4. May

4

MAY

“What is going on?” Kinsey barely waits before Colt gets out of earshot before she's on me, wanting to know what in the world is going on.

“Nothing,” I tell her, shaking my head, but even I can hear the lie in my voice.

She looks at me doubtfully. “That's a lie. Did you see the look on that man's face when you said ‘nothing serious’? I swear it was like you physically punched him in the heart. What's going on with you two?”

I did see that. I was doing my best not to look at Aiden the whole time. The conversation was happening, and you want to talk about something awkward. That was so awkward. But I felt like I was stuck, and I had to say something. Obviously, I didn't say the truth. To me, what Aiden and I have is serious. At least on my part. But it's not something that I'm ready to announce to everybody, especially my brother, who is never going to be okay with me and his best friend dating. Especially when his friend is a player. “Nothing's going on between the two of us,” I tell her. She tilts her head to the side.

“May Stone. We have been best friends since grade school. You better spill it. How long has this been going on?”

I let out a deep breath and put my head in my hand. “Almost two years,” I admit.

She gasps, and I lift my head to look at her. I know she's going to be upset. She's my best friend, and I should have told her, but there's no way I wanted my brother to know. He wouldn't understand or approve.

I shrug my shoulders like it's not a big deal. “We're just having fun. That's it. We never said it was serious or even exclusive. He was allowed to date other people, and so was I. We were just spending time with each other.”

She leans across the table and looks over her shoulder to make sure Colt is not close and then looks back at me. “Well, you may not have said it was serious or exclusive, but obviously that's not what he thought.”

I throw my hands up. “He's a player. Kinsey, you've heard the stories about him.”

She pounds her fist on the table. “From what? Years ago when they were in the Army? We live in Whiskey Run, May. There’s always gossip. Heck, you can’t avoid it. But have you heard one peep of him with another woman? Even Kelly at Red’s Diner hit on him, and he turned her down. She's like a sure thing. If he was a player, he would have taken her up on it, don't you think?”

I sit back in my chair and cross my arms over my chest. I didn't know that. I had no idea that Kelly had asked him out. My heart starts to pound just thinking about it. I hate to even think of him with another woman.

Kinsey's nodding her head. “Yes. Damn. Why didn't I put this together? You two are always hanging out together when we're in a group. You never want to do anything. I should have known. Why did I not figure this out?”

“It's not serious. We're just friends.”

Kinsey straightens in her seat. “Okay, are you telling me that you don't love him? That you don't want him as more than a friend? There’s no way I’m going to believe that you’ve been with this man for two years and don’t feel anything. That’s not who you are.”

I almost say it. I almost tell her that I don't love him, but I know it would be a lie. I've been through hell lately wondering what could be between us, but I haven't let myself believe that we could be anything more. We said we were just friends, and I've worked hard to keep my feelings in check.

But even as I’m thinking it, I’m shaking my head. “I can't say that, Kins. Damn, we agreed. We said we'd be just friends with benefits but I... I fell in love with him.”

Kinsey starts bouncing in her seat excitedly. “That's great. Go tell him.”

“It’s not that easy.” I resist her trying to pull me from my seat and shake my head. It pains me just thinking about it. “I can't go for it. And then what? Wait for him to change his mind and decide that we should just be friends? It will kill me. Literally, I don’t think I would survive it.” My chest hurts just thinking about it.

“You're scared, May. That's all, but you can't live in fear. You could lose the best thing that’s ever happened to you.” She holds her hand up when I try to deny it. “Tell me he’s not,” she commands.

I shake my head firmly. “He is. I know he is, but I can’t do it, Kins. He probably never wants to speak to me again, anyway. You saw him. You heard what I said. He's not going to just forgive and forget that.”

Kinsey nods in agreement. “Fine. What about the other thing?”

I look over Kinsey’s shoulder, wondering if my brother is within earshot now. He’s still talking to some cowboy up at the bar. But I can tell by Kinsey’s tone that I definitely don't want him to know this. “Tell me you didn't tell Colt. I told you that I can handle it.”

Kinsey looks at me in fierce protectiveness. We've always looked out for each other, and I know that she's fighting hard on what she needs to do in this position. “You need to tell your brother or I'm going to tell him.”

I throw my hands up. “There's nothing to tell.”

She hisses across the table, “You have a stalker, May. I would say that’s definitely something that your brother needs to know about.”

I shake it off. “He brought me flowers and asked me out. I told him no. I wouldn't really say that that's being a stalker.”

She holds her fingers up as if she's counting. “And you keep getting phone calls with heavy breathing. He shows up everywhere you're at. Heck, he's probably here right now.” She looks around the room.

I reach over and put a hand on her to stop her. “Stop. I’m going to handle it.”

“Look, May, I can hold off on telling Colt about Aiden and let you figure that out. But not this. If you got hurt, if this stalker did something to you and hurt you, I would never forgive myself.”

I knew when I told her that she would not be able to keep this as a secret. “Fine, but not tonight. I've had enough tonight.”

She wants to argue with me. I know she does. I should never have told her, but I was freaked out one day when I saw Dr. Lassiter at three different places when I was running errands. I swear, I drove around Whiskey Run for hours just trying to make sure I’d lost him. It was a moment of weakness that I confided in Kinsey about it.

“Tomorrow then. Promise,” she commands.

Darn it. I see Colt over Kinsey’s shoulder, and he’s heading back this way. “Okay, tomorrow.”

We both sit up straight as Colt sits down. “What’d I miss?” he asks.

“Nothing, just talking about the kids,” I answer.

He sets the beer bottles down in front of us, but I push mine away. Drinking is the last thing I need right now. I need to keep my head on straight and figure out what the hell I’m going to do. I’m trying to figure out how to cut out when Kinsey’s favorite song comes on the jukebox. She stands up. “May, you care if I steal your brother for a dance?”

I’m already standing up with them. “Not at all, I need to head home anyway. Y’all have a good night and have some fun.”

I barely get two steps when Colt hollers after me, “Don’t forget about tomorrow night. We’ll see you at six.”

I wave in acknowledgement. I really don’t want to meet this guy, but I also know where my brother’s coming from. I’ll have dinner with them, and that will be it. There’s no way anything more will come of it because my heart’s already taken.