27. Lorraine

Chapter Twenty-Seven

Lorraine

I felt him coming before I heard him.

Ash’s presence tugged at me, and I felt him approaching, his magic growing thicker and thicker in the cabin all around me. By the time he crashed through the cabin door, slamming it open into the living room, his presence was so thick in the air it was hard to breathe anything else. “What’s wrong?” I asked. Ash’s blue eyes were bright, and the expression on his face was unlike anything I’d ever seen before. His lips were parted and his chest rose and fell as he panted, as if he’d run for a long time. His cheeks had bright pink spots on them, but it was the sensation of urgency that came with him that really drew my attention. I stood from the couch where I’d been sitting and walked to Ash. I reached up for him, but I hesitated, unsure about touching him. He was like a live wire, charged with some kind of magical energy. He was larger than life, his presence so dominating that it was all that existed, but the look in his eyes gave me a sense of fragility that was out of place. A part of me was scared that if I touched him, he would disappear as if he’d never existed. “What’s wrong?” I asked again. Ash closed the distance between us. He cupped my cheek, his large hand hot on my skin. He stroked my cheekbone with his thumb, and his eyes roamed my face as if he was trying to find an answer in my own eyes, as if he was trying to commit every part of me to memory. “Ash, talk to me,” I said. He opened his mouth as if he was going to say something, but no words came out. His eyes bored into mine, and I felt like he could see my very soul. Our bodies pressed against each other, and he kissed me. The kiss was urgent right away. With his body against mine, his hand on my cheek, on my neck, in my hair, and his tongue in my mouth, he tried to tell me what his words couldn’t manage to. I didn’t know what he was saying. All I knew was that the magic grew stronger and stronger as he kissed me, and I ached for him in a way that I wasn’t able to put to words either. Ash asked me a question with his body, and my body was ready to answer. I was wet in no time, with a longing for him deep at my core. “Ash,” I breathed his name. He wrapped a thick arm around me, and I gasped when he lifted me. He carried me onto the fur rug that lay before the fire, kicking the coffee table aside as if it was nothing. When he laid me down on the rug, I moaned as he pinned me down with his body. His cock grew thick in his pants, and he gyrated against me, bucking his hips. He was hard for me, eager. He wanted me, and I wanted him, too. I wanted him as close as he could possibly get, buried inside of me so that I didn’t know where I ended and he started. I didn’t know what was going on. All I knew was that the magic that grew and the way our bodies fit together right now was right. That was all that mattered. I had to be with Ash, and he clearly felt the same. I was his, and he was mine, and nothing else in the world mattered but the fact that we were together. His hands roamed my body, and I moaned when he cupped my breast with one large hand. He squeezed and kneaded and massaged, working me up into a frenzy. He kissed me like he wanted to devour me, and I whimpered at the back of my throat as he worked me up more and more. Ash didn’t rip my clothes off the way I’d expected him to in his urgency. He’d done it before, but this time, he carefully peeled my shirt up. His hands were rough on my skin, and goosebumps stretched over my body as he leaned to the side and traced my curves.

