1. Knox

CHAPTER ONE

Knox

I never thought I could hate someone so much.

As I watch the love of my life—no exaggeration there—drool all over his new boyfriend, I’m hit with the green monster of jealousy. Everest looks so happy, all in love and shit, but I can’t find it in me to be thrilled for him because I want to be in Rhys’s place.

I want to be the one he’s grinding against on the dance floor like he wants to be fucked. I want to be the one he’s staring at like the moon and stars. I want to be the one he’s kissing like he couldn’t live without them.

And I used to be, but somehow that got fucked up, and I lost him to a shithead like Rhys Conway.

I really thought Everest and I had something. I mean, we love hanging out together, the sex was amazing , and I was there to support him with everything he’s been through. Rhys hated him while I treasured him, but I ended up being the one left out in the cold.

I was supposed to come here to hang out with Everest, but he’s once again ditched me for his boyfriend. They’re celebrating or some shit, every fucking XO worker just so freaking perky about Rhys getting into college. There’s no way in hell I’m joining in on that, so I’m stewing in one of the corner booths, just watching the man of my dreams be with someone else.

Fuck, seeing him mouth I love you to Rhys is like a punch in the balls. No, worse. It’s like getting them ripped off and stuffed down my throat.

I’m pathetic.

Pathetic and drunk.

I inhale my Bareback, some fruity drink Everest loves, and stumble as I stand. With the way this night is going, I’m going to need about four more of those to start enjoying myself. I could leave, but I’m too much of a masochist to work up the courage to do that. Or I’m too whipped to realize Everest isn’t going to run away from his boyfriend and into my arms to spend the night with me.

Christ, it’s not even the sex I miss. Even though it was spectacular, and the best I’ve ever had, it’s more than that. I just miss how close we used to be. Rhys is a caveman and has a thing about anyone touching “ what’s his ” so now my physical contact with Everest is limited. I miss cuddling with him, stroking his hair and kissing his cheek. I miss the way he used to look at me like I was his favorite person.

Seems I can’t claim that title anymore.

I grumble to myself as I make my way to the bar. As I try to flag one of the bartenders, nobody pays me any attention. Apparently, I’m just invisible to everyone tonight.

“Excuse me! Can I get some fucking service?”

“Who shit in your cereal?”

I turn with a groan at the sound of Elton’s voice. As Everest’s older brother, you’d think I’d be friendly with him, but that’s not the case. I know all my best friend’s insecurities involving his brother, and I’m firmly on his side. Elton can go fuck himself for all I care. Not that he has a high opinion of me either. To him, I’m just another asshole he thinks is a former dealer who somehow got on his apathetic list, when he’s the nicest fucking guy to everyone else.

“Fuck off,” I mumble, trying to wave an unfamiliar bartender over who holds up her index finger at me. Seriously? Where’s the customer service? “Jesus, I just want a drink.”

“Hi, Elty!”

The other bartender—Skylar, I think—comes bouncing in front of us. His bright green hair is vibrant even in the dark club, and he focuses solely on Elton, even though I’m. Right. Here.

“Hey,” Elton says smoothly, that amazing charm in place as he fist bumps Skylar. “What’s the recommendation tonight?”

Skylar tips his head from side to side, one painted nail on his chin as he thinks. He snaps his fingers and practically beams when he answers. “Blue Nipples! It’s the newest drink I’ve invented! Want to try it?”

Elton grins. “I’d love to. Put it on my tab.” He then gives me the side-eye and sighs. “Give him one too.”

“I don’t need anything from you,” I bite out.

Skylar frowns at me, an obvious distaste in his dual-colored eyes. “That’s not very nice. Watch your tone or I won’t put in the secret ingredient.”

“Why so prickly, Knox?” Elton asks, shaking his head. “I was trying to do a good thing here.”

I could argue, but if this is the only way I can get another drink, so be it. “Fine.” I look at Skylar. “Secret ingredient?”

