking your heart? Greg, you do understand what I'm doing right? Murder, Greg. I…someone is dead because of me!" It's hard to keep my voice low but the last thing I need is Tilly hearing this too.

His brow furrows for a moment and I finally think I've gotten through to him. He must realize what an irreparable mess I am. But he shakes his head.

"Samantha, that's not true. And even if it was, you still deserve love. Its not earned, especially not based on how you acted in the past."

I'm shaking my head, tears threatening to spill. "No, I don't—" His fingers touch my chin and he forces me to look at him. "I love you, Samantha. Not because you're perfect, but because you're you." He takes my hands in his and chuckles. "I mean, you saved me from a bee!" I smile at the memory. He was so ridiculous with that damn bee. "And fixing the pinball machine? I'm still in awe of how you did that." Okay he's got me with that one, that was pretty awesome. But he doesn't stop there. "And how you take care of Burly Bill without judgement."

I release his hands to raise a finger. "Hey, that's everyone at the bar." Watering down Burly Bill's drinks isn't exactly the work of a hero.

"Okay, but what about how you eat a taco with extra hot sauce. I mean, how has your tongue not melted by now?" This time, I laugh with him. He's such a baby with spicy food. "And that laugh? I'm addicted to it. I want to spend the rest of my life hearing you giggle."

I look away but he moves his face into my line of sight again. "What I'm trying to say is it isn't one thing. It's everything I've gotten to know about you. Even what you're doing now, giving up your freedom to help your nephew."

But I don't see that as a sacrifice either. I have to do it. I wouldn't have it any other way.

"I'm not saying these things make you worth it, but fuck Sam, you're amazing and I'll never quit trying to show you why. Ever."

Our eyes met, and a silent understanding passes between us in that moment. I believe him. And God, it feels so fucking safe. Despite what I've done, this man still wants me.

We stare at each other; the darkness of the room seems to grow except for around him, like a spotlight. Like, he's all I can see. He's all I've ever been able to see. The moment his gaze drifts to my lips, my heart flutters like a hummingbird.

"Sam," he says it so softly, it's more like I'm reading his lips than actually hearing the words. He leans in and brushes his lips on mine as if he's testing the water. Before he's able to pull away, I wrap my arms around his neck and press us together more firmly. His tongue pushes into my mouth and I'm euphoric as I tangle mine with his.

The kiss goes beyond being a mere apology for us. It's like a soothing balm for the scars we carry from our time apart and a pledge for the future of bullshit we're about to face. The recollections of our past meetings, intimacy, and bond all come rushing back, engulfing me with a longing I thought I had left behind in Costa Rica.

As his arms encircled me, the world outside of his arms ceases to exist, leaving only the raw, undeniable truth of what we mean to each other.

I don't hesitate, tangling my legs around his waist even as he lifts me onto his lap, our lips locked in a fervent embrace. Straddling him, I press my chest forward, my hard nipples poking him through my shirt. I know he was staring at them earlier. That he wanted me then and he wants me now.

The moment, however, is abruptly shattered by Tilly's pointed voice from the neighboring bed. "You know, that was beautiful and everything but I'm not going to listen to the two of you get frisky. Either get back in my bed or go to sleep." We've both frozen, but Greg is silently laughing. I look at him and smile. "Wait, you want Greg in your bed or me?"

Her silence was all the answer we need, and amidst our shared laughter, Greg kisses me one last time before settling back, facing away from Tilly.

He moves to lie behind me, the contours of our bodies aligning perfectly. Unfortunately, Greg Junior, as Greg likes to call his penis, has woken up. Ironically, my whole body stiffens. It's a feeling I remember, laying like this, and a rush of heat pools into my belly. I cast a sultry look over my shoulder. His eyes meet mine, and his cock twitches against my ass.

Oh, how I want it. I want him breathless and sweating over me, his thick beautiful cock in between my legs. His low, husky voice whispering dirty things in my ear.

A well-timed throat clearing stops me from gyrating my hips into his crotch. In a swift move, I grab an extra pillow and wedged it between us, a clear boundary to keep Tilly comfortable.

Fuck it. I don't need sex or kisses. Having his warm body behind me is good enough. I lightly press against the makeshift barrier, and he softly kisses my neck. While my mind is out of the gutter, his fingers begin to wander, tracing lines along the inside of my thigh. But I capture his hand and place it firmly at my waist.

The message is clear. No sex. For a moment, I'm almost disappointed when he doesn't try harder. After a few tense seconds, his touch is migrating north, skimming the edge of my breasts in a way that is questioning.

"Night, Greg," I say firmly. He chuckles but rests his curious hand on my shoulder, and with a gentle squeeze, my body relaxes.

"Night, Sam," he whispers back.