He broke the kiss so we could get rid of my shirt, and I reached behind my back and unclasped my bra so that I was topless. I pulled his shirt over his head so that he was topless, too. I loved the feel of his skin against mine without any barrier between us. I wanted to be as close as possible with nothing in between. Ash looked down at my body with reverence, as if he’d never seen me naked before. My nipples tightened in the cold air of the room. I pushed up on my elbow and wrapped my arm around his waist. I couldn’t reach all the way around him—Ash’s muscular body was as broad as he was tall, and he was a sight to behold. I planted kisses on his torso, working my way up. I nibbled and licked and kissed his skin, and Ash let out groans and growls that were deliciously primal. His muscles trembled under his skin, a sign that I was working him up as much as he’d driven me wild. He was exercising great self-control not to just pin me down and fuck me. I wanted him to do that, but I wanted to worship his body as much as he always worshipped mine. When I pushed my hands against his chest to get him to roll over, Ash obliged. He rolled onto his back, and his eyes locked on mine. They were filled with an animalistic hunger I’d seen so many times before, but there was something else in those eyes, too. Emotion. Affection. Adoration. The emotions were so intense, burning right into my soul, and I shivered under the weight of it. I felt the same about him—Ash wasn’t just the man I lusted after anymore, the savior who had also come to me again and again to have sex with me. He’d become so much more to me—someone I cared for very deeply. Ash wasn’t very good at putting his feelings into words. Most of the time, it wasn’t hard for me to say what I felt, but with Ash, the intensity of my emotions was more than I could put to words myself. Everything about him was different. Instead of talking, instead of saying what I felt and what I experienced, I did what Ash was doing and showed him. I worked my way down his chest, licking and sucking as I went along, tasting every inch of him. His broad torso was chiseled, the muscles moving in bunches under his skin as they contracted with pleasure. I worked my way over his chest and down his abs. His body jerked when I scraped my teeth over his ribs, and he groaned when I pulled down his pants, working them over his hips. I kissed him over his lower abdomen, planting kisses along his hips. When I worked his pants down his legs, I kissed his thighs, and his cock twitched, hard and eager. I wanted to tease Ash more, but I also wanted him so badly that I didn’t push it any further than I could bear. When I closed my mouth around Ash’s cock, he sucked his breath in through his teeth and groaned. I wrapped my fingers around his shaft, closing the distance between what I could cover with my mouth and his base. His size was impressive. Slowly, I bobbed my head up and down. I stroked him in and out of my mouth, sucking harder and faster. Ash’s body tightened, his muscles contracting, and he curled his body forward when I cupped his balls in my free hand and massaged them while I sucked him off. He growled, his lips curled back from his teeth. Judging by the way his cock jerked and hardened more and more in my mouth, he was creeping closer to orgasm. Before he got too close, I pulled back. By now, I knew how to tell when he was about to come, and I didn’t want to end it here. Not yet.

He growled at me, his bright blue eyes having turned dark like a stormy ocean, and his face was riddled with pure need. In a swift motion, Ash lifted his body and flipped me over so that I was on the rug on my back and he hovered above me. I gasped, lips parted, and my legs opened for him. Ash took charge and plunged into me, and I cried out sharply when he sank in all the way to the hilt. He trembled on top of me, inside of me, and planted a hard kiss on my lips before he pulled back and pounded into me again. I grabbed onto his arms to keep me steady while Ash bucked his hips hard and fast. He pumped into me harder and faster still, and it felt incredible the way he stroked in and out of me. My pussy tightened around his cock, gripping him, and I knew he could feel my body tightening around him as the first orgasm ripped through me, coming seemingly out of nowhere. I cried out and curled on the floor, arching my back at the pleasure pulling me apart. Ash was right there with me, kissing me so that he swallowed my cries. He only slowed his pace for a short while I was at the peak of my orgasm. I’d barely come down from my pleasure when he pumped into me again, bucking his hips harder and faster so that I moaned and cried out in pure ecstasy. Ash was on the edge of his orgasm—I could tell by his breathing and the way he clenched his jaw as if he could bite back the orgasm. He held back, not letting himself go as he continued to hammer into me. With every thrust, it prolonged the aftermath of my orgasm, as if it was an echo of itself, and with Ash’s thrusting, the magic around us grew and grew. It didn’t only fill the room; it felt like it grew inside of me, filling me up in a way I’d never been filled before. The magic searched me as if it was looking for something. “What’s happening?” I breathed. “I don’t know,” Ash said. He didn’t slow down or stop. He continued to fuck me, and I cried out in pure pleasure. The magic found the bond between us, and like a vine, it wrapped itself around it, strengthening it. Suddenly, a highway opened up between us, a current, and our emotions flowed back and forth with no barrier. I felt the intensity of Ash’s emotions for me as if they were mine, but I knew they were all his. It felt different than my own emotions, although they were similar. Ash’s eyes locked on mine, and I knew he felt what I was feeling—my affection for him, too. His eyes widened slightly, as if he was shocked or surprised, but before I could decipher it, he kissed me, and we were locked together in a lover’s kiss like I’d never shared with anyone in my life. While he kissed me, I orgasmed a second time. The pleasure was so powerful it threatened to rip me apart. I cried out before the orgasm took my breath away, and I writhed in pleasure. Ash paused, waiting for me to ride out the wave of my orgasm. He watched me with hunger in his eyes, and I knew he liked what he saw. I loved that he was looking at me. When I came down from my second orgasm, panting, my skin slick with sweat, Ash grinned at me with a mischievous look. Before I could ask, he flipped me over so that I lay on my stomach. His large body covered mine, and I put a hand on my hip, pulling my ass up a little before his cock found my entrance. He slid into me with ease, and his weight pushed my hips down again. I lay sprawled on the rug, pinned by his large body, and it was hot as hell to have him on top of me so that I couldn’t go anywhere.

