Chapter 19VoxRoseVox

Chapter 19

Vox

She loves me.

She told me.

And my black, twisted heart can’t even process it.

I must’ve been a saint in another life to get an angel like her to love a guy like me, but fuck, I’ll take it. Alive and in my arms, the adrenaline starts leavin’ my body, holdin’ onto my girl nestled in my arms.

Where she belongs.

The van parks in the club lot and I rush toward the door, holding Rose in my arms. She’s still foggy and partly unresponsive. I need to get her to a doctor fuckin’ now or I’ll snap. Shadow runs past me and opens the door, resting one hand on my shoulders, stopping me a second before we enter.

“Doc is there, but Ares wants to see ya.” His eyes are serious and worried.

Of course, I knew this would happen.

He glances back at the van. “Carter is bringin’ her father to the basement.”

I nod, clenching my jaw. “Can you keep an eye on her…?” I know it’s a lot to ask but I can’t let her alone.

“Of course, brother,” he says, following me to my office where I lay Rose on the couch I got next to my desk. The doc is already here, a short old white hair man, used to our way of life and most important of all, never asks questions.

Kneeling one leg on the floor, I kiss her lips one last time before everythin’ changes again. For the good or for the worst. Her hand grabs my hand on her cheek and tug at it.

“Stay,” I read on her tremblin’ lips.

Fuck, I don’t want to leave her even for a second .

“I need to talk to Ares, and then I’ll come back to ya, I promise,” I tell her, hoping to reassure her.

But the truth is, I have no fuckin’ idea what’s coming in the next hour.

“No matter what happens next, trust me. Promise me you'll trust me and won't run away.”

She nods and mouths, “I promise.”

I kiss her forehead before turning my back on her without looking back. If I did, I'd run back to her the moment her blue eyes would catch mine.

Steele is already waiting for me at my office door, looking fuckin’ awkward. Yeah, not fuckin’ easy to be around your VP when you don’t know if you can trust him anymore.

“I’ll take you to Ares,” he says, awkwardly showin’ me the way with his hand.

“Already know the house, brother,” I answer blankly, patting his shoulder.

The large metallic door of Ares’s office stands in front of me, and I don’t even bother to knock. Ares isn’t the forgiving type, but I’ve got an idea and I fuckin’ hope it’ll work.

Cause he needs to understand what the Raven Sons means to me.

Won't have much leverage here. It's gonna be either a bullet in the head or another one of his twisted mind games he likes to play.

Either way, it was fuckin' worth it.

The door of his office opens, and Ares' massive figure comes out, looking like a mix of a professional wrestler and a biker, barely passing through the doorway.

“Well, if it isn't Judas himself.” His raspy voice echoes around me, the room filled with metallic and wood furniture, the light so dim it looks like the middle of the night at a poker game.

“Let me explain–” He cuts me off with a palm in his hand.

“Don't fuckin' bother, brother, ” he says, pronouncin’ brother like an insult, a fuckin' joke.

“Took you out of the streets, fuckin' shaped you into the man you are now, and what do you give me in return? You fuckin' disobey me?” His chest is heavin’ and his mouth is a straight line, fury roarin’ from his dark eyes.

“I've never betrayed you. For ten years, I've followed you like a shadow and I always fuckin' will if you let me make it up to ya.”

A cold laugh escapes his mouth. “Make it up to me? How the fuck do you plan on doin’ that? You fucked up, Vox, there's no goin’ back from it.”

“I couldn't let her die, Prez, just couldn't. You could have asked me anything, but not this,” I say, comin’ clean cause he fuckin' needs to know why. “Truth is, I'll do it all over again for her, there's not fuckin' doubt about it.”

“Oh, so now you’re just fuckin' insane? Ya trying to get shot or somethin’? You killed one of our clients and went on savin’ that chick instead of movin’ like I fuckin' ordered you!” His fist punches the wood table.

“Think it was fuckin' easy to do that?” I bite my fist.

“You think I care ‘bout that sort of emotional shit?” he yells back.

“Course ya do.” I stare at him, daring me to lie to me. Cause I know behind his tough act, he's a fuckin' softy. Always keeps our business away from human trafficking and any form of physical abuse of women. Even gave the younger prospects a talk on consent.