He scowls at me, even though I’m about ninety percent sure I’m smiling right now. “Absinthe.”

“In a Blue Nipple? Isn’t that green?”

“Why is he still talking?” Skylar asks, a pout on his lips as he looks at Elton. “Are you two friends?”

Elton snorts. “Sure. Why not?”

Skylar throws me one last glare before turning on his heels to get started on our drinks. I roll my eyes, waving my fingers at him when he looks over his shoulder. “Damn, what a dick.”

“Skylar is literally the nicest person I know,” Elton argues, almost defensive of the petite bartender.

I quirk an eyebrow. “He wasn’t nice to me.”

“Well, that’s because you’re an asshole.”

I grit my teeth but can’t come up with an argument. Okay, maybe that’s true. I have a short list of people I like, and it begins and ends with Everest. Other people just haven’t been worth my time. If they were all as incredible as my best friend, then perhaps I’d actually give a damn and be nice.

“Here you go,” Skylar sing-songs as he hands us the most ridiculous looking drinks imaginable. They’re somehow both blue and green, smoking, and lit with sparklers. He catches our expressions and frowns. “What? Is it not enough?”

Elton gulps. “Is it…safe?”

“Of course!” Skylar’s tone is too chipper for the hint of hesitation in his eyes. “Um, you two are the first ones to test it, though…”

Smirking, I cock my pierced eyebrow at Elton as I take the drink, alcohol and pride making me act like an idiot. “Scared?”

Elton narrows his eyes and yanks his drink off the bar, nearly burning himself with the sparkler. “No.”

Skylar glances between the two of us and claps. “Bottoms up, boys!”

Elton hesitates with the glass halfway to his lips, and he looks close to chickening out, until he catches my stare. Oh, I’m definitely challenging him. He wants to play the big, bad savior who got me a drink? He can put his money where his mouth is.

Our eyes stay connected, intensity and bravado burning between us. I’m magnetized by the way the club’s neon lights cast shadows on his green eyes, highlighting the sheer determination in them. He accepts my challenge and clinks his glass against mine as we both down our drinks in one go.

And Jesus fucking Christ, that was a mistake.

One Blue Nipple turns into two, which turns into three and, somehow, I’ve found myself sitting in a booth next to Elton Hill, laughing my ass off.

“Tah-dah!” he drunkenly cheers, making uncoordinated jazz hands at his drinking straw creation. We challenged each other to make the best straw palace, the loser buying the next Blue Nipple if his didn’t reach as high as the other.

I frown when I look at mine. It’s a sad two-story structure, because why the fuck is Elton a drinking straw mastermind? “Mine’s cooler looking.”

“What?” he gasps, all exaggerated wide eyes and dizzy smile. “No, no, no. Mine liiiiterally has a balcony.”

“What? Where?” I crane my neck and squint, trying to see through the flashes of the club lights what he’s talking about but end up smacking my head against his shoulder. Huffing, I rub my forehead. “Fuck, you’re sturdy.”

He snorts, his meaty hands grabbing onto my head to rock me from side to side. “Sorry, Knoxy.”

“No, we’re not doing that.” I cringe at the nickname. “Let go of me, you heathen.”

Laughing, he gives my cheek what I guess was supposed to be a light tap, but it comes across as a fucking sucker punch. I narrow my eyes at him but, damn, I’m too faded to feel any pain.

As carefully as I can manage, and using the cover of Elton taking a drink as a distraction, I tip over his straw mansion.

When he sees what I’ve done, he jumps onto his feet, hands waving frantically around the table. “ Noooo , not Elton’s Escape!” He looks far too deadly as he glares at me. “How. Dare. You.”

With a smirk, I lean back and place my interlocked hands behind my head. “I’ll take another Blue Nipple, please.”

“No, I think you two have had enough.”