Not that I had anywhere else I wanted to be. Ever. Ash pumped in and out of me, one hand on my hip and one bracing his weight next to my head, and I cried out and whimpered as he fucked me. I was getting closer and closer to my third orgasm, and Ash’s breathing suggested he was on the verge with me. I expected him to lose it, to push into me as far as he could go and pulsate and jerk, but he didn’t. Instead, he pulled out of me. He pulled me up with him so that I stood, the motion so quick I got lightheaded, and he sat down on the couch. He held out his hand to me, and I took it. I didn’t need his encouragement to get on his lap. I sat on him, straddling his muscular thighs, and sank into his cock so that he was buried deep inside of me. I looked down at his face, reveling in the closeness of him. Ash wasn’t just physically close. Whatever had happened between us, magically, everything felt different now. It felt closer than before, like we’d been fused together. I leaned in and kissed him, and he pushed his tongue into my mouth. He twisted his hand into my blonde hair, and I moaned, sighing through my nose. I rocked back and forth, gyrating my hips, and we moved together on the couch. The movement wasn’t hard and urgent like it had been until now. Instead, the moment was slow and sensual and filled with emotion. It wasn’t fucking. This was making love. The moment I thought it—felt it—Ash felt it, too. His body tensed for a moment, but I ran my hand down his chest, the other still around his neck, and he relaxed again. He couldn’t fight this any more than I could. Whatever this was had happened by itself, and the only way we were going to ride it out was if we stuck together through this. I rocked my hips harder and faster. I loved being this close, this emotional, but I wanted Ash to orgasm. I wanted to give him the same pleasure he’d given me. I broke the kiss, bucking my hips harder, and stared at Ash’s perfect face. His brows pursed together, and he gritted his teeth, the look of his orgasm creeping closer. He was so damn handsome when he looked like that. His breathing came in erratic bursts. My rocking rubbed my clit against his pubic bone, and it pushed me toward my third orgasm. I cried out when the pleasure washed over me yet again, and Ash grabbed my hips. He pulled me close to him, his cock buried inside me, and we orgasmed together. His power exploded in the room around us as his orgasm erupted inside me, and he roared. I curled against him, my body riddled with lust and pleasure, and we were more connected than ever. Finally, after what felt like forever caught in the whirlwind of our ecstasy, we slowly came down to the now. I breathed hard, trying to catch my breath. Ash wrapped his arms around me and pulled me tightly against him so that I felt his heart hammering against my chest. Ash lifted me off his lap, cradling me in his arms as he carried me toward the bedroom. He put me down on the bed, and I crawled up, peeling the covers back. Ash got into bed with me, and he pulled me closer, tucking me against his side. I put my head on his chest, draped my arm over him, and reveled in the feel of the two of us together as if this was how it had always been and how it would always be. Just me and him. Our skin was slick with sweat, and my heart hammered against my chest as I tried to pull myself back together. I turned my head to look at Ash, who lay on the bed breathing just as hard.