“I only disobeyed cause whether you had put a bullet in my head or not, I would have fuckin' died from losing her,” I say with every fiber of my being.

A moment passes, both of us in a silent standoff.

“Fuck, you fuckin' suck, Vox,” he grunts, taking his head in his hands, then pinching the bridge of his nose.

Good.

That’s good.

He's pissed but it's not irreversible.

“The thing is, I can't fuckin' trust you anymore,” he says, holding the top of his leather chair with both hands.

“You can.” I nod.

“How?” he asks with a cold chuckle.

He wants retribution, and I have to find a fuckin' way to make it up to him or it will be the end.

“Got a deal for ya.”

“Better be a good one. It's not everyday I get rid of my VP,” he says, tilting his head.

I try to stay calm, but my hands are shaking. I fuckin' hate being in this position in front of a man who gave my life meaning when I had nothin’ left.

“Ask me anythin’ to erase my debt and I'll fuckin' do it.” I swallow, knowing the implications of what I'm asking and how Ares' twisted mind can come up with the sickest ideas.

But I don't give a fuck.

Go and burn bodies in the desert? I'll do it.

Skin twenty guys alive? No fuckin' issue.

Torture a poor guy for no reason but his entertainment? With a fuckin' smile on my face.

Anything he wants.

Almost.

“Anything you want, Ares, anythin’ but her. She's off limits.”

He whistles. “Anythin’ but her? C’mon, where's the fun?” he says with a cold laugh.

I clench my jaw so fuckin' hard I stop to not break my back teeth.

“I’ll kill any man that comes near her, even if it's you, Ares.” I stare at him, my head high cause it's not about club business anymore. We're talkin’ about my girl and he fuckin' knows it.

That's what he likes, pushin’ people on the edge, just far enough for you to snap.

“Hmm, hear her father is in the basement.”

I nod slowly, knowin’ already that whatever’s gonna come out of his mind is gonna be twisted as fuck and I won’t like it.

“The girl, she’s alive?” he asks, takin’ his chin between his index and thumb.

“Rose, her name’s Rose,” I grunt, “Doc is with her.”

“Then I got a deal for ya.” A dark smile appears on his face.

I inhale, tryin’ to stay calm with whatever Ares’s gonna throw back at me.

“You end the father,” he says, like it's a fuckin' meal on the menu. I can feel his gaze on me, knowin’ he found the fuckin' crack to exploit. I’ve been wanting to hurt her parents since I’ve known the hell they made her go through, but I intended to talk about it with Rose before.

She would have said no of course, her pure heart never wishing to hurt anyone, but I would have wanted her to know before I took care of them. Just to show her again how much I care ‘bout her and how no one can fuckin’ walk this earth once they laid a finger on her.

“You kill her father in front of her, and your debt will be fixed,” he says with a cold grin.

If I kill her father now, she won’t forgive me. Not that she would have forgiven me before, but doing it now and here won’t be pretty. She will see me kill in front of her and I fuckin’ hate myself right now to inflict this on her.

Knowing it and watchin’ it are two very different things.

Could she still love me after watchin’ me kill her father?

As much as she hates him, will she stand witnessin’ this? Or will I lose her before I even get the chance to have her?

Maybe she'll understand one day that I had to do this.

For her, for us.

Killin’ him doesn’t bother me; it’s killin’ him in front of her that the fuckin’ issue. I will wait as many years as necessary for her forgiveness. But I can’t lose her, so I'll do what I gotta do. If I do this, it will finally be over. But knowin’ that it's going to fuckin' hurt her makes my gut spin.

I don't have a choice: it’s either gettin’ shot by Ares and leavin’ my girl alone in this world or kill her father and get a chance at a life together.

“I'll do it,” I say, swallowing hard.

“Good, see? No need to make that shitty face, brother. You kill the dude and it's settled,” he says, walking toward me, crushing the space between us letting a hand rest heavy on my shoulder.

“But that's the only warning you'll ever get. There won't be a next time.”