We both turn to look at Skylar, who’s fidgeting nervously in front of us. He eyes all the cocktail glasses on the table and the damage I inflicted upon Elton’s Escape and lets out a high-pitched giggle. “Um, I might have to take the Absinthe out of the drink.”

“Oh, come on, Skylar,” Elton coos, pinching his cheek. “We’re having a good time.”

Once again, another high pitched giggle. “You do realize you two have been organizing the straw caddy for over twenty minutes now, right?”

I take a second look and…what the hell? Who destroyed Kasa Knox and left a pile of sad little straws in its wake? “This must be investigated.”

Elton sniffles as he wipes his nose. “What?”

I blink at him. “What?”

“Oh Lord, Rhys is going to be so mad…” Skylar mumbles, casting a quick glance over his shoulder. “Thankfully, Rheverest is in full bloom, and he’s too perked up on his boyfriend to notice. Just let me call you both a ride when you’re ready to go.”

Elton thanks Skylar, but all I can think about is what the fuck Rheverest is and Everest being “all perked up” on Rhys. The familiar bubble of jealousy rises when I look out at the club and see my best friend fawning over his boyfriend. Rhys is just working behind the bar, not even doing anything, and Everest is eating it up.

I can’t stand looking at them, can’t stand that what had turned into a weirdly pleasant night is now ruined again thanks to Rhys.

I turn to Elton, who seems to be swaying on his feet. “Want to smoke?”

“Like the weed?” Elton asks, pausing with a blank expression before cracking up at his own words. “Get it? Like not just any weed. The weed.”

I’m in a sour mood now and don’t bother waiting for his answer. I don’t even know why I’ve invited him to come smoke with me. All I know is I need to be somewhere that’s not here—watching Rhys be all happy that he got what I wanted—and if Elton is along for the ride, so be it.

I get up and curse when my legs nearly give out from under me. The lights give me a bit of a headache as I make my way through the club and to the bathroom. For a nightclub, it’s actually a lot cleaner than most, but still disgusting. The room is empty when I enter, and after a second, I hear the soft click of Elton joining me.

“Damn, I don’t think I’ve gotten high since my senior year of high school.”

“Consider yourself re-virginized,” I joke dryly, fishing the already rolled joint and a lighter out of my pocket. Holding the joint to my lips, I light it and take a deep drag. I get the best stuff thanks to my line of work, so the effects are fucking immediate.

Thank God.

Elton takes the joint after me and we do rounds of puff-puff-pass for a few minutes, quietly enjoying the buzz. He sways after a few hits and, damn, even with my high tolerance, I consider killing the joint. I don’t, and we trade back and forth a bit more, but when we hear voices coming from the other side of the door, Elton panics.

“It’s the Feds!” he yells, dropping the joint into the sink as a look of mortification overcomes him. “I can’t go back to Azkaban!”

I roll my eyes. “For the love of— Hey!”

Before I know it, I’m being dragged into one of the stalls and pressed uncomfortably against the toilet. Not even my buzz can dampen my irritation when Elton clamps his hand over my mouth. Getting high in the bathroom of a club is the least unusual thing that’s done in here, but the weed and the Blue Nipples are making him paranoid.

I’m just about to slap his hand away and get the fuck out of here, when two new voices fill the room.

“God, baby, you’re so fucking hot.”

Both our eyes widen at the sound of Rhys’s sultry voice. Please no . For the love of all that’s holy, tell me we’re not about to hear Everest and Rhys fuck in the bathroom.

A breathy sigh fills the room before Everest speaks. “Rhys, not here…”

The relief on Elton’s face is astronomical, his wide green eyes relaxing, and a deep breath leaving him. Yeah, that makes two of us. I think if we were subjected to that, we’d both be throwing up all the Blue Nipples we ingested.

The door to the bathroom cracks open, but then closes again. There’s a silence on the other side of the stall door, which causes Elton and I to stay motionless. Maybe they changed their minds?—

“You’re the love of my life, baby. I couldn’t have done any of this without you.”

Barf.

