3. Lorraine

Chapter Three

Lorraine

W hen Ash stormed out, I was so close to calling after him and asking him to stay. I could have made us each a cup of coffee with the new machine or something. My pride got in the way, though—I hadn’t wanted to forgive him just like that, just because he’d done something nice for me. Although, I had to admit, this kind of nice was on a whole new level. I walked through the cabin again, taking in everything Ash had done. I still didn’t know how he’d done it—I didn’t understand the magic in this realm at all—but the place was incredible. It looked like something that might have escaped from an interior design magazine, and the cabin had everything that I could have dreamed of. A coffee machine, clothes I could wear—including a bra—and a shower. God, I’d missed being able to bathe and shower. The stream outside the cabin had been more than enough, and weirdly, I didn’t get dirty in this realm the way I did at home, where taking care of personal hygiene was a daily necessity. Still, I missed being able to stand under running hot water, and when Ash left, that was what I decided to do. I walked to the bathroom, shut the door, and stripped off the ratty hunting dress I wore. One of the dresses had gotten caught in the crossfire of Ash’s passion, and this was the only other one. Aside from a few tunics and my oversized T-shirt, I hadn’t worn anything else in weeks. I turned on the hot water and waited until the entire bathroom had steamed up before I climbed under the spray. The groan that escaped my mouth was completely involuntary, and I nearly melted with pleasure when the hot water cascaded over my body. Ash might not have known anything about modern living, but he’d known what he was doing when he decorated this place. The showerhead was a waterfall head, the water streaming over me, covering me like I stood in the rain, and it was a slice of pure heaven. I had no idea how long I stood under the water with my eyes closed, letting the water slide over my body.

It ran through my hair, and I finally reached for the soaps and lotions that stood on a shelf nearby—how had he known about all these things? I worked the shampoo into my hair until it was a thick lather and rinsed it before I added conditioner, repeating the process. I washed my body with lotions that smelled divine. I’d told myself I would stay under the spray until the water ran cold, but it never did. When I finally decided to get out, it was as hot as when I’d started. Maybe this was another part of the magic. I found a fluffy towel and wrapped myself in it before I padded to the bedroom with wet hair. The closet was filled to the brim with clothes I wanted to try on, but I opted for yoga pants and a tank top. It felt so good wearing panties and a bra again. I’d never really cared about bras—they were a part of everyday life—until I hadn’t had one to wear for the longest time. Now, wearing one again felt so good. I brushed out my wet hair before I walked outside and sat in the sun. I closed my eyes and tilted up my head, drinking in the sun while it dried my hair. I hadn’t noticed if Ash had put a hairdryer in the cabin. He probably had—he seemed to have thought of everything. I liked sitting in the sun, though. I felt calm and at peace, clean and like my usual self, something I hadn’t felt since the night I’d been snatched away from home. Everything had been such a shock when I’d first arrived here: the isolated medieval cabin without any amenities. It had taken a while for me to work through the shock of what had happened, to wrap my mind around what Oscar had done, and even longer to understand that I was caught in a world of magic. It had felt like a long time, but it hadn’t been very long at all. Still, having these luxuries I’d always taken for granted finally made me feel like, in some way, I’d been able to return home. Was that what Ash had tried to do for me? Had he done this to make up for the fact that I was stuck here? It was possible—he did look like he felt guilty about what he’d done, and he really went out of his way to show me he cared. I was still just so angry. What would Cat have said about all of this? She’d always been very serious about me accepting Oscar’s flaws when they wouldn’t change. Then again, a gambling addiction and lying about it wasn’t the same as a character flaw, exactly. Or maybe it was. After all, Oscar had had no qualms about selling a person—his own girlfriend, no less—to pay off his gambling debts. Either way, I’d been terribly wronged by two men I thought I could trust. I hoped my sister was alright. Ash had taken me to see her—she hadn’t been able to see me, but at least I’d been able to tell she was okay. Until then, I’d been terrified that Oscar had done something to her, too. I had no idea where he was now, but Cat had always been strong, and if anyone could fend for herself, it was her. I missed her. At least I would see her soon. Just another two weeks before Halloween, even though it would feel like a lifetime, and then I would go back home as if nothing had ever happened. My heart constricted at the idea. I would be glad to go home, but this place had become a place of refuge, and I’d become attached to Ash. Even if I believed he was a lying, deceiving son of a bitch. It turned out I had a type. If I really thought about it, Ash hadn’t done anything as awful as what Oscar had done to me. And he’d given me so much when Oscar had only ever taken from me, either subtly or outright.

Maybe it was unfair of me to compare the two. My anger toward Oscar was still vicious, and if I ever saw him again…

My anger toward Ash was quickly waning. I just didn’t know how I should feel about him. I cared for Ash. A lot. Our attachment was still strong despite what he’d done, and I cared about him in ways I probably shouldn’t have. He was a great guy in a lot of ways, and something about him drew me in ways I couldn’t explain. And then there was the whole “it’s only temporary” thing. It was weird to build a relationship, a connection, with someone when I knew it would all come to an end soon. Ash was the epitome of a summer fling, except nothing about him and the life I’d led with him the past couple of weeks felt like a fling. In some ways, it was like none of it was real, and I was stuck in a dream I would forget as soon as I woke up. In other ways, it felt like what we had was something that would last forever, which was a concept that could be easily understood in a world where time seemed to stand still…

The more I thought about everything, the more my mind spun until a dull ache throbbed between my temples. I opened my eyes, pulled back to this reality, and I sighed and ran my fingers through my hair. It had dried almost completely, and I got up and walked back into the cabin. I didn’t know what the future held; I struggled to untangle the past, and everything right now was one big question mark. It was how my life had been since I’d come to the vale, and I doubted I would have any clarity until I left. Maybe the easiest thing was to live in the moment. And in this moment, I wanted to make a cup of coffee—not the makeshift stuff I’d been living on until now, but the real deal.