I nod, cause I fuckin' know this already. Betrayal in our world usually ends with a gunshot. I’d be lucky if I get out of here alive. If Ares hadn't been up for a deal, I would’ve died with honor, knowin’ I had rescued my woman.

“C’mon, time to make amends,” he says, walking to the door while I follow him, fuckin’ prayin’ my angel won’t turn her back on me today.

Rose

It feels like I haven’t slept for days, and thankfully, the pain in my body has gone. My vision is back and my heartbeat is feeling normal again. The doctor is still here. He's put a bandage on my hand, took my blood pressure, and is now looking at my throat.

“Alright, pretty bad but… seen worst,” he mumbles. “Does it hurt a lot?”

I nod because, yes, despite feeling better, it still hurts a lot.

“I’m going to give you a shot of morphine, it should last long enough until you get to the hospital.” His voice is serious and calm. This old white hair man must have seen a lot to not look surprised by my situation.

“I can’t do more for you, young lady, the hospital will make you do more exams, but your throat won’t heal. It’s too damaged.” I knew it already, but it always hurts to hear it again. “You need a lot of rest and sleep. I’ll brief the vice-prez, hum, Vox, on your situation,” he says with hesitation gazing at the door before turning his back and leaving the room.

What was that?

My eyes wander around the room I’ve been brought into since Vox left me here. I didn’t need more than ten seconds to figure it was his office. His scent, wood bookshelves, a tidy desk and a leather jacket hung on his partly open door.

Tidy, clean, organized.

Just like his home.

Another man has been guarding the door since I arrived. He takes peeks at me every now and then, furrowing his brows each time like he’s constantly assessing me. He looks older than Vox with his blond hair, short stubble and tattooed knuckles.

Wait a minute. I’ve seen this man before.

He was in Vox’s garden the first time I saw him, with the beautiful brunette by his side. He must be a friend of his, one that he trusts enough to ask him to watch me while I wait for his return.

I have no clue what happened before Vox saved me from the holy bath, but it doesn’t feel right. When he told me that he loved me back, I swear my heart stopped beating at that instant. During the drive, I saw a side of him opening, one he kept from me before. Distress and panic painted his handsome face, his pupils wide like he was reliving a moment of his past as he was watching me trying to breathe.

Was it the car crash of his family?

It breaks my heart when I think of everything he went through at such a young age. I can’t imagine what it’s like to have a loving family and then losing them in a blink of an eye.

Someone knocks twice on the door, making me freeze. Somethin’s wrong, and I know it’s the reason why he was kept away from me all those days and why the atmosphere seems so tense here.

“Hey, hum… we gotta go,” the blond man says.

I shake my head.

I’m not going anywhere without Vox.

“He’ll be there, I promise,” he says, locking his eyes in mine. “I was there, when he got ya. I was there to help,” he adds, pushing the door open. “I’m Shadow.”

Just like the name on the brunette’s leather jacket.

If Vox trusted him to come with him and look out for me here, then I trust him too. I manage to sit, then to stand, but I stumble immediately.

“Wow, easy, gonna help you. You can take my arm if it’s okay with ya. If I carry you, Vox’s gonna lose his shit.”

I try to give him a small smile and take his right arm, putting most of my weight on him as we walk toward a large hall. I think I'm still in shock, but I know I'll be okay in a few hours.

The hall is large and looks like a huge warehouse, wood and metal everywhere. I focus on walking and breathing, my right hand going to my throat as I try to painfully inhale. It’s getting better thanks to the morphine.

We pass by a bar with four men staring at us. All wearing the same leather jacket as Vox, their eyes wide. I don’t have more time to take in my surroundings before Shadow walks us to a metallic door, then to a dark staircase. It takes forever to get there, hearing manly voices talking.

My father is there.

What in the…?

I don’t now how he got there but he’s kneeling on the floor of what look like a torture chamber. Blood is coming out of his knees, his body shaking.

Vox is standing next to him, hovering above him like a predator, his gaze locking with mine as I walk toward him. Our bodies are aware of each other without even speaking. I hold onto Shadow next to me, afraid to collapse if I let go.