But then my heart cracks with Everest’s following words.

“I’m yours, Rhys. Always. I love you so much.”

Elton’s making swoony eyes at the disgusting declaration of love, but everything in me crumbles as Rhys and Everest leave. The sticky hot feeling of jealousy and longing strikes me. Anger bubbles in my gut. I’m torn between crawling under the covers and crying forever and lighting the damn world on fire. Everything I ever wanted belongs to someone else now, and I’m so fucking pissed.

So maybe that’s the reason I rip Elton’s hand off my mouth and smash my lips against his.

It has to be the Blue Nipples, the joint, the absolute agony of hearing Everest’s words that’s making me need something right now. Something to make me whole and make me feel seen. Something to make me forget about my life and shower me with the attention I crave. It’s pathetic, but I’m way past feeling embarrassed now.

That is, until Elton rips away with a growl, shoving my shoulders until the back of my legs dig into the toilet. “What the fuck, man?”

“I…” I lick my puffy lips, playing with my piercing as I try to formulate the words. “I…”

He’s staring at me with this dumb look on his face, eyes bloodshot and blown wide, mouth hanging agape. “I’m straight, I think. I mean, I’ve never actually hooked up with a guy. I’ve thought about it, but I haven’t.”

“Okay,” I say, stuck on the fact that he hasn’t let my shoulders go. “That’s fine.”

“It’s the Blue Nipples, right?” he asks, his fingers dancing down my shoulders to hold on to my elbows.

If that’s the excuse he needs, then fine. All I know is that I need this. “Yeah. Blue Nipples.”

He doesn’t hesitate this time as he makes the first move, hands grasping my cheeks as he demolishes my mouth with an almost punishing passion. Groaning, his cock digs into my hip as he drags me to him, and while he’s a good kisser, I want something else.

“W-What are you doing?” he stutters when I fall to my knees.

I scoff as I start undoing his belt. “What does it look like I’m doing? I’m going to suck your dick.”

“Oh okay,” he mumbles, eyes transfixed on the way I yank down his zipper with impatience. If he’s shy, his cock certainly doesn’t show it, already hard and leaking when I pull him out of his underwear.

I don’t waste time trying to make this romantic or some shit and that first hit of salty precum on the tip of my tongue has my eyes fluttering shut in relief. Wave after wave of comfort washes over me as I take his length in my mouth, hollowing out my cheeks to slurp my way up his cock.

“Your tongue is pierced,” he gasps, digging his fingers into my hair as I start to bob my head. “Fuck, man. Your tongue is pierced .”

Confidence hits me in full force, and I make sure said tongue bar drags against the underside of his dick as I pull off him. “You like it?”

“Don’t stop!” he yells in a panic, then shoves my face against his crotch with a messy desperation that makes me chuckle. “Holy hell, yes, I like it.”

I take all his breathy sighs and incoherent mumbling and get to work. I don’t bother teasing him because both of us are too wound up to wait. I know by the way he’s panting and huffing and squirming against the stall door that he wants to come. Just as much as I want to taste him on my tongue.

But it isn’t enough. That nagging memory of my shitty situation is still in the back of my head. Everything I’m trying to run away from is still there nagging from the periphery of my thoughts. I need something else. I need?—

“Say my name,” I demand, jacking him quickly as I flick my pierced tongue against his head. “Say my name, Elton.”

Diving back down on his cock, I fill my mouth until I’m choking on him. I shove my hands into his jeans and play with his balls, teasing the skin behind them as he loses his goddamn mind. All the while, I wait for the satisfaction that hits when?—

“ Yes, Knox! ”

Just like that, as burst after burst of his hot cum slides down my throat, my eyes fall shut with hazy relief. I drink him all in like a man dying of thirst, only let down when I reach the bottom of the glass to find it empty. The moment of bliss—of perfect blankness—is short-lived when I realize what I’ve done.

Oh shit.

Fuck the Blue Nipples.