14. Tara

14

TARA

I no sooner get in the front door of Sugar Glaze Bakery and Emery is on me. She's different now that she has gotten back together with Nash. In the past, she probably would've told me to forget about Jason and get over it, but now she's telling me that maybe I should give Jason a chance.

"He's a good guy." She holds up her hands to stop me. "I can't tell you how I know it, but I do."

I look at her curiously. She’s not telling me something. "What is it you know?"

She shrugs her shoulders. "The only thing that I can tell you is that he's done jobs before with Nash. He really is a good guy, Tara, and you deserve that."

I shake my head, clearly confused. "I'm sorry. Did you not hear the woman, Ashley, that was here earlier? Did you hear what she said?”

She waves her hand as if wiping it all away. “What he did before he came to Whiskey Run with some other girl has nothing to do with you."

I sigh in frustration, and Emery pats me on the back before pulling me in for a tight hug. “Look, Becca and April are coming in. Why don't you go on home, take you a long, hot bath, and just think about things? There's no rush. You need to do what's right for you."

She's right. I know she's right. I do need to take some time to think about all this with a clear mind. "I think I would like to go home."

She says, "Do it and take a long, hot bath. I'm telling you it will help you relax."

I nod and then go to the back room and gather my purse and belongings before going and telling her bye. I get in my car and drive toward my house. It's on the outskirts of town, up Whiskey Run Mountain. There's not a lot of houses up here, and the road is not maintained by the highway department, so there are ruts everywhere. I finally get home and go straight to the bathroom, stripping my clothes off and turning the water on as hot as it will go. When the tub is filled halfway up, I put some soap in it and then climb in, resting my head on the soft cushion at the back of the tub. I lie there until the water starts to turn cold, and then I let some of it out and fill it up with hot water again.

I’m doing my best to clear my mind, but that's hard to do because all I want to think about is Jason. The truth is I'm afraid to love because I know what it's like to lose someone you love. I've lost the two people that I've been the closest to, and I can't imagine losing Jason. I sit up in the tub. This is not like me. I'm not one to run from problems, but it seems like that's all I've done with Jason. What if he gets to a point where he doesn't want to chase me anymore? And why should he? I trusted some strange woman over him. He's done nothing but be protective and caring of me, and I've thrown it in his face over and over.

I let out the water and step out of the bathtub and dry off. I need to call him or at least text him. With a towel wrapped around me, I walk through the house and find my phone lying on the kitchen counter. Something outside draws my attention, and I look up, and my mouth drops in shock. There's a fire on the mountain. My hand grips my phone, and I run across the house to my bedroom. I open a drawer and tug on a pair of shorts and a T-shirt and stuff my feet into tennis shoes before running out the front door of my house. The fire is probably over a hundred yards away, but it's there. I run to my car and slow down as I get close to it. My hood is popped open, and I look inside and find that my battery has been removed. What in the world?

"What the fuck!" I scream. I run around to the side of the house and then to the back. The fire is everywhere. It's like one big circle all around me, and it's getting closer by the minute. I call 911 and give them my address. They tell me to stay on the line, but I hang up, knowing that there's no way I cannot call Jason right now. He answers almost immediately.

"I love you. I should have said it to you earlier, but I love you."

He's quiet for just a second. And then his voice rings clear across the line. "I love you too, Mama."

A sob erupts from inside me, and I can't stop the tears from falling down my face.

"What's wrong?" he asks.

"There's a fire," I stutter.

"Get out,” he says immediately.

I take a deep breath, trying to pull myself together. Panicking is not going to help me right now. “I can't. My battery has been taken from my car. The road is blocked. I can't walk out of here. I can't go anywhere. I'm surrounded, Jason.”

“I'm coming. Give me your address.”

"No!" I scream into the phone.

"You're my old lady, Mama. That means something. Tell me where your house is."

I start to cry in earnest now. There's no way that I can let him come up here. "No, I won't let you come here, Jason. It's a suicide mission. I just had to tell you that I love you."

I sob and hang up the phone, putting it in my pocket. There's nothing I can do, but I'm not a quitter. I can't just sit here and wait for the flames to come for me. I at least have to try.

I run to the opposite side of my house and turn on the water hose full blast. I spray at the flames that are getting closer and closer, but it doesn't do anything to stop them. I can’t give up, though. Even though I can feel the heat from the fire, I don't stop. My phone rings, and I almost ignore it, but I pull my it from my pocket and look at it. Emery is calling. Damn it, why didn't I think to call her and the girls? I know I need to say goodbye to them. I'm sobbing when I answer the phone. “Emery,” I start, but she interrupts me almost hysterically. "Get to your roof, do it now."

"What?" I ask her in surprise.

"Listen to me, Tara, we don't have time. I need you to do whatever you can do to get to your roof. They're coming for you."

I pocket the phone and go inside my house and climb up to the top floor. I tug and pull on the rope to open the attic door and climb up to it and then knock out the window with my foot. I climb out the broken window and grab on to the roof above. With my feet out on the windowsill, I pull myself the foot up onto the top of the roof. From here, I can see the flames surrounding me, and in the distance I can see the fire truck coming, but I don't think they're going to make it in time.