Three other men are in the room, and I remember having seen them at Vox’s house too. One of them looks the same age as me; he’s standing in the corner, fidgeting with his fingers as if he isn’t comfortable. Another one is thin and taller than everyone, his face holding no expression, like a machine.

And the last one, well, it doesn’t take a genius to know that he is the one commanding the room. Standing two steps from Vox, with brown hair and a light stubble, watching me, his massive frame with a black shirt makes him look more like a Viking than a man. He turns toward me.

“Well, well,” he says with a low, deep voice, tilting his head on the side. “I was eager to meet you. Rose.” He chuckles strangely. Looking at Vox, I question him with my eyes.

What is this? Why are we here? What is going to happen to my father? Why doesn’t he talk to me? I’m right here.

“You’ve made things quite… difficult for us, Rose. With your leader being our client and such, well, things didn’t go the way I like them to go.” He walks around me like a lion in front of a rabbit. I keep my eyes on Vox, my lifeline in this chaos.

“I wanted Vox to go to Seattle, so we kept him here for the last few weeks but… well, he decided it was better to escape and save you like a fuckin’ knight. Or a traitor. Depends on the perspective.” Pinching the bridges of his nose, he continues, “So, ya see, I need retribution, and in our world, retribution hurts. Otherwise, it doesn’t work.”

A shiver runs down my spine. His words sink into me while I process what’s happening.

Vox didn’t have a choice.

He had to stay away.

He chose to betray his club to save me.

He chose me, knowing he would lose everything else.

I swallow hard, fighting to keep the tears from spilling. Looking at my man, I fall even harder for him than the day we danced together in his living room.

My dark knight.

Witnessing Vox and I exchanging a long look, an all too familiar voice, distorted by pain, whines in the room.

“ROSE! Do you know these men?” my father shouts.

Drifting my gaze on him, to the man who hurt me more than anyone, I nod.

“It’s him, right?” motioning his bleeding chin toward Vox, he asks. “You went whoring around with the next door neighbor, betraying our community with your lowlife morals,” he yells before Vox grabs his neck firmly.

“Don’t ever talk to my girl that way, you son of a bitch, or I swear I’ll scoop your eyes with a fuckin’ spoon and eat ice cream with it later.” His voice is foreign, cold and sharp, my father freezing in his hold instantly.

“Scoop… scoop. You’re the one who killed Mr Collins.” My father shakes his head in disbelief. “He didn’t have his eye when they found him,” he murmurs.

Looking back at me, he pleads, “Don’t trust a word from him, Rose, he’s a monster. He killed Mr Collins and our holy Shepherd. HE did it!” His voice dissolves into sobs for his lost leader.

The Shepherd is dead? And Mr Collins too? But… but how?

Did Vox… killed them?

For… me?

Raising my eyes toward Vox, I sense my lower lip trembling at his worried gaze.

Did you do this?

“Won’t let any man who hurt you walk this earth, Angel,” he answers my silent question like it’s a proverb he lives by. My chest tightens, my lips parting as I register what’s happening. Vox killed them for me. Because he knew they had hurt me. Vox furrows his brows and tightens his jaw, betraying his fear.

Oh god, Vox.

He thinks I’m gonna run away from him now that I know. He thinks I won’t have the guts to accept what he’s done, who he is, what he does. I know I should cry and be distressed by this idea but… somehow, I only want to run into his arms more.

I’ll always be there, Vox, always.

Watching me, he slowly nods once, telling me silently that he understands if I leave. Watching him in distress of me leaving him is tearing my guts apart.

“He killed our Shepherd, Rose, OUR SHEPHERD! The waves of chaos will float on us, the Divine will break our world apart, it will be the end of civilization. And he did this! HIM!” my fathers shouts, his face wincing in pain, while his chin is angled towards my knight.

Does he realize how messed up our beliefs are, or is he so brainwashed he can't even think by himself anymore?

“He is a killer, Rose. Even a girl like you deserves better than him.”

I shut my eyes for a second, pushing his harsh words away from me.

Even a girl like me.

Shielding myself with the love of the man standing in front of me, I take a deep breath. The pieces of the puzzle are coming together, making my heart pump harder in my chest.

Locking my watery eyes with Vox, I mouth “I love you” because I do.

