16. Ash

Chapter Sixteen

Ash

“ W hat am I supposed to do?” I asked Rowan. We sat next to each other on the shore of the lake, watching the dryads play. “I don’t know,” Rowan said. “It sounds to me like you’re stuck.”

“Thanks for that, jackass,” I said, shaking my head. “I could have told you that.”

Rowan laughed, not caring that I just called him a jackass. “Why don’t you just let her stay here, and then all your problems are solved?”

I frowned at my friend. I’d just described my dilemma about either letting Lorraine go forever or losing my mortality. “That can’t happen,” I said. “Humans can’t live here. The only reason the magic isn’t tearing her up right now is because she’s bound to me, so my magic protects her. Or something like that. I’m not sure exactly how it works. Humans don’t usually come here to stay. You don’t see a hell of a lot of them hanging around, do you?”

“No,” Rowan said with a shrug and leaned back on one elbow. “But there have been humans who stayed and became immortal.”

I narrowed my eyes. “What are you talking about? Who? How did I not know this?”

“Don’t you ever pick up a book?” Rowan asked. “It’s all in the archives at the Great Library.”

I shook my head. I’d heard of that place, but that didn’t mean that I ever went there. Reading wasn’t my thing. “Haven’t you ever visited it?” Rowan asked, surprised.

“The place is filled with every story of everything that ever happened since the universe came into existence. It’s how we learn and grow—we look back at what already happened.”

“I don’t read,” I said. Rowan snorted. “Yeah, it shows.”

I bristled, but my curiosity got the better of me. “Are you serious? There’s really a human who ended up living here?”

“I think so. Why don’t you go find out for yourself? Anyone can go, you know.”

I jumped up. I had to find out if it was possible at all. If Lorraine could stay here with me, it would fix so many things. I wouldn’t have to worry about the future because I wouldn’t have to be the person to give it all up. She would. The idea sounded wrong the moment I thought it, but I pushed it away. That wasn’t what was important right now. If it was possible at all, I could tell her about it, and then we could go from there. What if she wanted to stay with me? What if she didn’t want to go back to the shitty life she’d had before? My mind spun as I walked through the trees. I’d never been to the Great Library because it wasn’t in this realm. It was where the gods and goddesses usually went, the only part of Mount Olympus that was accessible to us halflings who lived in the middle between their realm and Earth. I walked through the trees, and as I did, the leaves became thicker overhead and the trunks more gnarled. The darkness was unnerving as it blocked out the daylight completely. A few steps further, and I found the opening. The portal hummed with magic, and the air on my arms and neck stood on end. I swallowed hard and hesitated. Did I really want to go in there? Yes. Yes, I did. I wanted to find out if it was possible for me to have Lorraine by my side for the rest of my life—the rest of eternity. I took a breath as if I was going underwater and stepped into the pit of magic. It swallowed me whole, magic rushing over me like a thousand bubbles, and I felt lighter than air. I felt like I was being torn apart and put back together again. Suddenly, I was surrounded by a bright light that nearly blinded me. Everything around me was so bright and white it was hard to tell one thing from another. When I turned around, large marble columns rose to a tall roof, and steps led to a high door. The door was open, and inside, I saw rows and rows of books on shelves. The Great Library. I swallowed again and took the first step up. Then another and another, until I reached the door. When I set foot in the library, a faun stepped in front of me with its goat body and the torso of a man. “What do you want?” he asked, crossing his arms. Small horns showed in his messy black hair. “I want to read up on history,” I said. “Yeah? What history?”

I glanced around. Did I have to tell him exactly what I was looking for? “If you don’t tell me, you won’t find it by yourself. Trust me, that’s not even the tip of the iceberg.” He waved his hand at the thousands upon thousands of books that stretched along the walls of the building, from ceiling to floor. “Oh, I’m looking for anything on a human coming to live in the magical realm.” It sounded so stupid when I put it that way, but the faun only nodded and clip-clopped to a desk. He flipped open an ancient book and carefully turned one thick, yellowed page after another. “Yeah,” he said. “We don’t have a lot of those, but I do have one in here at the moment. Wait here.” He walked away, his hooves echoing on the marble floor, and I waited for him to come back.

