6. Becca

6

BECCA

I can’t blame him this time. I'm the one that brought up my ex, which was a stupid move on my part. But I figure hey, to heck with it. Might as well just get it out in the open.

"Yeah, okay. The opposite of my ex. Well, I guess the opposite would be somebody that wants to spend time with me. Pays for dinner, not all the time, but sometimes. Likes to laugh, try new things, doesn't drink all the time, doesn't take my money, doesn't cheat, and is honest." I say it all in one quick breath, and I can feel my face getting hot the more I say. I feel like I'm telling him way more than I should be at this point. Isn’t there some kind of rule where you don’t talk about exes on the first date? Obviously, I’m just setting myself up to fail.

He leans back in his chair and looks at me closely. His food is hot sitting in front of him and he should be eating, but instead he's watching me. In a serious tone, he says, "If that's what you're looking for, then I'm the perfect rebound guy."

I laugh as I pick up a French fry and take a bite. "I bet you are," I tell him sarcastically.

He leans forward. "I just met you and I'm already trying to figure out how I can spend more time with you. Honey, I won't let you pay when you're with me." I start to interrupt him, but he holds his hand up. "That was instilled in me since I was a young kid. You'll have to take it up with my momma if you don’t like it. I like to laugh, but I'm not funny. I'm always up for trying new things and adventures. I mean, I ride bulls for a living. I drink socially, but never in excess. I won't take your money, and I definitely wouldn't cheat on you. And well, I'm honest to a fault."

I stare at him open-mouthed. The way he says it, he definitely sounds like he's the perfect rebound guy. Surely I can do this and not let my heart get involved. I can have fun, and just from the short time that I have known him, I think that's what this could be. We could have fun together. It could be a rebound thing, and I can leave it at that. My heart doesn’t have to get involved.

"You really want to do this? You want to be my rebound guy?" I ask him.

He's staring back at me almost intensely. "I'm just getting to know you, but I know I want to be more than the rebound guy. I'll settle for the rebound guy, but I have no doubt I'm going to want more." He stops and takes a breath. With a lift of his shoulder, he says, "See, honesty. I can't NOT be honest."

Darn it. He's saying all of the right things. I should, after my last experience, be ready for this. I should have my guard up, but already he's tearing it down. Flustered, I answer him with a smirk, "Honesty. Okay, well, here's honesty for you. I won't have sex with you."

As soon as the words leave my mouth, I realize how loud I said it, and I look around the restaurant that is filled with other lunch patrons. Sure enough, people have stopped eating and are staring at Lucas and me. I ignore them and turn back to Lucas with a jut of my chin.

He’s smirking at me. "Well, I didn't expect you to sleep with me tonight or anything. What kind of guy do you take me for anyway?"

"Har har, I'm serious. I'm not interested. I did it once, and it was a horrible experience and I don't want to repeat it."

He seems taken aback by my admission, but he pulls himself together quickly. He reaches across the table, sliding our plates out of the way. He grabs my hand and holds it between both of his, stroking his fingers in my palm and then lacing our fingers together. The feel of his rough hands against mine sends a tremble up my arms. His touch is everything, and I can't seem to look away from our intertwined hands.

His voice is gruff, as if it's dropped a whole octave. "What about holding hands? Is that okay with you?"

I squeak, "Yeah." Then I clear my throat and say it again. "Yeah."

He's holding my hand with one hand, and the other one is tracing patterns on my wrist. His touch is soft but firm. "And maybe kiss?" he asks.

I pull my eyes away from our hands and look up at him. His blue eyes seem darker than they were just minutes ago, and he's staring at me with a question. When I don't answer him, he asks again. "What about kissing? Would kissing be okay?"

I take a deep breath. "Yeah, kissing would probably be okay."

He nods, and our eyes are glued to each other. The feeling of his gaze on me is too much for me to handle. I force myself to look away, pulling my hands back at the same time. "We better eat before it gets cold."

He nods, and we both eat our food. We talk about the rodeo and about the bakery. We talk about a little bit of everything. When we're done eating, I hate to do it because I'm enjoying myself, but I know I need to get back to work. I don't want to take advantage of Emery's kindness. He pays the bill at the restaurant, and as we walk outside, he grabs my hand and pulls it up between the two of us. "Can I hold your hand on the way back?" I nod, speechless. He laces our fingers together and holds our hands between us as we walk back.

We're both quiet, and all I can think about is the feeling of him next to me and the protective way that he's holding on to me. When we get back to the bakery, he yawns and apologizes. "I'm sorry. I've been up since 4:00 a.m."

Worriedly, I look up at him. "Oh no, and you have an hour drive to get home. Be safe and drive carefully."

He nods, staring down at me. He wants to kiss me. I can see it in his face that he wants to, and I hold my breath, waiting for it to happen. But when he leans down, his lips press against my forehead in a soft kiss and then he pulls back. "I'll talk to you soon. Okay?"

I nod and try not to let my disappointment show. "Yes. Thank you for lunch."

He turns to walk away, and I tell him to be careful again. "Don't worry about me, honey. I'm going to see you soon."

I almost ask him when, but I stop myself. I know that that would sound needy if I did so all I do is nod my head. But an hour and a half later, when I know that he's had time to make it home, I can't resist. I text the number that he called me from last night.

"Hey, I just wanted to make sure that you made it home safe since you were so tired."

His text back is instant. "You're worried about me?"

I don't deny it, I just ignore the question. "So I guess you're home then?"

"Yeah, honey. I'm home. Thanks again for the pie and for going out with me."

"You're welcome," I respond. I put my phone away and keep it on silent the rest of the day. I know that I don't need to get all tied up in a new relationship already. He’s the rebound guy. At least that's what I keep telling myself.