His skin had a strange, bright green sheen to it, and his ears looked like two ears superimposed—the human ear and the drus ear. I’d never seen him in his natural form, looking like the tree spirit he was. When I reached for him, his human form slipped back into place, and it was as if the tree spirit had never been. “That was incredible,” I breathed, touching my fingers to Ash’s arm. His skin was hot. “Yeah,” he said. He pulled me closer to him, and I rolled onto my side so I could drape my arm over his chest. I put my head on his shoulder and sighed contentedly. “What was that?” I asked. “What?”

“That… feeling. I don’t know, the bond? It seemed different. As if it started all over again, but that can’t be, can it?”

Ash shook his head. “I don’t know what that was.”

“That hasn’t happened before?”

I glanced at him before he dropped a kiss in my hair. “I haven’t had a bond with a lot of people, Lorraine. I’ve never had something like this with anyone, so I really just don’t know. I liked it, though.”

I smiled. “Yeah, me too.”

Something about being bound to Ash like this was incredible. I loved how united we were, melded together as if we were one. It was closer and more intense than we’d ever been before. I wished I knew what it was, but in some ways, I really didn’t care. All I cared about was the fact that Ash and I were stuck together, and I didn’t want it to end. Ash ran his fingers up and down my arm, but I could feel him retreating from me. It was almost as if he systematically shut himself down, withdrawing bit by bit. I’d never been able to feel his emotions this way. It was as if the bond had created a highway between his soul and mine, and our emotions flowed freely back and forth. “What’s on your mind?” I asked Ash, trying to word it right so that I didn’t accuse him outright of shutting down from me so soon after he’d opened himself up completely. “You seem deep in thought.”

“It’s nothing,” Ash said. I nodded against his chest. If he didn’t want to talk about it?—

“Actually, it’s not nothing,” Ash said. “How serious are we?”

“What?” I asked. How could he still question that? “Our relationship. How serious is it?”

“You’re still asking me that?” I asked. “After what we just went through?”

Ash shifted, sitting up, and I had to roll off him. I hated that he was putting distance between us, no matter how small. Ash looked at me with a frown. Could he tell what my emotions were, too? “The bond is one thing,” Ash said, not mentioning my reaction to him shifting away from me. “The emotions behind it, the thing that ties us together… that has nothing to do with what’s happening around us.”

I narrowed my eyes at him. “Okay? I don’t understand what you’re trying to say.”

Ash hesitated like he was trying to find the right words. “I guess what I’m asking is how much you’re willing to give up for all of this,” Ash said. “I’m trying to figure out what you’re willing to leave behind and what you’re still holding onto.”

I thought about that. “I guess I’m still holding onto Cat. I mean, my sister is everything. It’s just me and her against the world since my parents died.” My stomach twisted with the familiar knot of guilt when I talked about my parents, but I pushed it away. I wasn’t going to focus on regret and the past right now. Ash was asking me about the future. “Is that all?” Ash asked. “I don’t really have much of a life back home,” I admitted

“I work all the time to keep Cat in college, but once that’s taken care of and she starts her career, the only thing I’ll have to look after… is myself. It’s not much of a life with prospects or pending dreams.”

“What about Oscar?” Ash asked. I blinked at him, shocked that he’d brought him up at all. My blood ran cold and my stomach dropped. “What about him?” I asked. “What was that reaction?” Ash asked. So, he could feel my emotions. “I don’t understand what Oscar’s got to do with anything,” I said tightly, feeling put on the spot now that he’d asked. “Why are you bringing him up?”

“He’s a big part of all of this, isn’t he?” Ash asked. “If you mean he’s the reason I’m here in the first place, I guess you’re right,” I said. “Other than that, he’s nothing.”

“So, if I asked you to give up your life back home and come live with me, here in the vale, you’ll let go?” Ash asked. I shook my head. “I don’t know.”

“How can you not know?”