God, I do.

Relief washes over him, his chest resting higher as if I had given him strength.

I love you.

Don’t ever doubt it.

And perhaps this is wrong, perhaps this is sick and twisted, but he’s all I’ve ever dreamt of, all I’ve ever wished for. And I know, deep down, I’ll never let go of this man. No matter what. I’m as much his as he is mine. And if I have to dance in his darkness to bring him my light, then so be it.

These are my father’s last moments on this earth, I just know it. Vox’s protective gaze doesn't hide anything from me, not now that I know all that he is capable of.

“Vox and I found a deal to let both of ya lovebirds off the hook, Rose,” the large man standing next to Vox says, and I already know that it won’t be a walk in the park.

“He’s going to kill your father in front of you. Then it will be over. Vox will stay my vice-president and you’ll be free to be together in Seattle.”

White noise pumps in my ears for the second time today. The father who never loved me, the man who should have protected me, is now going to be killed because of me. I should cry and fight them, beg them to spare his life and offer mine in exchange, but I don’t. Because the man kneeling before me has never been my dad or anything close to a father figure.

He’s the one who tortured me so many times I can’t even count them anymore.

He’s the one who locked me in my room while the fire destroyed our house, knowing all too well that I was stuck in there, burning slowly.

He’s the one who offered me to an old man to be raped and he’s the so-called father who watched me be drowned and left for dead in front of our community today.

I will never stop loving him, because a child, however mistreated, will always love their parents. But I won’t stand in the way of death and try to save him.

He dug his own grave and tried to bury me alive in it.

His death will be my rebirth.

Locking my eyes on my father, I push away the arm holding me upright and kneel down next to him. Turning his face towards me, holding his chin, I take a mental photo of his face, remembering the skin and bones of the devil who brought me into this world.

Vox’s hands tighten on my father’s nape, but I stay still, observing my father with more pity than sadness. I open my mouth with a trembling inhale, because I need to tell him something, even if he doesn't sign, even if he doesn't understand.

I need it for me.

“I forgive you,” I say without a sound, watching his eyes widen.

He got it. After two years, he knew how to read lips but he hid it from me. Because I didn't matter. I was just the shadow of the daughter they wished they had. I stand back, my hands shaking.

That's it, there's no more to say anymore.

“Rose?” Vox's worried tone makes me warmer, wanting to go into his arms and hide myself in the crook of his neck.

“I’m okay,” I whisper to him, his eyes glued to my lips. Looking down at my father, his soft gaze switches to a dark one. He grips his neck, holding him so tight the veins of his forearm swell.

“Now just cause Rose’s a fuckin' angel and she’s gonna have to watch you die, I'm gonna give ya a quick death,” he says to my father. I’ve never heard him talk like that, with so much violence and coldness.

It’s a part of him, Rose. You can’t have his light without his dark side too.

Fear plagues the eyes of my father, locked on mine, his lower lips trembling.

“Cause despite you bunch of fuckers, she's as pure as the day she was born.” Vox’s voice carries so much love for me it makes my heart pound in my ears, watching the love of my life about to do what I'll never be able to.

“Now say Thank you, Rose for her mercy, cause she’s the only reason I’m not skinning you alive.”

I know I should run away, but I stay still, wanting to fulfill the deal Vox made for us.

“The doors of the Ascendium will burn your souls and our Shepherd shall be reborn from the ashes of–” my father answers, his eyes empty of any emotion.

“Shut the fuck up and say ‘thank you, Rose’ or I’m gonna cut your tongue with a razor and let you bleed to death in this fuckin’ basement,” Vox threatens him with so much anger a shiver runs down my spine. Noticing my small jerk, Vox’s gaze glances once at me, his warm look reassuring me, telling me he’s only playing the part.

My father freezes at his words, lowering his head like the coward he is.

Unable to face me.

“Thank… thank you, Rose,” my father whispers. I never thought I would need to hear those words but somehow it makes me feel better.

Vox looks at me, a question in his eyes. And because I'm done with this life, with the abuse, with all I had to go through, I don't let myself weaken. Not now, not after they left me dying in the holy bath like an animal. The old Rose would have tried to stop this but not anymore. Vox helped me find who I have always been.