I glanced around. The library really was breathtaking. It was huge, the books stretching further than the eyes could see. I couldn’t believe I’d never been here before. Finally, after waiting for what felt like forever—which was possible even for us immortals—the faun returned holding a book. It was a thin book with a warped fabric cover and thick brown pages. “Here you go. I want it back in two days.”

“That’s all I get?” I asked. He looked at me with a hard expression. “It’s a small book but very rare. All of these books are. If I don’t get it back, I’m coming for you myself, and you don’t want that.”

I swallowed and nodded. “I’ll have it back soon.”

“Good,” the faun said and turned his back on me. “Now, get out of here. It’s my lunch break.” The large doors shut behind me with a bang, and I stood on the marble porch, staring down at the book. I sat down on the step and flipped open the cover. Inside, I found the story of an immortal named Thalis. I couldn’t tell what kind of being he was. The Greek was ancient, and I didn’t understand all of it with the limited knowledge I had of the language. I was more comfortable with modern Greek. Thalis had fallen in love with a mortal woman named Nasia, who had fled to the immortal realm for protection from her husband. He’d been a terrible, violent man, and she’d feared for her life. She hadn’t had any children with him, and she only wanted to be free of the pain he wrought on her every day. Thalis had vowed he would protect her, and he’d tried to keep her in the magical realm, but very soon the power that lived there started to rip her apart, tearing at her, making her weaker and sicker. If she stayed, she would die. Thalis couldn’t stand the thought of sending her back to the mortal realm, where her husband would continue to hurt her, so he pleaded with the gods to allow him to go with her. They allowed him to give up his immortality and fall to Earth, going with her back to the town where she lived with her husband. Thalis was ready to defend her to save her, but as a mortal, his magic was gone, and his strength along with it. He was nothing more than a mortal man. Nasia’s husband was a powerful warrior, and his hatred and wrath were more powerful than what any man could bear. When he and Thalis got into a fight, it became clear that Thalis could not beat him. Thalis was struck down, and Nasia’s husband would have killed him if she hadn’t flung herself upon Thalis and taken the blow herself. Thalis was yanked back to the immortal world after Nasia died, and his quest—although not as he’d hoped—had been completed. He ached for her and pined away, knowing that his life was over without the love that had driven him. When the gods learned that Nasia had sacrificed herself to save Thalis, they found favor with her and brought her back to life. It was unsafe for her to remain on Earth, with a husband who sought revenge and would kill her again, so the gods allowed Nasia to live with Thalis in the immortal realm. They saw that their love was pure, and it pleased them, and Thalis and Nasia were bound forevermore. I closed the book. This gave me a feeling of hope. If Nasia could find favor with the gods because she’d been so pure and sacrificed herself to save Thalis, couldn’t they see that Lorraine was pure and she could stay here, too? She hadn’t done anything like that, of course, and if this was the only story…

The doors behind me opened, and the faun appeared. He looked at me, confused. “Still here?”

I thought you found what you were looking for.”

I nodded and handed him the book. “I did; you can have this back now.”

“Oh,” he said. “That was quick.”

“It wasn’t a long story.”

“I told you.”

I nodded. “Do you know where they are?”

The faun looked over his shoulder. “Who?”

“Thalis and Nasia. If they live in the realm of the immortals, they must still be alive.”

The faun shook his head. “I don’t know about half of what’s in these history books. I just know where to find your books so you can find out whatever you need to.”

“Do you know where I can find out?” I asked. The faun looked more and more irritated. “Look, I’m a librarian, not a fortune teller. Find someone else if you need more answers; I just bring the books.”

“Right,” I said. “Thanks.”

The faun grunted a response, and I left the library with more answers than I’d arrived with, but no answers that would help me in my situation. I had to find them. I wanted to talk to them. Had it been worth it in the end? After all these centuries together, were they still happy? Was it something I could do with Lorraine? I walked back to the portal, and the same bubbling sensation spat me out in the dark of the forest. I walked through the trees, relishing the light as it grew brighter and brighter, and breathed in the fresh air. I had to find Thalis and Nasia, but first, I wanted to see Lorraine. I’d been apart from her for too long, and I wanted her by my side. I ached for her, thirsted for her. I made my way to the cabin.