“Would you come to Earth?” I challenged, flipping it around onto him. Ash’s reaction was violent. He looked calm as he watched me, but his emotions were going crazy and I couldn’t figure out why. “I can’t risk that,” Ash said after a moment of silence. “Why not?”

“I have too much to lose,” he said. My jaw dropped. “Really? And you think I don’t? Do you think I can just let go of my life on Earth and come here without losing something, too?”

“Oscar?” Ash asked. “Cat!” I cried out, incredulous that Oscar was a name he kept bringing up. “I thought you said you wouldn’t have to take care of her anymore,” Ash said. “Yeah, I wouldn’t, but that doesn’t mean I want to dedicate myself to never seeing her again. She’s all I have left, Ash. She’s my sister. I know you guys don’t understand that concept because family isn’t big in the enchanted realm, but she’s the only thing left after everything I had was ripped away from me.”

Ash shook his head, pursing his lips together. He didn’t understand what I meant. There was no sympathy from him. I couldn’t fault him for that—he didn’t understand family the way we did, and that was just a case of his upbringing, his very existence, versus mine. It still hurt that he was so set on believing that he had too much to lose when he felt that I didn’t. “What do you have to lose?” I asked carefully. “What do you mean?”

“You said you had too much to lose. What is it?”

Ash studied my face for a long time as if he was trying to decide what to say to that. “My immortality,” he said. “The world I’m used to… the only thing that defines me.”

“It sounds to me like we stand to lose pretty much the same thing, then,” I said softly. Ash didn’t say anything, but it didn’t seem like he agreed. It didn’t feel like he did. “This feels like a very big thing between us,” I said, leaning against the wall with my back, sitting shoulder to shoulder with Ash. “It feels like a deciding factor.”

“I want you to stay with me,” Ash said. “I’m in love with you, and I want you by my side.”

I hesitated. “I’m in love with you, too,” I said. It wasn’t love, not yet. In love and love weren’t the same thing, but saying that I loved him was a big deal. It carried so much more weight. “Do you want to stay here?” Ash asked. “I need time to think about it. You told me I still have time.”

Ash shook his head. “It’s either a yes or a no. What’s there to think about?”

“Why are you pushing me to make a decision?” I asked. “This is a big deal, you know.”

It’s not like choosing what flavor ice cream I’d like before the server walks away.”

Ash frowned. “What are you talking about?”

I shook my head. “Never mind.”

“I need you to tell me,” Ash said. “Yes or no.”

“Why?” I asked. “Just give me an answer.” He looked more and more anxious, freaking out about something I couldn’t tell him right now. Sure, I loved him and our bond was amazing after whatever had just happened between us, but it wasn’t that simple. “If you’re going to force me to tell you right now, the answer is going to be no.”

“What?” Ash asked, paling. “I’m not going to let you bully me into an answer, Ash. If you won’t give me the time to think about it, then you’re making my mind up for me.”

Ash pursed his lips, his eyes dulling, and he retreated from me even more. “That’s your final answer?”

“If this is the last time I get to have a choice, then yeah,” I said sternly. I felt like I was being ripped apart, limb from limb. I felt like my whole world—or what it had been until now—was falling apart. I felt like Ash was tearing away from me, and what we had crumbled because he was forcing something when it wasn’t the right time. “Okay, then,” Ash said. He got up and found his clothes, getting dressed. “What the fuck, Ash?” I demanded, my voice shrill with panic. “Where are you going?”

“Away,” he said. “I understand what this is now.”

“You don’t understand it at all!” I cried out. “You’re not being realistic.”

Ash shook his head, not answering me. He got dressed and left the room. “Ash!” I cried out. I jumped up and grabbed a robe, wrapping it around my naked body. I hurried after him, but when I got to the open front door, he was already gone. “Ash!” I cried out again, but he was nowhere to be seen. When I reached into myself, looking for the bond, I could feel it, but I couldn’t find it to tug on it and bring him back. He’d blocked himself off from me, and all I had left were my own emotions, shattering bit by bit as my heart broke and I had the nauseating feeling that it was all over.