A fallen angel, embracing the light of my darkness.

So I make the smallest nod.

I’m ready.

“Eyes on me, sweetheart,” his rough voice orders me firmly, and yet I hear the words carrying so much love for me. I know he wishes I didn't have to witness what he's about to do.

I hold on to his gaze like a lifeline with watery eyes because he's the one I want.

The one who's not afraid to show me his darkness.

The one who will do what's necessary to set me free.

Even if he's afraid of it, even if he thinks I won't forgive him.

His body shifts behind my father’s. My heart’s pounding in my ears, my body fully aware and anticipating what’s going to happen.

Deep breath, it’s going to be okay.

Soon it will be over.

Vox’s body moves gracefully, as if he had done this so many times it had become routine. I wish I could look away, but I’m mesmerized by him.

“You're doing great, Angel, keep your eyes up there.” His hand grabs my father's head and snaps it, breaking his neck and a disgusting wailing comes out of my father's mouth before his body falls on the ground.

Lifeless.

It’s over. He won’t hurt me anymore .

Once the last sigh leaves his breath, waterfalls of tears burst out of me while Vox rushes towards me, pushing me a few feet aside, away from my father's dead body. He turns me so I don't have to look at it and hugs me in his massive arms, his leather scent soothing me like a balm.

“He's gone, it's over now, Angel,” he whispers, kissing my forehead, both hands on my cheeks.

Home, that's what Vox’s scent is.

“Please tell me ya forgive me, Angel,” a broken whisper comes out of him, only for us to hear. “Fuckin' hated doing this in front of ya.” I grip his shirt hard and rest my forehead on his, nodding.

We’re okay, there’s nothing to forgive.

“I’m not going anywhere,” I sign, watching him read my hands.

“I love ya so fuckin’ much, Angel,” he says in my ear before placing a rough kiss on my lips, his arm still holding me so tight like he wished he could crawl under my skin.

“Vox,” the man behind me says. Vox tilts his head, keeping me in his arms while staring at his president.

“Give me a sec, sweetheart, and then we’ll get ya out of here.” His hand reluctantly leaves my body as he walks toward the man holding our fate in his hands.

Vox

Turning toward my prez, I look down a sec at the dead man on the floor.

Thank fuck he’ll never hurt her ever again .

I killed him and she forgave me. She’s staying, despite knowing all that I am, all that I’m capable of. I’m the luckiest bastard on earth for keeping her after today.

But one obstacle is still standing in our way.

Staring at Ares, I say firmly, “Rose is mine. I want the whole fuckin' club to know it. I want her to have the Raven Sons protection and she'll be sharing my life from now on,” I say, cause it not a fuckin' question, it's a statement.

Ares walks toward me, his eyes narrowing on me.

Are we done? Is he satisfied?

Was it enough for him?

Cause I'm fuckin' tired of everythin’ right now and just want to be with my girl and give her the care she needs.

“Yeah. We’re done here.” He nods.

Fuckin’ finally.

I nod back, my eyes still locked in his, both of us knowin’ there's no more bullshit between us.

“Here, I thought you’d like your phone back.” He takes it from his back pocket and hands it to me. “Couple of texts in here you might wanna look at.”

I furrow my brows.

What the fuck is he sayin’?

“Your girl,” he says, motioning his chin to Rose behind me.

I know she must have tried to text me, but why would he mention it?

“Wanna know why I’m lettin’ you off the hook?” he asks, tiltin’ his head slightly.

“Sure,” I nod, cause I have no fuckin’ idea where he’s goin’ with this.

“She wrote to ya this mornin’. Thought it didn’t have battery, but, anyway, I read it and, well, figured she was old lady material after all. I just needed ya to kill her father to settle our affairs but, yeah, I get why you did it, brother.”

I’m fuckin’ speechless. Wonder what my angel wrote to pierce thought his stone heart, but fuck, I’ll take it.

Without making a fuss cause we’re not that type of folks, I raise my hand and he shakes it back.

“Glad to have you back, VP,” he says, punching my shoulder.

What a fuckin' relief.

“Glad to be back, Prez.”